A Barstool Sports Blogger Who Got Conspiratorial About The Tiger Woods Car Accident, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
I'M READY FOR MY CLOSEUP, MR. TELLER
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Every day somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.

This week's characters include a guy who'll narc on his friends for sneaking snacks into the movies, a Barstool Sports blogger who got conspiratorial about the Tiger Woods car accident, a Twitch streamer who should've left his tweet in drafts, a fashion photographer that phoned it in and a guy who was way too sentimental about Mr. Potato Head.

Saturday

C.A. Shelton

The character: C.A. Shelton, self-appointed snack police officer.

The plot: On Saturday, Shelton quipped that "Sneaking snacks into the movie theater is top shelf tacky." He added that it was so tacky, he wouldn't be your friend anymore if he caught you doing it.

The repercussion: Shelton's tweet got ratioed to the nth degree by movie fans who revealed that they loved to snack but didn't want to pay exorbitant prices at the concession stand.

Despite the drubbing he took, Shelton doubled down on his hot take.

Tuesday

Kevin 'KFC' Clancy

The character: Kevin "KFC" Clancy, a Barstool Sports blogger. 

The plot: On Tuesday, Tiger Woods was involved in a single-car crash that left him with serious leg injuries. Shortly after the news broke, Clancy tweeted, "Hoax city, population 1: Tiger Woods."

He also wrote a follow-up tweet saying, "Hoax city, population 2: Tiger woods, and the LA Sheriffs dept," and later tweeted that other sports stars had similarly gotten their legs broken in car accidents.

The repercussion: Clancy's tweets were thoroughly excoriated, with one sports publication declaring his initial tweet the "Scumbag Tweet Of The Year."

Clancy later acknowledged his tweets were in bad taste and deleted them.

Dishonorable Mention

Nokokopuffs

The character: Nokokopuffs, a popular Twitch streamer and guy who doesn't cook.

The plot: Nokokopuffs shared that he had recently hired a personal chef to cook his meals, also revealing that he used to spend $1,400 a month on fast food.

The repercussion: Nokokopuffs' weird flex about his costly fast food habit got him ratioed by many people who criticized his budgeting and called on him to learn how to cook.

Wednesday

The character: Juergen Teller, a photographer for W Magazine.

The plot: This week, W Magazine introduced its 2021 Best Performances issue featuring photos of the stars whose performances "left us in awe" over the past year.

After W Magazine released photos of the cover stars, the internet suddenly realized that Teller might be phoning it in with his seemingly amateurish photography and baffling use of a tree.

The repercussion: The lo-fi nature of the photo shoot drew much flak, with critics declaring that "The W Stands For Why?" and ranking cover stars by how much pain they're in. Netizens proceeded to gleefully drag Teller and his celebrity photos.

Other snarky responses included famously bad celeb photos with captions declaring that Teller had taken them.

Thursday

Colton Duncan

The character: Colton Duncan, president of the Texas State College Republicans and field associate for Americans for Prosperity.

The plot: On Thursday, Hasbro announced Mr. Potato Head would become gender neutral to "promote gender equality and inclusion." While quite a few people complained on social media, Colton Duncan had perhaps the most, er, memorable response with a photoshopped image of Mr. Potato Head walking up a stairway to heaven filled with "Cancelled Characters" (and Gina Carano).

The repercussion: The tweet, which was apparently made in complete earnestness, went viral, with netizens calling it unintentionally hilarious.


Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which includes a US Senator who left his constituents and his dog in the cold and more.

Did we miss a main character from this week? Please send tips to [email protected].

James Crugnale is an associate editor at Digg.com.

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