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Rise of the (ATM) Machines

guardian.co.uk — You know things are bad in South Africa when even the ATM's are defending themselves.

Who dugg this? Made popular Jul 12, 2009

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  • darknecross, on 07/12/2009, -0/+77ATM Machine, aka, Automated Teller Machine Machine.
  • FOR3MAN, on 07/12/2009, -1/+38The machines rose from the ashes of the nuclear fire. Their war to exterminate mankind had raged for decades, but the final battle would not be fought in the future. It would be fought here, in our present, over your moneyz.
  • imikedaman, on 07/12/2009, -0/+20*sigh*

    1. Chicago is not in Africa.
    2. Shotguns are not pepper spray.
    3. Banks hold your money.
  • primatage, on 07/12/2009, -1/+21I'd be too afraid to use one.
  • absolutelytrue, on 07/12/2009, -1/+20It's about time the ATMs started aggressively fighting back. Will they still do the passive aggressive ***** like keeping your card and mangling checks?
  • TobiasParker, on 07/12/2009, -0/+14Pepperspray != Shotgun
  • vsujohn2, on 07/12/2009, -0/+13Be careful, those ass to mouth machines are dangerous!
  • wampalord, on 07/12/2009, -0/+13The machines that require your Personal Identification Number Number
  • sjbdallas, on 07/12/2009, -0/+11The worst part is the $3 it charges to take out $20.
  • sjbdallas, on 07/12/2009, -2/+11Looks like our war with the banks has been taken to a new level.
  • primatage, on 07/12/2009, -0/+8Those were the old models. They were easy to spot.
  • primatage, on 07/12/2009, -0/+8I'd hate to see how it reacts when someone tries to withdraw more than their daily limit.
  • laultima23, on 07/12/2009, -1/+9"stun the culprit while police response teams race to the scene"

    I grew up in SA, what "police"?
  • martage, on 07/12/2009, -0/+7Relax guys, this is just some more viral marketing for District 9.
  • waydee, on 07/13/2009, -0/+7South Africa is nuts, I can't believe the World Cup is being held there next year - I don't mean any offence but the crime situation is out of hand in parts.
  • vsujohn2, on 07/12/2009, -0/+6Laying back is the more comfortable way to do it, otherwise your neck starts to hurt and its not as fun.
  • Shmebber, on 07/12/2009, -0/+6Another case of ARS Syndrome (Acronym Redundancy Syndrome Syndrome).
  • georgiecasey, on 07/12/2009, -0/+6Lolz... you need to lay back on the porn son!
  • eigenweasel, on 07/13/2009, -0/+5If you ignore the rape epidemic, the car-jacking, AIDS, mass unemployment, the power cuts, the illegal immigration, the incompetent police and the political corruption, its actually a nice place.
  • jedinate, on 07/13/2009, -0/+5Sounds like they need someone to Rage Against the (ATM) Machine.
  • jemka, on 07/13/2009, -1/+5Automatic Teller Machine Machines
  • guinpen, on 07/12/2009, -1/+5so what's to stop them from just pulling up wearing a mask?
  • inactive, on 07/12/2009, -0/+4I'm so glad I'm not the only person whose mind went there.
  • directedition, on 07/12/2009, -0/+4That's why I enter my PIN number into.
  • zoomaKabu, on 07/13/2009, -0/+4Why has South Africa become a hell hole?
  • eigenweasel, on 07/13/2009, -0/+3They do nothing.
  • HavocXphere, on 07/13/2009, -0/+3I've seen some of the insider pictures of those attacks (the back/side of the ATMs). People don't understand the level of organization & pure firepower going into these events. They rock up with a full set of power tools, generators, industrial explosive, AKs, grenades etc. Usually coordinated by a syndicate w/ access to inside info.

    Pepper-spray is so hilariously inadequate as a response that I'm not sure whether I should be laughing or crying. Whats need is dedicated military teams with preemptive shoot to kill authorization. (They are already fixing the legislation to allow the military to escourt the cash in transit vans).

    Mad kudos to the police responding to these events. They are out-gunned, out-numbered and out-coordinated. Oh, and paid peanuts.
  • forevernomad, on 07/12/2009, -0/+3Same place as everyone else.
    http://cgi.ebay.com/SEA-%2F-Scott-Full-Face-Gas-Ma ...
  • primatage, on 07/12/2009, -1/+4No doubt. In normal usage it annoys the hell out of me too.
  • odkin, on 07/13/2009, -0/+3Yeah, things are SO much better there since all the infrastructure and political power was given away to the fine indiginous people.

    Say what you want, but some cultures build, and other cultures destroy.
  • dhichens, on 07/13/2009, -0/+3Yeah, same here. This is the country where you can report a murder and they'll ask: "do you want us to send a car around?"

    What the ATM machines REALLY need to do is go the route of some South Africans with their cars.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fDrzMGdYWZc

    Just add fire :)
  • illDecree, on 07/13/2009, -1/+3aren't they called 'african americans' for a reason??

    ......
  • immatellyouwhat, on 07/13/2009, -0/+2OPTIONSSS MEEENUUU!!!!!!!


    *Lebouf
  • ciano, on 07/12/2009, -2/+4ATM machines? Somebody better call the Department of Redundancy Department.
  • anonymou38, on 07/12/2009, -0/+2I clicked the link b/c of the picture. I thought an ATM had killed some dude, but alas, it's only armed with pepper spray.
  • JudgeMonkey, on 07/13/2009, -0/+2Let's just hope they use security cameras too. Then hopefully someone will release a nice compilation on youtube of this thing going off and shooting some old lady in the face, or a baby someone is carrying.

    It's already been proven to malfunction.
  • nugz85, on 07/13/2009, -0/+2ok, rise of the atm achines
  • Joshislong, on 07/12/2009, -1/+3This seems pretty pointless. All a thief would need is a respirator and he is free to explode any cash machine he wants to.
  • inactive, on 07/13/2009, -0/+2So what happens when you try to withdraw cash when you don't have funds available? Does a robotic arm wearing a large white glove holding a wooden paddle pop out and chase you away.
  • 4rp4n3t, on 07/13/2009, -0/+2Riiight. And so a gun fight ensues, with a pretty good chance that some customers will be caught in the crossfire and killed or injured...
  • CraazyMike, on 07/13/2009, -0/+2Automated Terror Machines
  • primatage, on 07/13/2009, -0/+1somebody better read the rest of the comments before they rape monty python.
  • macromorgan, on 07/13/2009, -0/+1Sometimes, in the heat of the moment, it's okay.
  • 4rp4n3t, on 07/13/2009, -1/+2A classic example of RAS syndrome ;)
  • aforsberg, on 07/13/2009, -0/+1Hmm what about googles?
  • ronaldinho, on 07/12/2009, -1/+2I think it's time to arm the bank employees instead of having an armed robber knowing that the bank is weaponless
  • ericthesalmon, on 07/12/2009, -0/+1A machine that shoots pepper spray when it feels threatened? Bump up the stakes a bit, add some crazy and you have Jipi and the Paranoid Chip:
    http://www.vanemden.com/books/neals/jipi.html
  • usernameblank, on 07/13/2009, -0/+1you never go ass to mouth
  • inactive, on 07/17/2009, -0/+1Do I seriously have to add /sarc at the end of such a statement? It's South AFRICA. It's a joke. Jesus ***** Christ Digg really is attracting the myspace crowd.
  • ronaldinho, on 07/12/2009, -1/+2yes, really unnecessary indeed. digg down, fella
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