Anybody can get fired from a job without much effort, but it takes a special kind of person to whiff it that hard on day one. Redditor u/Silent-Zebra wanted to hear all of the wildest stories people had regarding first-day fires, and we're still kind of shocked at how brazen so many people are with their antisocial behavior.
Whatever you do, don't try to emulate any of the unhinged behavior you see below. If you don't want to be there, just quit like a reasonable person. Don't just start sawing logs mid-shift, bruh.
People who saw someone get fired on day one of a new job, what did that person do to get fired?
byu/Silent-Zebra inAskReddit
Don't bother going through more than 3,000 comments in this thread; we found the best ones already. Consider this community service.
Your phone call can wait until after you drop off the kids
Comment
byu/Silent-Zebra from discussion
inAskReddit
Comment
byu/Silent-Zebra from discussion
inAskReddit
Showing up drunk makes it difficult to argue why you shouldn't be fired
Comment
byu/Silent-Zebra from discussion
inAskReddit
Comment
byu/Silent-Zebra from discussion
inAskReddit
If the job involves driving, you're probably going to be asked to drive, unfortunately
Comment
byu/Silent-Zebra from discussion
inAskReddit
Take it easy on the candy dish, okay?
Comment
byu/Silent-Zebra from discussion
inAskReddit
Comment
byu/Silent-Zebra from discussion
inAskReddit
You need to wear the safety equipment for, ya know, safety reasons
Comment
byu/Silent-Zebra from discussion
inAskReddit
Comment
byu/Silent-Zebra from discussion
inAskReddit
Comment
byu/Silent-Zebra from discussion
inAskReddit
Don't get high at work — especially if you're going to talk about it publicly
Comment
byu/Silent-Zebra from discussion
inAskReddit
Comment
byu/Silent-Zebra from discussion
inAskReddit
Can't believe this needs to be said, but don't imprison your children before work
Comment
byu/Silent-Zebra from discussion
inAskReddit
Ushers don't get to just sit back and watch entire movies at work
Comment
byu/Silent-Zebra from discussion
inAskReddit
This is not what people mean when they say 'fake it 'til you make it'
Comment
byu/Silent-Zebra from discussion
inAskReddit
Still need some tips on what not to do? Check out even more wild stories from failed jobs.
Via Reddit.
[Image: Andrea Piacquadio]