People like to draw conclusions when it comes to human behavior, and sometimes it's a good way to feel out the situation. Green flags affirm the good while red flags indicate warning. More recently, there have been mentions of beige flags — items that steer clear of being a deal-breaker but aren't net positives either — but that's unnecessarily complicating things.

There's always a lot of talk about red flags, being the bad person or being oblivious about one's actions on Reddit that often lead to philosophizing whether they're the asshole or not. We've tried to roundup some of the biggest red flags and asshole behavior that we've seen each week with a roundup of some the most egregious human behavior that people graciously shared online.

Is My Partner Being Childish For Refusing To Follow A Modicum Of House Rules, Like Knowing How To Dry Dishcloths And Sponges?

So, my partner and I have been together for three years now, living together for most of it, and we argue quite a lot about household chores. The other day, we were both in the kitchen, about to make dinner. He wanted to cook for us, but before we started, the kitchen was messy. I asked him if he could clean up his dishes from the day, and I offered to clean the hob and the kitchen side so they would be ready to be used for cooking.

After we both finished, he had washed up, but he left the sponges and dishcloths wet in the sink. I politely asked him not to leave them there because they would become moldy, and I requested that he take the sponge out of the sink and hang the dishcloth out to dry. Instead, he stuffed them into a compartment on the drying rack where they obviously wouldn't dry. I pointed out his mistake, and he responded by asking where exactly I wanted him to put them, implying that his choice wasn't right. I told him that as a grown adult, I simply wanted him to choose somewhere to hang them up himself, as I didn't want to be responsible for all the decisions.

Instances like this happen quite frequently. For example, he often misplaces items and asks me where they are, which is fine, but he never puts a system in place to reduce this issue, and it ends up impacting both of our lives. I seem to be the only one to remember what groceries we need, remembering to buy toiletries, towels and bedding laundry, just keeping on top of the household chores in general.

When I told him to figure it out himself, he got really annoyed and accused me of being mean to him. I genuinely didn't understand how I was being mean; I just want someone who would take initiative with decisions like that.

He stormed off and went to play a computer game, while I sat alone in the room. After about 20 minutes, I went into the room where he was playing his game and told him that I would start cooking dinner. Around five minutes later, he abruptly came in, grabbed the saucepans and frying pans out of my hands as I was using them, and started swearing at me. He brought up our earlier conversation about how I had been mean to him, and then he told me to get the fuck out of the kitchen. I complied and left him to it. He then proceeded to shout from the kitchen 'I’m only cooking for myself now.'

On one hand, I think I could be the asshole because it would have been easy for me to say, "just hang it up on the drying rack or on a radiator" instead of telling him to figure it out himself, and I guess pointing out that he should know where to put it so it dries because he’s an adult is a bit condescending. But, on the other hand, I feel like it's reasonable to expect my partner to take the initiative in situations like this.

[ecraguaeb]

After wondering if OP was being harsh on themselves for not giving their partner a straight answer, many commenters pointed out that OP's partner was indeed being a big baby here, especially after he decided to interrupt OP's cooking and proceed to be rude — a potential red flag if not addressed in time. From asking him to grow up, to calling his tantrums out, read the rest of the thread here.

Is My Wife (31F) Being Stubborn For Not Amending Her Routine Or Am I (36M) Being Stuck-Up For Not Adjusting?

Hello everyone, in a bit of a bind at the minute regarding the wife and some visitors.

My wife (31F) and I (36M) have been married for 2 years now) and she has a very regimented wellness/mindfulness routine. She wakes up at 5am, does yoga in the spare room, goes on a quick run and comes home to make a smoothie using one of those loud nutri-ninja blenders and will get on with her day. She also meditates in there, journals and does other things that I can't disrupt her because its her personal time. She was like this before I met her and was clear that if I wasn't on board with this aspect of her routine, she doesn't want to pursue anything with me. While I am not thrilled she has that whole room for herself (I did ask if I could put my PC in there so it's not in the dining room space), it was there before I moved in with her so I made my peace with it.

My sister is coming into town with her partner and young daughter (6F). We both agreed on letting them stay with us to save money. My wife wants them to sleep in the living room because we have multiple comfortable sofas for them to sleep on. While there is enough room, I made my case for buying air mattresses for them and to set them up in my wife's spare room. I also asked her if she would part with her smoothie making at least until they wake up so they aren't disturbed in the morning.

My wife is vehemently opposed to giving up her room and smoothies. She doesn't think the room will be comfortable for them (no carpets and its got huge windows and massive mirrors on one wall) and that I'm using this situation as a way to disrupt her routine I apparently hate. I'm not sure where she got that from since I've never asked her to change it. We're in a disagreement over where they should stay and my wife is event threatening to not allow them to stay and have them get a hotel for the visit. AITA? I don't think giving up the room is that hard an ask for my family's comfort and it's only 3 days.

[routinedisrupt]

Redditors called OP the asshole in this case; and OP even came back to update the post with a positive ending, saying that he'd change his ways. People pointed out that OP's wife's routine, though seemingly selfish, is something of a personal ritual which should be respected; and that they had enough space to accommodate their guests, as they pointed out the many trade-offs that come with living with friends and family. Read the rest of the thread here.

If My (33F) Husband (34M) Didn't Want Random Movers In The House And I'm Not Of Much Help, Am I Being Obtuse?

My husband and I recently moved into a house and needed to get a stove and refrigerator. Well today we had one coming and my husband said he didn't want anyone coming into the house. He didn't know the guy bringing them. His mom knows the guy. So I made the comment "well I'll just let you handle all that" (I assumed him and the guy would bring them in). He said he was going to need my help. So I asked how I was supposed to help. I'm 90 lbs 5’3”…. He said he needed help getting the stuff inside. And that all the weight wouldn't be on me because when two people lift something it's not as heavy….. ummmm I'm the size of a 12 year old girl. How would anyone in their right mind expect someone of my size to lift half of either of these things?! He threw a complete attitude and was a complete asshole about the situation. So AITA? Or are his expectations way too high here? Obviously if they aren't that heavy I will help. But I don't see how I can be much help here. Both of these appliances are usually pretty heavy….

[MiszMoody420]

OP did provide some critical context later, of how they've been injured previously and didn't want to risk getting hurt again and made it clear that they wouldn't be able to really lift heavy loads during the move, but Redditors were more concerned that OP's husband had the qualifier of not letting random people into the house, even with the exception of this delivery being vouched by his mom. One mover called OP's husband insufferable and other movers bantered about other bad clients like OP's husband. Read the rest of the thread here.

Why Is My Boyfriend Asking Me To Lose Weight Because I'm Too 'Buff'?

I'm about 5'5ish and 138lbs. I work out several times a week and I can deadlift 200 lbs easy. The other day, my boyfriend and I were at a restaurant and when I was about to order a steak, he interrupted me and told the waitress that I'll have a salad. I asked him why would he do that, he told me that I needed to lose weight because I was too "buff". When I told the waitress that I WILL be having the steak, my boyfriend said that fine, I can have the steak but he won't be paying for it. So I had the medium rare juicy steak all by myself and the next day, he told me that he'll break up with me unless I start eating salads "like a lady". Is he just insecure that I have muscles? Or does he want a skinny girl?

[AlexaBea7]

While OP did say that this behavior was newfound, the top comment made a clear point about dictating what people get to eat relationship because of their appearances, while many others chimed in with responses about him being insecure or reacting to other factors that caused him to make the outburst. Read the rest of the thread here.

Do I Break Up With My (F23) Boyfriend (M24) For Always 'Forgetting' Our Date Nights?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years. In the last year we have had trouble finding the time to spend time together due to our jobs and other commitments. We do live together but sometimes it feels like we're just existing together in the same space. So around 2 months ago I proposed that we do a date night once every two weeks and he agreed. Not one date has happened yet.

The first time it happened, we were meant to go bowling together. That never happened because he said that he forgot he made plans with his friends. The second time we were meant to go see a movie together and i even reminded him the day before and he said that he was all mine. Next day he's getting dressed and i think hes getting ready for the date.

He told me that another friend invited him to something he really wanted to go to and he'd make it up to me.

And the third time we were meant to go out to eat, his friends were over at ours the day before when he got invited out to a party the next day, our date. And he agreed to go and the date never happened.

It makes me feel like he doesn't care about me anymore and just can't be bothered with the effort. I don't want to break up but it just feel like he doesn't want to be with me anymore Should i just cut my losses or try and make him understand my point of view?

[ThrowRA-memoryloss]

Netizens didn't hold back, and called OP's boyfriend insensitive and disrespectful, and offered advice like having a tough talk with him about it, canceling the date calender or outright dump him. Read the rest of the thread here.

Read our last week's column about a bunch of insensitive partners.

[Photo by Tomáš Vydržal on Unsplash]