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Grading Every Rookie's Fashion, Look, Drip, Suit, And/Or Style From The 2022 NBA Draft

Grading Every Rookie's Fashion, Look, Drip, Suit, And/Or Style From The 2022 NBA Draft
A man who has no business commenting on how others look decides to give letter grades to all of the recently drafted NBA players and their colorful suits. Written by a disgruntled Knicks fan.
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This is an extremely silly exercise, and none of the following should be taken seriously. If you simply want to see the players and what they wore to the NBA Draft at the Barclays Center in Brooklyn, then here are some more high quality shots of more suits that I do not approve of. From players I wish played for my stupid team, the New York Knicks. They traded out of the #11 slot for some mediocre first round draft picks next year, got nothing for this year, and then gave one of them away to clear $9 million extra dollars, which is an amateur move. All on the premise of paying Jalen Brunson in free agency, which is a collegiate move. They hired his whole family, practically, just to get him. The whole plan is bad and I disagree with it. Anyways, fashion reviews! Here we go:

Number 1 Pick Paolo Banchero - Orlando Magic

This is a mix of what Gene Wilder wore in Willy Wonka and those motion capture suits with the little ping pong balls attached all over the place. Just a terrible outfit, hate it, looks goofy and will not hold up under scrutiny in one year let alone the next twenty.

Wasn't Drafted By The Knicks. Grade: F


Number 2 Pick Chet Holmgren - Oklahoma City Thunder

Don't understand the chain, will never get that. I do like the dice, because he said he "bets on himself" which is a clever line. I like his slacks, his shirt, the jacket not so much. Is that velvet? Something about the material throws me off.

Wasn't Drafted By The Knicks. Grade: F


Number 3 Pick Jabari Smith Jr. - Houston Rockets

Why is his ankle showing? Can't people find fitted clothes for extremely tall men? I like the pictures in the jacket, lots of players have historically done that. I suspect he wore blue and not red because he thought he was going first to Orlando. I like the tie though!

Wasn't Drafted By The Knicks. Grade: F


Number 4 Pick Keegan Murray - Sacramento Kings

Again, are the youths not wearing socks? Why are the pants stopping short before they get to the shoe? Other than that, a very traditional suit that makes it seem like he could moonlight as a guy who does taxes. Very '80s Wall Street look with the gray double breasted power suit.

Wasn't Drafted By The Knicks. Grade: F


Number 5 Pick Jaden Ivey - Detroit Pistons

Don't like the black and gray combo. Don't like the velvet jacket if the whole outfit isn't velvet too. The bow tie is risky, but I like it. The hat being on, weird mix with the bow tie.

Wasn't Drafted By The Knicks. Grade: F


Number 6 Pick Bennedict Mathurin - Indiana Pacers

Don't love the boots, but I do love the design and color of the entire piece. It's a nice set, and the only thing I still don't get is the giant chain, but you're probably sensing a trend with these letter grades by now. Unfortunately, this might be my favorite outfit of the night, but since the Pacers took him...

Wasn't Drafted By The Knicks. Automatic F Even Though This One Was Really Good


Number 7 Pick Shaedon Sharpe - Portland Trail Blazers

Incredibly dapper, absolutely in love with the red pocket square. Going all silver is hard to pull off, but this young man does it splendidly. Really hoped he would fall to New York, but alas...

I Would Give Him An A+ If He Was Drafted By New York


Number 8 Pick Dyson Daniels - New Orleans Pelicans

I don't know what the hell this outfit is, and I don't want to find out. Audacious, bold, and a total failure.

I'd Give Him An F Even If He Was On The Knicks


Number 9, 20, and 25 Picks Jeremy Sochan, Malaki Branham, and Blake Wesley - San Antonio Spurs

A turtleneck with a suit? That's lavender purple? A flower print suit? These kids are just going for it and I for one do not understand it.

I'm So Tired Of This Bit, Please Knicks Just Get Some Good Young Talent And Play Them Significant Minutes


Number 10 Pick Johnny Davis - Washington Wizards

All burgandy, big designer J on the lapel, big smile. Can't knock him for attempting a whole aesthetic but I just think "what are you doing, my man" when I look at this.

Knicks Front Office, Please Don't Trade Away 1st Round Picks To Clear Cap Space Like That In The Future


Let's Just Talk About The Suit Of The Night: Tari Eason

Lime green! Shiny suit! And the Atari logo! Now that is how you carry swag with you into the NBA. Good luck to Houston, you'll have to wear shades with how bright the future is going to be.

Final Grade: F

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