Another year, another Super Bowl and another crop of corporations who want to direct their marketing campaigns straight into our eyeballs with explosions and celebrities.
The criteria for this list is thus: there is none. At the bottom is our long list of runners-up, which are mostly duds and weren't in serious consideration for the top ten. And if you want to see who advertises the most at the Super Bowls, here's a visualization showing its biggest spenders over the years.
10. Toyota with Eli Manning
This isn't showy or clever — it's just one single joke that either lands tremendously hard for NFL fanatics, or does nothing for you. And it's always a pleasure to see the New England Patriots get taken down a peg, those dirty cheaters.
9. Etsy 'Gift Mode'
This is Etsy's very first Super Bowl ad, and it's a short, fun and punchy little commercial with a cute ending. We love seeing the French happy. Who doesn't love cheese?
8. Bud Light with Peyton Manning
The only reason this makes the list, other than that it's clever and has a lot of tiny jokes that amuse, is that the man who plays the Bud Light Genie also plays the BTK Killer on "Mindhunter." Talk about range.
7. M&M's with Dan Marino
The in-jokes for football fans are delicious, but this will mainly be remembered for Scarlett Johansson. Sorry, Bruce Smith, any commercial with Scarlett means she gets all the credit.
6. Reese's with Will Arnett (as the narrator)
Those Reese's look absolutely mouth-watering. Anyways, this ad taps into the long and storied tradition of making a commercial with one funny quote that people can yell at work the next day. "Wazzup!" or "YES!" are memorable and stupid enough to catch on — it's a winning formula.
5. Mountain Dew Baja Blast with Aubrey Plaza
Mountain Dew Baja Blast is the best flavor of that brand of soda and Aubrey Plaza is America's sarcastic, sardonic and deadpan sweetheart. This commercial combines those two great things.
4. Popeyes with Ken Jeong
Ken Jeong is a very polarizing comedian. Either you love him or hate him. But considering the amount of people who watch "The Masked Singer" and are hardcore "Community" fans, there should be enough love for this ad. This is a funny bit, and Popeyes is the bomb, so you can feel guilt-free liking this one as much as we did.
3. Skechers with Mr. T and Tony Romo
It was a shock to us that Mr. T was still around to film this, and it was good to see him carry this commercial on his back. It's a funny premise and it's done very well. It also doesn't overstay its welcome. Good job, Tony Romo.
2. Uber Eats with Jennifer Aniston
There are a lot of celebs in this, and that doesn't always mean the commercial ends up being a winner, but this one does happen to be pretty good. Plus, you get the fun "Friends" reunion, as well as a guy who showed up to work without pants on.
1. BMW with Christopher Walken
They got Ashley Park to do a Chris Walken impression. This immediately makes you want to do a Chris Walken impersonation the moment it ends, and that is the best test of a truly great commercial. Please give Chris more paychecks, he's the best.
Runners-up:
