The Best (And Worst) Movies To Watch On Paramount's New YouTube Channel
Paramount's new YouTube Channel "The Paramount Vault" makes hundreds of classic1 films available for free on YouTube. You won't find any blockbusters on here, but you might discover a few hidden gems that aren't in your Netflix queue.
The films are broken down into the following categories: Drama, horror, classics, action/adventure, science fiction and comedy. I've picked out the best and the worst in each category for you to enjoy, or to laugh at while playing a drinking game.
Drama
Best: Love Streams (1984)
This movie has a 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, so that has to account for something, right? It's all about a middle-aged brother and sister taking care of each other after their respective relationships fall apart. This film is perfect for after your family's Thanksgiving meal.
Worst: In Dreams (1999)
Robert Downey Jr. plays a psychopath kidnapping young girls while a psychic with weird visions tries to understand what she's seeing. She eventually links minds with RDJ and figures the whole business out. Meh.
Horror
Best: The Loved Ones (2009)
The tag line for this movie is "Hell hath no fury like a prom queen scorned" and features a kidnapped guy forced to attend a "terrifying and demented prom." Its probably better than the 2013 "Carrie Remake" so there's that.
Worst: Ghost Team One (2013)
From Google: "The horny spirit of an Asian prostitute wants a piece of the action when two roommates try to woo a beautiful ghost-hunter who's trying to prove their house is haunted." I'll pass on the ghost-fucking, thanks.
Classics
Best: King Creole (1958)
Elvis gets caught up with some mobsters in one of his earliest screen roles. The film takes places before Elvis entered the army and his music and character reflect the more wild, rock and roll attitude that was shed after his time spent at war. Fact: This makes him cooler.
Worst: A Touch Of Larceny (1959)
In order to impress a British widow, an army man turns traitor and then sues the press for libel. It was boring just typing those words. Put this on when you can't fall asleep.
Action/Adventure
Best: Seven Men From Now (1956)
A classic Western most definitely worth a watch. A stoic cowboy mourns the death of his wife, lost in a fatal freight robbery. He's forced to team up with an old nemesis and some other strange companions making for a film full of guns, deception and other cowboy things. Watch this one with your grandpa if "Bonanza" isn't on TVLand.
Worst: Born To Raise Hell (2010)
I'm not sure that anyone likes Steven Segal to begin with, but just in case you do, here's a reason to stop. You never should have started. This movie has less than 1,000 views on YouTube and it should probably stay that way.
SciFi/Fantasy
Best: I Married A Monster From Outer Space
Despite the supremely campy title, most reviewers agree that this flick is a fairly intelligent and well-acted scifi/horror feature. Follow along as Marge Farrell attempts to figure out why her husband has been acting so strange.
There were a bunch of excellently bad pulp-grade B-Movies in this category, so here are a few.
Worst (1/3): The Deadly Bees (1966)
I haven't seen this movie, but it pretty much has the worst ratings out of all the movies on The Paramount Vault. However, I am of the opinion that you should never let a bad movie get in the way of a good time, so give it a whirl! This is probably up there with "Birdemic" and "Rubber," meaning that it's probably really good if you're really drunk.
Worst (2/3): Masters Of The Universe (1987)
If you thought Dolph Lundgren's acting chops only carried him far enough to play a boxing goon, you'd be right.2 That being said, there is something strangely appealing about a live-action "He Man" with all the ridiculous accoutrements the '80s had to offer. Read the oral history of this zany film here.
Worst (3/3): Crack In The World (1965)
A scientist drilling for magma accidentally cracks the globe and attempts to fix it with a nuclear bomb. Well, there's nothing wrong with that logic, this film must simply be poorly-acted.
Comedy
Best: The Devil And Miss Jones (1941)
The original take on "Undercover Boss," the world's richest man goes incognito in his own business to try and find out which of his workers is trying to unionize. He "sees the light" so to speak and softens up in a Scrooge-like fashion that's likely pretty endearing to watch. I don't know what's so funny about poor labor conditions3 but a lot of people say that Charles Coburn does a good job.
Worst: Funny About Love (1990)
You'd think Gene Wilder is pretty much a ringer when it comes to comedy, but pair him with director Leonard Nimoy4, and this movie is an hour and half of gut-busting agony. For more, we go to Roger Ebert. "'Funny About Love' provides an opportunity to spend 101 minutes in the presence of the most cloying, inane and annoying dialogue I've heard in many a moon, punctuated only by occasional lapses into startling bad manners."
