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- dongcha9, on 10/12/2007, -2/+61it only took 60 years for us to find something funny the nazis did during WWII.
- siodine, on 10/12/2007, -1/+58Oh those silly Nazis are at it again...
- D3koy, on 10/12/2007, -5/+48Ja!
(that's all the German I know :( ) - drizek, on 10/12/2007, -11/+43First result on google for "good things hitler did"
"WHAT ABOUT ALL THE GOOD THINGS HITLER DID? (version 5)
By Dwayne Yancey
Copyright 2005; all rights reserved.
(A man speaks directly to the audience.)
MAN: Why is it nobody wants to talk about all the good things Hitler did?
Six million Jews dead in the gas chambers. That’s all anybody wants to talk about. You’d think that’s all Hitler ever did.
Now, I’m not one of those crackpots who says the Holocaust never happened. But let’s put things in perspective. Let’s look at the big picture. Let’s look at all the lives Hitler saved.
That’s right, saved.
You want to know who the real heroes of the Third Reich were? They weren’t people like Goering or Goebels or Eichmann. Phw! They were thugs. Or worse, bureaucrats.
No, I’m talking about the true visionaries of the Reich: The scientists! People like Franz Muller, Eberhard Schairer, Erich Schoniger. Now those are your heroes. Those are the names you should remember. But you don’t do you? Shame on you. Shame.
They were the first scientists to establish a link between smoking and lung cancer. (Optional: Muller ran the first controlled epidemiological study in 1939; Schairer and Schoniger confirmed his results in 1943.) That’s right: The goose-stepping Nazis were the ones who first determined that smoking was hazardous to your health.
So put that in your pipe and smoke it.
It was Hitler who banned smoking on buses and trains. Who refused to issue ration coupons for tobacco to pregnant women. It was Hitler – Hitler! – who cracked down on tobacco advertising and decreed that tobacco advertising could not portray smoking as a glamorous, masculine pastime. The Nazis specifically forbid cigarette ads that associated smoking with sports – or auto racing. Hitler called these measures "the beginning of the end" of the vice that fouled the lungs and sapped the moral character of the master race.
Roosevelt, he always had that damned cigarette holder. Churchill had his cigar. Hitler, he abstained completely. So think about it: Who really won World War II? I’ll tell you who won: The smokers won World War II.
But if you want to call me an anti-smoking Nazi, you go right ahead. I take that as a compliment. (Lights out.)
------- THE END ---------" - knightblade2oo4, on 10/12/2007, -8/+39But what about all the _good_ things Hitler did?
- knightblade2oo4, on 10/12/2007, -6/+30Ich bin ein Berliner
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -0/+23"Six million Jews dead in the gas chambers."
It wasn't just Jews, they just get all the press. Millions of other non-jews were also wiped out. - Namco, on 10/12/2007, -3/+24Nazis = Pure Evil
German Engineering = Fun - avcore, on 10/12/2007, -0/+20Dugg because if I was hired by a company that built tanks today and made a manual like that I would most likely be shot.
- marinist, on 10/12/2007, -0/+20Translated from one page:
"With two fingers you can...
Activate 700 PS
Move 60 Tonnes
Drive at 45kph on roads
Drive at 20kph across country
Operate under 4 meters of water (very unlikely: the U-Panzer program failed, and this doesn't qualify).
And remember: it only takes on finger to greet Hitler. - drizek, on 10/12/2007, -4/+23He designed the VW beetle.
- legendxx, on 10/12/2007, -0/+18@knightblade
He fixed a broken Germany. He refused to pay, unfair (arguable), war penalties to countries they fought in WW1 and instead used it to rebuild a shattered economy and industrial capacity. It would kind of be like finding someone who could rebuild Iraq to a world power in 10 years. It's just a shame that he used his new world power to destroy half of Europe. - thtroyer, on 10/12/2007, -9/+26@Mountaineer1024
Well, for starters, he did fix (or helped accelerate) Germany's broken (depression) economy. - noreturn, on 10/12/2007, -3/+18Stop being such a semantics Nazi.
- vinchu, on 10/12/2007, -2/+17The title is very wrong. The word Nazi is very badly used. German army's name was WEHRMACHT, and soldiers and heads of the Wehrmacht were not Nazis. Nazi is the political ideologie of the NSDAP, Hitler's political part.
Once again, this is terribly wrong to think and say that the Germans soldiers were all Nazis. They were not for the bigger part. The confusion is also made very often on online game servers's chats.
Title should be : "WWII Wehrmacht Tank Manuals - Unexpectedly Hilarious! (PICTURES INCLUDED)" - blackjack75, on 10/12/2007, -0/+14"Dugg because if I was hired by a company that built tanks today and made a manual like that I would most likely be shot."
Well, tell them they are worse than the nazis! - antron, on 10/12/2007, -0/+14Hogan!!!
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -0/+12This tank manual all makes sense now. It's all about the poonany.
- Flashman, on 10/12/2007, -0/+11Nein, das ist mein Hamburger!
- marinist, on 10/12/2007, -1/+11"He fixed a broken Germany."
More accurately, he gave desperate people jobs--to a munitions and war machine industry that was itching to get back into gear. Post-war Germany wasn't "fixed" on any level--and they couldn't blame allied bombing for the whole mess.
On some levels, Germany is still recovering from WWII. - antron, on 10/12/2007, -0/+10Ve Germans are not all smiles und sunshine
- jamend, on 10/12/2007, -2/+10Ich weiß nicht.
(Aber ich bin auch ein Berliner) - gijoel, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8Spring time for Hitler and Germany.
- aviazn, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8Wenn ist das Nunnstruck git und slotermeyer?
- nrfx, on 10/12/2007, -5/+12Warum?
- extratired, on 10/12/2007, -2/+9how a bout the famous autobahn? 'invented' to transport military equipment at high speed.
- AngryBacon, on 10/12/2007, -6/+13Warum nicht?
- HUKI365, on 10/12/2007, -0/+7Agreed. Can't go wrong with Audi, BMW and Heckler & Koch.
- ElChimbonda, on 10/12/2007, -1/+7Everything costs money stupid.
- owenadam, on 10/12/2007, -2/+8I think that has also been translated into Arabic
- garrettnb, on 10/12/2007, -0/+6and Braun, Mercedes, and the Hofbrauhaus (not engineering related) but still a good thing
- JamesShiell, on 10/12/2007, -2/+7However, one should not assume the Wehrmacht was politically independent, as a nation's army should be. The oath was changed so that rather than have the army swear loyalty to the state they swore personal loyalty to Hitler. Further, given the atrocities on the eastern front and the lack of backbone shown by many of the Army commanders, preferring Hitler's whims to the the solution that fits the military needs at hands (the kessel at Stalingrad being the perfect example), many histories have a convincing argument against the Wehrmacht being blameless through 'just following orders'.
Which is not to say the rank-and-file were Nazis - most of those sort went for the SS. And some of the commanders, such as Guderian (dismissed for arguing with Hitler during the collapse of East Prussia) and Rommel (committed suicide after the failed plot on Hitler's life) certainly did stand up, albeit at a late stage. But the Wehrmacht leadership certainly have a burden of complicity, if nothing else. - bludo, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5I have to say that the germans had great artists in the ww2. Very good design on uniforms, logos, vehicles etc
- KyotoWolf, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4"Very good design on uniforms"
Thank Hugo Boss for that - marinist, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4These manuals weren't written by Goebbels + co, but by the tank contractors.
Btw: even Porsche built some tanks in WWII. - po6ot, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5The German sense of humour is no laughing matter.
- soogy, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3Ze Fuhrer has never said zis "baby!"
- Cglass, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3@jtizzle nein
- gaijin, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3Colonel Klink and Stalag 13?
- Avantime, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3The Tigerefibel and the Pantherfibel are not new, but unfortunately there are no full English translations available online. These manuals have funny illustrations because no tank crew wanted to read the formal manuals which are written more for academics than soldiers.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -3/+6What about all the good things Dubya did?
- Gerolsteiner, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4Alles gute.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4Ich bin Australier, Ich weis nur ein bischen Deutsch... Und ich möchte gerade sagen: Deutsch Sind Kühl!!!
- Dsn989, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4Deutschland is happy and gay!
We're marching to a faster pace
Look out, here comes the master race!
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Rhineland's a fine land once more!
Springtime for Hitler and Germany
Watch out, Europe
We're going on tour! - nixonrichard, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3Ich würde es schlagen
- gameguy43, on 10/12/2007, -3/+6driving alone is like driving with hitler.
- jtizzle, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4Can someone please translate this thread?
- Hungryhaney, on 10/12/2007, -1/+3@marinist
"Operate under 4 meters of water (very unlikely: the U-Panzer program failed, and this doesn't qualify)."
The Germans actually DID get it working. It just depended on the ground they were treading on, some ground, like deep mud would make the tank get stuck, but the tanks themselves were water-proof and continued to run.
Sad but true, the American tanks were highly outmatched. Panther vs Sherman kill ratios were 1/30! - KosherX, on 10/12/2007, -0/+2I did. It's from Monty Python Flying Circus, of course.
Funniest joke in the world, indeed. -
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