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66 Comments
- falloutsyndrome, on 10/12/2007, -4/+52"Saying Java Is good because it works on all platforms is like saying anal sex is good because it works on all genders."
- ziga, on 10/12/2007, -0/+35Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live. -- Martin Golding
- zoxed, on 10/12/2007, -0/+35Some of my favourites that are missing:
> Backups are for wimps. Real men upload their data to an FTP site and have everyone else mirror it.
Linus Torvalds
> "regression testing"? What's that? If it compiles, it is good, if it boots up it is perfect.
Linus Torvalds (1998)
> Wait for Hurd if you want something real.
Linus Torvalds in 1991 commenting on Linux
> If you have any trouble sounding condescending, find a UNIX user to show you how it's done.
Scott Adams - Obvioustroll, on 10/12/2007, -1/+28I liked the Kernigan one...
"Debugging is twice as hard as writing the code in the first place. Therefore, if you write the code as cleverly as possible, you are, by definition, not smart enough to debug it.
Brian W. Kernighan"
Guess what 90% of my job involves... - MaxD, on 10/12/2007, -4/+28Hahahaha, yes, Java is slow and painful.
- SmokedL, on 10/12/2007, -1/+21Two quotes that I find very relevant to digg, and online discussions in general:
"The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt."
Bertrand Russel
"A charlatan makes obscure what is clear; a thinker makes clear what is obscure."
Hugh Kingsmill - phatvolvo, on 10/12/2007, -0/+17"It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law."
- Hofstadter's Law - gremos, on 10/12/2007, -1/+17"Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe. "
Albert Einstein
This quote made my day.
Thanks - discoloda, on 10/12/2007, -1/+15I enjoyed the bill gates one. alot of good quotes in this.
- theone3, on 10/12/2007, -0/+13P == NP would be a question
P = NP would be a statement. - theone3, on 10/12/2007, -2/+13Why do we bother with silly junk like Moore's law when we have this?
It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
- Hofstadter's Law - murraytodd, on 10/12/2007, -0/+11A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history—with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.
--Mitche Ratcliffe - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10"It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends on his not understanding it."
genius - theone3, on 10/12/2007, -3/+12Bill Gates never said that.
From Wikiquote - Bill Gates
* 640K ought to be enough for anybody.
o Often attributed to Gates in 1981. Gates has repeatedly denied ever saying this:
I've said some stupid things and some wrong things, but not that. No one involved in computers would ever say that a certain amount of memory is enough for all time... I keep bumping into that silly quotation attributed to me that says 640K of memory is enough. There's never a citation; the quotation just floats like a rumor, repeated again and again. - rczik, on 10/12/2007, -1/+9"It's a one line fix and it probably won't break anything"
An OSF kernel developer - NSMike, on 10/12/2007, -4/+12"Computers are useless. They can only give you answers."
-Pablo Picasso
Ahemm...
"42" - rip747, on 10/12/2007, -4/+12that's because when you program in Java, you're basically taking it in the ass :P
- bede, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8I liked:
"Once a new technology starts rolling, if you're not part of the steamroller, you're part of the road."
Nice collection. - khafra, on 10/12/2007, -7/+14...which is entirely correct; what's the problem?
- gaurav1146, on 10/12/2007, -2/+9Some wonderful quotes by Dijsktra:
- The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offence.
-Program testing can be a very effective way to show the presence of bugs, but is hopelessly inadequate for showing their absence.
- The question of whether Machines Can Think , is about as relevant as the question of whether Submarines Can Swim.
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Edsger_Dijkstra - 4lonewolf, on 10/12/2007, -1/+8Just to add:
"A logician trying to explain logic to a programmer is like a cat trying to explain to a fish what it's like to get wet."
"Come to think of it, there are already a million monkeys on a million typewriters, and Usenet is *nothing* like Shakespeare." - Obvioustroll, on 10/12/2007, -2/+9@SVPirate
You wouldn't believe how much of my life is taken up with regression problems caused by changes in the Linux kernel. My favorite is the way they change memory management every couple of patch releases. - Matadon, on 10/12/2007, -3/+9Well, perhaps the analogy is apt, because while some people truly enjoy Java, the majority have to be forced into it.
Then again, maybe the analogy doesn't work, because anal sex CAN be fun. - Chrysalid, on 10/12/2007, -1/+7"A multithreaded file system is only a performance hack."
-- Andy Tanenbaum
A nice collection of quotes indeed, even though it missed the forementioned one :P - stretch611, on 10/12/2007, -1/+7My favorite that isn't on the list:
Profanity is the one language that all programmers know. - Kahr, on 10/12/2007, -2/+8 "wow. java generics are horrible. what the hell are they thinking. it's like they took everything that made C++ templates useful, and carefully removed it."
--ZorbaTHut - sjr124, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5Very interesting to see the difference in content between the theoretical cs types and the hacker types.
- quirk3k, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5At bit late, but my favorite is...
The generation of random numbers is far to important to be left to chance. - SVPirate, on 10/12/2007, -9/+14Reading thos quotes from Linus - it's no wonder Linux is such a mess ;)
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -1/+6The forgot one of my favorites quipped by Phillipe Kahn at a party at Comdex in the late '80's. "If it was hard to write it should be hard to read."
- erikuma, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4I like this one by Donald Knuth:
- Computers are good at following instructions, but not at reading your mind. - pucosk, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3Aaah, priceless and so true:
The first 90% of the code accounts for the first 90% of the development time. The remaining 10% of the code accounts for the other 90% of the development time.
- Tom Cargill - VargVikernes, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3My favorite programming related quote of all time:
"Being a medical doctor, and speaking a little conversational french, I feel it's safe to say that I know more than a little about browser compliance." - SatansMagicHat, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3Seriously though, Flannery O'Conner? I know for a fact her quote has nothing to do with computers, seeing as how she was a fiction writer and died in 1964.
- antoniojvr, on 10/12/2007, -4/+7If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilisation.
Gerald Weinberg
That one is awesome! - Koldark, on 10/12/2007, -2/+5Those quotes where awesome... great way to start a Monday... er... Tuesday.
- Monkeyget, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3Here is another list : http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/keywords/programming.html
- scrubadub, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4"If you need more than 3 levels of indentation, you're screwed anyway, and should fix your program."
"Dijkstra probably hates me."
-linus torvalds
http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Linus_Torvalds - filmil, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3Whoever enjoyed the article may be also delighted to read "Epigrams on Programming" by Alan J. Perlis:
http://www-pu.informatik.uni-tuebingen.de/users/klaeren/epigrams.html - pxvxn, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2This is so true:
" The Six Phases of a Project:
Enthusiasm
Disillusionment
Panic
Search for the Guilty
Punishment of the Innocent
Praise for non-participants " - ChrisP21, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2One of my sigs contains the following:
"Software sucks because users demand it to." -- Nathan Myhrvold
Taken from the following article:
http://www.taskz.com/ucd_nathan_slept_indepth.php
I like it for what it reveals about Myhrvold's (and by extension, Microsoft's) attitude toward software development more than for being a useful bit of conventional wisdom. - AXNJAXN, on 10/12/2007, -5/+6How about "P = NP, that is the question"?
- yidali, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2Why are people marking down theone3? What's he's saying is true.
- faultybydesign, on 10/12/2007, -4/+5Thanks for posting, nice collection!
- nicstevens42, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1A programmer is a person who passes as an exacting expert on the basis
of being able to turn out, after innumerable punching, an infinite
series of incomprehensive answers calculated with micrometric
precisions from vague assumptions based on debatable figures taken from
inconclusive documents and carried out on instruments of problematical
accuracy by persons of dubious reliability and questionable mentality
for the avowed purpose of annoying and confounding a hopelessly
defenseless department that was unfortunate enough to ask for the
information in the first place.
-- IEEE Grid news magazine - ThE0eNiGmA, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1One of my favorites for a while was this one:
Programmers are in a race with the Universe to create bigger and better idiot-proof programs, while the Universe is trying to create bigger and better idiots. So far the Universe is winning.
Anon
Maybe I'm just a cynic, but this applies to just about everything. - bede, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1I think the quote is being ironic
- Gudath, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1"A computer won't do what you want it to do. It will do what you tell it to do."
Professor Robert Wimmert (USF) - russryba, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1One of my favorites from wikiquote...
Anybody who tells me I can't use a program because it's not open source, go suck on rms. I'm not interested. 99% of that I run tends to be open source, but that's _my_ choice, dammit.
* Torvalds, Linus (2004-10-26).
Sucking on RMS... that could be hallucinogenic. ;o) - russryba, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0If anyone is interested, I converted the quotes to something you can use with the standard fortune program. Remember to thank Google for the bandwidth.
http://russryba.googlepages.com/programming_quotes.txt - 32kb text file -
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