In yet another "Am I The Asshole?" gem of a post, a woman in college wanted to know if she was in the wrong for organizing — what she playfully termed — a "hoe union" among her friends.

"I'm in a college organization that is also big on partying," she wrote. "It can be fun but sadly it can also be risky, most of my friends and I have had bad experiences." Relatable.

She said she joked to her friends that they should form a "hoe union," and they took to the idea in a surprisingly wholesome way.

They decided that when they went out to parties, they would skip or leave any party that:

• Let in or was hosted by a person who had sexually harassed any of us or anyone else.

• Didn't let girls mix our own drinks or pick and open their own beers.

• Was racist / homophobic / fatphobic / otherwise bigoted about who they let in or were respectful of at the party.

• Tried to enforce a "ratio" of girls to guys.

• If the hosts had a reputation or [sic] pushing freshmen or inexperienced drinkers to drink heavily.

NTA, girls are amazing. pic.twitter.com/bqTrrOutcn

— 🌸 MAEDI. (@maediocre) June 9, 2022

To my ears, this set of guidelines follows the kind of common sense that individuals follow for themselves, and puts into words what women naturally do with each other. If a trusted friend told me someone had harassed them, I would steer clear of that person, too, to protect myself.

Moreover, the "hoe union" isn't trying to get parties shut down, nor is it reporting individuals to the administration or filing official complaints: they're simply opting out of situations that they don't want to be in.

The "hoe union" started as a group chat between seven friends, and expanded to 36. But, as OP describes: "as quick as the chat grew, word that I'd organized it grew too. First, it was a couple guys from frats pissed that their houses were no-gos for us. I told them I don't make that decision, it's not a centralized thing."

Then, apparently, the college's administration got involved and got in touch with OP about allegations that "there was a list of people who, if they came to an event, I'd organize it so every woman left."

OP clarified that it was a group chat of women helping each other steer clear of parties, not a blacklist. "It's just the same as when one girl in a friend group is like 'that guy or that frat isn't cool to drink around,'" she wrote.

Certainly, some people might read this and see this as an example of "cancel culture" playing out on a small scale. But based on the responses on Twitter, it seems like people of all genders largely see this, as OP described, as how friends support each other and help each other avoid situations that are likely to put them in danger.

...a guidance counsellor annoyed with girls for *gasp* looking after themselves and others? What's next, speaking up for themselves and their rights?!

WHEN WILL IT END?!

— 👩‍💻🧙‍♀️ Jess "GirlGerms" Dodson 💉💉💉💉 (@girlgerms) June 9, 2022

They HATE it when we look out for our own safety. They take it personally, like we're taking away their toys.
But of course, when something happens to us, it's our own fault for not taking precautions.

— Rae (@Rae_209) June 9, 2022

School admin obviously annoyed at being showed up for not having a way to keep women safe on campus

— the big pete manifesto (@unitled) June 9, 2022

You can read more responses on Reddit, but one in particular, I think, is a great summary of the most normal reaction to the story, which is at its heart a story about a college administration trying to make sure frat houses' parties get good attendance.

NTA and I'd also argue that they really shouldn't be involved in whether or not their students are partying with specific people?? Lol like you're all adults and can choose whether or not to stay somewhere you don't want to be. If anything I would encourage all the girls to stop going to parties completely if the school feels the need to referee their choices on if they feel safe or not.

[Photo credit: Andrea Piacquadio via Pexels]