Seven Important Facts To Share This Weekend
An Algorithm Can Invent Imaginary Mating Screams
One of the major elements of upcoming space exploration game No Man's Sky is its vastness. Utilizing a procedurally-generated galaxy, creator Sean Murray estimates it will take players billions of years to fully explore it. Asking a computer to create new and unique planets and moons is easy — asking it to create new and unique living creatures replete with new and unique noises is not. Thankfully, sound designer Paul Weir is a clever guy. By simulating a set of vocal chords, he's created an algorithm capable of synthesizing the chirps, roars and shouts for a near-infinite stable of creatures. What might that sound like? Delightfully horrifying.
There's A Brilliant New Way To Make Drawers
I don't know much about woodworking, but I know enough about woodworkers to assume that there are probably just as many people who think this is stupid as there are that think it's brilliant.1 Practicality aside, what Andrew Klein has managed to do with a simple alteration to the humble miter fold is pretty incredible — even if you have a passing interest in carpentry.
The Avengers Die A Lot
Who avenges the Avengers? A statistical analysis by FiveThrityEight's Walt Hickey found that out of the 173 superheroes on the Avenger's roster, 69 have died… at least once. Even fan-favorite Hawkeye was killed twice over. Thanks to the magic of comics, however, they keep coming back. Just like in real life, where everyone you know and love and hate will eventually die, so too will every Avenger you know and love and hate.
Making Mozzarella Is A Delicate Process
Out of all the cheeses, Mozzarella is the most under-appreciated. It's either a fried batter delivery system, or a sliced tomato and basil delivery system. But it does not need to be the cheese-equivalent of tofu! When made right, like it is at Caseficio Torricelle in Paestum, Italy, it can taste sweet and firm and will not turn into mushy, watery splooge days later.2
Serial Killers Killed Hitchhiking
Remember reading the first third of On the Road and just, like, getting so enamored with the idea of pounding the pavement with your busted-ass huaraches and jumping in the car with strangers. Yeah, neither did I. But the reason why people don't do that anymore is mostly because of society's creeping paranoia around strangers, which is then reflected and intensified by mass media's depiction of Stranger Danger.3
Hasidic Jews Have Created Their Own Kosher Corner Of The Internet
A few weeks ago, the Reply All podcast featured the story of Shulem Deem, a Hasidic man who inadvertently stumbled upon the Internet, fell in love with it and was then forced out of his community. This week, the podcast delves into the kosher Internet, and the ever-evolving compromise the orthodox community must forge with the modern world.
The Human Body Is Full Of Design Flaws
They say that no one is perfect, but truly, at a biomechanical level, we all share the same flaws. Spines struggle to keep us upright; knees specifically engineered to tear ACLs; testicles hang in the breeze begging for punishment; hips narrow enough to turn childbirth into masochistic event; mouths overflow with crooked teeth and so on. Not to invoke Hitler, but if he was looking to create a master race, he picked the wrong one.
They probably don't know how to comment on YouTube videos, however.
PROTIP: Next time you get your hands — hopefully literally — on some fresh mozz, just sprinkle some salt and drizzle some olive oil.
If you think about it, "Dumb and Dumber" is really a modern critique on the Mysterious Stranger trope, where the hitchhikers are actually killed by the two seemingly innocuous drivers.
