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Am I Being Insensitive For Not Caring About My Boyfriend's Tooth Pain, And The Biggest Red Flag Behavior This Week

Am I Being Insensitive For Not Caring About My Boyfriend's Tooth Pain, And The Biggest Red Flag Behavior This Week
This week we've got a bunch of insensitive partners and not all of them decided to change their mind about being a dunce.
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People like to draw conclusions when it comes to human behavior, and sometimes it's a good way to feel out the situation. Green flags affirm the good while red flags indicate warning. More recently, there have been mentions of beige flags — items that steer clear of being a deal-breaker but aren't net positives either — but that's unnecessarily complicating things.

There's always a lot of talk about red flags, being the bad person or being oblivious about one's actions on Reddit that often lead to philosophizing whether they're the asshole or not. We've tried to roundup some of the biggest red flags and asshole behavior that we've seen each week with a roundup of some the most egregious human behavior that people graciously shared online.



Is The Guy Making Fun Of Me (27F) For Being A Virgin?

For context, I'm a 27 year old female virgin and I have going out with this guy pretty recently. On one of our dates, I confided in him that I was a virgin and that I didn't have a lot of dating experience. He said that was weird and asked if there was something wrong with me. He said I was going to become the "40 year old virgin" before I know it. He then offered to take my virginity to get "it over with." I ended up going home and crying all night because I felt like a loser. I had never been spoken to like that before and I don't know what to do. Maybe he's right and I am a loser.

[Zestyclose_Worry_988]

Redditors were quick to point out the insensitivity of the situation and there were many supportive comments that came forward to tell OP that they were being unfairly treated and that OP had absolutely nothing to be ashamed of. OP later provided an update saying that they had ended things with the guy and had moved on. Read the rest of the thread here.


Is My (27F) Husband (27M) Being Unreasonably Stubborn For Dismissing My Seafood Allergy In Our Home?

I (F27) have a seafood allergy, anything that comes from the sea will cause me to breakout in hives, nauseated and difficulty breathing, it never got to the point of being anaphylaxis reaction but i do not want to risk it. My husband (27M) loves seafood specifically lobster. he will eat it when visiting his parents (who lives 4h away) but never around me. His parents are coming to visit next week and are bringing lobster ( My MIL dosent understand my allergy and think i just get a small rash). I just found out today. I told my husband absolutely not, he can go to our friends house to eat it but not here. He told me how he will eat in the living room and i can stay in the bedroom, i said no the smell is going to linger and il be nauseated for hours. He promised to clean up after and scrub i said no i dont want to risk it. We argued a bit more and this is where we are. he is usually really good about my allergy and always check in restaurants before going there if they sell seafood and will warn the waiters about my allergy. this is completely out of character for him so im wondering if im being the AH here.

[Left_Body682]

From being told that OP's husband needs to be "tossed back into the sea" to more serious calls for amending their relationship, netizens primarily focused on OP's health and agreed that the husband — who OP said is usually reasonable — was in the wrong here. OP did provide a good update and said that the husband decided to forgo the lobster plan and apologized. Read the rest of their update and the comments here.


Is My (20F) Boyfriend (22M) Setting A Boundary Or Curfew By Asking Me Stop Hanging Out With My Friends At Midnight?

some background info i work the entire day i get home sometimes around 6 or 7. on my days off i dedicate those to my bf if he isn’t working either of course. recently i’ve become good friends with a few of my coworkers and we try to find time to hangout the thing is though when i’m off they’re working and vice versa. usually they get off work at 10pm so when we’re able to hangout it’s after 10pm. i don’t live with my bf i have my own place so it’d be understandable if he didn’t want me coming to his house after 1am but i’m an adult and have my own place. we got into an argument because he says that it’s a boundary for me to not be out after 12am because my bf doesn’t like that, i told him that’s not a boundary that’s more or less just a rule he’s implicating onto me, i just have a question to settle this once and for all is giving someone a curfew a boundary or is it just a rule?

[Forsaken_Ad8207]

While the top comments couldn't help but be humorous, with the obvious Cinderella nod, one commenter explained that boundaries are decisions or reactions to behavior, whereas this was more of a controlling statement. Others also pointed out that his boundaries could potentially lead to a breakup if that's the decision or conclusion he wanted to go with. Read the rest of their answers here.


Am I Being Insensitive For Trying To Teach My Boyfriend A Lesson In Dental Care By Not Helping Him While He's In Pain?

We live together and he’s always hated the dentist, but he doesn’t do any preventative care to keep him from needing to see one. He flosses regularly and uses mouthwash, but he only brushes once a day. I’ve voiced my concerns (and my disgust) but he can never seem to make a habit of it. He had appointments lined up last year and they cancelled one of them day of, and he just never called back to reschedule. About a month ago he had horrible pain, and I would get so annoyed with him. He ended up going to the hospital for oral blocks like 3 times in the same night. He had his mom go with him because I simply didn’t want to be in the emergency room at 2am. He was given a number to call to schedule with an emergency dental office and he never called. Yesterday his pain started up again and I brushed him off and asked what he expected? He wanted me to comfort him. I don’t feel obligated to comfort him when everything that’s happening was self inflicted and very much preventable. I told him he should have scheduled, and should have started brushing more. I’ve never experienced any tooth pain before and I understand it’s really bad, but I also regularly see the dentist and brush 2x a day. His pain was 100% avoidable. So AITA?

[ThrowRAbabymouse]

Coming to a conclusion after 500 comments, Redditors christened OP the asshole in this situation for having a cold heart. Some of the top comments quickly delved into a personal health and genetics tug-of-war, while others said that playing the "I told you so" card during tooth pain — an excruciating experience — wasn't a slick move. Read the rest of their comments here.


Is It Rude To Refuse Making Dinner When It's My Wife's Turn To Do So?

So me and my wife attempt to do a 50/50 split in the household. In our case I do the laundry, trashbags, most of the cat related tasks (litterbox, food, drinking water mostly fall on to me like 80/20), I vacuum daily during the week because the cleaner only comes on friday and we have long haired cats. My wife does the smaller food groceries for stuff like dinner, the cooking most of the week, grooming of the cats once or twice a week, and does yard work twice a year.

Now this 50/50 split is important to me, because I don’t want either of us to feel used by the other, or make either feel like we’re lazy. So last saturday we’ve been lazing about playing the new Legend of Zelda. We have an appointment in the evening at 6:30. I did the laundry in the mean time while my wife continued playing Zelda, I took a shower, went down and asked how late we’re going to eat because we’re supposed to be somewhere in 1.5 hours. I said “probably best to eat at 5:30 since we’re supposed to be there and there an hour later”. Mind you this was an appointment at an event organized by one of her friends. She said she wanted to grab a shower as well and that we weren’t going to make 5:30, and told me “there’s instructions on the packaging so you can do it as well, otherwise we’re not going to make it”.

That didn’t sit right with me because she wasn’t doing anything today except playing a game, and due to her own poor planning I was supposed to fix dinner as well. So I told her no. She told me “the instructions are clear I’m sure you can do it”. I told her “it’s not that I can’t do it, but I don’t want to do it. I did the laundry today no problem, so the cooking is up to you as we agreed on”. She told me she felt “blackmailed” into not showering and I told her “no, we’ll just be late”. We both have fulltime jobs from mo to fri, both office jobs.

[FamilyTroublesTA]

This one's a doozy. OP was given the red asshole sticker on their post, but the arguments in the chat were verbose and defended both parties, OP for being unnecessarily mathematical about their system and the wife "taking advantage of the situation." OP did provide a couple of lengthy edits and updates saying that they would do better, but it seems that people were more inclined to call both parties the bad guy here. Read the rest of their comments here.



[Photo by Abigail Keenan on Unsplash]

Comments

  1. John Doe 10 months ago

    That guy was a dick, but a 27yo virgin is not ordinary. Huge red flag. If I was on a date with them, I would not pursue the relationship and politely decline a second date.

    1. There is no good answer is there... The people who fail to recognize the red flags are morons. The people who try to point out the red flags are dicks.

      Pointing out the flag IS NOT dick behavior. The guy in the story Suggesting he can remove the flag right now was being a dick, but I would like to hear the recording before I send him to hell.

    2. Frank Castle 10 months ago

      You do not have a clue regarding what is "normal" in this situation. But, clearly, you are major dick and should stay away from women. You are a "huge red flag" to any normal decent person.


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