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26 Comments
- scotchyscotch, on 07/14/2009, -0/+26Set House rules- don't use my razor to shave your legs.
- spiritamx79, on 07/14/2009, -1/+13None of this should be an issue if she is in the kitchen makin' you a sandwhich
- chicagojack, on 07/14/2009, -1/+13How many hours/week you can surf internet porn
- satsukimiller, on 07/14/2009, -0/+7Money and personal space are the two big ones, I think. Plus, I want my own closet, no peeking and commenting on my shoes, bags, and how I have too many of both!
- DeskFlyer, on 07/14/2009, -0/+7Don't I need a girlfriend first?
- StigNordas, on 07/14/2009, -0/+610. Toilet Seat!
- inactive, on 07/14/2009, -0/+5Be aware if you do the laundry of your first skid mark experience. Really brings reality home.
- gamerbambi, on 07/14/2009, -1/+6GUY: Are you willing to have sex whenever I say so?
GIRL: No!
GUY: ***** you then, the deal is over. - fluidfoundation, on 07/14/2009, -2/+6Figure out who the ***** is going to be on top of paying the bills.
Then tell her no, you suck at numbers, I'm doing it. - BryanG412, on 07/14/2009, -0/+4Smelling the bathroom after your girlfriend takes a ***** is reality slapping you in the face.
- baronvonnasty, on 07/14/2009, -0/+4Bert and Ernie should listen.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gobiYga4q0Y - jojowasa, on 07/14/2009, -0/+3Agreed. It's just not right.
- XedLos, on 07/15/2009, -0/+2Just look b4 u sit. common sense
- scotchyscotch, on 07/14/2009, -1/+3Great scotch! I say! Fur burger! Good God man, there must be a less vomit inducing description you could use, perhaps crescent p-on?
- ssquared22, on 07/14/2009, -0/+2Establishing personal space came be tough, but we all need it for certain.
- fluidfoundation, on 07/14/2009, -2/+3Legs if you're lucky. while I'll gladly bury my face in a fur burger voluntarily, don't shave your whispering eye with something I use on my face.
- tugger, on 07/14/2009, -1/+2must be up at all times except when she's sitting on it.
It only has one purpose, use it only for that. - tugger, on 07/14/2009, -0/+1Oh yeah.. Yahoo Answers... I was there..
One of the reasons I love digg. - smacksaw, on 07/15/2009, -0/+1If you don't know that already, no list is going to help you. You're not "relationship material" if you aren't already anticipating those things. That's what a good partner does, that's the sort of person you want to live with.
Instead of saying "Things you should figure out before moving in together" it should be titled "Things you need to already be doing to stand a chance with a woman"...because, believe me...this list is for men more than it's for women. If you meet a woman who doesn't already know that...well, congratulations, you've just met the star of Jon and Kate Plus 8, Kate Gosselin. - Lefts, on 07/15/2009, -0/+1And it dulls the razor like nobody's business.
- minnymoo, on 07/15/2009, -0/+1“Okay, you know what?”
She says, “Yes,” truly believing that whatever it is I’m about to say is going to show her the way to keep me forever.
I say, “Okay, I want to ***** twice a day minimum or at least have my dick sucked. I want you to swallow. I want to butt-***** you every once in a while, and I want you to like it…”
By this point I’m sure her mom is having an aneurysm, but I can’t stop. I feel like every word I say should have been said a million times before over the course of our relationship. I feel like every word I say should come as no shock to Casey, but I know they do. I feel like every word I say makes up for every load I ever shot in our relationship.
For these reasons I keep saying, “…I never want you to tell me a stupid ***** story about ***** I couldn’t care less about again. I want you to get rid of your cats. I want you to lose 15 pounds off your ass. I want you to never want to get married or have kids. I want you to like video games. I want you to think retards are funny. I want you to not care if I say ‘*****’ in front of your mom. I want you to wish Marie Osmond was dead.”
The Marie Osmond line was too much for Casey’s mom. She says, “Why would you ever want Marie Osmond dead? She’s one of the most courageous women of our time.”
I remember a line from some ***** movie Casey made me watch a month or two ago because it was one of her favorites. I decided to use the line on her. “I guess I just want you to be something you’re not.”
I don’t know if she remembers that the line is from the movie or not, but she goes back to crying. Her mom goes back to hugging her and telling her that everything’s going to be okay, and I turn up the volume on my stereo and listen to Dr. Dre’s “Can’t Make a Ho a Housewife,” which I’m pretty sure makes me smile.
-Excerpt from The Average American Male by Chad Kultgen - NegativeDigg, on 07/14/2009, -0/+0RULE #1. Not bitching and nagging!
- inactive, on 07/15/2009, -2/+2You must always have an exit strategy.
- JanSimpson, on 07/15/2009, -1/+1Wow - does a woman really to have a kid - with out having the contractual bindings? I mean seriously - forgotten the words "Wedlock" means just that locked in together - what is the saying - once you say I do - you are now related - LOL
- ATrueRoman, on 07/15/2009, -1/+1Find consent to your parents at least.
- blackhole37, on 07/14/2009, -6/+210. Are you ok with burning in hell
lol
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