There's a great meme where Robin Williams' character in "Jumanji" wakes up and asks police officer David Alan Grier "what year is it?"

Many people were asking that to themselves when we all found out People Magazine awarded Patrick Dempsey "Sexiest Man Alive" today. No disrespect to him, he is very handsome, but he should have won that award in 1993 and not 2023.

Did he pay off People Magazine? Did his PR team kidnap the editor-in-chief? Is print journalism pivoting hard to boomers? Is there some kind of restriction on photoshoots from actors in SAG who are more relevant than Patrick? That can't be, since he's probably trying to promote the upcoming films "Ferrari" and "Thanksgiving" which are two somewhat high profile movies this fall.

So let's just get this out of the way now: this is a travesty, one that truly doesn't matter since the world around us all is burning and fascism/genocide is on the rise, but we have to all come to terms with the fact that some important hot men didn't win. Who should this year's winners have been instead? Here is Digg's list of the top five best write-in replacement candidates.

Sorry Patrick, I know being old and hot is in vogue now that we have a Golden Bachelor.

5. Jimmy Garoppolo

As the sexiest athlete we have today, I had to include the QB who took the 49ers to the Super Bowl, and took many people to cloud nine in their dreams. No, I will not make a 69 joke.

Jimmy has a penchant for dating adult film stars and looking smoldering while doing so. He recently got hurt, again, and isn't really playing football professionally right now. Why not just do a photoshoot for People? He has the time.

And for everyone asking about Travis or Jason Kelce, sorry, Jimmy is better looking than both men. No contest, Jimmy is a smoke show. If this was the '90s Deion Sanders would have won in a landslide but People Magazine messed that up back then too!

Lewis Hamilton was also another good choice for this fifth spot; as it turns out, athletes are hot.

4. Bad Bunny

Now I understand that I'm slinging rocks around in a glass house by writing this article, so I can handle the criticism thrown my way. As a generic white heterosexual cisgender man, my words can only do so much to sway people as to who I think is good looking and attractive.

My co-workers have told me to include Bad Bunny, who I know most for being the most popular person on earth who I've never heard of before like three months ago, and apparently he makes music, none of which I've ever heard. So while he doesn't do it for me I will still include him on the behalf of many of the Digg staff who championed his inclusion.

I'm told he's dating Kendall Jenner, so mazel tov to him.

3. Ryan Gosling

This was the summer of Ken. And the year of Barbie. I know he turned it down before, but still, screw him! Sorry Ryan, take your award graciously and use it as a door stop, I don't care. People could have reused old photos of you and skipped the interview, you deserve to win this award once in your life. Blake Shelton should give back his win and hand it right to Eva Mendes so she can bring it home to Ryan.

2. Glen Powell

The hair. The chiseled jawline. The muscles. If you haven't seen him in "Everybody Wants Some" or "Top Gun: Maverick" yet, you will see him in "Hit Man" or "Anyone But You" or even the upcoming reboot "Twisters."

The man is a walking Viagra pill, it's impossible to not look at him and just say "damn" to yourself. Damn. Glen can get it.

1. Pedro Pascal

The internet's zaddy. He had to win. He has to win. But he didn't and hasn't. The man is so hot, he has memes made about him! Shirts! "SNL" skits! Fan accounts on social media! He's the hottest dude on the planet and still got beat out by Patrick Dempsey?

He owned this year, mostly by being Joel in "The Last of Us" but also by capturing our hearts with his beard and smug good looks and dashing accent. The man is impeccable, everyone knows it. This was a crime to not give him the title of "Sexiest Man Alive" because as far as I know, he is still breathing. Are the editors at People alive? Can somebody check on their pulse? Do they all live under rocks?

Patrick Dempsey? Not Robert Pattinson aka Batman, Simu Liu, or Mahershala Ali, or Taron Egerton, or Harry Styles, or Dev Patel, or Daniel Kaluuya, or Timothee Chalamet? You went with Patrick Dempsey. Nobody has thought about or talked about him in a decade, and suddenly he's hotter than everyone I listed? What a joke.

[Image Credit: YouTube]