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The 25 Secret Perks of Working at Google
cracked.com — The following list of lesser-heralded employee perks should provide an idea of just how far Google goes to keep the human pistons of its search engine pumping contentedly.
msaleem- 1621 diggs
- digg it
- mojaam, on 11/01/2007, -39/+9What's the source for this list?
- robbyjo, on 11/04/2007, -10/+6I think it's just a humor.
- krets, on 10/30/2007, -1/+11Really? You don't think Google matches $401,000 for every dollar you put into your 401K?
- Philluminati, on 10/30/2007, -3/+1I got to number 5 before I realised it was all *****. The one where they say employees get 20% free project time and they've seen a 20% raise in masterbation is a classic.
- zeitgueist, on 10/30/2007, -2/+3I figured it out a bit earlier....probably, ya know, when i saw it was on CRACKED ***** DOT COM
- Scaryclouds, on 10/30/2007, -0/+1That one just might be true...
- raynar, on 10/31/2007, -2/+4god i hate digg now...
- kevyn, on 11/02/2007, -0/+36I was wondering who would not get the joke first... even with number 8
"8. To encourage collaboration, the hallways at Google are lined with whiteboards where employees can jot down ideas. To encourage active collaboration, these whiteboards are dusted with cocaine."
you still didn't guess this was a joke?- CedEx, on 10/30/2007, -4/+1Seemed like a valid perk to me at the time. Hmm... I should probably jot these tips down, morale has been a bit low around here these days...
- ccheath, on 10/30/2007, -0/+1#2 made me wonder... then i read on to #3 and it was forgone that this was a humorous list
- murf43143, on 10/31/2007, -4/+3For every $1.00 invested you get $401,000.000....
Yea think it is a joke............- inigomntoya, on 10/31/2007, -1/+3Took you that long, eh?
- loneBoat, on 10/30/2007, -2/+6Someone looked it up on google.
- brundlefly76, on 10/31/2007, -3/+7"For recent computer science grads accepting an engineering position with Google, a popular social event is Google's "New Employee Orientation and Arranged Virginity-Loss Night.""
Probably the last event I would want to attend is 30 Bangladeshi men on HB-1 Visas losing their virginity to each other. - MtheoryX, on 10/31/2007, -2/+3woosh.
- robbyjo, on 11/04/2007, -10/+6I think it's just a humor.
- mrbubbleboy, on 11/01/2007, -14/+7They also allow dogs in the office. It's like a little petting zoo in there.
- ZaNkY, on 11/01/2007, -3/+30there is no source. It's meant as humor with a few known facts/rumors thrown in for good measure.
- rudy23, on 10/31/2007, -11/+2havent such a lame list in a whiile.
- Dunadan, on 10/31/2007, -1/+13haven't such lame grammar in a while.
- rudy23, on 10/31/2007, -11/+2havent such a lame list in a whiile.
- treelovinhippie, on 11/01/2007, -3/+242. For recent computer science grads accepting an engineering position with Google, a popular social event is Google's "New Employee Orientation and Arranged Virginity-Loss Night."
http://hookers.google.com
? :D- inigomntoya, on 10/31/2007, -0/+10Hmm. Your link must be dead. Mirror anyone?
- latova, on 10/31/2007, -8/+1http://www.google.com/search?q=hookers
- inigomntoya, on 10/30/2007, -1/+2I already know how to do a google search, thanks!
- latova, on 10/31/2007, -1/+1Np. Just trying to help people find what they're interested in.
- Scaryclouds, on 10/31/2007, -1/+1If you really think there is a hookers.google inigonmntya you sir are a moron
If you are point out latova's either blind stupidity or poor attempt to be funny you are of above average intelligence.- latova, on 10/31/2007, -0/+1If you are bad grammar etc insert something about below average intelligence.
- inigomntoya, on 10/30/2007, -1/+2I already know how to do a google search, thanks!
- brad3378, on 10/31/2007, -0/+1Whoa!
The Digg effect finally took down a google website!
- latova, on 10/31/2007, -8/+1http://www.google.com/search?q=hookers
- texpundit, on 11/02/2007, -0/+16I'm glad I'm not the only one who clicked on that link expecting *something.* *shakes head*
- SamKellett, on 10/30/2007, -0/+10Come April the 1st and we'll see...
- undersky, on 11/01/2007, -2/+1probably with a man
- inigomntoya, on 10/31/2007, -0/+10Hmm. Your link must be dead. Mirror anyone?
- robocop1, on 11/01/2007, -12/+1Sauce?
- KokomoNYC, on 11/01/2007, -2/+16I hear they also make Steve Guttenberg a star.
- AuburnTigers, on 11/01/2007, -2/+10... and they hold back the electric car.
- jon30041, on 11/02/2007, -0/+15They keep Atlantis off the maps, too. Can't forget that one.
- Matteos, on 10/30/2007, -0/+3Don't they control the British crown?
And keep the metric system down? - Zippo, on 10/30/2007, -0/+3I heard they also rob cavefish of their sight and rig every Oscar night.
- Matteos, on 10/30/2007, -0/+3Don't they control the British crown?
- jon30041, on 11/02/2007, -0/+15They keep Atlantis off the maps, too. Can't forget that one.
- AuburnTigers, on 11/01/2007, -2/+10... and they hold back the electric car.
- AuburnTigers, on 11/01/2007, -1/+29How long did it take you to realize it's a joke? I got to number 4.
- richmessenger, on 11/03/2007, -3/+46When I clicked the link and realized I was on Cracked.com.
- andy0484, on 10/30/2007, -2/+1...two weeks of "Crushing Sense of Incompleteness Leave."
- Firehed, on 10/30/2007, -0/+2Reading the URL of _this_ page and knowing that it can't be too secret if this was the fourth time it's been posted.
- ImOscar, on 10/31/2007, -0/+4I didn't realize I was at Cracked.com. It took me til #5, although I thought "WTF, really?" to #4.
- MightyMan908, on 10/30/2007, -0/+1#5 made my go wtf and #6 confirmed it for me it was fake.
- atdakore, on 11/01/2007, -7/+1lol really fun piece imo
- pjs1840, on 10/31/2007, -0/+38Wow, Cracked's new layout looks like *****.
- str3ama, on 10/30/2007, -27/+1"Virginity-Loss Night"
sounds like bs...what's with the random pics as well?- sacherjj, on 10/30/2007, -0/+2Do you REALLY want to see that?
- goeatsmsht, on 11/02/2007, -4/+10Or, "25 reasons your job sucks"
- BobTurtle, on 10/30/2007, -3/+1You not only didn't read the story, but you also didn't read the previous comments which explain that this story is a ***** JOKE. Nice job.
- goeatsmsht, on 10/30/2007, -0/+1So sorry BobTurtle,
I'll make sure to use the /sarcasm tag for people like you who don't know humor.
- Pxtl, on 10/31/2007, -2/+7Google engineers are given "20 percent time" in which they are free to pursue their own personal projects. This incentive has produced such efforts as Gmail, Google News, and 20% more employee masturbation.
Funny. The rest, not so much. - mikehill33, on 10/31/2007, -6/+326 - Knowing they smoke Digg without lifting a pinky!
- dboy3587, on 10/30/2007, -1/+3cause Digg competitive search engine
- ZPWeeks, on 11/03/2007, -0/+5Ever hear of verbs?
- dboy3587, on 10/30/2007, -1/+3cause Digg competitive search engine
- xposiactionx, on 10/31/2007, -4/+23Bummed. Thought this would atleast make me chuckle... but no. Not funny.
- asura, on 10/31/2007, -1/+3Xeni Jardin is Buzz Aldrin's co-pilot?
- decapitron, on 11/02/2007, -5/+20http://kab0b0.blogspot.com/2007/10/top-ten-reasons ...
Am I the only one sick of CRACKED releasing a dumb-as-hell top X list and it immediately getting dugg by hundreds/thousands?
DURR google does stuff like the Internet.- oldhick, on 10/30/2007, -0/+1So launch a bury brigade to compete with Cracked's DIGG brigade.
- gglynn07, on 10/30/2007, -0/+4They didn't release a dumb-as-hell top X list, it was a dumb-as-hell top XXV list...
- decapitron, on 10/30/2007, -0/+1i actually meant X as a variable for any number.. but the concept is the same :D
- NStuart88, on 10/31/2007, -7/+5One of the best perks of working for Google is actually working for Google.
- keenada, on 10/31/2007, -5/+2In case you hadn't noticed, it's satire.
- Scaryclouds, on 10/31/2007, -0/+3Thank you Sherlock
- diggslp, on 10/31/2007, -3/+2They had me at sapphire filled hacky-sacks.
- GeneralJoey, on 10/31/2007, -2/+1dugg b/c #2 made me fall out of my chair!
- Neatchee, on 10/31/2007, -1/+1#3 was my literal rofl inducer
- nphase, on 11/02/2007, -0/+10Damn, I'd like a "Crushing Sense of Incompleteness Leave."
- Firehed, on 11/02/2007, -0/+6I'd never come into work if they allowed that.
/sadness
- Firehed, on 11/02/2007, -0/+6I'd never come into work if they allowed that.
- dertykevin, on 10/30/2007, -2/+4Pretty weak satire imo. I would have liked to seen a list of the real peaks...
- tljff9, on 10/30/2007, -3/+1LMAO at #12.. That's probably true for the earliest Google employees.
http://www.hubsess.com - angrycat, on 10/31/2007, -2/+5They don't allow cats?! I morally cannot support a company that doesn't condone kitties, looks like I'm back to using Yahoo now.
- spyrochaete, on 10/30/2007, -0/+3If you have morals I don't think the Chinese dissident-quashing Yahoo is the company for you.
- gglynn07, on 10/30/2007, -1/+2I applied for a job at one of Google's new server farms...no response :( ...I know that this list was meant to be funny, but it is only making fun of the absurd perks that you do get working for Google.
- happytedium, on 11/02/2007, -2/+11â€"
Totally. - jonr, on 10/30/2007, -3/+12 and 3 had me going... (I get no. 2 here, actually)
- modex, on 10/30/2007, -0/+1No you don't.
- modex, on 10/31/2007, -2/+1http://duggmirror.com
- pennpaper, on 10/30/2007, -3/+1Buried as "Not Industry News".
- Truzseeker, on 10/31/2007, -7/+2Story buried - - SEE ..
Ex-Agent: CIA Seed Money Helped Launch Google
http://www.nowpublic.com/ex_agent_cia_seed_money_h ...
Now why would I care about a website that spies on me ?- ZPWeeks, on 10/30/2007, -0/+4Your spam/paranoia buried. One guy who runs a conspiracies website that doesn't link to real sources isn't enough for me.
- shadowblade989, on 10/30/2007, -5/+1That was a waste of my time.
- Nurven, on 10/30/2007, -3/+1"20% more employee masturbation"
- jesuswuzanalien, on 10/30/2007, -3/+1Inaccurate title. Should be: The 25 Not-So-Secret-Anymore Perks of Working at Google.
- fl00d, on 10/30/2007, -3/+2I admit it. I got to number 8. I never even looked at the url. Damn you, cracked!
- oscrmyer, on 10/30/2007, -3/+0Hi I like to take jokes from the simpsons and family guy and post them as my own on the internet.
- LoopyChew, on 10/30/2007, -1/+2Well, I've seen the on-site trailer salons (they have one for dentistry, too!), but I'm really thankful I wasn't around for the employee masturbation.
- LBobRife, on 10/30/2007, -1/+2Does this remind anybody of Chuck Norris jokes? They're the same type of humor, just with a different subject.
- pengas, on 10/30/2007, -0/+2"...To encourage active collaboration, these whiteboards are dusted with cocaine..."..
Really??? - rsmithrun, on 10/30/2007, -0/+1Wasn't even funny O_o
- GuitaristTom, on 10/31/2007, -1/+3Seriously... this isn't funny at all... I guess u just have to put the word Google in your title and you get 1000 diggs and the front page
- Darcy, on 11/07/2007, -1/+2Anything with the following in the title, is almost guaranteed to make the front page:-
- Google (special bonus if it also includes anti-MS content)
- Apple, iPhone, leopard, ipod (anything else to do with apple; special bonus if it also includes anti-MS content)
- Ubuntu (special bonus if it also includes anti-MS content)
- M$, Vista, brown zune sux
- Anything to do with a list
- RIAA, DRM, patents and all the other evil stuff
- Any country, state, city, university, cornershop switching to Linux (special bonus if it also includes anti-MS content)
- Darcy, on 11/07/2007, -1/+2Anything with the following in the title, is almost guaranteed to make the front page:-
- itux1985, on 10/30/2007, -1/+0I still want a copy of Google OS. Hire me Google, I could be your mascot...
- decker12, on 10/30/2007, -0/+1Buried for being misleading, not "tech news", and not really that funny.
- mr_wej, on 10/30/2007, -0/+1Lame.
- undersky, on 10/30/2007, -0/+1stalking your friends' google search term anyone? (if u know their ip, which is quite easy to figure out. go to their house and go to whatismyip.com)
- eOgas, on 10/31/2007, -0/+1Is it bad that this just makes me want to work there more?
- beefy6969, on 10/31/2007, -0/+0I had a tour of google last week, courtesy of my friend that works there. We arrived in style, free valet parking. Then I went to eat lunch and it was like eating at a Vegas buffet with Wolfgang Puck serving you. I was in heaven. I was shocked when they said there are 12 more cafeterias like this. What's funny is I can hear employees chatting among themeselve saying, "food sucks today". Hahaha...wtf? They also have a snacks cabinet in which rivaled a quickie mart (all the snacks you want). I then grabbed the free employee mtn bikes parked outside and rode to another building to get a massage. Too bad it was not free. I even saw employees drinking coconut juice out of real coconuts, working with their laptops on lazy-boy recliners. Can you believe that? Hell, they even have a movie theater walking distance away.
- JustMatt, on 10/31/2007, -0/+1does anyone else ever feel guilty digging stories with 1337 diggs? ah well... 1338 it is.
- digirat, on 10/31/2007, -0/+2I didn't realize it was a joke until I got to the cocaine-dusted whiteboards
>:(
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