What is Digg?524 Comments
- xadious, on 03/20/2008, -12/+335Quite depressing and makes life seem so pointless =(
- SuperGreen420, on 03/20/2008, -5/+314I'm not dating that smug bitch.
- an0nim0us, on 03/20/2008, -37/+249This still beats being alone for your whole life.
- jeremyduffy, on 03/20/2008, -4/+203Better because it is:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-300235988 ...
Plus it's animated :) - DeviantDragon, on 03/20/2008, -8/+203Way to suck everything intangible and great about love and reduce it to going through the emotionless motions of a robotic and dreary existence.
- inactive, on 03/20/2008, -2/+196I'm not alone, I have six million friends in WoW
- bloodbloodyum, on 03/20/2008, -13/+194I should just commit suicide right now.
- mech887, on 03/20/2008, -8/+124wow.
- n3demonic, on 03/20/2008, -2/+113http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTkp9UqVVHs&e
- merper, on 03/20/2008, -1/+109From Sorcia on Reddit:
Hey you, Some Girl. It’s me, Some Guy. I’m almost to the bad half of my thirties and all my friends have gotten married or come out of the closet, so I guess it’s time to grow up and start looking for a wife. Plus I’m sick of catching crabs. You are decent looking, earn enough money to keep us comfortable, but still less than me, thank god. In fact, we are in the same field….I wonder why you earn 80% of what I do for essentially the same job? Weird.
We will go to an art museum for our first date and I’ll pretend I’m not bored. I’ll take you out for Mexican food on our second date, and then Chinese for the third. We will marvel at how we both love Orange Chicken.
We will have pretty good sex after a month. Our dates from that point on will consist of watching movies at my place or meeting at Pei Wei on our lunch hours. You are still quite agreeable and I think you would be a decent mother, and I’m really intrigued by the idea of having someone around that I can have sex with on a regular basis.
I will decide to propose on Valentine’s Day by mixing a video and a cute song I wrote for you. I will try hard but I won’t think it turned out as well as this guy, who will be my inspiration. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6c0jbIQN6bo). I will send it to a buddy to see what he thinks, and the bastard will post it to YouTube. It will rival the Star Wars kid for number of views. But anyways, you will say yes and we will elope.
During our marriage, I will do three loads of laundry. The first I will mix whites and reds, the second I won’t pre-spray any of the stains and will end up permanently setting them in by drying them, and the third will fill the house with a mildew smell after 2 days because I will forget to put it in the dryer. Not indirectly due to this, you will insist on doing the remaining 22,997 loads of laundry during our marriage.
You will be incapacitated during most of your pregnancy by complications. Your doctor eventually puts you on full-time bed rest for the last 3 months of your pregnancy. I will marvel at how lucky you are to be able to take such a long vacation. When you complain about something that hurts, burns, or aches, I will remind you that this was YOUR idea.
A few days after we get home from the hospital, you will get a letter from your employer saying you have used your 12 weeks of legally mandated FMLA and they are now going to replace you. You will cry because it was the best job you had ever had, and probably ever will. I will try not to look like a deer in the headlights and will stoically assure you we can get by for a while on one income. It will seem quite do-able if we closely watch our money. I tell you I will take care of all the financial stuff, don’t worry honey.
Since you will be trying to simultaneously recover from a C-section, learn how to feed another human solely from your own body every 2-3 hours, and cope with the other challenges of a newborn, I decide to generously use some vacation time to take a week off work. I mean, you won’t even be able to walk and I’d hate for your boobs to dry up because you can’t get a drink. By the way, that reminds me of this little fantasy I’ve had for a while…wanna try it when you are feeling better? What do you mean they're cracked and bleeding?!?! Eww, never mind.
You will stay home with our son for the next few years, clipping coupons, buying everything at the dollar store when possible, and taking side jobs to earn extra money. You will start looking a bit dumpy, and your excuse will be that we do not have money for you to get a haircut or buy clothes. You will even wear my Costco sport socks and old t-shirts to save money. I’m glad you don’t complain much about doing without, because, after all, I am the breadwinner and I need some fun money to relieve all the stress that comes with it.
One day, you will you run my credit report. I will tell you I don’t know how it happened, a few bucks here, a few bucks there, and before I knew it I had $50,000 in credit card debt. I will tell you not to worry, honey, we can still make the minimum payments, just pray the landlord doesn’t raise our rent.
In the meantime, your resume is starting to look awful moldy. It looks like your technology career is going to be difficult to resume. Recruiters are saying you will have to start at entry level wages to break back in. Apparently your 8 years of experience prior to breeding won’t mean much in high tech when you have been sitting around the house for 4 years.
Eventually, you will find a job that is tech related. You will pretend to ignore your co-workers, who are mostly new college graduates who like to tease you about how they like older women, and will call you “Stifler's Mom” and won’t think you know what it means. We will get to take our first vacation in 9 years, and eventually you will even replace your CZ wedding ring with a real diamond.
I will have a mid-life crisis and start boning anything with a hole. You won’t find out until you go to the gynecologist because it burns like hell when you pee. We will agree to stay together for the sake of the children, but our sex life will now go from 4 times a year to exactly none. Which will be a huge relief, actually.
Shortly after our 48th anniversary, I will be diagnosed with cancer and you will spend the next year feeding me, washing me, and changing my diapers. After I die you will spend every day in front of the TV and scrapbooking, hoping to get a call from one of our children or grandchildren, who now all live in other states. You will cry a lot, because even though I was a son of a bitch, I was YOUR son of a bitch, and maybe things were pretty good after all.
After 7 years, you will also develop cancer, but there won’t be anyone able or willing to nurse you. You will liquidate our assets and sell our home so you can get Medicaid, which will put you in the cheapest nursing home nearby that hasn’t yet lost its license. Mercifully, you will die in 3 months from a blood infection resulting from your feces infecting your bedsores, instead of a horrible cancer death like I had to endure. You will be buried next to me in our shared plot, but your name and the year you died will never be engraved because I decided not to prepay for that, and the probate court says you died destitute. But don’t worry honey; I’ll know who you are. - drpcken, on 03/20/2008, -0/+92With a name like HeavySausage, who wouldn't?
- chuckDontSurf, on 03/20/2008, -4/+91Buried for leaving out the mid-life crisis and subsequent affair. C'mon, if I don't have blowjobs from semi-hot secretaries to look forward to, what's the point?
- merper, on 03/20/2008, -16/+91With all due credit to Daftgopher on Reddit:
The sardonic nature of this cartoon completely reduces what should be a joyful experience to a mechanized template for how to live one's life. Do you honestly believe the next 60 years of your life are so easily reduced to some kind of mundane, depressing timeline? Do you expect your relationship with your husband/wife to be as mechanically simple as the one described here? Sometimes we forget that the journey is often richer than the destination and the small day-to-day concerns and memories shared with our loved ones constitute our joyful experiences. This cartoon treats the act of having children as a muted plot point in one's life rather than a tremendous joy, whereas losing your bitchin' basement bar as your friends go one to share in the joy of having kids themselves is apparently some kind of epic tragedy.
The joy of relationships is not in how much we lose in compromise - compromise is a sign of trust and appreciation for the other in the relationship. Above all, it is the absolutely honest and selfless practice of learning what makes your partner truly unique and how to care for someone besides ourselves. It's not about scaling the loss of our personal aspirations on some hypothetical rubric - it's about what is unquantifiable. Two people in a healthy relationship do not compromise out of despair, but out of the purest and most selfless love for the other. This is far superior to an apathetic love based on the lie of complete and fleeting infatuation. If you can find someone you can really know, learn all their ups and downs, and love them not in spite of their positives/negatives, but because of them, you'll have a healthy relationship on your hands.
Also, if some bitch told me I was lacking in creativity and that she held similarly pessimistic views for our prospective children...well, she wouldn't be the one having my children. - HolemCross, on 03/20/2008, -2/+71Hit too close to home?
- zaptoman, on 03/20/2008, -1/+67"Could not select the database, please contact an administrator." Man, you're right. Every relationship I've had has been just like this.
- MrSarcasm, on 03/20/2008, -5/+67My feminist-o-meter is going crazy
- WindWithMe, on 03/20/2008, -3/+61Why? I really enjoy being single. I have buddy's that are scared to be left alone for a single minute. If those who share your opinion spend more time doing things that push their own expectations such as biking,running marathons,skydiving,climbing mountains,etc. you would find being single is a very rewarding experience. I do have ladies that I occasionally see,but I see no reason to get involved with them.
- protodon, on 03/20/2008, -2/+58I believe I have just made some people angry by sending them this video because it's pretty much a documentary of their lives, oh well.
- HeavySausage, on 03/20/2008, -5/+60So who wants to make babies with me?
- jemka, on 03/20/2008, -0/+52The real truth about relationships:
"Could not select the database, please contact an administrator." - SeaweedWater, on 03/20/2008, -0/+48Its a squirrel doing hilarious things with a toothbrush. Amazing!!
- aliengoods, on 03/20/2008, -1/+49I think that's the real problem a lot of people are having with this. The single people I showed in the office laughed their asses off. Not even a smirk from the married men or women.
- Tronsama, on 03/20/2008, -3/+50Sums up how I feel about marriage. Marriage is a dream killer.
- danrdanny, on 03/20/2008, -8/+55Not funny? That video was great. It was great because I was in one of those relationships and almost got to the getting engaged part. Thank God I figured out the rest of the story and got the hell out of it.
The video isn't sad, it's true. It's something we all need to realize and I realized almost too late, don't settle, look for what you want and what really makes you happy in another person. It might take time, but it will pay off. - mriscinti, on 03/20/2008, -0/+44I'm not sure how you should feel about people "digging" your contemplation of suicide.
- rocktopotomus, on 03/20/2008, -3/+46One could, along the same line of thought, argue that consciousness is also an illusion caused by the collective firing of millions of neurons. But that doesn't make the experience any less real and meaningful.
- inactive, on 03/20/2008, -1/+43He sees the fat chick, stops for a sec, then keeps on walkin.... so true, who amongst us has not thought about doin the fat chick for a second, but then got back on with the hunt?
- DrMonkeyLove, on 03/20/2008, -21/+61Love is nothing more than an illusion caused by a chemical reaction in our brains. There, is that better?
- chewbacca77, on 03/20/2008, -2/+41I agree with you.... other than the hilarious part.
- krekc, on 03/20/2008, -17/+56Yeah its true but the video is not funny. Didnt even chuckle.
- cygnus183, on 03/20/2008, -0/+38*****
- thailand1972, on 03/21/2008, -0/+36No, no no - Dugg down as inaccurate. You think that's depressing? Read the alternative "ending" which happens to many guys:-
"Two years after the birth of our second child, I divorce you, keep the house, have custody of the kids, and take half your savings plus 35% of your future income.
You get depressed, become a lonely alcoholic while I get infatuated with my new boyfriend. I get to be the centre of attention again as I tell my friends how you physically and mentally abused me, and they will tell me how brave I was to divorce you. None of this will be true, but the warm fuzzy feelings I get at being the centre of attention numb any guilt I might feel.
After 5 years of separation, my new husband and I move 1000 miles away from you (with the kids of course) and even though you have a court order to see your children twice a month, the distance means you only get to see them 4 times a year. After 10 years of separation, they call you by your first name, and call my 2nd husband "dad". You die early from cirrhosis of the liver at 53 years old. The kids and I would have attended your funeral, but the distance made it difficult and we did send some lovely cards to take my guilt away. " - aliengoods, on 03/20/2008, -3/+36Awfully ***** funny. I have about 10 friends who's lives have mirrored that sketch.
Coincidentally, I'm sending them all the link so they feel like having a drink Friday after work. - hogfoot, on 03/20/2008, -6/+39no...no it doesn't
- moletimer, on 03/20/2008, -1/+32This is so depressingly, stereotypically true : ( The music fits so well....it's so happy, yet creepy and lonely.
I don't want to live like this. I'd rather die.
I know! I'll become a superhero! - inactive, on 03/20/2008, -2/+32So you feel sorry for everyone older than 28?
- BESTenemy, on 03/20/2008, -1/+30I know how my story will be different from theirs - I will never be able to afford a house.
- GRAVEWiSH, on 03/20/2008, -2/+31r u hot?
- Wilson, on 03/20/2008, -0/+28Error: Love not found.
- diggydoc, on 03/20/2008, -4/+32omg, i'm barely in my 20ties and i want to kill myself after watching this :((
- inactive, on 03/20/2008, -5/+32If you're a digg user, this probably wouldn't happen to you.
/cheer up :( - qber, on 03/20/2008, -0/+26Well, this is from the girl's point of view. And she's apparently too busy talking about her kids to anyone who will listen to notice your midlife crisis.
- danielonoda, on 03/20/2008, -3/+27***** this *****.
- 262a, on 03/20/2008, -1/+25I love the part about the mans funeral, which will "last just over 1 hour"
*****... - aliengoods, on 03/20/2008, -1/+25Try reading a book when you live with a woman. The only way to do it is before you go to bed, in which case you're not getting laid. Nuff said.
- ghee, on 03/20/2008, -4/+28I doubt that the world would be as it is today if people thought like that.
- inactive, on 03/20/2008, -1/+2498% of people live this exact same life. Hugh Hefner did not live this life.
- inactive, on 03/20/2008, -3/+26You fail at life if you seriously think this way.
- inactive, on 03/20/2008, -3/+25lmfao.... soo true. I don't care if people say it's stereotyping, sexist, or anything, the truth is that a lot of girls are like this, if it wasn't true then there wouldn't be a bunch of different guys from all over the world commenting saying "soo true".
- WindWithMe, on 03/20/2008, -0/+22No,but not because I think its wrong,but the last I heard those escorts are charging 4,300$ and hour.... That a little rich for my blood. Really the truth is that I have no real problems finding eligible women that find me enjoyable to be around. Go figure,someone on Digg too.
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