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- Thorpe, on 05/07/2008, -12/+742If the page is taking to long to load, here's the text:
We usually don’t write many personal pieces here on TEB, but I just have to share the story of my wife playing GTA IV for the first time. I want to make a couple things clear before I start this absurd story. 1. I love girl gamers. I think its awesome when girls get really into video games and break stereotypes by whooping ass in COD4 or GTA IV multiplayer. I’m not trying to hate on girl gamers. 2. I love my wife and she is very understanding of my video game obsession.
Ok, now that the disclaimer is over, I can proceed with the story.
As of late, much of my time has been spent in the friendly confines of Liberty City, and my wife has been extremely tolerant of my gaming time. Last weekend we were about to go out to eat, so I began shutting the game down when the thought popped in my head, “After watching me play for hours, I wonder if my wife wants a turn?” She was sitting on the couch next to me, so I extended the controller to her and asked, “You wanna drive around for a bit?” She replied, “Sure, why not.” During her time in Liberty City, my wife somehow manage to suck all of the fun out of GTA IV.
I was in some ***** coupe when she took over the wheel, and she began tooling around the city in a leisurely fashion. I mentioned that she might want a slicker ride, and helped her exit the car and attempt to jack another one. She ran up to a car with two homeboys in it and yanked the door open, but that’s when things went horribly wrong. She walked away from the car, and one of the gentlemen came chasing with a baseball bat. In all the excitement, she clicked the left stick sending Niko into a crouch then yelled “Why does my guy keep ducking??” I yelled “Click the left-stick” repeatedly without realizing she would have no idea what that actually meant. Attempting to flee the scene, she crouch-walked down the street only to get whipped some more with by the guy with the bat. Miraculously, somehow she ended up punching the guy several times, knocking him out, and getting his bat. After walking around in circles a few times, it was finally time to leave the scene. As she was leaving, we saw the guy she just beat up limping away. I suggested she finish him off and she said “Awww, that’s not nice, he learned his lesson.” He learned his lesson indeed.
After making it through our first big fight, my wife ran up to a trash dumpster and began repeatedly hitting it with her new baseball bat (because she wanted to swing the bat but hitting people is mean she said). This went on for around 2 minutes before I suggested that she moved on to a different, perhaps more entertaining, activity. She ran over to a huge semi truck and jacked it. I thought to myself “This should be fun, there is no way she is going to be able to drive that around and not get in trouble.” I couldn’t have been more wrong. As the semi began to lumber out of its parking spot my wife exclaimed, “Oooh, you know what will be fun, driving around and obeying all of the traffic rules.” Yeah, because THAT’S what makes GTA IV a great game, obeying all the rules! What the holy hell is wrong here!?!?
My wife played this mind-numbingly boring game of obeying traffic lights for around 5 minutes before accidentally hitting an elderly pedestrian while traveling about 2 miles an hour. My wife gasped and lept from her truck to “check and see if she is ok.” I’m not making this ***** up. I asked my wife, “What are you going to do if she is injured…throw her in your semi and take her to the hospital?” to which she replied, “Can you do that in this game?” Sadly…no. (unfortunately, the poor old woman did not make it through the accident.)
After the tragedy of mowing down the old woman, my wife decided driving a semi was a little to much vehicle for her to handle in a safe manner. She jacked a parked car and immediately was pursued by Liberty City’s finest. Amazingly, she was able to escape the grasp of the long arm of the law (I believe she ran some stoplights during the chase.) That may have been a little too much excitement because after fleeing to safety she decided her time in Liberty City was over. She handed the controller back to me, and I immediately began plugging pedestrians with my shotgun because I was full of pent up GTA rage from watching that lame-ass traffic law game. Seeing my murderous rampage, my wife yelled “Stop! Stop! You’re being like that kid from Virginia Tech!” Seriously, I’m not making this ***** up. Chalk one up for Jack-*****-Thompson. - richmomz, on 05/07/2008, -9/+570"I asked my wife, “What are you going to do if she is injured…throw her in your semi and take her to the hospital?” to which she replied, “Can you do that in this game?' Sadly…no. "
Actually you could have saved her by dialing 911 and requesting an ambulance (they will help injured NPCs). Then your wife could have gone on her merry way obeying traffic laws without feeling guilty, lol. - cbittle, on 05/07/2008, -20/+403I think his wife is the cutest thing to exist since kittens. Dugg for adorable wife behavior.
- Nerfdude, on 05/07/2008, -68/+412We usually don’t write many personal pieces here on TEB, but I just have to share the story of my wife playing GTA IV for the first time. I want to make a couple things clear before I start this absurd story. 1. I love girl gamers. I think its awesome when girls get really into video games and break stereotypes by whooping ass in COD4 or GTA IV multiplayer. I’m not trying to hate on girl gamers. 2. I love my wife and she is very understanding of my video game obsession.
Ok, now that the disclaimer is over, I can proceed with the story.
As of late, much of my time has been spent in the friendly confines of Liberty City, and my wife has been extremely tolerant of my gaming time. Last weekend we were about to go out to eat, so I began shutting the game down when the thought popped in my head, “After watching me play for hours, I wonder if my wife wants a turn?” She was sitting on the couch next to me, so I extended the controller to her and asked, “You wanna drive around for a bit?” She replied, “Sure, why not.” During her time in Liberty City, my wife somehow manage to suck all of the fun out of GTA IV.
I was in some ***** coupe when she took over the wheel, and she began tooling around the city in a leisurely fashion. I mentioned that she might want a slicker ride, and helped her exit the car and attempt to jack another one. She ran up to a car with two homeboys in it and yanked the door open, but that’s when things went horribly wrong. She walked away from the car, and one of the gentlemen came chasing with a baseball bat. In all the excitement, she clicked the left stick sending Niko into a crouch then yelled “Why does my guy keep ducking??” I yelled “Click the left-stick” repeatedly without realizing she would have no idea what that actually meant. Attempting to flee the scene, she crouch-walked down the street only to get whipped some more with by the guy with the bat. Miraculously, somehow she ended up punching the guy several times, knocking him out, and getting his bat. After walking around in circles a few times, it was finally time to leave the scene. As she was leaving, we saw the guy she just beat up limping away. I suggested she finish him off and she said “Awww, that’s not nice, he learned his lesson.” He learned his lesson indeed.
After making it through our first big fight, my wife ran up to a trash dumpster and began repeatedly hitting it with her new baseball bat (because she wanted to swing the bat but hitting people is mean she said). This went on for around 2 minutes before I suggested that she moved on to a different, perhaps more entertaining, activity. She ran over to a huge semi truck and jacked it. I thought to myself “This should be fun, there is no way she is going to be able to drive that around and not get in trouble.” I couldn’t have been more wrong. As the semi began to lumber out of its parking spot my wife exclaimed, “Oooh, you know what will be fun, driving around and obeying all of the traffic rules.” Yeah, because THAT’S what makes GTA IV a great game, obeying all the rules! What the holy hell is wrong here!?!?
My wife played this mind-numbingly boring game of obeying traffic lights for around 5 minutes before accidentally hitting an elderly pedestrian while traveling about 2 miles an hour. My wife gasped and lept from her truck to “check and see if she is ok.” I’m not making this ***** up. I asked my wife, “What are you going to do if she is injured…throw her in your semi and take her to the hospital?” to which she replied, “Can you do that in this game?” Sadly…no. (unfortunately, the poor old woman did not make it through the accident.)
After the tragedy of mowing down the old woman, my wife decided driving a semi was a little to much vehicle for her to handle in a safe manner. She jacked a parked car and immediately was pursued by Liberty City’s finest. Amazingly, she was able to escape the grasp of the long arm of the law (I believe she ran some stoplights during the chase.) That may have been a little too much excitement because after fleeing to safety she decided her time in Liberty City was over. She handed the controller back to me, and I immediately began plugging pedestrians with my shotgun because I was full of pent up GTA rage from watching that lame-ass traffic law game. Seeing my murderous rampage, my wife yelled “Stop! Stop! You’re being like that kid from Virginia Tech!” Seriously, I’m not making this ***** up. Chalk one up for Jack-*****-Thompson. - navster15, on 05/07/2008, -13/+326I think he's being a little hard on his wife. Sometimes in between bouts of mayhem, it can be relaxing to cruise through Algonquin in a drop top without breaking any laws.
- freezerburn666, on 05/07/2008, -37/+298oh its just a game, can you please get over it? do you cry every time you clear a line in tetris?
- inactive, on 05/07/2008, -6/+237I hit a dog with my car (didn't kill him though) by accident when I was a teenager and felt absolutely horrible. I couldn't imagine hitting a human being and yet, yes, I can kill random pixels in GTA with much glee. But that's because GTA doesn't even begin to compare with real life.
- jeremyduffy, on 05/07/2008, -83/+314That's pretty funny, but I kind of agree with this commentor:
"I think it’s respectable. i think your wife has genuine compassion, unlike most f*ckwads playing GTA IV. i wish more people like your wife existed in the world. it would be such a better place."
I'm just not into games where I'm hurting innocent people on purpose.
(Commence perfect storm of digg downs) - thejokell, on 05/07/2008, -59/+279We usually don’t write many personal pieces here on TEB, but I just have to share the story of my wife playing GTA IV for the first time. I want to make a couple things clear before I start this absurd story. 1. I love girl gamers. I think its awesome when girls get really into video games and break stereotypes by whooping ass in COD4 or GTA IV multiplayer. I’m not trying to hate on girl gamers. 2. I love my wife and she is very understanding of my video game obsession.
Ok, now that the disclaimer is over, I can proceed with the story.
As of late, much of my time has been spent in the friendly confines of Liberty City, and my wife has been extremely tolerant of my gaming time. Last weekend we were about to go out to eat, so I began shutting the game down when the thought popped in my head, “After watching me play for hours, I wonder if my wife wants a turn?” She was sitting on the couch next to me, so I extended the controller to her and asked, “You wanna drive around for a bit?” She replied, “Sure, why not.” During her time in Liberty City, my wife somehow manage to suck all of the fun out of GTA IV.
I was in some ***** coupe when she took over the wheel, and she began tooling around the city in a leisurely fashion. I mentioned that she might want a slicker ride, and helped her exit the car and attempt to jack another one. She ran up to a car with two homeboys in it and yanked the door open, but that’s when things went horribly wrong. She walked away from the car, and one of the gentlemen came chasing with a baseball bat. In all the excitement, she clicked the left stick sending Niko into a crouch then yelled “Why does my guy keep ducking??” I yelled “Click the left-stick” repeatedly without realizing she would have no idea what that actually meant. Attempting to flee the scene, she crouch-walked down the street only to get whipped some more with by the guy with the bat. Miraculously, somehow she ended up punching the guy several times, knocking him out, and getting his bat. After walking around in circles a few times, it was finally time to leave the scene. As she was leaving, we saw the guy she just beat up limping away. I suggested she finish him off and she said “Awww, that’s not nice, he learned his lesson.” He learned his lesson indeed.
After making it through our first big fight, my wife ran up to a trash dumpster and began repeatedly hitting it with her new baseball bat (because she wanted to swing the bat but hitting people is mean she said). This went on for around 2 minutes before I suggested that she moved on to a different, perhaps more entertaining, activity. She ran over to a huge semi truck and jacked it. I thought to myself “This should be fun, there is no way she is going to be able to drive that around and not get in trouble.” I couldn’t have been more wrong. As the semi began to lumber out of its parking spot my wife exclaimed, “Oooh, you know what will be fun, driving around and obeying all of the traffic rules.” Yeah, because THAT’S what makes GTA IV a great game, obeying all the rules! What the holy hell is wrong here!?!?
My wife played this mind-numbingly boring game of obeying traffic lights for around 5 minutes before accidentally hitting an elderly pedestrian while traveling about 2 miles an hour. My wife gasped and lept from her truck to “check and see if she is ok.” I’m not making this ***** up. I asked my wife, “What are you going to do if she is injured…throw her in your semi and take her to the hospital?” to which she replied, “Can you do that in this game?” Sadly…no. (unfortunately, the poor old woman did not make it through the accident.)
After the tragedy of mowing down the old woman, my wife decided driving a semi was a little to much vehicle for her to handle in a safe manner. She jacked a parked car and immediately was pursued by Liberty City’s finest. Amazingly, she was able to escape the grasp of the long arm of the law (I believe she ran some stoplights during the chase.) That may have been a little too much excitement because after fleeing to safety she decided her time in Liberty City was over. She handed the controller back to me, and I immediately began plugging pedestrians with my shotgun because I was full of pent up GTA rage from watching that lame-ass traffic law game. Seeing my murderous rampage, my wife yelled “Stop! Stop! You’re being like that kid from Virginia Tech!” Seriously, I’m not making this ***** up. Chalk one up for Jack-*****-Thompson. - canewediggit, on 05/07/2008, -5/+225i still haven't gotten over the great straight piece 4 line massacre of 94. dear god, the horror..........
- Abomonog, on 05/07/2008, -0/+190Then jack the ambulance!
- Monkeydew06, on 05/07/2008, -0/+184I gotta do that now! Mow down a whole block then call an ambulance! BRILLIANT!
- kettlehead, on 05/07/2008, -21/+202“Stop! Stop! You’re being like that kid from Virginia Tech!”
Divorce. - richmomz, on 05/07/2008, -0/+170Even better, call the ambulance, start a fist fight with bystanders, then call the cops! Result: mayhem ensues as cops chase people brawling in the streets while paramedits run around trying to revive people being continuously shot, stabbed, etc. Then when cars start exploding and police helicopters are hovering overhead shooting the crowd, call in the fire department for the finale.
I love this game. - kurupttek, on 05/07/2008, -10/+171"unfortunately, the poor old woman did not make it through the accident"
Best line - falsethinker, on 05/07/2008, -15/+169http://209.85.215.104/search?q=cache:HdZQfLl-EIkJ: ...
- tvnews, on 05/07/2008, -1/+136Its not as bad as a girl I know. First thing she discovered was that you could watch TV in your apartment on GTA. So instead of playing the game she just watched TV.
- vypergts, on 05/07/2008, -3/+136“Oooh, you know what will be fun, driving around and obeying all of the traffic rules.”
I almost crapped when I read that because the other day when I was playing my wife asked "how come you never stop at the traffic lights?" The best I could come up with was to mumble something about breaking the flow of the game and then proceeded to hit some pedestrians.
Maybe this is some new untapped female gamer market and someone should make a game where all you do is sit in traffic because apparently THAT would sell. - Raedyn, on 05/07/2008, -7/+136This totally cracked me up. I could imagine watching it myself... and it would have drove me crazy!
- Gullop, on 05/07/2008, -7/+111I remember when duggmirror used to be good :(
- RolltheStampede, on 05/07/2008, -3/+106Funny when let my female friend play all she did was run around fighting people and running over pedestrians.
- amadeusdemarzi, on 05/07/2008, -11/+111Totally agree here.
I think it's actually pretty cute that she would drive around the city like that and if anything it should make him smile! :)
If the guy really had pent up rage by watching his wife do that, I think the Virginia Tech comment might be pretty appropriate :P. - TBoneFever, on 05/07/2008, -0/+94Then mow down another block.
- Tyrghast, on 05/07/2008, -1/+86TYVM, the website was down for me. a whole 'quoth the server: 404' situation.
- gambl0r, on 05/07/2008, -1/+85I've tried to obey traffic laws in GTA games before just for the hell of it... I usually get about two blocks before it drives me crazy and I rear-end the car in front of me
- Monkeydew06, on 05/07/2008, -1/+85REPEAT!
- Pulch, on 05/07/2008, -0/+83??????
PROFIT!!! - jgtg32a, on 05/07/2008, -0/+77I really hope you're not lying about this it just sounds so awesome.
- Rooker156, on 05/07/2008, -11/+87Story was good up until the last line.
- TheKingInYellow, on 05/07/2008, -0/+76in vice city, my wife looked up cheat codes and drove around listening to 80's music in her flying tank...it was the most boring thing for me to watch but she enjoyed it.
- ancalagon73, on 05/07/2008, -0/+75Maybe she just liked being able to control the remote?
- whodatis, on 05/07/2008, -7/+81mirror?
"This Account Has Exceeded Its CPU Quota" - Po0py, on 05/07/2008, -1/+74I remember back in the day whilst playing the first version of GTA 3 (the other liberty city) I handed my controller over to my little sister who was seven years old at the time. The first thing she did was take the car onto the side of the road and mow about twenty people down. God bless her.
- DanNZN, on 05/07/2008, -3/+73I can not watch my wife playing games as it is painful. I always want to "suggest" to her what would be more fun. In the end we like doing different things even in the same game. After many arguments I learned to just let her play in peace.
- artofwar420, on 05/07/2008, -0/+65Thanks for the paste.
- o0joshua0o, on 05/07/2008, -6/+69My only longstanding criticism of the GTA series is the lack of non-violent ways to interact with NPCs.
- cannonball, on 05/07/2008, -1/+62Thanks for posting this.
BTW, I think you CAN help people by dialing 911 for medical attention. - adriaaan, on 10/12/2008, -1/+61Well played sirs.
- mentallyinhell, on 05/07/2008, -7/+62Sadly enough, I believe this guy. I've let people play that act like they're trying to win citizen of the year award.
- djnitro, on 05/07/2008, -2/+56They came for my L shaped pieces... and I said nothing.
They came for my upside down T pieces... and I said nothing. - theboozer, on 05/07/2008, -16/+69Dear god in heaven. GIVE ME THE CONTROLLER, WOMAN!
(*sound of shotgun cocking) - lintmonkey, on 05/07/2008, -2/+54No one's *making* you kill the hooker.
- CedEx, on 05/07/2008, -1/+51I just watch and laugh as my gf plays shooter video games. She would rather spend all her time exploring and studying the details of the environment rather than shooting, often to the point where people are shooting her in the back while she reads a poster on the wall.
- mV0G7, on 05/07/2008, -6/+50Well if she's a girl and played a video game, she has to be hot, right?
That's Xbox Live logic for ya. - elhaf, on 05/07/2008, -4/+47I'm glad you are at work so I can continue partaking of your sweet sweet fiancee.
- gerardoc, on 05/07/2008, -0/+42I'm guilty of this myself.....I've tried to obey the laws if only for a minute or two.
- tiraid, on 05/07/2008, -1/+42That's messed up. You're supposed to Jack the cars and Thompson the pedestrians.
- iticu, on 05/07/2008, -2/+42It's called driver.
- MillionsLivio, on 05/07/2008, -4/+43I'd argue it's more rewarding.
- munkyxtc, on 05/07/2008, -0/+39the interaction between the NPC's is one thing that make this game great. I've never gone as far as you describe and I'm going to actually try this later, but I've had cases where people chase me down and I'll stand next to the cops; next time they throw a punch the cops arrest them; also try getting chased by the cops then hoping out of your car. Once the cops chase you on foot blow up their car and take off again; they'll grab a car off the street and keep coming after you. These types of details are what make this game stand out from previous versions.
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