There are too many excellent advice columns to keep up with, so we're committed to bringing you links to the best advice column questions and answers every week. Here's a roundup of the most interesting, thought-provoking and surprising questions that our favorite columnists addressed in recent days.

Am I Wrong To Object When My Husband Buys Himself A First-Class Plane Ticket While My Kids And I Fly Coach?

My husband loves to travel and always either pays for, or gets an upgrade into, the first-class cabin. When we travel together with our children, he buys himself a ticket in first class and puts us in economy or economy plus. He even did this recently on an overnight flight to Paris. He justifies flying alone in first class because of the cost, and the fact that our kids (12 and 16) might feel alone if I were to travel in first with him and leave them in the rear cabin. I feel that this is unfair.

I don't think our kids would mind if they were in economy plus and my husband and I sat together in first class. Is that unfair of me to want? My husband has suggested traveling alone on a different flight ahead of us so that we don't feel badly about the disparity, but this does not really address or solve the problem of the inherent selfishness in his thinking. Am I wrong? We are happy to travel, and love going places together, but it is still very strange.

[The New York Times]

Kwame Anthony Appiah advises the letter writer to take turns with their husband in first class. "[A] modern marriage is meant to be a pairing of equals, in which each partner treats the other with respect, consideration and dignity," he writes. "Your husband has another view." Read the rest of his answer.

Doesn't It Seem Like A Good Plan To Give My Ex-Husband Legal Custody Of The Baby I Decided To Have On My Own?

At 38 and with no long-term partner in sight, I decided to pursue single motherhood. I am thrilled to be in my 16th week of pregnancy. I have a lot of support in friends and family, and I'm well prepared financially.

My ex-husband, "Mike," asked whether he could assume the role of father for my baby, share legal custody and co-parent with me. Once I got over my initial surprise, I've been considering saying yes. We were compatible in most respects but split up over Mike's repeated infidelities. Although that made him a terrible husband, he has many good qualities, and I think he'd be a good father. He is even willing to move closer to me, so custody exchanges wouldn't be a hassle.

He swears this isn't an attempt to win me back. Although I feel capable of rearing this baby on my own, it would be good for them to have a father.

My two strongest supporters, my widowed father and my best friend, think this is a terrible idea, though they haven't come up with any strong arguments against it. More love and support for the baby can't be a bad thing. Doesn't this seem like a good plan to you?

[The Washington Post]

Carolyn Hax urges the letter writer to talk to a lawyer. "I can't see giving any custody away on even a well-informed hunch," she writes. "If he's in earnest, and a good egg, then he will be willing to involve himself in the baby's life as a really good friend of yours would, without the promise of anything but that." Read the rest of her answer.

How Can I Ask My Daughter-In-Law, Who Recently Had A Baby, To Choose Gifts For Me, Since My Son Is Bad At Gift-Giving?

I know it sounds materialistic, but when my son got engaged to his new wife, one thing I was thrilled about was that I would finally receive good gifts. Gifts are my love language, but my son is atrocious at gift-giving (a fact my now-DIL and I have commiserated over) while my DIL gives lovely, thoughtful gifts. My dream came true for the first couple of years of their marriage, but they recently had their first baby and apparently redistributed chores to accommodate for the extra workload. Now, my son buys gifts for his side of the family, and my DIL buys gifts for hers. So, her mother receives delightful gifts while I get grocery store checkout lane gift cards! I'd like to ask that she take over gift giving again. How do I do that in the most respectful way?

[Slate]

Jenée Desmond-Harris encourages the letter writer to communicate their gift preferences directly to their son. "I don't have a problem with you being materialistic!" she writes. "I have a problem with you having zero expectations of the man you raised, while you're completely comfortable making demands of a woman you met a few years ago." Read the rest of her answer.

Should I Tell My 8-Year-Old His Friend Won't Be At His Birthday Party Because Of His Mom's Absurd Demands?

My oldest Josh is very gregarious but has a few friends he's particularly close to. He's turning 8 soon, and after some back and forth we decided that he can have four friends at his birthday party. His birthday party is in two weeks and my husband and I have recently decided to swap out one of the guests. Josh's friend Ben is a sweet kid but his mom is… difficult. ...

Ben has seafood allergies, so his mother asked what we'd be serving in terms of food. None of it had seafood, but for the cake, we are going for German chocolate, Josh's favorite. Ben apparently dislikes coconut and his mom demanded that we change the cake to suit him. Ben is a very easy-going kid. I know different cakes are different, but at our favorite bakery the coconut is in the filling and frosting but not in the actual cake, and so if presented with a German chocolate cake I think Ben would just eat around it. She takes issue with the party, thinking it too sedentary (we're letting the kids play for a little bit in our backyard, watching an older kids' movie, and then having pizza and cake). She's acting snobbish about it too, bragging about how she held her son's birthday party at an indoor bouncy castle house (that's also expensive to rent out). She has also, more egregiously, referred to my daughter as the "ugly girl with glasses" — in front of her. She demanded to stay for the whole party and I definitely don't want her around my daughter for more than a minute at most.

As her demands escalate, she's been threatening to say that Ben can't attend unless all her demands are met. My husband and I plan on shrugging our shoulders and finding a different friend for Josh to invite. But I'm not sure how much to tell Josh about this. I don't want to make things awkward with his friend. I could easily imagine Ben's mom telling him that he couldn't come to the party because we were being difficult. ... I don't want to implicate Ben's mom, because I'm sure Josh will (either on purpose or accidentally) turn around and tell Ben that it was his mom's fault he couldn't come to the birthday party.

[Slate]

Allison Price points out that it's not necessary to uninvite Ben from the party. "Make it clear to this mom that Ben is welcome to come or not come and eat cake or not eat cake, but that that is the end of the negotiation," she writes. "As to what you say to Josh, I think you can be briefly honest without getting into the details." Read the rest of her answer.

How Can I Get The Married Man I Had An Affair With To Apologize For Cheating On Me?

I started having sex with a married co-worker. He cheated on me with other women. When I found out, I told him to tell me he was sorry because I didn't deserve it. He could have just left me alone. He won't apologize. What do I do? I'm really upset about it. He's married, living a single life.

[UExpress]

Abigail Van Buren counsels the letter writer to move on. "Why are you surprised that you are not the only other woman in his life?" she writes. "You are hardly the wronged woman; his wife is." Read the rest of her answer.

Would It Be Insulting To My Husband, Who Dislikes Dancing, If I Danced At A Concert Without Him?

In my youth, I was taught how to dance. I was also taught that your escort was always your partner for the first and last dances. It signaled to others that this is the person with whom you arrived, and with whom you are leaving.

I love dancing. My husband does not. It was all I could do to get him to move in circles for one song at my nieces' weddings. The dilemma is that we will soon be attending a concert by a band that encourages dancing in the aisles during shows. I would be more than happy to dance alone or with any partner, but I also want to prevent insult to my husband.

Would I be wrong to follow my love of dance and leave my husband in his seat for most of the concert?

[UExpress https://www.uexpress.com/life/miss-manners/2023/05/15/1]

Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin, the writers behind the Miss Manners persona, rule that dancing would not be an insult in this case. "Miss Manners would consider it an insult to your marriage to believe that he would begrudge you some innocent enjoyment that he does not care to share," they write. Read the rest of their answer.

Here's out last week's column.