How Not To Kill Yourself With Household Items

Do you ever wonder, "How much of this can I accidentally ingest before I die?" Yeah, so do we. For your safety (and enjoyment) here's a bunch of stuff you should only enjoy in small quantities or not at all. Some things just don't belong in your mouth. 

Obligatory warning followed by a heavy sigh: Don't try any of this at home, okay? Just take our word for it.

Cinnamon – 40 Tablespoons

One tablespoon of cinnamon has resulted in thousands of videos of people coughing and choking on YouTube. Thankfully it's not the 40 tablespoon challenge, which could result in fatal benzaldehyde poisoning.​

Laundry Detergent – 17 Cups

Tide laundry detergent doesn't want to be inside you: drink half a cup and you'll have sudsy regurgitations. Clean, yet so dirty. Manage to keep 35 times that down and the detergent's acids can cause fatal organ damage. 

Gorilla Glue – 136 Ounces

If you try drinking 17 eight-ounce bottles of Gorilla Glue you'll get high on glue fumes, then everyone will look like this gorilla man, then you'll die.

Toothpaste – 13 Tubes

Swallowing a little toothpaste while brushing your teeth will make you feel uncomfortable — swallowing 13 tubes of toothpaste will kill you. 

Water – 1.75 Gallons

You can poison yourself with water: drink over a gallon in an hour and you'll be irritable, drowsy, suffering from a headache, and behaving strangely. If you consume another three quarters of a gallon in that hour, your nervous system will shut down. 

(Editor's note: Our biz dev guy nearly died doing this when he was a dumb teenager.)

Potato Skins – 40 Milligrams

Spoiled potatoes are seriously dangerous. Medical cases report cardiac dysrhythmia, nightmares, headaches, and dizziness from eating just over 40 milligrams of the stuff! Eat more than three times that and you can die from central nervous failure. 

Chewing Gum – 404 Packs 

Chewing a pack of gum a day for eight months can cause severe weight loss and diarrhea, all attributable to excess buildup of a compound called sorbitol. Gum can also be fatal if you chew 404 packs in a single sitting. 

Blue Cheese – 22 Pounds

Blue cheese will make you smell a little ripe. Thank Penicillum Roqueforti for that. Its putrid fragrance and rich flavor comes with enough toxin to kill you if you eat about 22 pounds. It's definitely one of the stinkiest ways to die.

Painter's Caulk – 7.5 Pounds

Not that we're judging, but why would you coat your digestive track with the stuff you put around your tub and sink? Whatever your reason, if you eat seven-and-a-half pounds you'll be six feet under.

Carrots – 39 Pounds

If you find yourself eating 24 carrots a week (roughly four pounds) for eight months, you'll turn orange and resemble Ernie, a condition called Carotanemia. Eating approximately 215 carrots (39 pounds) can cause carotenoid poisoning, which is fatal.

Simple Green – 12.5 Ounces

Simple Green can be fatal, albeit organic. Just 12.5 ounces can cause central nervous system failure.

Windex – 14 Ounces

If you drink two ounces of Windex glass cleaner within an hour you'll be drunk. Fourteen ounces will shut down your nervous system. 

Capsaicin – 6 Grams

We all have a love-hate relationship with the spice molecule capsaicin — eating two dozen wings always seems like a good idea at the time, and a terrible one in the bathroom later. But purified capsaicin can be downright dangerous, and even fatal. About three M&Ms worth could kill you. 

Pantene Hairspray – Two Cans

Drinking two cans of Pantene Pro-V Frizz Control Anti-Humidity Hairspray will stop your liver, and you will die.

Centrum Vitamins – 61 Bottles

You really have to work to get weird with Centrum multivitamins: 39 tablets brings on iron-related stomach ulcers, vomiting, and reduced kidney function. Eat 6105 tablets, or 61 bottles, and you're likely to die of kidney failure.

Note: The information cited in this post is based on rough estimates calculated for a 154-pound adult. All calculations have been made using peer-reviewed-published LD50s.