Is It Weird For Adult Daughters To Call Their Dad 'Daddy,' And Other Advice Column Questions
There are too many excellent (and crazy) advice columns to keep up with, so we're committed to bringing you links to the best advice column questions and answers every week. Here's a roundup of the most interesting, thought-provoking and surprising questions that our favorite columnists addressed in recent days.
Is It Weird For Adult Daughters To Call Their Father 'Daddy'?
Is it OK that my grown daughters (33 and 30) still call me "Daddy"? I didn't think anything about it until one of their friends was aghast when she heard it. Over the years it's been Dad, Father, Pop, Pops, Papa, but the girls always seem to drift back to Daddy. I still call my parents Mum and Pop when addressing them. I have never insisted on Daddy or forbidden them from addressing me by my first name — they just never have.
[Slate]
Carvell Wallace is aghast at the friend who was aghast. "Your kids get to call you whatever they want to call you, so if 'Daddy' is what they like then you're 'Daddy," he replies. Read the rest of his answer.
Can I Ask My Boss To Take Down The Human Skeleton He Uses To Decorate His Office?
I work in the administrative offices of a government research program. We moved into a new building recently, and I was started to discover that our director has brought in a real human skeleton to hang in his personal office. His grandfather was a doctor and apparently it is some sort of family medical curiosity that was passed down to him. I am pretty creeped out by this and find it super disrespectful — who knows how these remains were procured! But he seems to have no such feelings, and will occasionally pose the skeleton in humorous ways in his office to greet the people who come visit him. We do work in the biological sciences, but in a field that has nothing to do with human anatomy. Can I ask him to take this down?
Alison Green puts in a plug for keeping quiet. "Human skeletons are displayed in classroom settings enough that it's not going to be universally shocking in the way that, say, displaying a mummified corpse might be," she observes. Read the rest of her answer.
How Do I Deal With My Sister Telling Me She Thinks I Owe It To Her To Be The Surrogate For Her Child (Again)?
I was the surrogate for my twin sister after she was in a car accident that left her unable to have children. I was already married with three sons when she and her husband approached me. My husband and I agreed. I delivered my niece without any problems five years ago. I am currently pregnant with a little girl now. I was planning on having my tubes tied after this. When I told my sister and her husband this, they grew very upset. Apparently, they were counting on me to carry one more pregnancy for them. My twin even told me it wasn't fair that I "get" four children and she "only gets the one." It felt like a knife to the heart. I was completely blindsided. I haven't even told my husband, because he will react with rage. I don't know how to interact around my sister anymore. I have never had a child without her there holding my hand: She was there for my boys and there when I pushed her daughter into this world. Our mother died when we were teens. We've celebrated most of our major life milestones together. I feel completely alone. How do I deal with this?
[Slate]
Daniel Mallory Ortberg, aka Dear Prudence, says the sister's comments were totally out of line. "I know your sister has been through a lot, but for her to act as if you have an obligation to carry her children on command is wrong and invasive," he writes. "You're not preventing her from having children, and you've already given her a great gift." Read the rest of his answer.
Was I Wrong To Tell A Fellow Airplane Passenger Not To Put Her Feet Up?
Recently, on an airline flight, the passenger next to me put her feet (with shoes on) onto the headrest in front of her. No one was in the seat. Since she had her headphones on, I tapped her on the shoulder and indicated that it was unsanitary to put one's feet where normally a passenger's head should be. I got a dirty look for my efforts, and the young woman made quite a scene.
Should I have ignored the situation, or said something to the flight attendants? What do you recommend?
[UExpress]
Dear Abby, aka Abigail Van Buren, recommends involving more people in this petty dispute. "If you had quietly alerted the flight attendants and let them handle it, you would have spared yourself the unpleasantness you experienced," she predicts. (Consider us skeptical of that.) Read the rest of her answer.
Can I Tell My Wife I Only Want Another Child If It's A Boy?
I am a father of three beautiful girls. My wife wants to have another child. As much as I love the idea of making our family bigger and having another baby, I am apprehensive about the idea of having another daughter. Don't get me wrong — I love my girls more than anything in the world, but the thought of having four daughters is intimidating.
I have always wanted a son and would be ecstatic if my wife and I had a boy, but there is no way of guaranteeing that. I know that may sound selfish, but is it? Should I discuss with my wife that I want another baby only if it's a boy?
[UExpress]
Harriette Cole gives the letter writer permission to broach the conversation, but realistically. "You can express your concerns to your wife, but be clear that neither you nor she can control the sex of the child that you bring into the world," she writes. Read the rest of her answer.
Can I Shield My Eighth-Grader From Empirical Information About Human Sexuality?
My school district has a sex education program that I don't care for. Parents have the option of signing their children out of the class. I opted out for my two older children. However, this year all of my younger child's friends are taking the class, and I'm receiving a lot of pressure for her to attend. I'm not sure I want my eighth-grader forced to endure several weeks of content on sexually transmitted diseases, contraception and even a childbirth video. Am I wrong to want to shield her from the information in this class?
[Creators]
Catherine Pearlman, also known as the Family Coach, urges the letter writer to consider the benefits of comprehensive sex ed. "Many other cultures begin sex education in kindergarten, as they should," she writes. "Waiting until the teen years to begin the conversation is like trying to cram AP Calculus into just a few sessions." Read the rest of her answer.
