Another day, another monstrous notion from the depths of Reddit’s Am I The Asshole? forum, via the Twitter account @AITA_online that bravely rounds them up for the wider internet to see.

Today @AITA_online tweeted a post from a 27-year-old man who, with his 26-year-old fiancée, is planning a wedding. Given that the two met in a puppetry class in college, not only do the two of them have a history, but their puppets — Hat Boy and Daisy — have history, too.

This led them to decide to include their puppets in the wedding — which, great! It’s your funeral wedding — and because they also invited their troupe of puppeteers, they’re going to have the wedding officiated by puppets, too. Again: totally their call.

But here’s where things go off the rails: they want every guest to use puppets, too. That they buy themselves. And keep on their hand throughout the entire event. Which will be specifically organized and catered such that guests will not have to remove the puppets from their hands even to eat or dance. (The lovebirds have graciously made an exception, at least, for bathroom breaks.)

Here’s what OP says:

In lieu of gifts, we’ve asked everyone to purchase high quality (but not nearly the quality of professional puppets) puppets to use during the wedding. We took the guess work out of it and directed them to several vendors, some of who offer some really cool options. Everyone could realistically expect to spend $150–$500 depending on what sort of details and whatnot they wanted.

We also want everyone to ‘wear’ their puppets during the entire wedding and reception. All puppets we’re suggesting can be mounted on and controlled with one hand. The puppets are meant to be ‘guests’ at the wedding in the same way all of our human guests are as well.

AITA for making our guests participate in our puppet themed wedding? https://t.co/b2Xf6WT1Ur pic.twitter.com/60s0lnsKxK

— Am I the Asshole? (@AITA_online) July 22, 2022

Right, so, listen. When you invite people to a wedding, they are already doing you the favor of blocking off their schedule, traveling, possibly buying formalwear or bridesmaid/groomsman outfits, booking a hotel, and — if you’re lucky — buying you a gift. Once they arrive, let them actually enjoy themselves and be glad they came to see your happy day. Do not ask every single guest the favor of hindering their entire experience of the event, or participating in a kind of immersive theater experience in which they themselves are the actors facilitating the experience.

Sure, asking for guests to buy puppets instead of gifts is helpful, but even if you offered free puppets at the door, the problem is what it does to the experience of the wedding.

OP said reactions to his and his fiancée’s suggestions were not good. He described people concerns — and how the couple is planning to address them:

Well let’s just say, there are a LOT of people not happy. Both of our parents, my wife’s sister, and family members on both sides have complained that this is completely unreasonable. They’re concerned about how are they going to eat and drink? How are they doing to dance? (you don’t need hands to dance, so idk where this complaint came from.) We of course don’t expect people to have their puppet on their hand while in the bathroom, but everywhere else, we’d really like to insist on it.

We also made sure that our hors d’oeuvres are all finger foods. There will be plenty of cocktail tables so people can put down their drinks. We even made sure that all of the food for the dinner itself is portioned so that it can be eaten in bite sizes just with a for without having to use a knife.

All I can picture are plates of steak that has been pre-cut, as for a small child.

Overall, responses were harsh but, per this editor, fair.

One commenter came in hot, and then backed off slightly, and pitched what sounds like a reasonable way to incorporate puppets in the ceremony without demanding the participation of the guests:

At any rate, the verdict is in: Hat Boy and Daisy, please, please, please do not do this to your guests.

[Reddit, via @AITA_online]