There are too many excellent advice columns to keep up with, so we're committed to bringing you links to the best advice column questions and answers every week. Here's a roundup of the most interesting, thought-provoking and surprising questions that our favorite columnists addressed in recent days.

Should I Tell My Friend The Guy I Set Her Up With Isn’t Asking Her Out Again Because She Ordered A Glass Of Milk At A Bar?

I (a married woman) just set up a single male co-worker and a single female friend of mine on a blind date. He's a sharp guy who's traveled the world and knows all about fine foods, wines, classical music, designer labels, etc., and she's a stunningly beautiful and intelligent artist. I really thought they'd make a great couple. Immediately after their date, my friend thought it had gone well and was very excited. On Monday morning, I asked my co-worker, and he said my friend was attractive and a nice person, but he wouldn't be asking for a second date.

My friend has been bewildered by her difficulty in finding a steady relationship, so I pressed him as to why. He told me they went to a swanky bar, and she — wait for it — ordered a plain glass of milk. He found this so clueless and childish that he couldn't imagine being with her. Now my friend is neither a big drinker nor a teetotaler — just someone who's going to order what she wants without worrying about what others think. Should I tell her why she won't be hearing from this guy again, so she can reconsider ordering milk on dates in the future? Should I tell him how ridiculous he is for judging someone for something so petty?

[Slate]

Jenée Desmond-Harris opines that the letter writer's friend shouldn't hide her true self on dates. "The idea here is not to fake a personality so she can be paired up with someone who you think is a fit for her," she writes. "It's to keep being herself until she comes across someone who is actually right for her." Read the rest of her answer.

How Can I Get My Daughter-In-Law, A Stay-At-Home Mom, To Drive Several Hours Per Week To Take Care Of My Mother?

My mother is 78 and requires 24/7 care. I am working full time. My son and daughter-in-law live about two hours away with their two kids. My son is a doctor and my daughter-in-law quit working when she was pregnant with their oldest.

Since she quit, I've been asking every few months whether she can come by once or twice a week to watch my mother. They always say no. When I was there last month, I sat them down and asked why my daughter-in-law is so unwilling to help with my mother when she isn't working. I feel I am owed an explanation.

They did not give me one but offered a substantial check for a home health aide.

My mother was adamant that we do not hire strangers or put her in a home; my son knows this, so I don't understand the money. I also know his education was expensive, their house is new, and she doesn't work. Where is this money coming from? I don't feel like this is all adding up. What do I do now?

[The Washington Post]

Carolyn Hax advises the letter writer to hire professional caregivers to take care of their mother. "Stop thinking your daughter-in-law's time — anyone's time — is yours to schedule!" she writes. "Or their money is yours to parse!" Read the rest of her answer.

Is There A Polite Way For Me To Insult My Neighbors On Social Media?

Our new neighbors are well-known for being troublemakers. We are maintaining a cold and distant relationship with them, due to their famously disrespectful ways, and we have already been warned they are gossiping about us because of this.

I had to request intervention from the police due to them constantly blocking the entrance to my garage. I need to know if there is something polite I can write in my social media feed, which they follow, to the effect of, "The original homeowners are always remembered for their excellent behavior, respect, good boundaries and friendly relations — things that the new owners are completely lacking."

We are ignoring them, but they haven't forgotten my call to the police and are constantly gossiping that we are the bad ones.

[UExpress]

Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin, the writers behind the Miss Manners persona, observe that posting insults on social media doesn't qualify as cold or distant. "Miss Manners recommends actually ignoring them because it requires so much less effort — and because civilities fail once the attacks begin," they write. Read the rest of their answer.

Am I Justified In Refusing To Speak To Certain Members Of My Wife’s Synagogue, Due To The Grudges I Hold Against Them?

My wife is a synagogue president, which is a highly visible position.

She has come across far more people than I ever have.

First, she has a so-called friend from her time at Mary Kay. This woman was a pushy lady who once called my father a loser. She denied ever saying that. My spouse says that she doesn't believe either of us because she did not hear the conversation herself. For a time, she insisted that we continue to socialize with this person and her husband, but I refused and continue to do so.

In addition, my spouse wants me to remain sociable with a couple who came into our home on New Year's Day. I said, "Happy New Year" to both, and they said absolutely nothing in return.

This second couple has never invited us to their residence. As synagogue members, I stay away from and will not acknowledge them. The husband saw me in our on-site restaurant area and tried to initiate a conversation. It took me three times to tell him to stay away, and he finally did. He doesn't understand why I stay distant. My spouse doesn't think that he is "evil."

What is your best advice? I stand my ground and will not allow any of these people to get near me. Am I justified in doing such?

[Creators]

Annie Lane encourages the letter writer to stop finding faults with their wife's friends. "Instead of asking if you are justified, how about asking how you and your wife can have nice, harmonious friendships with other members of the synagogue, and also spending one-on-one time with your wife?" she writes. Read the rest of her answer.

Do I Have To Apologize For Using The N-Word, While Quoting A Joke, As A White Person In Front Of A Black Guest?

My son is a comedian. When his comedian friends come to my town for gigs, I put them up. Recently, I hosted a Black friend of his — I am white — and we talked about a famous Black comic. I paraphrased one of the comic's jokes that impressed me: A TV censor allowed the comic to use the N-word but objected to his use of a gay slur. When the comic asked why, the censor said: "Because you're not gay." The comic replied: "Well, I'm not a N-word, either." I used the full N-word, as the comic had, for accuracy. Later, the guest told my son that my language had made him feel unsafe and that I am a racist. My son is angry with me. But I am stunned that he and his friend can't distinguish between quoting an antiracist joke and being racist. Do I have to apologize?

[The New York Times]

Philip Galanes urges the letter writer to apologize. "There is no reason for you or any white person to use that word — even in quotes," he writes. "It is a racist epithet with a complex history that you can research if you are interested." Read the rest of his answer.

Is It Controlling To Expect My Fiancé To Brush His Teeth Regularly To Avoid Triggering My Celiac Disease?

I struggled for years with vomiting and nausea, as well as other digestive issues I dismissed as having a "sensitive stomach." When my fiancé, "Marc," and I started dating, he urged me to find out the cause of my issues. Six months ago, I was diagnosed with celiac disease, an autoimmune disorder that is managed through a gluten-free diet.

Marc has been incredibly supportive, and our kitchen is mostly gluten-free. I can get fairly sick, so we are pretty careful. There's just one issue: I can get cross-contaminated if he kisses me after eating gluten, and he does eat gluten quite often. It can be resolved if he brushes his teeth thoroughly, but he brushes his teeth only every two or three days.

Marc is a grown man, and while we've discussed it briefly from a health standpoint, I don't want to be responsible for managing his oral hygiene. That needs to be his responsibility. I don't know where to draw the line, though, without being controlling. Is it reasonable to expect my fiancé to brush his teeth after eating gluten? Or every morning and evening? Or must I just accept that I won't be able to kiss him except on rare occasions?

[UExpress]

Abigail Van Buren rules that it is not controlling to expect one's partner to brush their teeth regularly. "If kissing your fiance causes you to have episodes of nausea and vomiting (as well as other digestive issues), out of respect for your welfare, your fiance should be willing, if not eager, to modify his snacking habits,” she writes. Read the rest of her answer.

Read our last week's column here.