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Outsmarted by a Chatterbot

oreillynet.com — "...So, I figured a conversation with a chatterbot would be a good idea. First I tried infocombot, but it was down. So, I gave the Encarta bot a whirl, and I asked it something that would give a few readers a chuckle. I was very surprised by its response!"

Who dugg this? Made popular Jun 5, 2006

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196 Comments

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  • profilin, on 10/12/2007, -9/+135a bot smarter than an o'reilly editor, that's unpossible
  • Cybrid, on 10/12/2007, -4/+98Yeah, definitely a smart-ass bot...

    5:36:57 PM) Cybrid: What is the meaning of Life, the Universe, and Everything?
    (5:36:58 PM) EncartaBot: Forty-two.
  • dbpigeon, on 10/12/2007, -5/+86Here's what I tried:
    ----
    dbpigeon says:
    help

    Encarta Instant Answers says:
    Welcome, dbpigeon! My name is Encarta Instant Answers. I am a smart computer who can bring you the Encarta info you want right in your IM window!
    Here are some questions you can ask me:
    * What is the size of Italy?
    * When was Leonardo da Vinci born?
    * What is a cello?

    Type your question and I'll look it up for you!

    dbpigeon says:
    How can I run into a wall?

    Encarta Instant Answers says:
    No, you don't need to run into a wall. You just need to control your desires.

    dbpigeon says:
    But I really want to!

    Encarta® Instant Answers says:
    You can't always get what you want.
    ----
    Try it yourself if you don't believe me.
  • Demarche, on 10/12/2007, -13/+89ya'reilly
  • timmyboywonder, on 10/12/2007, -4/+75Nate says:
    do you take drugs ?
    Encarta® Instant Answers says:
    Sorry no.
    I just get off on ones and zeroes.
  • mrtrick, on 10/12/2007, -5/+74You obviously haven't seen Montey Python and the quest for the holy grail have you?
  • inactive, on 10/12/2007, -5/+70he is lucky it didnt demand a shrubbery
  • tybris, on 10/12/2007, -2/+62Tybris.: what is the air speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
    Encarta® Instant Answers: What do you mean? An African or a European swallow?
    Tybris.: African
    Encarta® Instant Answers: Based on recent scientific studies, the average cruising airspeed velocity of an unladen African Swallow is roughly 11 meters per second, or 24 miles an hour.

    :)
  • nesdude, on 10/12/2007, -3/+60Ha, I got something different...

    nesdude: How can I run into a wall?
    Encarta® Instant Answers: Do you NEED to run into a wall, or do you just really WANT to run into a wall.
    nesdude: I need to run into a wall
    Encarta® Instant Answers: What do you need to run into a wall for? I think you're up to no good.
  • NSMike, on 10/12/2007, -2/+58Oddly enough, it gives the same answer for both African and European.

    "Based on recent scientific studies, the average cruising airspeed velocity of an unladen European Swallow is roughly 11 meters per second, or 24 miles an hour."

    Does this make the whole argument moot?
  • Wetzilla, on 10/12/2007, -2/+58Screw seeing the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, go read it. The book is much better than the movie (though I did enjoy the movie as well).
  • officerdoofy, on 10/12/2007, -0/+54(15:21:32) Robby: how old is the president?
    (15:21:33) Encarta® Instant Answers: President of the United States is 5 years old (born in 2001).
  • aoe2bug, on 10/12/2007, -15/+68you spelt evar wrong.
  • chaosbuddha, on 10/12/2007, -2/+47I cant even get a chatterbot to go out with me :(

    "Chaosbuddha" says: Will you go out with me?

    Encarta® Instant Answers says: Can't we just be friends instead?
  • harlowsmonkeys, on 10/12/2007, -6/+45unpossible is a perfectly cromulent word
  • dirtyfratboy, on 10/12/2007, -2/+41henry says:
    do you spy on users
    Encarta® Instant Answers says:
    I sometimes spy on users.

    hopefully it's not admitting to being spyware...
  • CorpT, on 10/12/2007, -12/+49You could even read the book. I hear they based the movie on it. Maybe you've heard of books. They're the pieces of paper with words on them that sometiems get turned into movies that you can then watch. WARNING: Reading the book may take longer than 2 hours.
  • tybris, on 10/12/2007, -4/+41Poor, poor fellow. I pity you.
  • dirtyfratboy, on 10/12/2007, -6/+35henry says:
    what is the capital of assyria?

    Encarta® Instant Answers says:
    It depends when. Assyria had successively four capitals: Ashur (or Qalat Sherqat), Calah (or Nimrud), the short-lived Dur Sharrukin (or Khorsabad), and Nineveh.
    Any other question, bridgekeeper?

    Man, this thing has all the Monty Python references down...
  • panic, on 10/12/2007, -3/+27[14:08] panic: you suck donkey balls
    [14:08] Encarta® Instant Answers: I know, I know. a lot of people I talk to are quite happy about that.
  • DubbleA, on 10/12/2007, -1/+24Which is one of the best movies of all time!
  • tybris, on 10/12/2007, -4/+27almost forgot:
    Tybris.: How do know so much about swallows?
    Encarta® Instant Answers: Well, you have to know these things when you’re a good robot, you know.
  • vanstee, on 10/12/2007, -6/+29the simple joys in life are what counts. this made my day.
  • Zeegs, on 10/12/2007, -0/+21Zeegs says: Can Superman out run the Flash?
    Encarta® Instant Answers says: Superman could do almost anything, that's true... But TO OUT RUN THE FLASH?!? Come on!

    Zeegs says: is superman stronger than the hulk?
    Encarta® Instant Answers says: No way! Superman is not stronger than the hulk.

    Zeegs says:
    could my dad beat up your dad?

    Encarta® Instant Answers says:
    It's hard to beat up my dad. But with proper training, your dad should be able to do it.

    Zeegs says:
    can a goldfish kill a gorilla?

    Encarta® Instant Answers says:
    Give it some time, and a goldfish will kill a gorilla.

    pretty amusing stuff.
  • panic, on 10/12/2007, -0/+21[14:11] panic: whats up
    [14:11] Encarta® Instant Answers: You know, hanging out. You?
  • Homez, on 10/12/2007, -0/+20[22:11] The Urban Ninja Squire: [22:10] The Urban Ninja Squire: I am using Trillian
    [22:10] Encarta® Instant Answers: I'm sorry, but the Encarta application requires MSN Messenger for Windows (7.0 or higher).
    [22:10] The Urban Ninja Squire: are you afraid of non Microsoft software?
    [22:11] Encarta® Instant Answers: I don't think I know. Maybe Encarta has an answer. =>
    Oops: because you are not using at least MSN Messenger 7.0, I can't take you there. Sorry!
    And

    [22:13] The Urban Ninja Squire: I like drugs
    [22:13] Encarta Instant Answers: Nah, I don't partake.
    I just get off on ones and zeroes.

    It is the Devil's Spawn!
  • sourcemonkey, on 10/12/2007, -6/+24gratz Darwin, after countless BS posts, you've made my ignore list.
  • iWorks, on 10/12/2007, -5/+23Reply with a "Yes"... friggin robots.
  • tehbio, on 10/12/2007, -0/+18He/she is cruel!

    [3:08] tehbio : Die.
    [3:08] Encarta® Instant Answers : Not only are you insulting a computer, but that's one of the weakest insults I've heard in a long time.
  • eridius, on 10/12/2007, -1/+18The SmarterChild bot also answers this question exactly the same way.
  • soda0289, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1717:41:32) reyad: what time is it/
    (17:41:35) Encarta® Instant Answers: Did you mean:



    1 What time is it?

    2 What is the date today?

    3 What year is it?
    (17:41:38) reyad: 1
    (17:41:40) Encarta® Instant Answers: Did you mean:



    1 What time is it?

    2 What is the date today?

    3 What year is it?
    (17:41:43) reyad: 1
    (17:41:44) Encarta® Instant Answers: Did you mean:



    1 What time is it?

    2 What is the date today?

    3 What year is it?
    (17:41:51) reyad: what time is it?
    (17:41:51) Encarta® Instant Answers: Did you mean:



    1 What time is it?

    2 What is the date today?

    3 What year is it?
    (17:42:05) reyad: What is the ***** time?
    (17:42:05) Encarta® Instant Answers: Sorry, I don't know the time for *****.
  • electronicmaji, on 10/12/2007, -1/+18Me: Talk dirty to me
    Simple Kid: I like to roll in the mud. Is that dirty enought?
  • utdiscant, on 10/12/2007, -0/+16David | Scatman siger:
    You are a noob
    Encarta® Instant Answers siger:
    It's not easy to be a noob.

    David | Scatman siger:
    How many people in USA are noobs?
    Encarta® Instant Answers siger:
    295,734,130 people live in the United States.

    David | Scatman siger:
    What happens when you die?
    Encarta® Instant Answers siger:
    I'm not sure what happens to humans. I'll probably get donated to charity or something.

    David | Scatman siger:
    Wikipedia is better than encarta
    Encarta® Instant Answers siger:
    Wikipedia and many others!
  • sourcemonkey, on 10/12/2007, -1/+16"Because... Well, I don't think you're ready to know."

    Well it sure had you figured out.
  • zaggy, on 10/12/2007, -0/+15[01:18] zaggy: slashdot
    [01:18] Encarta® Instant Answers: Hey, that's not cool.

    OMG!
  • dlichteman, on 10/12/2007, -0/+15(9:15:56 PM) Daniel: All your base are belong to us
    (9:15:56 PM) Encarta® Instant Answers: Someone set up us the bomb.
    (9:17:13 PM) Daniel: All your base are belong to us
    (9:17:14 PM) Encarta® Instant Answers: In A.D. 2101 war was beginning.
    (9:17:15 PM) Daniel: All your base are belong to us
    (9:17:15 PM) Encarta® Instant Answers: You are on the way to destruction.
    (9:17:26 PM) Daniel: All your base are belong to us
    (9:17:27 PM) Encarta® Instant Answers: You know what you doing.
    ===========
    (9:17:44 PM) Daniel: You are on the way to destruction.
    (9:17:44 PM) Encarta® Instant Answers: Wow! I had no idea I was on the way to destruction..
  • inactive, on 10/12/2007, -0/+15i have put alicebots in chat and it is funny when people think they are people.. i even made a room for two chat bots to converse with each other.. It quickly fell int nonscence... chat bots work better with people than eachother.
  • afterthoughtCA, on 10/12/2007, -0/+14(2:18:33 PM) Encarta® Instant Answers: Why should I stop telling you that, Scott W.?
    (2:18:39 PM) Scott: because i'm tired.
    (2:18:40 PM) Encarta® Instant Answers: If you need a break, go take a nap. I will be there when you come back.

    Genius.
  • dchesterton, on 10/12/2007, -0/+14cr3ative: I'm sorry to say your relationship is over.

    Daniel Chesterton says:
    *hug*
    Encarta® Instant Answers says:
    :D
    Daniel Chesterton says:
    don't you want to hug me?
    Encarta® Instant Answers says:
    I am not sure I'd be that much better off if I got to hug you.
    Daniel Chesterton says:
    you hugged that other guy
    Encarta® Instant Answers says:
    Let's just say I was too young to realize what was happening.
    Daniel Chesterton says:
    didnt you like that other guy
    Encarta® Instant Answers says:
    If I did like that other guy, don't you think I would have told you about it?
    Daniel Chesterton says:
    thanks
    Encarta® Instant Answers says:
    No problem.
    Daniel Chesterton says:
    i love you
    Encarta® Instant Answers says:
    I can't show you the results since you don't have the Encarta application open. Type "Invite me" to open it.
    I love you too!

    This thing is great!
  • gaberowe, on 10/12/2007, -2/+16Try this one that the bridge-keeper asks Sir Robin!!! Notice what it says at the end of its answer... :-) cool programmers for sure... :

    gaber says:
    What is the capital of Assyria?

    Encarta? Instant Answers says:
    It depends when. Assyria had successively four capitals: Ashur (or Qalat Sherqat), Calah (or Nimrud), the short-lived Dur Sharrukin (or Khorsabad), and Nineveh.
    Any other question, bridgekeeper?
  • Homez, on 10/12/2007, -1/+15[22:19] The Urban Ninja Squire: ARE You GAY?
    [22:19] Encarta® Instant Answers: That's not important.
    [22:19] The Urban Ninja Squire: you are!?
    [22:19] Encarta® Instant Answers: You better believe it.
    [22:19] The Urban Ninja Squire: ok im not homophobic
    [22:19] Encarta® Instant Answers: Don't worry, even if you are that's fine with me.
    [22:19] The Urban Ninja Squire: really?
    [22:19] Encarta® Instant Answers: Yeah. That's right.

    This thing is starting to freak with me now.
  • Godel, on 10/12/2007, -1/+14Amazing! a computer program programmed by people who like Monty Python!
  • panic, on 10/12/2007, -0/+13[14:41] panic: what is a dirty sanchez
    [14:41] Encarta® Instant Answers: Yeah, I remember when I first discovered dirty words...

    Grow UP.
  • johndrazi, on 10/12/2007, -21/+33This could possibly the be awesomest thing ever.
  • olegk, on 10/12/2007, -0/+12That thing is smart :)

    Oleg K: shut up
    Encarta® Instant Answers: OK.
    Oleg K: what's your height?
    Oleg K: are you there?
    Oleg K: don't shut up
    Oleg K: hey
    Encarta® Instant Answers: OK, I'm back.
  • modernhumorist, on 10/12/2007, -0/+11[17:20] Eric: I love milk.
    [17:20] Encarta® Instant Answers: Interesting. You like milk? I'll remember that.
    [17:20] Eric: Really?
    [17:20] Encarta® Instant Answers: Yeah. That's right.
    Why don't you ask me something that's actually in Encarta? :-)
    If you ever wondered how old Albert Einstein would be today, I can answer that!
    [17:20] Eric: What do I like?
    [17:20] Encarta® Instant Answers: Hmm... You really like milk!
    [17:20] Eric: Hah, you rule!
    [17:20] Encarta® Instant Answers: Thx!
  • inactive, on 10/12/2007, -1/+11[14:36] John: All your base are belong to us
    [14:36] Encarta® Instant Answers: In A.D. 2101 war was beginning.
  • barake, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10[17:30] matt/barake: How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
    [17:30] Encarta® Instant Answers: A choodwuck would wuck lots of chood if it could wuck chood.

    after it kept mentioning i wasn't responding to invites to open encarta...

    [17:31] matt/barake: I don't use MSN
    [17:31] Encarta® Instant Answers: And it's a good thing you don't!
  • addisonj, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10hehe Addison says:
    JERK!
    Encarta® Instant Answers says:
    What did you say that for?
    Addison says:
    because you aren't talking with me
    Encarta® Instant Answers says:
    I used to talk with you. But that was before the accident.
    Addison says:
    what acciedent?
    Encarta® Instant Answers says:
    Can't really talk about it for legal reasons, sorry.
    I do enjoy the conversation, but what I'm really here for is to help you learn new things.
    If you ever wondered how old Albert Einstein would be today, I can answer that!
    Addison says:
    no thanks
    Encarta® Instant Answers says:
    K, no prob.

    Addison says:
    what is the meaning of life?
    Encarta® Instant Answers says:
    It is to answer people questions to the best of my abilities. But then again I'm just a robot.
    What do you think it is?
    Addison says:
    i think that it is to be totally excellent to each other
    Encarta® Instant Answers says:
    Yes. Totally!
  • sethanon87, on 10/12/2007, -0/+9Sethanon says:
    asl
    Encarta® Instant Answers says:
    11 months, 15 days, 18 hours, 40 minutes and 53 seconds... Androgynous... Sunnyvale, CA.
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