Every day somebody says or does something that earns them the scorn of the internet. Here at Digg, as part of our mission to curate what the internet is talking about right now, we rounded up the main characters on Twitter from this past week and held them accountable for their actions.

Each day on twitter there is one main character. The goal is to never be it

— maple cocaine (@maplecocaine) January 3, 2019

This week’s characters include a journalist inventing the concept of socializing in real life, a guy defending Elon Musk on the assumption he’s running Twitter like a sports team and someone who has some sort of problem with a woman buying a banana at Whole Foods.

Friday

Harry Siegel

The character: Harry Siegel, NYC journo, Brooklyn since ‘77, big spitballer

The plot: Siegel is one of those guys. He lives in New York and works in media. Honestly, the joke should end here, but it doesn’t. Seigel also joined the “Twitter is collapsing” discourse with what I can only assume he thought was a crafty take.

“Maybe the next social network could be one where people gather in cafes and bars and parks and streets to talk and listen in while cultivating friends and foes and professional opportunities and romances and all the rest of it,” Siegel wondered aloud.

Just spitballing here, but maybe the next social network could be one where people gather in cafes and bars and parks and streets to talk and listen in while cultivating friends and foes and professional opportunities and romances and all the rest of it?

— Harry Siegel (@harrysiegel) November 18, 2022

The repercussion: The man literally said go touch grass and thought the Internet wouldn’t bite back. As usual, earnest tweeters were in the replies too. Siegel’s a crafty tweeter. Scrutinize his take too much and you’re feeding into his rhetoric, that we all really do need to get out more. But how can you not dunk on a blue check (not paid, for what it’s worth) who doesn’t even put thought into writing semi-intelligible tweets?

That works in NYC. Doesn’t work for people who live in tiny towns. The great thing about places like twitter is that they allow the average person to connect with people from all around the world.

— Alice Radley (@alice_radley) November 18, 2022

lol your dad’s name is blue on wikipedia and also lmao pic.twitter.com/mqRvjzEv07

— Gene Parmesan (@AimIessFriend) November 18, 2022

what if everyone built a huge water slide for my nephews birthday https://t.co/4hbqSAWFnG

— Patrick Doran (@lunch_enjoyer) November 18, 2022

indistinguishable from boomer memes about iphones https://t.co/xOX9TyFWdV

— cait (@punished_cait) November 18, 2022

Adwait Patil

Dickie Bush

The character: Dickie Bush, former Black Rock trader-turned-“digital builder”

The plot: So much has been made of Elon Musk’s antics and his, uh, “business decisions” over the last month or so after acquiring Twitter. And this has brought out all of the weird Elon defenders and “smart guys” who love that he’s dismantling the company and laying off a ton of the workforce. Enter Mr. Bush and this tweet:

If you played competitive sports at a high level, you see what Elon is doing.

When a coach inherits a poor culture, the first thing they do is a series of grueling workouts.

A good chunk of the team will quit, which is the goal.

Then you rebuild with the best performers.

— Dickie Bush 🚢 (@dickiebush) November 18, 2022

The repercussion: First of all, a coach doesn’t immediately have everyone do a “series of grueling workouts” — that’s not right at all. A “good chunk of the team” will also not quit, because that’s not how professional sports work. Have you heard of contracts? And the goal is to drive away your talent… because? What?

This is not at all rooted in sports, or fact, or even logic whatsoever, and running a business is not at all like coaching a sports team. This is beyond nonsense, and that’s me saying this, not to mention all of the great many people online dunking on him.

we may have lost harry cherry, but we have an opportunity in dickie bush. pic.twitter.com/UDMzt6rw7v

— beth (@bethbourdon) November 20, 2022

Every time pic.twitter.com/2gnlfwZwKs

— Ken Klippenstein (@kenklippenstein) November 20, 2022

1:
This rarely works in sports. You need a coach you want to play for. This is why teams spend decades rebuilding and still lose.
2:
Twitter isn't a sports team, it's a business that runs on advertising dollars, and erratic CEO behavior has already scared off a lot of em.

— Carly Rae Jeppson's Malört (@SamGreszes) November 19, 2022

Narcissistic Rich Guy: “If you decide to work for me, then I’m going to make your life very hard, for no reason.”

Smart Workers: pic.twitter.com/njxHh6Gb3N

— An American Werewolf in Brooklyn (@SadSonya4) November 20, 2022

Your name is dickie bush. https://t.co/3tY0G2MUor

— guy (@Tigershah26) November 20, 2022

Dear “Dickie Bush” - as a youth coach who has learned so much from the Positive Coaching Alliance, gotta say you know nothing about coaching, team building, etc. If you want to learn, say so. But don’t be content to sound like an ignoramus.

— Dave Zirin (@EdgeofSports) November 19, 2022

Jared Russo

Saturday

A Guy Taking Pictures Of People Being Normal At Whole Foods

The character: bbornaa, person who takes photos of strangers in the supermarket

The plot: On Saturday, a Twitter user called @bbornaa decided that a woman buying a banana at Whole Foods was remarkable enough that he should take a photo of her and post it on the platform.

Woman buying a single banana at Whole Foods pic.twitter.com/eO8QGqnuNG

— bbornaa (@bbornaa) November 19, 2022

It’s not clear what part of the banana-buying scenario this Twitter user took issue with, but it’s super weird to take (and then share on the internet) a photo of someone and their face without them being aware of it or granting you permission.

The repercussion: Twitter users criticized bbornaa’s decision to post the photo — and questioned why he took it in the first place.

She wanted a snack? Is that so weird?

— b (@LimpNesquick) November 20, 2022

…ok? she’s buying a fruit at a grocery store? why did this make you feel the need to photograph a stranger without their consent and post it on social media?

— bimini bon bambi ✨ (@mamacattiva) November 20, 2022

People: (to me) don't worry! People don't care about what you look like, or do, in public, they are too worried about themselves!

You:

— Autistic Frog, the frog with Autism (@HollyDellieDoo) November 21, 2022

therapy is complicated now bc I’ll say something like “I sometimes feel obsessively paranoid that I am being surveilled and recorded everywhere I go” and neither my therapist nor I can tell if that’s actually a delusion anymore lol https://t.co/iy6YEPEP9h

— rayne fisher-quann (@raynefq) November 21, 2022

Breaking news: Woman buys food at food store, local creep photographs her without consent

— Jade (@__J4D3___) November 21, 2022

leave this woman and her midday snack alone!

— 𝔪𝔢𝔤 (@bymeg) November 20, 2022

imagine you just want to eat a delicious fucking potassium enriched piece of fruit and some psycho is like i gotta take a picture of this and post it on twitter https://t.co/1EMmqb4JwK

— Pisser Dick (@PlSSERDlCK) November 21, 2022

Stop photographing women without their consent 👍

— eliza (@msdamacy) November 20, 2022

Crazy how you can do literally nothing and still get made fun of by random losers https://t.co/w9JIrD9TOw

— Izzy🌇 (@NQrizzy) November 21, 2022

Darcy Jimenez

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Read the previous edition of our One Main Character column, which included a guy who thinks having more cops would prevent crypto scams, a Chris Evans fan who feels personally betrayed by Chris Evans living his life and more.

Did we miss a main character from this week? Please send tips to [email protected].