THERE ARE LEVELS TO IT
The World's Most Fastidious Cleaner, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
Every day, somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.
Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it
— maple cocaine (@maplecocaine) January 3, 2019
This week's characters include the US Supreme Court and its judges, an AI storyteller, a Republican presidential candidate, Twitter's most infamous maths guy and an obsessive traveler. And there was one we couldn't really dive into — a recurring villain whose latest take is that traveling is sin.
Thursday
US Supreme Court
The character: The Supreme Court of the United States of America, or at least the majority of it
The plot: The geniuses at the Supreme Court (that was sarcastic) struck down affirmative action in college admissions, forcing all schools of higher learning to find new ways of being diverse, which they will absolutely not do. This has been a long series of bad decisions (IMHO) from the highest court in all of the land, and this ruling wasn't even the worst one so far.
There was the overturning of Roe v. Wade, Sackett v. EPA that redefined the "wetlands" and then further back there was Citizens United, and Bush v. Gore, and…
We could go on and on.
The repercussion: The hypocrisy, the inanity, the ignorance, the pure evil of it all… it's just too much to take in consistently. And this is even before they rule on student loans being waved away by the President! SCOTUS makes me sick to my stomach.
The backlash all got kicked off by Michelle Obama and AOC.
The affirmative action decision is awful, but the question of legacy admissions wasn't before the Court. That said: The question of legacy admissions *should be* before the Court if colleges don't do the right thing and end it now, given that it's totally morally indefensible. https://t.co/va2ZxYpVOe
— Jill Filipovic (@JillFilipovic) June 29, 2023
this is a line to really sit with: "so often we just accept that money, power, and privilege are perfectly justifiable forms of affirmative action"
— Diana Budds (@DianaBudds) June 29, 2023
and it makes me think of all the lengths that people in power will go to in order to hold onto it when it comes to higher ed https://t.co/RP3Lqe4rhT
— Gators Daily 🐊 (@GatorsDaily) June 29, 2023
ignoring the initial trauma response to lean into humor, the sliding back of civil rights and the assurance of equity, privacy, and agency in this country is very terrifying. this is scary af. things are about to get tougher than they already are. we will get hit the worst. https://t.co/J1HKYnAj3h
— 5hahem aka Dr. Durag (@shaTIRED) June 29, 2023
Reminder: Clarence Thomas got into Yale because of affirmative action. He hates this fact very much. pic.twitter.com/PynT7W01Xc
— Travon (@Travon) June 29, 2023
Jared Russo
Tuesday
Ammaar Reshi
The character: Ammaar Reshi, design manager, "Twin Peaks" fan, AI storyteller
The plot: What happens when an AI gets into "Twin Peaks" for the first time? In the good old days it would've been a few tweets and a LinkedIn Post on how Lynch is the GOAT, but instead in this day and age we get their thoughts synthesized through a generative art machine.
"So naturally I had to recreate the intro and a few iconic scenes with AI," Reshi wrote.
I recently started watching Twin Peaks for the first time, so naturally I had to recreate the intro and a few iconic scenes with AI.
— Ammaar Reshi (@ammaar) June 27, 2023
Here’s a little @runwayml Gen-2 experiment 👀 pic.twitter.com/nA9MfHm0Z9
The repercussion: While Reshi's direct replies — presumably his people — loved it, users in the quote tweets felt otherwise. Lynch fans are accustomed to weather updates on Twitter, not this monstrosity.
I recently started watching this awesome creative show so naturally i put it into my thief machine and pretend i did something valuable https://t.co/yqQsAhYGYR pic.twitter.com/8zrx2rIbAL
— MekareMadness⭐🐷🔪 (@MekareMadness) June 28, 2023
Damn, you know what’s cooler than a shitty AI version of the Twin Peaks intro?
— Mike Beauvais (@MikeBeauvais) June 28, 2023
The actual Twin Peaks intro. pic.twitter.com/30pjlMrGuo https://t.co/Tm8mYreyCN
COOP, IT'S GORDON. GORDON COLE. I'VE JUST HEARD FROM MY SUPERVISOR THAT A YOUNG MAN USED HIS COMPUTER TO MAKE A FAKE VERSION OF TWIN PEAKS. IT'S OUTRAGEOUS. I WON'T STAND FOR IT. WHAT'S THAT? CHAT WITH PCP? NO THANKS COOP, I DON'T PARTAKE. https://t.co/AsNvoaVZn0 pic.twitter.com/mrDjGIF6r8
— alex 🐀 (@tinysnekcomics) June 28, 2023
here's my thoughts on your incredible work https://t.co/LafUHHkkYQ pic.twitter.com/NfnMek1ae2
— Mavs (@DaleCooper49) June 28, 2023
i made this specifically because of how all of my neurons hate the fact that this piece of shit was created https://t.co/irCFjKld1A pic.twitter.com/2kYCKnuCE6
— cesium v (@cesium_v) June 28, 2023
i cant imagine watching twin peaks and thinking 'hm i wonder how this would look like if it sucked' https://t.co/yzEQ7tKYhN
— lynchian joan of arc (@postnuclearjoan) June 28, 2023
Adwait Patil
Saturday
Nikki Haley
The character: Nikki Haley, Republican '24 presidential primary candidate, past and simple life yearner
The plot: We promise we'll keep the upcoming presidential election candidates to a minimum, but Republican primary candidate Nikki Haley's ridiculously bland take about "faith, family and country" and life being easy before Joe Biden felt like it was a discarded ChatGPT draft.
Do you remember when you were growing up, do you remember how simple life was, how easy it felt? It was about faith, family, and country. We can have that again, but to do that, we must vote Joe Biden out. #RTM2023
— Nikki Haley (@NikkiHaley) June 24, 2023
The repercussion: Twitter's new filtering system makes it hard for all the hate to pool in one place, sometimes the replies agree and quotes don't, but Haley's tweet more or less received backlash from every possible angle.
When was this? The 1950s? (my grandmother couldn't vote). The 1960s (my mother couldn't vote until 1965). 1970s (Erlichman, under Nixon, flooding the Black community with heroin). The 1980s (Reagan saying "hold my beer" with crack). 1990s (Clinton w/mandatory sentencing). When?
— Karen Hunter (@karenhunter) June 24, 2023
You mean back when we had stronger labor unions, and a higher top tax rate, two things your party vehemently opposes?
— FrankInGeneral 🔴⛈️ (@frankingeneral) June 24, 2023
I remember when I was growing up, even mainstream publications covered these topics, and now they just bury them and pretend none of it happened https://t.co/NWCHqrNffN pic.twitter.com/egfQZULn2o
— Sarah Kendzior (@sarahkendzior) June 24, 2023
Nikki, it's possible that when you were growing up, like me, you just weren't aware of much of what was going on in the country. It's important that, as adults, we try to inform ourselves, instead of trying to recreate our own ignorance. https://t.co/KoRElp00cf
— Paula Poundstone (@paulapoundstone) June 24, 2023
You were born in the 1970s. Vietnam. Energy Crisis. OPEC Oil Embargo. Civil Rights. Soaring Inflation. Watergate. Economic malaise. The Cold War. Elvis died and the Beatle broke up. Fucking disco and enough plaid polyester to carpet the world.
— Stonekettle (@Stonekettle) June 24, 2023
The hell are you talking about? https://t.co/AQXrDZZ3bM
Adwait Patil
Saturday
@bronzeageshawty
The character: @bronzeageshawty, ick purveyor, water bottle purist
The plot: The ick is a vibe, an intangible and subjective concept — so to each their own. But when @bronzeageshawty said that men who carry watter bottles with them gave them "the ick" and called it a "feminine trait," you have to decide whether to laugh or cry at her take.
Men who carry water bottles out in public give me the ick. Especially at the airport.
— chloé (@bronzeageshawty) June 24, 2023
You can’t go a few hours without having your little sips of water? Carrying around anything is a feminine trait.
The only things men should be carrying around are his wallet and a pocketknife.
The repercussion: Performative takes often bring out the best of people's goofy sides. It's not often that one gets a prompt that involves the items ick, feminine trait, sips of water, wallet, pocketknife and airport. The possibilities are endless.
especially gallon water bottles.. real men drink sparkling water at nice dinner
— Aurora✨ (@aurorab0rea) June 24, 2023
What Aquarious messed up ur life so bad that the archetypal image of someone carrying water fills you with disgust 😭😭😭?
— parabula (@parabula_) June 24, 2023
Rule 749 https://t.co/CZksohj3X7 pic.twitter.com/osil8mdRj2
— 🍊Elgin Barrett Eugene Smith lll🍊 (@Southside_Gunn) June 25, 2023
what if my water bottle looks like this is this ok https://t.co/HBNH7HrsGM pic.twitter.com/0DD4pKKkbv
— 🐖🐓𝕸𝖊𝖗𝖈𝖍𝖆𝖓𝖙 𝕻𝖗𝖎𝖓𝖈𝖊🏝️🐬🏴☠️ (@SeaDogFrog) June 24, 2023
Real man. https://t.co/rbzhRB4BA9 pic.twitter.com/Ao7guYTbgn
— Jay H (@jay_mfc) June 26, 2023
“Real men carry knives at the airport” rocks, people are so good at posting https://t.co/qcVuwqQh9k
— Matthew Zeitlin (@MattZeitlin) June 25, 2023
Adwait Patil
Friday
Nate Silver
The character: Nate Silver, founder and EIC of FiveThirtyEight, stats guy, poker guy, wannabe sub guy
The plot: Silver's FiveThirtyEight chapter is expected to close soon, so I can understand where his newfound tweeting enthusiasm is coming from. Silver tweeted about the Titan sub disaster, and said that he "would totally have gone (if offered for ~free)." Unrelated, Silver recently won $99K in March at a poker tournament.
I would totally have gone (if offered for ~free) on the Titanic cruise sort of suspect of people who claim otherwise.
— Nate Silver (@NateSilver538) June 24, 2023
The repercussion: Silver's always had a tough crowd to please on Twitter, and it gets tougher when you're a numbers guy who refuses to be anything but a numbers guy. We've been weary about joking about the Titan tragedy, which should've been avoided at all costs, just like Silver's take.
He's making incorrect predictions retroactively now. https://t.co/gVwatjTGxz
— 'Whack' with a silent H ☀️ (@WhackNicholson) June 24, 2023
Someone has to study Twitter as a sadomasochistic impulse because there are somethings you shouldn’t be able to get people to admit and yet people do it every day. https://t.co/sN0tH5AyfT
— Tressie McMillan Cottom (@tressiemcphd) June 24, 2023
Gurl, I wouldn't even go on a walking tour of a haunted house, let alone to the bottom of the sea. https://t.co/PLuzWlWrxZ
— Brandon (@blgtylr) June 24, 2023
There's a joke in here about Bayesianism and rare events but instead let's just laugh at this man https://t.co/ocNmrfkmJm
— Alex Hanna (@alexhanna) June 24, 2023
feels dispositive of something that the genius whos supposedly got his finger on the pulse of what the masses think and how public policy should be evaluated is basically saying "only out of touch elites wouldn't leap to get squished to pulp in some grifter's nightmare coffin" https://t.co/1JnR29sdOF
— inverted vibe curve: we were burgertown all along (@PatBlanchfield) June 24, 2023
Did the ocean write this https://t.co/MjoW1n6oow
— Geraldine @[email protected] (@everywhereist) June 24, 2023
This is a stupid thing to say.
— Ted Allen (@TheTedAllen) June 24, 2023
Adwait Patil
Monday
@operation_niki
The character: @operation_niki, world traveler, fastidious cleaner
The plot: Earlier this week, someone tweeted the below video of the cleaning routine TikTok user @operation_niki follows whenever she stays at a hotel. It’s pretty extensive; she can be seen spraying furniture, wiping down surfaces, fitting disposable bed sheets and more.
What is this 😂 pic.twitter.com/XrxlHQiwN7
— LORD FRΛNÇOIS (@FRANCCYRILL) June 26, 2023
The repercussion:
People had thoughts about the lengths this Main Character goes to in order to feel comfortable staying at a hotel — mainly, why bother going to one at all? — but others respected her commitment (and the nifty gadgets she brings with her).
My sister worked in a hotel and gave me the tea. Y’all think sis is tripping but… https://t.co/yMM9yu2ypQ
— Rasheed A. (@sheededonem) June 27, 2023
She should just stay in her house
— 🌺Sir Vee🌺 (@Violetotina) June 26, 2023
if y’all knew how unsanitary hotels REALLY are you wouldn’t be confused. https://t.co/creShtW3ne
— SLIM (@_slimarella_) June 28, 2023
it’s not that i don’t think this is necessary, it almost certainly is necessary, it’s just that if i’m staying at a hotel i’ve already accepted the ramifications of that and i’m not doing all this https://t.co/bC1juRe96R
— dash • they/them (@thedigitaldash_) June 27, 2023
I'm not doing all of this. If the Lord decides to give me the plague by just trusting the hotel is already clean, then so be it. https://t.co/1IGYmjW9wF
— Kalen Allen (@TheKalenAllen) June 27, 2023
Nah, because….. where i get that light pic.twitter.com/TxFRtEJjPG
— Ivy Love (@Ivy_Luv_) June 27, 2023
I ain’t scrubbing no damn floor pic.twitter.com/H9YUZ6pvCI
— Khordelle (@khordelle) June 27, 2023
I mean I get it but she might as well be put on the payroll after that https://t.co/8e39bQ16sg
— . (@theguyjayt) June 26, 2023
Darcy Jimenez
———
Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which included a politician whose well-intentioned AI take got picked on, a young YouTuber with an ignorant take on marriage, another politico who tried to frame Biden for Costco's reasonable prices and a professor who didn't party enough.
Did we miss a main character from this week? Please send tips to [email protected].
