There are too many excellent advice columns to keep up with, so we're committed to bringing you links to the best advice column questions and answers every week. Here's a roundup of the most interesting, thought-provoking and surprising questions that our favorite columnists (and subreddits) addressed in recent days.

Am I Wrong For Seeing No Problem With My Teenage Daughter’s Habit Of Making Her Basketball Teammate Cry?

I’m a dad to a 14-year-old girl who plays on a high-level club basketball team, and yesterday we were pulled aside by her coach who accused her of bullying another girl on the team.

At first, I was shocked because that’s not like my daughter to behave that way, but when I dug deeper, I learned she was just trying to motivate one of the lazier girls on the team. My daughter is fiery and competitive, but she’s not a bully. I played college basketball, and I dealt with a lot of teammates who would get in my face if I wasn’t performing well, and I didn’t complain about being bullied. Apparently, my daughter has reduced this girl to tears on multiple occasions, but my kid just wants to win. I feel like her teammate needs to toughen up a bit or else the real world will eat her alive. My daughter is a great kid who gets along well with others, but she’s also very competitive. I don’t want her to change because I think she will become a great CEO one day. Am I wrong for thinking my daughter isn’t the problem?

[Slate]

Doyin Richards rules that it is unacceptable to yell at others in an attempt to motivate them. “To answer your question, it is wrong to think your daughter isn’t the problem here, because she clearly is,” he writes. “You may be the problem as well if you think it’s OK to judge a child by calling her ‘lazy.’” Read the rest of his answer.

Was I Wrong To Put A Life-Sized Cardboard Cutout Of The Rock In My Bedroom To Catch My Sister-In-Law Snooping?

My (32f) SIL(43f) is super nosey…

At my house, the guest bathroom is partially shared with the master bedroom… Basically, you can get into our bedroom through the bathroom without going through the main door.

So, when she comes over, she would sometimes take just a bit too long in the bathroom. During maybe the 3rd or 4th time, I happened to be walking by the bathroom and heard 2 doors close. I asked her if she'd was looking for something in the bedroom, and if I could help her find it. She replied with "no, why would I go in your bedroom?" And then changed the subject.

The next time she was going to come over, I set something small behind the bedroom door, so I could see if it had been opened by the small item being pushed back. Later, I could see that it had been. So, for me, confirming that she had been snooping again. I asked directly if she'd been in our bedroom, and she said something like "I don't care what's in your bedroom, get over yourself." So yesterday, SIL and BIL came over. But before that, I ordered a full sized cutout of Dwayne Johnson, which I placed in our bedroom, facing the bathroom door.

About an hour into the visit, she heads into the bathroom. Very shortly after, there's a scream, a thud, and a door slam.

She came out, clearly angry. She'd been quite startled and slammed her upper arm into the door frame while turning away from the cutout. BIL made it worse be asking "well why were you in their bedroom?"

But she didn't answer, and they left. She's posted on facebook that she has a big bruise on her arm, as a result of my "nasty prank." People are saying she could have been hurt worse and that she's too old to be the victim of a childish prank. I feel badly that she was hurt. It wasn't my intention. But I might be the asshole because I still think it was hilarious.

[Reddit via Twitter]

The commenters on the r/AmItheAsshole subreddit side with the letter writer. “Hey, you had two break-ins to your bedroom, so you got The Rock to provide security,” one of them writes. “He caught the offender. End of problem.” Read the rest of their answers.

Should I Propose To My Girlfriend Of Seven Years Even Though The Idea Gives Me An Anxiety Attack?

I've been with my girlfriend for seven years and lived with her for four. She wants to get married and have kids. For the past three years, I've promised to propose every six months, but when the time comes, I back out. I even went ring shopping but couldn't pull the trigger. Although I want to get married and have kids one day, just the discussions of such a commitment give me serious anxiety to the point where I cannot breathe. I want us to travel the world before tying the knot, but she's too attached to her job. My family says I am too young to get married at 27 and that if I need counseling now, before even proposing, things will only get worse when we have a mortgage and kids. My therapist says contemplating marriage should be exciting and happy, but all I feel is trapped. I love her, and living with her is fun, but marrying her feels like doom. She says I am stringing her along without a timeline as she is pushing 30, but I'm honest that I cannot guarantee if and when I'll be ready. Do I propose with a five-year engagement?

[Creators]

Annie Lane strongly discourages the letter writer from proposing. “Your relationship has reached an impasse,” she writes. “I'd recommend couples therapy, in addition to continuing your individual counseling, to confront your commitment issues and see if there's hope for building a future you're both excited about.” Read the rest of her answer.

Should I Talk To An Employee Who Repeatedly Told Her Coworker That He Needs To Forgive The Person Who Murdered His Relative?

I'm wondering when a manager should get involved in a personal dispute between two employees that has nothing to do with work.

"Rob" is the relative of someone who was murdered. He changed after it. He lives alone, doesn't celebrate holidays, and wants to go through the motions and be left alone. He has been vocal in his personal (not work) life about there being no justice for victims. "Jane" is a newer employee. I don't know how she found out about Rob's family because he doesn't talk about it at work, but she thinks he needs to forgive the perpetrator and fight for prisoner rights to fix the prison system. And she told him this a few times. Rob now avoids Jane as much as possible. Other employees are enabling Rob by dealing with Jane on his behalf.

My conundrum is that all the work is getting done; Rob has not been hostile to Jane and he just avoids her, and no one has complained or brought forward concerns about any of it. As a manager, should I be dealing with Rob's situation or should I leave this alone because it is a personal conflict?

[Inc.]

Alison Green urges the letter writer to tell Jane that her comments to Rob were unacceptable. “Don't fall into the trap of thinking that personal conflicts are off-limits to you as a manager,” she writes. “If they impact your employees' work, work environment, or overall satisfaction at work, you can get involved.” Read the rest of her answer.

How Can I Get My Sister To Stop Posting About My Miscarriage On Social Media?

I had a miscarriage three weeks ago. My husband and I are gutted. Still, I was relieved (if you can call it that) that we lost the pregnancy early enough that very few people knew about it — just my mother, my sister and my best friend. I thought: At least we can grieve in private. But my sister is telling people about my miscarriage, even posting about it on social media. She says she has the right to post whatever she wants, particularly if the medical care I received may be threatened in some states. I am furious that she is broadcasting my tragedy! I want her to stop, but I don’t have the strength to fight with her now. What should I do?

[The New York Times]

Philip Galanes recommends enlisting a friend or family member to tell the sister that she’s jeopardizing her relationship with the letter writer. “There is nothing special about social media or political debate that gives her the right to violate your privacy this way,” he writes. “Let’s hope we can help her see that.” Read the rest of her answer.

Am I Selfish For Wanting My Brother To Move Out Of My Home Five Years After He Moved In To Get Back On His Feet After His Divorce?

My brother is newly divorced.

After he and his wife split up, I let him stay with me so he could save money, sort things out and receive some emotional support. He is a good guy and he pays half of the bills. He pays them late — but he pays them.

He is also sloppy, and I am constantly cleaning up after him. He is aware of my displeasure with cleaning up after an adult, but he seems not to care.

He has lived with me for close to five years now — and I need my space. We are both middle-aged and divorced. I’m an empty nester and want to live alone.

I am annoyed by everything he does, but I feel awful for feeling that way.

Amy, there are times when I don't want to come home because I know I will encounter a mess. I yearn for space and time alone.

Am I being selfish and uncaring for being annoyed just by his presence?

[The Washington Post]

Amy Dickinson points out that it’s inaccurate to describe the brother as “newly divorced” and encourages the letter to set a timeline for his departure. “He is a middle-aged man living with a sister who treats him exactly the way he wants to be treated: like a child,” she writes. “It sounds like such a good and comfortable situation for him that of course he doesn’t want to leave!” Read the rest of her answer.

For more good advice column questions, check out last week's roundup.