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buyer's remorse

Gannett's New Taylor Swift Reporter, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'

Darcy Jimenez
Darcy Jimenez
Gannett's New Taylor Swift Reporter, And More Of This Week's 'One Main Character'
Including someone who got what they paid for when they bought a Tesla.
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Every day, somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.



This week, we've got a disappointed Tesla owner who should've seen it coming, another unhinged rant by Azealia Banks and Garnett's controversial new Swiftie reporter.



Tuesday

@QuinnvestLamb

The character: Twitter user "The Lamb," former SpaceX worker, pissed-off Tesla owner

The plot: Mr. T. Lamb here reports that he purchased a Tesla Model Y last year, and he's furious that the overall value has plummeted since then. He goes on to bring up instances where Elon Musk made some rather, let's say, ambitious claims about how Tesla vehicles will actually make money for owners by becoming "Robotaxis," — but none of that has come to pass.



People immediately got in his replies explaining the concept of depreciation and the foolishness of trusting anything coming out of Musk's mouth. Fundamentally, his criticisms aren't so much wrong as they are incredibly obvious.


The repercussion: It'd be nice to think this was a hard lesson in skepticism, and a reminder not to pay Elon Musk money. But given that he sports a Blue Check, maybe there is still more to learn here.



Grant Brunner


Wednesday

Azealia Banks

The character: Azealia Banks, rapper, singer, unparalleled hater

The plot: Azealia Banks is no stranger to controversy and having beef with other music artists, but this latest incident is especially confusing. After Troye Sivan named Banks' hit "212" as his go-to pregame song in a Spotify interview, Banks launched into a homophobic and entirely unprovoked rant about him on her Instagram story.

In the post, she calls Sivan an "expired twink" and accuses him of adopting a "pedophilia x incest aesthetic," whatever that means. And of course, no unhinged rant by Azealia Banks would be complete without a transphobic comment, which you'll see in the screenshot below.



The repercussion: People online reacted like any rational person would, expressing total disbelief at Banks having such a hateful response to someone complimenting her music.



Darcy Jimenez


Wednesday

Gannett's Taylor Swift reporter

The character: Bryan West, Gannett's new Taylor Swift reporter

The plot: After much consternation, buzz and memes, Gannett has officially hired 35-year-old Bryan West as their new Taylor Swift reporter. He's a legit journalist, a legit Swiftie, and yet somehow has satisfied no one in either of those camps.



The repercussion: It seems this was always destined to end in derision and controversy, no matter who they hired or what that reporter actually did. Enthusiast press, sports journalists, tweens and poptimists, and pretty much everybody under the sun were taking shots. This guy hasn't even put pen to paper yet, not hit one single key on his keyboard, and already the knives and pitchforks and torches are out for him to be fired.

Sucks for Bryan, who no doubt wanted to celebrate his exciting new job, but there are legitimate criticisms — including that a die-hard Taylor Swift fan probably isn't the best pick if you're hoping for incisive, and sometimes critical, reporting on the pop star.



Jared Russo



Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which featured Joe Russo coming for Scorsese, a horrible Halloween costume idea, an insensitive take on Matthew Perry's death and a controversial bagel order.


[Image credit: YouTube]

Comments

  1. Xavier 1 year ago

    @QuinnvestLamb dropped that blue check mark, perhaps to alleviate the monthly $2000 depreciation on his Tesla? lol

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