There are too many excellent advice columns to keep up with, so we're committed to bringing you links to the best advice column questions and answers every week. Here's a roundup of the most interesting, thought-provoking and surprising questions that our favorite columnists addressed in recent days.

Am I Entitled To Use My Wife's And Children's Toothbrushes Because I Can't Remember Which One Is Mine?

We have three children under five, and we all store our toothbrushes in a bin next to the sink. There are a number of child sized toothbrushes and three adult toothbrushes. I don't know which is mine, so I just grab whichever toothbrush is handy and use it. On rare occasions it's been a child's toothbrush (I'm curious how the bristles feel), but mostly I grab a random large toothbrush and sometimes grab my wife's toothbrush. She objects. Resolve this dispute and save my marriage! Help!

[Defector]

Drew Magary advises the letter writer to write the name of each toothbrush's owner on the toothbrushes in Sharpie. "Do you like your wife being mad at you? No," he writes. "Is there an easy way to prevent it? Yes: the one I just outlined up above." Read the rest of his answer.

Should I Keep Defending My Daughter When My Wife Calls Her Chosen Nickname Is 'Trashy'?

I and my wife have two daughters. Our 15-year-old's given name is honestly something I would change if I had the option at this point. It's long, stuffy, and the kind of thing that you would expect to see in young adult fantasy novels. Because of this, she goes by "Maggie" (a much shorter nickname) instead of her birth name. This irritates my wife to no end. Maggie's name had sentimental value to her, and she is mad that Maggie is "dishonoring" us by going by a "trashy nickname." She fights with Maggie all the time over this very minor issue, and she won't just leave the child alone.

I've told my wife that Maggie's name is Maggie's choice, and we don't really have a say in that. But my wife won't stop hounding me over this totally basic thing. Do I just let it go or is there another way I can advocate for Maggie's autonomy?

[Slate]

Nicole Chung encourages the letter writer to tell their wife that her treatment of Maggie could permanently damage the mother-daughter relationship. "You can refuse to debate this with her any longer, since her position is completely unreasonable and ultimately untenable," she writes. "But continue to call Maggie by the name she's chosen, and stick up for her when your wife attacks her over it." Read the rest of her answer.

Should I Take A Break From My Engagement To Find Out If The Sex Worker I'm Sleeping With Is Open To A Serious Relationship?

I've been in a somewhat steady relationship for about six years, and we've been engaged for about six months. Things were kind of rocky the first couple years of this relationship (on again, off again) but for the last few years we have been together, things have been great. We are like best friends. One big problem: we don't have sex or any kind of romance. I try, and it is just never returned...

I started looking elsewhere — including escorts. Nothing ever serious, just some fun. I can afford easily afford this with my income (I make a lot of money). I know it would devastate my fiancée if she found out. She's also a very jealous person so I could see the situation becoming very unstable if she ever found out.

Things have gotten much more complicated recently as I've started to become more intimate with one of the escorts. She has been pretty deeply involved in the adult industry for the last few years (really, once OnlyFans/Covid ramped up). She lives in a different city a few hours away, and we see each other seven to 10 days a month, go on trips, and talk/text a lot.

I am helping her financially (again, this is a drop in the bucket to me), but haven't asked her to stop her work. But if I were to ever be serious with her, she would have to.

I'm feeling emotionally connected to this person, even though I know this is probably foolish. I can't help but think how much time I enjoy spending with her, but also feel like I have been kind of sucked into a sugar daddy situation. We likely do genuinely care about each other, but I know she has had similar relationships that ended quickly when she was no longer being financially supported.

But at the same time, can I get married to someone who I know is not sexually attracted to me? I feel like that usually happens much later on in a marriage, and that going into a marriage like this is an awful idea…

I feel like the prudent thing to do would be to end both relationships and work on myself and try to find something that works on all fronts. But that sounds exhausting, especially when I have two relationships right now that both seem like they could work if a couple things were fixed or if more commitment was shown.

Calling off the engagement sounds brutal. If I ask for some time apart during our engagement, should I spend some of that time with the other woman to see if things could ever progress to the point where we could be more than sugar daddy relationship?

What should I do?

[Boston.com]

Meredith Goldstein strongly urges the letter writer to end his engagement. "This is is not a 'let's take a break' situation," she writes. "You know you're incompatible in some of the most important ways. That's that." Read the rest of her answer.

Should I Just Put Up With My Colleague's Frequent Comments On My Clothing And Figure?

I have a colleague, Brenda, who is a lot older than me and tends to comment on my appearance. A lot. Usually, it's that she thinks I'm dressed too hot or too cold for the weather, but the other day she commented on my dress's "plunging neckline" (it wasn't) and how flattering it was, and that I should show off my figure more often.

I know she's coming from a motherly place and probably thinks she's flattering me, but I find it not only annoying, but uncomfortable. How do I get her to stop without alienating her? She's kind of moody to begin with. Should I just suck it up? I just can't imagine saying anything about someone's appearance other than "love that outfit!"

[Inc.]

Alison Green rules that Brenda's latest comments crossed a line. "Even before the latest comment, it would been perfectly fine for you to say, 'You comment on my clothes a lot, and I'd rather you didn't,'" she writes. "You can definitely say that now." Read the rest of her answer.

Should I Continue To Make Weekly Dinners For My Husband's Family Where I'm Expected To Babysit Three Children Without Any Help?

My husband and I host the weekly family dinner ever since my in-laws sold their house for a retirement community. We are the only ones with the space to entertain since we have a lovely enclosed deck, grill, and fire pit. My sister-in-law is going through a divorce. My sympathy is gone because she uses family dinner to dump her three children, ages 3 to 9, and go out and party. My in-laws both use walkers and can't really watch the baby, let alone keep the two older kids from acting out. I am running ragged trying to cook and keep the kids from killing themselves. My husband usually works right up to dinner in his home office so I am left to shoulder the burden. This wasn't a problem when both the parents were there to parent. But my brother-in-law is off screwing his coworker while my SIL wants to get her own hot and heavy in.

Recently, I was trying to cook while holding the baby when the other two kids got into a fight in the upstairs den and the younger one hit his face on the glass coffee table and lost a tooth. It was a baby tooth, but the screams scared us all to death and my mother-in-law nearly fell trying to get to the stairs. My SIL decided to ream me out for not "properly" watching her kids. I decided to say I was "sorry" and the solution was her kids wouldn't be over unless she was there to watch. And that put the fox in the hen house. Everyone is upset with me, especially my SIL who is sulking about my lack of support. My in-laws say they will miss the kids, and my husband thinks I am going too far. I am ready to end it all with the dinners.

[Slate]

Jenée Desmond-Harris recommends that the letter writer's husband take on more responsibility for hosting. "It's actually pretty ridiculous that there is another able-bodied adult in the home and everyone is just going 'I guess there's no way to have the children here because Mrs. Dinner Disaster won't babysit all three of them while simultaneously cooking,'" she writes. "What the hell?" Read the rest of her answer.

Shouldn't My Cousin Follow Through On Her Dinner Invitations, Instead Of Canceling On Me 90% Of The Time?

I have a cousin who calls almost weekly to invite me over for dinner during the upcoming weekend — but nine times out of 10, the invitation gets rescinded or canceled.

After I accept, she says she'll call later in the week to confirm in case she gets busy. (I don't understand the need to confirm, since I've already accepted, and she's the one inviting me.)

Usually, she'll call on the day of the dinner and give some excuse: She and her husband are tired from a late party the night before; her daughter is having a bad day and doesn't feel like company; they had a busy day and won't have time to cook; or they invited several other couples over and there won't be room for me.

Sometimes there is no excuse, just: "Sorry, it doesn't work for us." Often, she'll ask me to come over the next night instead — and most of the time, that's canceled, too (once, when I was five minutes from their house after a 45-minute drive there).

Other than something serious and unexpected, like an illness or a house fire, isn't an invitation an invitation, period? And is confirmation necessary?

Note that I've stopped accepting her invitations, and now thank her and regretfully cite other plans or a big project at work. The invitations keep coming, but now with a tinge of annoyance.

[UExpress]

Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin, and Jacobina Martin offer the letter writer a script if the cousin asks about the letter writer's declined invitations. "I miss seeing you, but always feel like such a burden when you have to make last-minute cancellations," they suggest saying. "Once your schedule calms down and you feel certain you can make a commitment, please do let me know." Read the rest of their answer.

Read last week's column here.