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what were they thinking?

Grading Every 2023-2024 Nike NBA City Edition Jersey

Jared Russo
Jared Russo
Grading Every 2023-2024 Nike NBA City Edition Jersey
It seems as though the league and Nike have run out of good ideas, even though capitalism requires them to pump out new designs every year.
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In what has now become an annual tradition, the NBA and Nike have teamed up to create new unique, alternate uniforms for every team to honor their city. These "city edition" jerseys are mostly bad, get dunked on for being bad and show the endless cycle and greed of corporations to turn everything into events they can monetize like clockwork, feeding upon fans' nostalgia and FOMO.

I did this last year, but some of the teams didn't participate. This year, all 30 squads get letter grades. And most of them are mid. There is no criteria other than whatever I deem appropriate to comment on. I am not an expert on fashion, nor should I be, but I do watch a lot of basketball and have strong opinions.


Atlanta Hawks: D+


The L in ATL looks like a "1," and these are not the Hawks' colors. Bad, very bad. Try again next year.


Boston Celtics: B-


Stop putting yellow or gold on Celtics jerseys. If there's one team in the NBA that should never have their jerseys messed with, it's the Celtics. Like, we get it, you won a lot of championships back in the '60s when there were ten teams and only two good players going up against delivery drivers and mechanics. No one cares.


Brooklyn Nets: C+


I'm torn. On the one hand, the colors and graffiti aesthetic are fun! On the other hand, the font is weird and these are the New Jersey Nets we're talking about, so they get massive L's on a nightly basis regardless of what they wear.


Charlotte Hornets: A


These are indeed clean AF. Depending on the night, these might actually be an upgrade over their regular uniforms. Love the bold solid use of color and the font. Just really simple and effective.


Chicago Bulls: B-


These are neither mad nor that interesting. Meh. It's the usual jersey but with Chicago down vertically. Not impressed, not thrilled.


Cleveland Cavaliers: B


I've seen "The Land" jerseys from Cleveland before, which is a nickname I've only heard once when LeBron came back to the team the second time. But these would almost be great if not for the fact that they try and do a little too much all at once. It's too cute by a half, maybe the trim around the edges puts it over the top.


Dallas Mavericks: B+


These are cool, especially the font and baby blue. Good job Leon Bridges, these don't suck (like most of these other ones).


Denver Nuggets: C


If it wasn't for the gigantic number on the bottom, these would be phenomenal. But we get it, that's how many feet are in a mile. And you're the mile high city. Awful decision, too many numbers on the jerseys, confusing as hell.


Detroit Pistons: C-


These are NOT what the Bad Boy Pistons wore. Don't pretend otherwise.


Golden State Warriors: B


My girlfriend said that these remind her of Hufflepuff, like if that Hogwarts house had a varsity basketball team, that's what these would be. And what a slap in the face to all the fans in Oakland, who used to get Oak Town jerseys thrown their way. All of those fans are going to defect to the Las Vegas team whenever the league expands.


Houston Rockets: C-


These are great, except there is only one problem: What is H-Town and has anyone in Texas ever actually said that before in their lives? Yeah, I didn't think so.


Indiana Pacers: C


If the Pacers weren't the most boring team in the league year-in and year-out, these would play better. But the coolness of the design and colors do NOT match the fact that these are the Pacers we're talking about, so it just clashes with how bland Indy is. No amount of hip Nike executives can convince me these work. Eight teams should have drafted Tyrese Haliburton.


LA Clippers: B


Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.


LA Lakers: C-


The Lakers used to run the triangle offense under Phil Jackson. Get it? The letters are in a triangle? These are hideous.


Memphis Grizzlies: D+


squidward future


Miami Heat: B+


Heat Culture. Get it? The two fonts should match, IMHO, but otherwise I guess these are fine and inoffensive.


Milwaukee Bucks: B-


I think if you let this one sink in, it works. Just let the weird space background take over, and the cream colored stripe across the chest wash over your senses. It's like a seeing eye picture, your eyes need time to adjust to it. A funky fun twist on their usual dark green vibe.


Minnesota Timberwolves: B+


People love this jersey, and I get it. But other than the cool ice effect, where it transitions from white to blue, the rest of it is just blah. Not bad blah! Just blah from the number down.


New Orleans Pelicans: D-


This is the worst way to honor Mardi Gras.


New York Knicks: A-


I get why some people might think the 3D "New York" is bad, but otherwise this is a very slick and classy jersey. Doesn't mess with the colors, looks traditional, I'm a big fan. And this comes from a Knicks fan, so I'm happy. Not enough to buy one, but enough to say this is easily in the top third of these new jerseys.


OKC Thunder: C


Eh.


Orlando Magic: B-


Why does the Orlando Magic brass hate their original pinstriped jerseys that Penny and Shaq wore? These are a pale imitation of them, but with a big goofy star where a letter would be. And the blue is darker than it should be! Come on, guys.


Philadelphia 76ers: B-


Love the "City of Brotherly Love" but the rest leaves me cold. I just don't have any real thoughts on the rest, it's too dark and modern and weird for my liking but at least they didn't mess with the colors, that would have been an automatic F.


Phoenix Suns: B+


The league always does Spanish language jerseys for Hispanic Heritage Month, and if you didn't tell me these were City Edition jerseys I wouldn't have noticed. That's how well it blends into the normal Suns aesthetic, so I'm a fan.


Portland Trailblazers: A-


The plaid plays.


San Antonio Spurs: A-


These are SO weird, and so out of left field that I respect the big swing they took. I think it works because of the '70s sitcom vibe in that first photo, and I like the font and the clean look. Are the colors correct? No, but then again I want back that paintbrush era of Spurs jerseys, and this kind of taps into it. One of the only times I'm okay with the team going away from their usual primary colors (or in the case of the Spurs, lack of color since black and white are shades).


Sacramento Kings: A


The Kansas City Kings/Royals had a cool red white and blue design. The font, the logo, it all was very fresh for the time. And then the Sacramento Kings went and made everything edgelord purple, but this is so fabulous it might need to be their regular jerseys from now on.


Toronto Raptors: F


What is this baby poop color? Who came up with these? Why aren't we seeing more of the old school Raptor mascot on purple jerseys? Heinous, a crime against humanity.


Utah Jazz: A+++


Make these the normal jerseys. Get rid of the neon yellow. Make these official, they should have never gone away from the Stockton Malone era ones. Never.


Washington Wizards: F-


These might be the worst jerseys I've ever seen. The medieval times font could work, in a vacuum, but I have no idea who vomited up this assortment of colors and wacky patterns. The DMV should riot over these, since last year the Wizards had the best jerseys! How can you go from cherry blossom pink to this?

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