What Was My Boss Trying To Say When He Pulled A Bullet Out Of His Pocket, And Other Advice Column Questions
There are too many excellent (and crazy) advice columns to keep up with, so we're committed to bringing you links to the best advice column questions and answers every week. Here's a roundup of the most interesting, thought-provoking and surprising questions that our favorite columnists addressed in recent days.
Was My Boss Threatening Me When He Pulled A Bullet Out Of His Pocket At Work?
I have an issue with my manager. He likes to micromanage and is all about authority. I know he plays the game and is nice when he has to be and manipulates situations when he wants to. I do not have to see him in person so it's tolerable. However, there was a bizzare incident last week that has me puzzled. While talking in person to me and a coworker, he reached into his pocket, pulled out a bullet, looked at it, and then put it back in his pocket. It was a pleasant tone of conversation that we were having. But me and my coworker are puzzled. Boss is a hunter so maybe he was wondering what was in his pocket, pulled it out to take a look, realized what it was and put it back? Or was this some power play that has gone completely over my head?? To put things in context, I live where there is strict gun control, and you cannot open carry. To see a gun is a big deal in my town.
Alison Green reassures the letter-writer that the innocent interpretation is most likely the true interpretation. "The only other explanation is… what, that he did it to intimidate you? I suppose that's possible, but that would be an incredibly odd move and is highly unlikely compared to the other explanation." Read the rest of her answer.
Can I Ask My Daughter's Friend, Who Grew Up In Foster Care, To Stop Calling Me 'Mom'?
My daughter's friend, who grew up in foster care, likes to call me Mom. I don't want to sound like a Meany McMeany, but I only want my daughter to call me Mom. I cringe every time her friend says the M-word, but I never correct her. I have been super- kind to her by buying her things, making sure she has food at home and giving her rides from work. Should I just suck it up?
"It is great that you have given material support to your daughter's friend," replies Carolyn Hax. "But this person, who has no family of her own, is giving you the gift of love." Read the rest of her answer.
How Can I Get My Relative To Stop Telling Me That Her Psychic Thinks My Marriage Is In Trouble?
I have a female relative who frequents a psychic.
She then uses her visits to fuel conversations at family gatherings, frequently embarrassing other family members.
For example, she once reported back that her psychic had told her that my husband and I were having marital problems! I replied that every marriage has its ups and downs.
However, despite my negative reaction, she continues this pattern of behavior.
I have visited psychics myself, and I thought the purpose was to enlighten you about your own life, not to be nosy about friends and relatives.
Amy Dickinson agrees that it's not cool to use a psychic's prognostications in the service of spreading gossip and sowing discord. "When she does this in the future, you should simply respond that you don't think it's right for her to speculate about others private lives," she writes. Read the rest of her answer.
How Can I Punish My Daughter-In-Law For Knitting Me A Blanket After I Gave Her A Gift Certificate To A Yarn Store?
My daughter-in-law enjoys knitting and crocheting. For her birthday, my husband and I gave her a generous gift card to a local yarn store, for which she thanked us and seemed very pleased. Imagine my dismay, however, when six months later for our anniversary she gifted us with a lovely bedspread, which she told me she made with yarn purchased from the gift card! I told my son that we'd in effect paid for our own present and that he needs to communicate to his wife how improper and stingy this move was. He refuses, saying that her labor and time were also part of the gift. We haven't spoken much since except to discuss our grandchildren, and our DIL has been outright cold. I'm considering writing her a letter directly explaining why this was an improper gift and expressing my sadness that her own parents didn't teach her gift etiquette. My husband wants me to drop the whole thing and pretend like it never happened. Prudie, I don't like the idea of moving on as if nothing happened.
[Slate]
Daniel Mallory Ortberg retorts, "But nothing did happen." He goes on to explain, "Whether she got the yarn with the gift card you gave her or spent her own money is beside the point; you're acting as if she re-gifted something when that clearly wasn't the case." Read the rest of his answer.
Is It Rude To Lock Your Door Immediately After Someone Leaves Your Home?
I have always locked the front door after a guest or delivery person has left my home. My husband says this is rude, as it implies I am either happy someone is gone or afraid a stranger will be dangerous.
Is it rude to lock my front door after showing someone out of it? If my husband is home, is locking it unnecessary since I'm not alone? If I'm alone in my home when seeing people out, is it not considered rude, but rather a smart safety measure?
I would appreciate your insight, as I am not doing it to send a message of rudeness but rather out of my own fear of having an unlocked door.
[UExpress]
Miss Manners, aka Judith Martin, Nicholas Ivor Martin and Jacobina Martin, sides with the letter-writer. "Your husband is offering a solution to a nonexistent problem," they write. "Miss Manners suggests that he redirect his compassion to your feelings and your safety." Read the rest of their answer.
Am I Allowed To Tell My Nephew To Stop Picking His Nose In Front Of Everyone?
My nephew is 7 and always a very welcome guest in our home. He's a lovely boy, and we're extremely fond of him. That being said, he spends at least part of every visit picking his nose in plain sight of the rest of the family. My sister, his mother, has never said a word about this, and I don't want to parent her kid, but it's also really unpleasant, and I can tell it confuses my kids, who have been raised to take their nose-picking to the bathroom. How should I handle this?
[Slate]
Nicole Cliffe urges the letter-writer to tell their nephew, clearly and directly, to use a tissue to clean his nose. "It's not 'parenting' a kid to ask him not to have his index finger buried in his sinuses in your kitchen," she writes. "If your sister has a problem with it, she's a doofus." Read the rest of her answer.
