There are too many excellent advice columns to keep up with, so we're committed to bringing you links to the best advice column questions and answers every week. Here's a roundup of the most interesting, thought-provoking and surprising questions that our favorite columnists addressed in recent days.

How Can I Convince My Parents That It's Fine If My Homeschooled 15-Year-Old Daughter Never Learns Basic Math?

Over the years my relationship with my parents has had many ups and downs. One consistent bone of contention has been my decision to homeschool my daughter. My parents are very invested in traditional markers of success (awards, degrees, etc.), whereas I have come to see those things as vapid and hollow. As part of our homeschooling choices, my daughter and I have rejected traditional curricula in favor of embracing her interests and modern technology. She has grown into a bright, articulate 15-year-old with a wide variety of interests. She has come by all her knowledge honestly, by pursuing her interests. She can quote classical and modern literature at length and puts a great deal of time and effort into producing online content. Her ability in this area has blown me away. She knows the ins and outs of content production in a way I will never grasp.

My parents have come to harp endlessly on what they call "gaps in her education." They want her to spend her time learning to multiply and divide and then move on to more complicated mathematics. She has no interest in doing that. I don’t see any point in forcing her to. She can add and subtract on her own and in today’s world people carry calculators everywhere they go. Normally I would just hold my boundaries with my parents and tell them to mind their own business. But last weekend they sat me down and explained that the trusts they have established for all their grandchildren are revocable and they plan to terminate my daughter's trust unless she enters an accredited school. I don't like being blackmailed and I don't feel that my daughter should be punished for choices I have made. I want to proceed in a way that preserves my parenting autonomy and maintains my daughter's inheritance. I'm looking for next steps with my parents to resolve this situation amicably.

[Slate]

Allison Price points out that understanding mathematical concepts is a basic core competency that any teen should have. "There is a difference between letting your daughter's interests drive her learning and letting them dictate it," she writes. "Perhaps in your effort to eschew the benchmarking and standardized curriculum, you have swung the pendulum a little too far?" Read the rest of her answer.

Is It Reasonable For My 15-Year-Old Daughter's Adult Boss To Pressure Her To Go On A 'Summer Girls Getaway'?

My daughter is 15 and has her first job. Supervisor messages everyone she is planning a team-building event which will be a Friday to Sunday summer girls getaway at an AirBnB somewhere. Supervisor's message goes on that she REALLY wants all her employees to come and she's giving this much notice since they'll need to clear their schedules and will each need to pay up to $400 on their own for the weekend.

The group my daughter works with is about 12 girls and women ranging in age from 15 to 28 — with just one 15-year-old, one 17-year-old, and then the majority over 21. We immediately said “no” and my daughter is on board with that decision. If the event happens and it's something she feels she absolutely cannot miss for her job, we said we could drive her to whatever day is most important and drive her back home at night.

This all seems crazy, right? The mix of adults and minors, having to pay for this on their own, having to spend three days of personal time with no compensation… none of this passes muster.

A little more background: The job is at a boutique aimed toward teen girls with things like dresses and jewelry. The boutique is owned and managed by older women, but this group of employees are all the young part-time workers and their supervisor is about mid-twenties. Up until now, they have been expected to go to a monthly "bonding" activity (like an escape room or dinner) on their own time and at their own expense.

One could suggest attendance at these things is voluntary, but there's always language like, "I would like everyone to be able to attend this… And I'm gonna repeat this, I REALLY want everyone to come, that's why I kinda want to start planning it now." So, not really voluntary? Very curious what your take on this is.

[Ask A Manager]

Alison Green encourages the letter writer to encourage their daughter to decline attending any work events she has to pay her own way for, including the retreat. "If this were genuinely a work-focused retreat, they would need to (a) pay for the attendees' time (since these are clearly non-exempt positions, not salaried exempt ones) and (b) cover their expenses," she writes. Read the rest of her answer.

How Can I Get My Pregnant Girlfriend To Completely Change Her Diet And Exercise Habits?

My girlfriend is pregnant, and we're ecstatic. I am committed to being an active father and partner and have been going with her to all her doctor's appointments, buying all the books, and doing all the online research for pregnancy to gather resources for her. The problem is this has always kind of been our dynamic, and now I can see what a big issue it is when I can't just do something for her.

Her doctor and all the research say she should be exercising during pregnancy, and she simply will not. She has always committed to a diet or exercise regimen and then given it up after getting bored. She's gotten into yoga, running, Zumba, Peloton, Pilates, weight lifting, etc., and bought equipment and cute outfits, only to never follow through. She has done everything from diets to cutting out food groups to juice cleanses. Nothing has ever stuck, and I just saw it as one of her quirks until now. She doesn't want to move more than the bed to the living room (she works from home) and only eats pre-made meals.

I have no problem doing all the cooking while she's pregnant, but she doesn't want my healthy meals, she wants to order Mcdonald's. She gets offended and tells me I can't tell her what to do with her body, but she chose to be pregnant, and now her choices are affecting our baby. She keeps trying to make it seem like I'm being the jerk who doesn't want his girlfriend to gain weight, but I know and am looking forward to weight gain, since this means the baby is growing and thriving. I am not talking about weight, or appearance at all, but the baby's health.

I tell her this all the time, but she tells me I can't tell her how to be pregnant, but also that this baby is as much mine as it is hers and I need to be there for her and our kid, in the same breath. How do I get her to be healthy for our baby when she's even less motivated to be healthy than before?

[Slate]

Emily McCombs observes that diet and exercise don't necessarily correlate with whether a pregnancy is healthy. "Try to remember that most women have a lot of experience being told what we should be doing with our bodies," she writes. "Instead of coming from a place of judgment or trying to control her, start by listening and attempting to understand why she may be struggling or disinterested in meeting the guidelines suggested by her doctor." Read the rest of her answer.

How Can I Make My Family Understand Why I Didn’t Welcome A Surprise Birthday Party While I'm Caring For My Eight-Week-Old?

I recently turned 35. I also recently (eight weeks ago) had our second baby, with our older child being 15 months. Things are a bit chaotic between an exclusively breastfed (won't take bottles) newborn and energetic toddler, so when anyone asked me what I wanted for my birthday, I would tell them nothing, I just wanted to have a quiet weekend with no extra events and a chance to relax as much as possible/realistic. My best friend handled it perfectly — she dropped off a basket of my favorite snacks at the front door and went on her way. My husband was also great, he completely took over all childcare tasks he could for the weekend and took our toddler on an adventure for most of the day Saturday so it would be quieter at home.

My actual birthday comes on Sunday and mid-morning, my husband gets called into work. ... Before he went in, he ordered a bunch of food from my favorite restaurant for lunch and set up for his parents to drop it off, then leave. When they brought the food, they said they could leave, but if I wanted they could get my toddler down for a nap and I could go do something or take a nap. Since the weather was so nice and our dog has been a bit neglected since the baby, I decided to pack up the baby in a carrier and go for a walk with him and the dog.

When I got back, there were cars all along the street in front of our house and I recognized my mother among them. Walking back into the house, my in-laws, my mother, a neighbor and three of my husband's aunt/uncle pairs were there to surprise me for my birthday. Within 15 minutes two of my aunts/uncles had also shown up. My in-laws had decided to throw something together when my husband called to tell them he had to go to work and ask them to pick up the food because they "couldn't imagine me spending my birthday alone."

I was angry, to say the least. I was showered and in sweatpants and just wanted to sit on the couch, feed the baby, and rest while my toddler finished her nap. I told them I appreciated them dropping everything to come over, but I really just needed to rest and asked them to please leave. A few left, the others made some objections about not wanting me to be alone, wanting me to have a good birthday, and wanting to see the kids. I more forcefully told them to leave as this wasn't what I wanted, it was what they decided I should want. The final straw for me was when my toddler woke up from her nap just over halfway through because people were being so loud. I grabbed the jackets, shoes, and car keys of the people left (my in-laws, mother and one aunt), put them in their hands and basically shoved them out the door as they told me they could stay and get my toddler back down and take the baby so I could rest. I yelled that if they just hadn't been here, I would have been able to relax just fine as I shut and locked the door.

The worst part? They'd eaten a bunch of the food my husband had ordered. The next day my mother called and I thought she was going to apologize, but instead she told me how rude I was to treat them all like that when they were just trying to do something nice for me. This is not the first time that the much more social people in my life have decided I must not be telling the truth about my much more introverted ways, and I am getting very tired of it. Short of moving to a faraway town where so many families aren't local, any suggestions on how to get them to listen to me?

[Slate]

Jenée Desmond-Harris congratulates the letter writer on how they handled the surprise party. "Please know that you aren't falling short in any way when it comes to communicating your preferences," she writes. "I mean, people with any social graces at all would have listened when you said you needed to rest and apologized profusely when they woke your toddler up." Read the rest of her answer.

Isn't It Poor Form When My Wife Orders Whatever She Wants At Restaurants, Which We Can Absolutely Afford?

My family is upper-middle class. I love to dine out and at my instigation, we do it often.

I am also always seeking value in whatever I purchase, including restaurant meals. Bargains gravitate to me.

Our most recent meal at a fine restaurant came about when the restaurant was offering a weekday promotion of a 10-ounce strip steak with side dish for $19.95, considerably less than the normal price.

My wife ordered a 9-ounce bleu filet, which was $40.75 — one of the most expensive items on the menu.

When the check came, she said she was waiting to see if I would have a heart attack, indicating that she knew her dish was pricey.

My wife worked as an accountant before we were married. I am semi-retired and manage our investments and shop for the family.

We do quite well, financially, but this is a common pattern for us. My wife said that she does not look at prices and that if we are going out to dinner, she is going to order what she wants.

Although her expensive meals are not going to take food off of our table, it seems like poor form to me.

Your take?

[Tribune Content Agency]

Amy Dickinson opines that an obsession with prices can be annoying. "If you were able to cede some control, including your wife as a partner in your household decision-making, then she would be less likely to yank your chain when she has the chance," she writes. "You two obviously need to talk about this." Read the rest of her answer.

Is It More Polite To Leave A Concert At Intermission Or In The Middle Of A Song?

My husband and I purchased tickets and went to a concert. When we arrived at the hall, there were only three others in attendance. The performance was awful (thus why nobody was there) and we debated what to do.

I wanted to leave at intermission, whereas my husband thought that would be rude. He decided to get up and leave in the middle of a song in the second half of the concert, thinking it was more polite.

What would you advise in this situation? We didn't want to be rude to the performers, but also didn't want to waste our precious time enduring an awful concert.

[UExpress]

Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin, the writers behind the Miss Manners persona, side with the letter writer. "A discreet dash for the door at intermission would surely be less hurtful than watching from the stage as 40 percent of the audience zips up their coats and marches up the aisle," they write. Read the rest of their answer.

Check out last week's column, about a "major misunderstanding" between sisters, graphic text messages from a dementia patient, and a grandmother who criticizes her granddaughter's body shape. here.