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When Gamers Have Babies: Level 1 Human (PIC)

techeblog.com — This is what happens when gamers have babies, they start out as a "level 1 human", and gain experience points daily to reach the next level.

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  • MrB398, on 10/10/2007, -19/+72Haha, that picture is priceless
    • bysin, on 10/10/2007, -25/+12Somehow I can already tell that kid is going to be a virgin the rest of his life.
      • chibimmy, on 10/10/2007, -5/+64Just like his parents?
      • Terr01, on 10/10/2007, -1/+39Not with that charisma!
      • tech42er, on 10/10/2007, -3/+5Comment abuse, but the stats are from DnD, not WoW.
      • browwiw, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2That baby does not have a Charisma of 18. ***** your pants and drooling are not conducive to influencing others. Albeit, babies do have a Racial Trait called "Make Adults Stupid". Also, babies do not have an Int of 6. A German Shepard has, at best, an Int of 2 and I have yet to meet a baby that has better problem solving skills than a German Shepard.
        • ohgr, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2No, but I bet you he can con that Blacksmith into giving him a +1 Long Sword.
    • jamesong, on 10/10/2007, -17/+10haha 1337 diggs
      http://aycu11.webshots.com/image/24170/2005002858399921651_rs.jpg
  • goeatsmsht, on 10/10/2007, -21/+12That is a great Pic +1 Digg
  • skjede, on 10/10/2007, -13/+52He'll need more dex to wield the monarch of Hipitus Hopitus.
    • HanSolo69, on 10/10/2007, -0/+10do you know the meaning of the word "monarch"?
  • gogun, on 10/10/2007, -16/+6should the wisdom points be 0, and dex points be higher?. And what about the armor class?
    /nerd
    • Jwoey, on 10/10/2007, -1/+10how dexterous do you think a baby is?
    • roberthead, on 10/10/2007, -4/+13Uh, no.

      Dex higher? Have you met any newborns?

      If he was a 3rd edition character, he'd be comatose at Wis 0. But given the order of the ability scores, and the AC lower than 10, he's clearly a 1st edition character. Maybe 2nd. Either way, no.

      And yeah, where did he get four points of AC? Size: tiny?

      /bigger nerd
      • DiamondIce, on 10/10/2007, -0/+9the starting base AC for all creatures and objects is 10, add the -4 for the 3 dex and you get 6 AC. Technically though his HP should be 1, not 2.
        Also, humans (regardless of their stated size) are always classed as medium creatures.

        /biggest nerd
        • DiamondIce, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4bah, 5 hp not 1, damn clumsy fingers.
  • mdjohnson1, on 10/10/2007, -3/+107Better to start as a level 1 wizard
    • a2fan, on 10/10/2007, -14/+3All baby boys are Wizz-ards... if you change enough diapers, you'll be soaked in pee.
    • MadEnvoy, on 10/10/2007, -4/+33I put on my robe and wizard hat.
      • spidoman, on 10/10/2007, -1/+32That's how the level one human was created...
  • mishabear, on 10/10/2007, -5/+124I suspect the kid gets +CHR points vs. females as well. Adorable pic. I had to send it to my gaming friends.
    • Toshibi, on 10/10/2007, -2/+33I wasn't going to digg it, but his Charisma was just too high. Dugg!
    • LegOfLamb, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1He would make a good bard, or maybe rogue.
  • SmackMyMac, on 10/10/2007, -23/+6I can see the bumper sticker:

    "My baby can kick your baby's ass... on WoW"
  • Junkey, on 10/10/2007, -3/+45I guess he goes and PvEs in the sandbox.
    • chicagodj, on 10/10/2007, -9/+3Wouldn't that be PVP?
      • Dubbsacc, on 10/10/2007, -4/+3If there were other kids with him.

        But it's just sand, so PvE
  • Waskonator, on 10/10/2007, -43/+3Wow. No really. This means WoW really is taking over the world.
    Im gonna grab my aluminum foil helmet.
    • Dubbsacc, on 10/10/2007, -1/+35Char stats aren't like that in WoW.

      More like DnD is taking over the world, not WoW.
    • keeganspeck, on 10/10/2007, -0/+7Aluminum? N00b. At least get a bronze one, I mean, think about the lack of defense.
  • TH3W1R3D, on 10/10/2007, -33/+7I dont care if i'm buried. I am sick of this goddamn picture. Its everywhere.
  • mazerrackham, on 10/10/2007, -1/+206Dammit...is it too late to reroll?
    • donte, on 10/10/2007, -1/+10'Fraid so... but if they intend to align their child towards chaotic neutral, I'd be sure to supply him with plenty of Healing Bottles. Those HP are just pathetic.
      • GMorgan, on 10/10/2007, -3/+6Like *****, every kid I've seen is pure evil. They know what they are doing is pissing you off, it's their form of pleasure.
        • ChristianMagic, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Aaah, well neutral evil is the purest form of evil- er wait isn't that lawful evil?
      • gandhi2, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4That's probably how most babies start out: CN, concerned primarily for his own well being, however he is able to achieve it, with no particular attempt to adhere to or depart from social norms.
  • Ellipson, on 10/10/2007, -3/+183I guess daddy already put on his robe and wizard hat.
  • RedHerringHack, on 10/10/2007, -8/+3Yeah, I think the dex is too high.
    • Pixelpaws, on 10/10/2007, -3/+16In D&D, player characters cannot have below a 3 in any stat.
  • Trynemjoel, on 10/10/2007, -4/+22More pics of the shirt and other shirts like it at Jinx.com
    http://www.jinx.com/minigeeks/baby/video_games/level_1_human_creeper.html?&cid=0&catid=12&pix=all&ps=20#pix
    • tsteele93, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2How do I short jinx.com stock? I have a newborn and would like a couple of the way overpriced outfits. I'm dumb enough to be willing to hand over the cash for something that will make my friends chuckle and raise my standing in my geek social circles. But they do not have the newborn sizes in stock for any of the good shirts.

      Bad business plan...
  • MrM1yagi, on 10/10/2007, -27/+5Knowing the parents are obsessed with WoW, it might be dead now from starvation. :(
    • anonymous4712, on 10/10/2007, -4/+16try Dungeons and Dragons. Those arent WoW stats asstard.
      • crazzy88ss, on 10/10/2007, -6/+7He's sorry he's not nerdy enough to know both WoW and dungeons and dragons stats..
      • tsteele93, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4Dugg for the use of the word asstard.
      • MrM1yagi, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Well since it is D&D (don't be so hostile, my apologies), we know now that it is alive.
  • KotoOni, on 10/10/2007, -15/+1Now, what MMORPG would best fit for that picture???
  • Malarie, on 10/10/2007, -9/+9Where is his copper sword???
  • zyklon, on 10/10/2007, -9/+5I wonder what Jinx.com thinks of this.
  • Nick22, on 10/10/2007, -1/+86This is much more like DnD than WoW people...
    • GMorgan, on 10/10/2007, -7/+7Yes but people who complain about both are ignorant of both. DnD defo owns WoW though.
  • VSLOATHE, on 10/10/2007, -3/+37Pretty sure this relates more to D&D than MMOs.
  • semengilligan, on 10/10/2007, -21/+2I'm calling for a DNA test i find it impossible that a wow player is having sex let alone producing offspring or even married its obviously the mail mans Baby or maybe that guy from work.
  • f4nt0m4s, on 10/10/2007, -11/+79awww...they start out as 40 year old virgins so young
  • shaun1018, on 10/10/2007, -7/+16Needs to reroll.
  • Kevmike, on 10/10/2007, -11/+3His birth was the first and last time he'll ever see a vagina.
    • shaun1018, on 10/10/2007, -2/+5Could have been a C-Section.
    • Veritate, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2At least give Triumph the Wonder Dog attribution...
    • bagelpirate, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Its Triumph the Insult Comic dog.
  • dorkino, on 10/10/2007, -2/+31Nub.
  • TheBenchWarmer, on 10/10/2007, -12/+3Now all he needs is the Sword of a Thousand Truths.
  • akatherder, on 10/10/2007, -3/+39Yeah I could totally take that kid.
    • Ziqing, on 10/10/2007, -4/+2Lets hope no lvl 70 horde is gonna corpse camp it...
  • greendaybass666, on 10/10/2007, -12/+4That isn't referring to WoW, none of the stats match
    And it would of said a class, not just a race, i'm thinking its an older game...an older gamer might be able to tell you
    • LexMortis, on 10/10/2007, -0/+13Dungeon & Dragons.
    • jhaks, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Time Stop + Improved Alacrity FTW
    • buryme, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3For the record, there are plenty of recent games that use the DnD system or variations of it. You don't necessarily have to be an "old gamer" to recognize it.
  • munkeyhatecleen, on 10/10/2007, -4/+40Charisma score of 18 imparts "Spell of Super Cute!!". User gains ability to capture hearts despite frequent spitting up and soiling of self. +6 modifier when used against females of target species.
  • UlicBelouve, on 10/10/2007, -10/+6I'm glad I visited the image section of Digg so that I could see the plethora of wonderful contributions such as this one.
    • shaun1018, on 10/10/2007, -1/+13I'm glad I visited the comment section so I got a healthy amount of sarcasm from posts such as this one.
    • ricree, on 10/10/2007, -2/+1I'm glad I visited the main page, where which has all of the most recent items so that I don't have to go clicking through a bunch of different sections to see everything.
  • shaun1018, on 10/10/2007, -2/+75Terrible parents... need to be power leveling him.
  • blakespot, on 10/10/2007, -10/+11Hey, my daughter was first! http://pix.blakespot.com/view/computers/geekshirts/IMG_1477.JPG.html
    and also with: http://pix.blakespot.com/view/computers/geekshirts/apple_shirt_rory.jpg.html
    ...course the wife's down with it too: http://pix.blakespot.com/view/computers/geekshirts/IMG_3239.JPG.html
    • Hetman, on 10/10/2007, -2/+15Those three pictures just inspired me to want to start a family.
  • completerobot, on 10/10/2007, -3/+15I love how there are only about 3 people here who got that it's referencing DnD.
    • Ackoogin, on 10/10/2007, -1/+13Indeed, digg appears to be full of WoW nubs :/
    • ChristianMagic, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2Haha, yeah first thing I did was start making sure the stats were right (ie. 10 - Dex modifier DOES INDEED equal his AC)
    • ohgr, on 10/10/2007, -2/+1Oh I thought it Everquest
      /sarcasm
    • archlich, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1At least they aren't using 1.0 with THATC0.
      edit: wrong area, but still applies
  • halfdeadcat, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2My son has that onesie and I love it, but how on earth does a baby have an AC of 6?
    • Ellipson, on 10/10/2007, -1/+3"Tiny" size AC bonus?
    • Pixelpaws, on 10/10/2007, -2/+210 (base) with a -4 dex mod? That's all I can think of...
    • iradik, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2What's wrong with Armor Class of 6? I mean, first off, AC of 6 is pretty weak. Plus the baby is inside a crib, which can protect him, though he can't carry it around. All in all, I'd say 6 is justified. Plus, this is just a t-shirt!
    • archlich, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1THATC0 of 6 means they would get hit nearly all the time
  • omnirusa, on 10/10/2007, -9/+3Come one people, im half ok with submitting old things, but this... its past the limit
  • RavagesOfTime, on 10/10/2007, -5/+2Well, he was conceived by geek parents.

    That means he could conceive another geek baby himself someday. There is hope after all.
  • gandhi2, on 10/10/2007, -9/+4Must be d20 stats. Where's the COM? See, they have it all in CHA, which is good for Bard/Rogue....but what parent wishes that on their kid? Plus...quite obviously d20 AC rules....base armor class of 10, modified by DEX (-4 @ 3), assuming no dodge bonuses, gives 6.

    What a load of crap! If my kid is gonna wear a shirt, he'll the shirt of a gaming MAN, not some prissified dumbed-down rule set! 1st ed., or no edition. Better yet, Hackmaster. Now THERE's a game that weeds out chumps. Just like the good old days, calculating your priors and particulars with a system Deep Thought would scratch it's head at, and computing your critical hit damage with advanced differential calculus. If you don't get to use a Maxwell equation now and then, why bother playing at all??!
    • gandhi2, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1...he'll wear* the shirt...
      ...would scratch its* head at....

      What happened to the edit button just then?
    • Veritate, on 10/10/2007, -1/+1No COM in 1st ed. COM came in the second edition. And classically 10 was the worst possible AC, and his dex doesn't justify making it better, so I'd assume it's the size that gives him the bonus. Or that singlet's a lot tougher than it looks :)
      • gandhi2, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Huh. I thought Hackmaster was based on 1st ed. rules, and it includes a very important COM stat that cannot be modified at all. Makes rolling Knight Errants near impossible. I do remember the older AC rules, where it's possible in certain cases to have negative AC, which meant very high defense. What I was pointing out was that in 3.5+, WotC reversed it to give higher AC numbers for better defense; 10 being just skin(sometimes higher depending on the race), modified by the DEX, which for his stat of 3 gives a -4 mod. Then you'd add the armor scores, which both grant armor mod and limit max DEX mod. His Cloth Tabard shouldn't give much more than 0-1 armor bonus, and cloth has no max DEX mod. Still, my point stands: DnD 3.5+ is for pussies who can't/won't do basic integratal calculus or advanced statistics! It's time to take a stand, fellow geeks! Don't let this orangecountypalmspringssuburbanyuppiespawn abscond with our hobby! Lay down the smack, let them know that there was nerd-life before d20, Pokemon, and the Xbox360-133t. There is but one God, and the Gygax is his prophet, praise be his name and all that he creates. He is, after all, a lvl 10 DM! :)
    • iradik, on 10/10/2007, -2/+1bla bla bla..
  • MewtwoReturns, on 10/10/2007, -2/+14There's no way that kid has 18 Charisma. He's not that cute. The shirt is hilarious, but his CHR score should be like...10-12 max.
    • Terr01, on 10/10/2007, -2/+1It's a "Baby" class thing. Baby Charisma I, but yeah, probably not BC II.
    • gandhi2, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Given that most babies seem to get their parents to do pretty insane things, I'd say he earns his high CHA. Better at manipulation than most Rogues 20 yrs older! The real trick to a master of deceit is to fool the other person into believing that they are in control. ;) You are confusing CHA with COM(comeliness), and you know what they say: "Comeliness is in eye of the beholder..." For the purpose of D&D, it's a strictly societal metric. You may not find a bearded dwarven female attractive as a human, but if it gets the typical red-bearded, red-blooded mountain dweller turned on, then she deserves a high COM. I'm pretty sure that a baby would get some kind of COM modifier just for being a baby.
  • bridow, on 10/10/2007, -1/+51proof that all gamers arent virgins.
    • MosaicM, on 10/10/2007, -3/+1Well if the man was the gamer that doesn't really prove anything.
      Poor guy, the gamer in question is black.
  • Diggingspoon, on 10/10/2007, -9/+2Old tshirt is ooooold. In fact, this shirt is sold by JINX. JINX, people. The one with a connection to G4.

    Buried as lame, then re-buried as corporate whoring.
  • fastang, on 10/10/2007, -6/+2Gamers have sex?
    • Aticper, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2No, but we have learned to grow babies in test tubes.
  • shrimp199, on 10/10/2007, -3/+3its baby pking time!
  • Lister169, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4I remember this kid from Camelot...where I used to push the pram a lot.
  • Akir, on 10/10/2007, -0/+13You're a wizard Harry.
    • cielo23, on 10/10/2007, -2/+2I put on my robe and wizard hat...
    • ohgr, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1I want to cast Magic Missile
    • Koldkompress, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt!
  • valorsoul, on 10/10/2007, -0/+4Doesn't matter if people miss the D&D references. People will like it because it's cute and nowadays everyone knows what a RPG and stats are. I'm surprised people are getting bent out of shape and arguing about edition 1 v. blah blah blah. Enjoy it for what it is, some parents don't mind displaying their geekness; great we need more people to not be ashamed of who they are. People that try to prove that they're superior on digg by starting inane arguments on the internet (about DnD v. WoW or what edition is t3h b3$5) are lame and need to get some self-confidence and not try to seek it on the internet. Yeah the dex, cha and AC are too high. So what? It's still cool despite being sooooooooo freaking old.
    • Veritate, on 10/10/2007, -1/+2You've taken the "argument" a bit too seriously. No one actually does care what the stats are.

      Well, you know. . . except for the CHA.
    • gandhi2, on 10/10/2007, -0/+2You seem to have missed the point of being a geek. We LIVE for this sort of thing, it ties us all together, from the most socially inept sweaty mouth-breather, to the most well-versed Trekkie, to the convention goers, to the Goth Vampire: Masquerade LARPer....we all want to nitpick about something. Kind of what being a geek is about; being obsessive about one or more aspect of life that you enjoy. It's all in good fun, usually, but that doesn't mean that the passion of the debate should be dulled!!
      e.g.: "He said Hans Solo was cooler than Cpt. Kirk!" "Kick the little *****'s ass."

      And the point is moot. It is factually plausible that DnD d20 sucks monkey ballz.
  • MiKom, on 10/10/2007, -0/+10I've seen this picture as demotivation poster with caption:
    NERDS - they are starting to breed
  • Matt174e, on 10/10/2007, -1/+26His dad's wearing a shirt saying "I'm with n00b"
  • ChristianMagic, on 10/10/2007, -1/+3He got lucky he rolled a five on HP.
    • salinemist, on 10/10/2007, -0/+6Totally inaccurate, there's no way that kid could survive a hit from a short sword.
      • browwiw, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3Unless the kid was attack by a Wizard. Wizards can't kill *****.
      • ohgr, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3What's to say the kid doesn't have Psionic Abilities? I hope the parents rolls for a Wild Talent
  • Veritate, on 10/10/2007, -0/+3With the charisma that high, how many henchmen can he command?

    I'd say probably at least 2 (figuring even in single-parent households, the baby will have at least one other person to command).
    • raithetarkon, on 10/10/2007, -0/+1He's not a high enough level to get the leadership feat and thus acquire followers noob!

      :P
  • monsenanna, on 10/10/2007, -0/+0Buried as dupe.
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