'I burnt his final letter'

I Couldn't Honor My Little Brother’s Last Wish, And Other Family Drama Stories

I Couldn't Honor My Little Brother’s Last Wish, And Other Family Drama Stories
A missed graduation ceremony might be the end for a father and son.
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Remember those feel-good movie characters from the aughts who'd one day find a troubled family and teach them how to love again? Well, none of them were available, so I'll have to do.

That's right, I've gathered some of the wildest family drama from across Reddit, and now you're invited to my virtual BBQ to hear it all. From failed family vacations to parents knowing when to cut the leash, I'm here to ruin everyone's Thanksgiving, even if we're in May.


My Parents Don't Deserve Closure For What They Did To My Little Brother — Right?

My parents disowned my brother after he came out. They disowned me after I told them to get f—d and drove for 17 hours straight with my husband to pick him up and bring him to live with us.

We were brought up religious and I was the black sheep because I left home to go to college and married an immigrant.

My little brother was the only relative with whom I kept in regular contact. I loved hearing about the family drama without getting dragged into it. I knew my brother was gay for a long time before he told me. It wasn't my place to say anything so I left it for him to tell me on his schedule.

My parents kicked him out with nothing but the clothes he was wearing. He called me to ask what to do. He told me why they kicked him out and I wasn't surprised.

He had been living with us for three years. We found him a counselor. We found him a support group. We got him into community college and he was getting ready to transfer to a four year university. We all missed what was coming.

He left a note. He explained why. He left notes for me, my husband, our kids, and my parents.

My kids will get theirs when they are older. I read mine so much the paper is soft and coming apart at the creases.

I read the letter to my parents. He forgave them. I called my parents to let them know about the funeral and the letter. They said they weren't coming. I burnt it.

My husband disagreed with my decision. I owe them nothing. They asked for it. I wish I had given them a baggy of ashes. But I just told them I burned it unread.

His ashes are here in Austin. As far from Provo as he ever got. I wish he had asked me to take them farther away from those people.

My husband never called me names. And I hung up on my parents and blocked them so if they did I don't know.

I need untainted opinions.

AITAH?

If burning that letter helped you through mourning your little brother, then you made the right choice. If your parents wanted to show up, they would have. It looks like you actually found a peaceful enough way of flicking them off one last time on behalf of your little brother. I know some people in the comments feel like you didn't honor one of his last wishes, but at the end of the day, you knew him best. I'm confident you can pull memories that would support this decision, and how it came from a place of love for him and not just a hatred for those people you had to call parents at one point. Read the rest of the thread here.


My Family Is Mad That I Reminded Them The Value Of $300

I'm moving to another city for work. Since I'm an adult and not a college kid I hired movers.

My parents insisted on coming down to help me pack up. I live in their basement suite. It was cheap and they let me have my privacy. They brought my brother and my nephew. The four of them were as helpful as a bag of used horse condoms. Especially my nephew.

My parents decided to keep him busy by giving him one of my Lego sets to play with. I collect them. What I usually do is buy two of the same one. I build one, put it up for display and leave the other one in the box to trade or sell.

He took it upstairs to stay out of the way then he took it home. All I noticed is that he was out from under foot.

The next day I saw the box on the garbage. I didn't assume. I knew the answer already but I didn't assume. I went upstairs to talk to them. I asked where the Lego box came from. They said they gave it to Travis to keep him busy. I told them that they needed to replace it. They said I was being childish for caring so much about a toy. I said they could replace it or I would file an insurance claim and that would probably require a police report.

My dad got angry. He pulled out $70 and told me I was an asshole for making a fuss over a toy. I asked him if that was a down payment? He said that is what he spent on the last Lego gift he got me for Christmas and that is what those helmets cost.

I showed him the box. I told him to keep his money. He just had to give me a sealed box like the one he stole.

He said he didn't steal anything. He took the box and went to the Lego store nearby.

When he came back he was apologetic. He said he would get it back from my nephew. I said I wanted a sealed box with the Tie Fighter helmet. I even went on eBay to help him find one cheaper than he had found by himself at the collectibles store the guy at the Lego store sent him to. With shipping it would only be $300. He ordered it. He isn't happy about it.

My mom is upset that I'm expecting that much money for a toy. My dad is upset that I didn't explain before he went and made a fool of himself at the store. I'm upset that they stole from me.

AITA?

I'm with all the comments saying you handled this situation well, especially considering how much gaslighting you had to endure. Bottom line, your parents sound like respectable adults, but they could still use a lesson on respecting other people's property. Your parents do not get to bypass these consequences just because they were not thinking at the time. It would be one thing if your Legos were strewn around the floor, but you had them as part of a clear display. Read the rest of the thread here.


I'm About To Graduate High School And Dad's Chosen Not To Be There

I'm (18m) graduating high school at the end of this month. My dad dropped the bomb on me two nights ago that his stepdaughter (14f) has an award ceremony for some competition she entered and won in another state on that same day and that she really wants him to be there. He told me he couldn't possibly make it to both and since his wife and their children together will be going, he needs to be there too. He told me he would make it up to me and we could celebrate another time.

I still live with him (not for much longer). My mom died when I was 7 and my dad got married again when I was 11 or 12. It's been a few years anyway. His stepdaughter never knew her bio dad, so my dad has accepted her as his own. And he has prioritized her a lot in the last five to six years. It doesn't always show in the most obvious ways but it can be felt. Father/son time was put on an indefinite hiatus and instead dad told me we needed to include her in our time together but he also spent time with just her for father/daughter time. I brought it up to my dad and he told me I wasn't exactly making an effort to be closer to her so he wanted us all to bond and didn't want me to just focus on my relationship with him.

He has attended her dance things instead of my basketball games if they're on at the same time. It doesn't matter if mine was known about first, he will still skip my stuff to go to hers.

He will take us on family days and whenever he and his wife say "kids can choose" he picks her choices over mine. He claims it's because they will be the most fun for everyone but really, he even says it afterward, anything his little princess wants.

Our refrigerator and our shower broke at the same time. His stepdaughter's birthday was coming up so he took money from my birthday fund to pay for that stuff and so his stepdaughter would definitely get what she wanted (this Barbie house thing and a whole fashion set and they were I think dad said $250). He didn't get all the money back by the time my birthday came around so instead he bought me a $30 gift card for Steam when he had promised me a new monitor and keyboard for my computer (that was a gift from my grandparents).

When my dad told me he wouldn't be at my graduation to go and support her, I told him there is no making up for that and he can forget about being included in my life going forward. He told me he would make it up to me and I told him I will always come second to his little princess and I'm not going to be okay with that. I told him he's discarded me for the last time. Dad begged me to be reasonable but I walked away. Then I invited both sets of grandparents who agreed to come. His wife told me I could have come with them and I don't need to attend the ceremony but could support "my sister". I said her daughter's not my sister and I do not want to support their family anymore and I will be out of their hair soon. She called me selfish and told me I can't deny her daughter a dad.

AITA?

You need to stand your ground and see what your dad ultimately decides to do. Unfortunately, it seems very likely that he won't show up, so do what you can to prepare yourself for that scenario. I'm with the comments saying you're not in the wrong here. In the end, your dad can't have his cake and eat it too. He needs to know that his actions have consequences too. The same way he can't skip out on things with his other family, he can't skip out on the backlash from you. He’s the only real adult in your family, he needs to start acting like it. Read the rest of the thread here.


Read the previous edition here.


[Image credit: Pixabay]

Comments

  1. Jason V Brock 1 week ago

    Dad needs to be a man and stand up to his wife. He can attend your thing and the wife can attend the daughter's thing. She will have other things, too.


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