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8 Animals With Real Superpowers

cracked.com — It’s no secret: animals are out to kill us. While we spend hundreds of billions of dollars fighting the terrorist threat overseas, animal sleeper cells are biding their time, developing strange and fabulous powers far beyond those of man.

Who dugg this? Made popular Aug 31, 2008

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  • t3hmyth, on 08/31/2008, -1/+57Dugg for a Cracked article that's on ONE PAGE.
  • ScottMcIntyre, on 08/31/2008, -5/+53Octopi-- the all conquering superheroes of the sea!
  • championchap, on 08/31/2008, -1/+47dugg for "murdering us to death"
  • jggube, on 08/31/2008, -2/+38The photoshopp'ed bloody-fingers-with-geckos-on-it made me LOL.
  • redfred18t, on 08/31/2008, -2/+29I for one welcome our new Octopi overlords
  • pimuni, on 08/31/2008, -1/+25I wish I had evolved from an octopus... :(
  • triferlinks, on 08/31/2008, -5/+29Dugg for FSM. RAmen
  • quomen, on 09/01/2008, -1/+25. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _______________
    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ./ Too Bad For You!
    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _,,,--~~~~~~~~--,_ . . . . ._______________/
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  • Mangotastic, on 08/31/2008, -6/+28I think we need to worry about other humans murdering us to death before hummingbirds and geckos..........unless thats just what they want us to think?
  • jtbell04, on 08/31/2008, -1/+21Octopi aren't just the smartest invertebrates, they may also be among the smartest animals (along with Cuttlefish).

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cephalopod_intelligen ...
  • antdude, on 09/01/2008, -0/+16Do you have a zoo or something?
  • inactive, on 08/31/2008, -1/+14i feel like the wombat should be on this list, simply for it's cool name.
  • ZeeZee2k, on 08/31/2008, -1/+14Gecko can also sell car insurance, apparently.
  • Zalyster, on 09/01/2008, -0/+13Dugg for "Platapi are monotremes (the only other monotreme is the echidna, who we already know are after our Chaos Emeralds)"
  • alclone, on 09/01/2008, -0/+11Same here!

    Think of all the movie contracts in tentacle porn...
  • atlquaker, on 08/31/2008, -3/+149. Sharks - They can shoot lasers
  • bat-21, on 09/01/2008, -0/+11Octopussies
  • RonnieW, on 09/01/2008, -1/+11Actually, we couldn't get sharks, so we got some ill tempered mutated sea bass.
  • mowe, on 09/01/2008, -0/+9I'm brown and I thought that was hilarious.

    But true.



    :(
  • atlquaker, on 09/01/2008, -0/+9yes they can (do?)
  • Acglaphotis, on 09/01/2008, -1/+10All of them.
  • alpharaptor, on 08/31/2008, -1/+9which animal overlord am i supposed to be supporting?
  • EIEAviv2008, on 08/31/2008, -4/+12Should i be worried if I own 7 of these 8 animals?
  • jaromdl, on 08/31/2008, -5/+13"The Octopus may very well be the biggest threat to national security since *brown people*."

    That's ***** up.
  • mowe, on 09/01/2008, -0/+8That's what America tries very hard to tell me.
  • gmiley, on 09/01/2008, -0/+7The singular for idiots is govarddin.
  • BWraithly, on 08/31/2008, -1/+8well what do ya know, beetles ***** napalm, panicky time for me
  • DforSpiD, on 09/01/2008, -1/+7Do you feel you're a threat to society?
  • kamikaze134, on 08/31/2008, -2/+8Sauce be upon him.
  • harlowsmonkeys, on 09/01/2008, -0/+5Anyone else think of Rorschach when watching the Octopus video? "None of you understand. I'm not locked up in here with you. You're locked up in here with me".
  • espoandy, on 09/01/2008, -0/+4After watching that video, I'd say they're anything but
  • inactive, on 08/31/2008, -1/+5What about the Belgian bull. Some of them are born lacking the myostatin gene and thus making them super muscular and strong.
  • bluesatin, on 09/01/2008, -1/+5Most genius use of this meme ever.
  • waffleninja, on 09/01/2008, -0/+4They forgot the pit viper that can see in ***** infrared vision. You wish you had that power.

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Loreal_pit
  • KingGorilla, on 09/01/2008, -0/+4or octopuses since octopus is not a latin word the plural of "es" is not "ii"
  • EggNogIceCream, on 09/01/2008, -0/+3Dugg for the big guy with a gun.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w97TQE8H4sE&eurl=ht ...
  • earlvanze, on 09/01/2008, -0/+3Nope. We humans are still the dominant species of the Earth because of the power of our brains. Well some of our brains. Others are in peril.
  • Acglaphotis, on 09/01/2008, -1/+4Dugg for sonic reference.
  • UndeadOverlord, on 09/01/2008, -0/+3Dugg for reference to Leon The Professional
    Most definitely one of my favorite movies of all time, I've got the DVD sitting here on my desk in front of me :D
  • badmonkey6186, on 09/01/2008, -0/+2apparently you didn't notice that we don't have to worry about sharks because of the ***** octopi.

    That was some of the scariest stuff I've ever seen.
  • badmonkey6186, on 09/01/2008, -1/+3That was a social commentary on subconscious racism in society.
  • ArkRaider1936, on 09/01/2008, -0/+2Further evidence that the octopus is awesome: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8oQBYw6xxc&feature ...
  • dafragsta, on 09/01/2008, -0/+2How about levitation Holmes. That's telekinesis Kyle!
  • spoofies, on 09/01/2008, -0/+2forgot the pistol shrimp

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ONQlTMUYCW4

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pistol_shrimp
  • dafragsta, on 09/01/2008, -0/+2holy ***** ***** evolution is cool.
  • inactive, on 09/01/2008, -0/+2didn't discovery channel say in 200m... the invertabrates will be the next super power? i can see them evolving to something like the protoss from starcraft
  • mowe, on 09/01/2008, -0/+2It actually kinda disturbed me : (
  • nerdherder, on 09/01/2008, -1/+3Its a joke, lighten up. Did you really think that they are seriously saying that these animals have superpowers?
  • Halsfield, on 09/01/2008, -0/+2too bad for them we have the brains to build the tech to mimic all of these "superpowers" .
  • DforSpiD, on 09/01/2008, -0/+2come to Australia!
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