RELEASE THESE RIGHT NOW
People On Twitter Shared Their Pop Culture 'White Whales,' And Now You Won't Be Able To Stop Thinking About Them
Ever seen Guillermo Del Toro's version of "The Hobbit"? How about that episode of "Buffy the Vampire Slayer" that featured Britney Spears? And speaking of Britney Spears, how did you like her album "Original Doll"?
If you're thinking, 'Oh my God, how have I not seen/heard that?', that's because they do not exist, because the world is a cruel place that refuses to bless us with good things. Or the reason may be a little less melodramatic: sometimes people just didn't get around to finishing or releasing projects, for reasons ranging from cash flow to creative drought to weird legal issues. It happens.
But sometimes it's nice to reminisce on what might have been. On Sunday, Dan Chamberlain, staff writer at The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon, posed the following question to the general Twitter public:
what's your pop culture white whale? i mean unreleased/unrealized stuff like "the day the clown cried" - mine is the rumored jay-z blueprint 3 track "crispy benjamins" which supposedly sampled regina spektor's "chemo limo"
— dan chamberlain (@amfmpm) February 13, 2022
A great question — and one a lot of people answered. Here are some of those answers, chosen either because they describe projects that really would be incredible to see in the world, or because they're just deranged enough that the world deserves to have its curiosity satisfied. Not all of these may have been legitimately in the works, but nonetheless, the ideas should arguably still see the light of day.
A Bunch Of Guillermo Del Toro Projects
to this day I am haunted by the fact that we almost got The Hobbit movies directed by Guillermo Del Toro AND THEN WERE CRUELLY DENIED https://t.co/aXK4eSGN6F
— Austin Olivia Kendrick (@aussie_olivia) February 16, 2022
Literally all of this https://t.co/33PduKsymy pic.twitter.com/GrTakyo5Yo
— MrsMoe 🌘 (@irlcronagorgon) February 15, 2022
A Movie Version Of Sondheim's "Into The Woods" With An Iconic Cast
I just realized what mine is: that early 90s Into the Woods when they were first trying to make it into a movie.
— Hayley (@hay_maker) February 16, 2022
They did a table read with Robin Williams as the Baker, Cher as The Witch, Goldie Hawn as the Baker's Wife, Steve Martin as The Wolf and DaVito as The Giant. https://t.co/3cf0CXpCMf
a recording of the readings of the jim henson company version of into the woods!! https://t.co/Ecqm3KVgNs pic.twitter.com/n4UYvmT4CK
— olivia ✨ (@livshandle) February 16, 2022
Real-Life Versions Of Concept Art For Disney Theme Parks
every single theme park that disney didn’t build around the 90s, solely because this concept art is insane https://t.co/KAZ8Bprf8J pic.twitter.com/yhV0IumHHf
— 🪲KAZ🐞 (@y2_kazoo) February 16, 2022
Beyoncé's Rumored Fela Kuti-Inspired Afrobeat Album And/Or Doo-Wop Album
Beyoncé’s pre-‘4’ Fela Kuti-inspired album and her pre-ST doo-wop album https://t.co/yG0lyAbjnP pic.twitter.com/mtWWCMEK8M
— kyle (@blkboybulletin) February 16, 2022
A 'Hulk' Movie With Animatronic Suits
The Hulk movie from the 90s that was gonna have these giant, practical, animatronic Hulk suits https://t.co/ArQwqDl1eL pic.twitter.com/hrafhOVtHv
— Will (@WilliamD1123) February 15, 2022
An Episode Of 'Buffy The Vampire Slayer' Featuring Britney Spears
Britney was supposed to be on Buffy https://t.co/bgDxydfwtQ pic.twitter.com/tr91ucsBTl
— Ryan Houlihan (@ryanhoulihan) February 15, 2022
An Anti-Drug PSA From 'The New Teen Titans'
I've said this before, but I want to find the lost New Teen Titans anti-drug PSA more than anything https://t.co/Pm1sZ0gkUk pic.twitter.com/GWY5BoaIdK
— Teen titans screens (@titansscreens) February 15, 2022
A Live-Action 'Curious George' Movie
The 1998 live action curious george movie https://t.co/m8vgvpbDFt pic.twitter.com/o06qNrGZ7N
— Z ᕮ ᒪ ᑐ ᖻ (@zelbohammer) February 15, 2022
The Unmade 'Batman Meets Godzilla' Movie
Actual movie idea that was under legitimate consideration back in the 60s https://t.co/4GFMtSEaO4 pic.twitter.com/mehCgLf1QW
— William (SpaceTree Studios) (@SpaceTree88) February 15, 2022
The Original Cut Of 'Solo: A Star Wars Story' From Phil Lord And Chris Miller
Sure wouldn't mind seeing the Miller & Lord cut of Solo... https://t.co/OVMEyy88sL
— Marc Bernardin (@marcbernardin) February 15, 2022
The R-Rated Version Of The 2002 Live-Action 'Scooby-Doo' Movie
the director's original, much darker and edgier vision for Scooby-Doo (2002) https://t.co/ulusjI0qlh pic.twitter.com/2L6eP5lts2
— Hayden "duuzu" Jason (@duuzu_) February 15, 2022
A 'Gladiator' Sequel Written By Nick Cave In Which The Gladiator Returns To Earth From Purgatory To Kill Jesus Christ
Nick Cave’s screenplay for a Gladiator sequel where a now-immortal Maximus is returned to Earth to kill Christ and lives through centuries of warfare up until modern day https://t.co/8SkUpecKqz pic.twitter.com/mjIupXZMmm
— Kyle Milner (@kyle_milner) February 15, 2022