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82 Comments
- Remy_LeBeau, on 11/14/2007, -1/+39Wow, Johnpaine, an incredibly accurate prediction of your future!
- hackwrench, on 11/14/2007, -5/+36Evidence in the Bible that God is a programmer:
Jer. 1:12 The Lord said to me "You have seen correctly, for I am watching to see that my word is fulfilled."
Isa, 55:11 11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me void, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it.
Does anyone want to identify more? - orientis, on 10/12/2007, -3/+31Unfortunately for the Lord, he forgot the old computing axiom: Garbage in, garbage out.
- Waterispoison, on 10/12/2007, -1/+27"Q: Where will I go after I die?
A: Onto a DAT tape."
Nooooooooooooooooooooooo.... - thefurryone, on 10/12/2007, -0/+16"Isa, 55:11 11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me void..."
Well, duh. Of course it's going to return a String. - greymaxcat, on 10/12/2007, -0/+13This...
explains...
so much... - BESTenemy, on 10/12/2007, -0/+12My personal favourite:
Q: Am I unique and special in the universe?
A: There are over 10,000 major university and corporate sites running
exact duplicates of you in the present release version.
Reminds me of:
"Don't those institutions spend enough time already making people think alike? Now they wanna make them look alike too?"
- George Carlin - Ratteler, on 10/12/2007, -1/+12... and I was bitching about Vista's DRM. Now I have boycott the entire universe.
Is there an open source alternative to reality that I can try? I sure hope "physics" doesn't use proprietary drivers. - sirsteveh, on 10/12/2007, -2/+12If God's a programmer, does that mean he can't spell?
- Ratteler, on 10/12/2007, -0/+9Whoa... I know Kung Fu!
- mocheeze, on 10/12/2007, -3/+12I'd have to say that orentis's comment was much more clever than anything in that article. Heh.
- Ratteler, on 10/12/2007, -0/+9Reread your own post.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -4/+12If God used a mac, we'd all be hippies!
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -4/+12Humans love to see things as 'designed', when really they see when something is purposeful. Natural selection is a great example of this. A non-random process that selects the strong genes, by way of a natural sieve. But, as dumb as humans are, we think anything that has a purpose has to be designed by something else, just because all our manmade things with purposes were designed. People don't seem to understand that it's very likely that the entire universe is a closed system. Otherwise, it's the result of a never ending recursive design loop that becomes more and more absurd and improbable as you climb up the ladder of progressively more silly 'gods'.
- BlackAdderIII, on 10/12/2007, -1/+8@Ratteler """Reread your own post."""
You just introduced recursion into joebolte's life. Well done, that man. - BlackAdderIII, on 10/12/2007, -0/+6I was expecting this article to be about John Carmack, imagine my disappointment. :-)
I liked this:
Q: What is the purpose of the universe?
A: God created it because he values elegance and simplicity, but then
the users and managers demanded he tack all this senseless stuff onto
it and now everything is more complicated and expensive than ever.
^Those are definitely the words of a programmer. :-) - AggieTales, on 10/12/2007, -2/+8Didn't you hear? All Mac users go to Hell: http://www.roosterteeth.com/viewEntry.php?id=313
and apparently Apple now owns Hell too: http://rvb.roosterteeth.com/viewEntry.php?id=349
(and please read the links before digging me down) - cbergeron, on 10/12/2007, -2/+7@mcduckov:
What is it with you churchies and your "Intelligent Designer" non-theory? Intelligent Design doesn't even meet the criterion of "theory".
For you to have a theory, you have to have a scientific round-table of peers that will review your theory, and determine [scientifically (pron. factually)] if your theory is valid or if it's bogus. At best, "Intelligent Design" is a marketing buzzword [and your whole god nonsense is SPAM].
I have a "theory" that if you look at the paper within 3 wipes before flushing it, you're an alien; but that doesn't mean that the scientific community should waste time reviewing it. It has NO SUBSTANCE.
Either bring something to the table, or shut up. It's quite simple really. - cbergeron, on 10/12/2007, -2/+7Agreed.
When will we as human beings realize our own value to "us"? Our parents created us, and their parents created them, ad nausem.
Humans have the rare ability of "reason" and "goal of higher purpose" over our ancestors.
We as humans are our own God. Our morals and values and integrity should guide us, not some faux belief in some invisible friend.
If you aren't strong in your own moral compass, PLEASE don't "Worship" some "invisible superhero". Please have a look inside yourself, before you blindly look into something non-existent. Find your own way first; and only then if you can't have integrity, find a group to guide you - preferably away from me. - burke, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5umm.... s:/s/:s/:
I don't even use sed (much), but I could still debug that better. - drlog, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4You mean version 2.0?
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5Satan actually wrote the game E.T. for the Atari 2600. The game is widely claimed to be the worst video game ever made.
- BlackAdderIII, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4What if heart attacks are just the tilt-bit being set accidentally?
- dggeek, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3Somewhere a group of super being programmers are looking at the output for Universe 2.0, reading this, and congratulating each other over the excellent AI.
- cbergeron, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4Would you guys ask your pastors to make up their minds?
Every church seems to have a different take on every different verse in your version of the Sci-Fi book titled "Bible".
So what's the consensus? Factually, King James raped his Sisters and had sex with his mother. He also had bible version 0.5a rewritten to suit his kingdom and it's followers. This isn't flamebait, this is historical fact. I guess that's why churches also go out of their way to destroy other countries and their religious symbols/history.
You guys should either get your facts straight, or market to an even dumberer base of society. - longhorn49, on 10/12/2007, -4/+7i bet he uses a mac...wait no cant be since the world is full of so many viruses
- Ratteler, on 10/12/2007, -3/+5I did hear that Boot Camp was called iHell internally before it went public.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2I never said it was a theory. I think Intelligent Design makes sense to me based on what I observe but it isn't testable yet and therefore cannot become a theory. I suppose it qualifies as a hypothesis but then again just about anything can qualify as a hypothesis.
- runmaximus, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2http://infohost.nmt.edu/~mlindsey/asimov/question.htm
saw this posted somewhere on digg a couple weeks ago, its a great Azimov scifi story, one of my favs
try and read the whole thing, itll make ya think - Prometheus, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2Yeah that's when it used to freeze all the time...
- rajid, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2> Q: Did God really create the world in seven days?
> A: He did it in six days and nights while living on cola and candy
> bars. On the seventh day he went home and found out his girlfriend
> had left him.
This explains why God was in a such a bad mood in the Old Testament. He must have gotten over it or found a new girlfriend by time the New Testament came around.
Also, it's worth mentioning that particles taking on multiple Quantum states until they're observed is simply a CPU saving mechanism. There's no need to pin things down in the simulation unless they're observed. Normal graphics time saving measure and simple good programming practice. - Keloran, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1i guess he also wrote the script for "Accidental Hero"
- VermiciousKnid, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1God = the Architect?
- BlackAdderIII, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2E.T. was knocked off its perch in the mid 90s by a game called Battlecruiser 3000 AD, which makes E.T. look as fun a a tub full of ***** by comparison.
You still hear game developers use the game's name as a slang term for a Very Bad Development Failure, which is kind of cruel/sad for the makers of it. - TyPhyter, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1@inarguable
to bad its recognized by scientists and historians, as the greatest selling non fiction book of all time. you just learned something numbnutz be careful dont hurt your self - Meowbiusfox, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1I'm sorry everyone but I don't think God
Diggs.It's hard being omnipotent,and in today's hustle and bustle world &
who has time to learn the computer?
He gets Jesus to help with his P2P file sharing,mainly because;
"The boy's a whiz with this computer stuff,and I just am too crunched for time.
"I have a mass genocide to attend at three,followed by death and pestilence at
four thirty."
Also,You can't get Video professor tapes in Heaven,you know,that
annoying infomercial with the pimply fat chick that says her three year old
knows more about computers than she does?
Well,She's right,..BUY MY PRODUCT??? - rderveloy, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2"Maybe n div zero = God?"
Well, many say that God is infinite...
If God = infinity and n/0 for any n = infinity then n/0 = God. W00T!!!!
- speezer, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1I guess that explains the death march.
- bioskope, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1naaah BeOS probably because preemptive multitasking is one of the key issues god has to deal with
- joshua5, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2why isnt there a wikipedia article for 'Age of Miracles'?
- Emilio8605, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Best part... "Hi Dad! More funny stuff..."
- larrywsm, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Mac, Windows or Open source?
- bioskope, on 10/12/2007, -0/+1Yea but if only he cud also take care of the race conditions *Sigh
- iotadeltaphi, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2#ifdef intelligent
god = null;
#endif - speezer, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2I forgot god is a commercial entity so you need the .com part.
- speezer, on 10/12/2007, -1/+2c:>ping god
Ping request could not find host god. Please check the name and try again. - outspeak, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0For those who dogmatically believe that there is no God:
Atoms themselves are quite amazing, each constructed of parts. Molecules more-so. Single cell life even more. Multicellular life is a miracle of chances. Ecosystems take it a step further. Then you begin regarding planets as a whole, then solar systems, then galaxies. It's such intricate work, so amazing on every level and in every way.
To fight so for your belief that there is no driving force behind it all is ludicrous. You're no different from the "churchies" you decry, except that they believe in something while you believe in nothing. Your dogma can't stand in this world of miracles. Either there is something or there is the question of something. Nothing, though a possibility, is not an answer.
-Dusty - nnolasco, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0God is like a programmer in a way.
He wrote us with a well intended purpose: to love. Although some of us would rather believe we are designed for other purposes in life.
He can easily debug our code to find out what our real intentions are within our hearts. We can't hide our variables from His debugger.
He has the code.
He's the one.
Regards, - AniceAtheist, on 10/12/2007, -1/+1So this programmer God works part time (overnight shift surprises him)
Is Lazy (Debugging is tedious)
is Stupid (He thought he got rid of evil)
Has a boss. (Satan turns out to be his boss. lol)
Seriously this metaphor of God as a programmer sucks. Try doing one for God as the Janitor. - jhecht, on 10/12/2007, -0/+0gotta say, most of that make sense. It was also pretty entertaining.
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