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- gsherwood, on 10/12/2007, -1/+62Reminded me of Drive-Thru by Tenacious D.
Jack Black: um...ok...you know how you have the six-piece nuggets?
Drive-thru guys: six piece mcnuggets.
JB: Just, uh, can you give me just four nuggets? I'm, I'm tryin'to...
Drive thru-guy: They come in six or twelve piece...do you want service?
JB: Shut up and listen to my order. Take the six nuggets, and throw two of them
away. I'm just wantin' a four-nugget thing. I'm tryin to watch my calorie
intake.
Drive-thru guy: They come in six or twelve pieces sir...
JB: Put two of them up your ass, and give me four chicken mcnuggets. - PatrickFisher, on 10/12/2007, -1/+47From the 'Quotes' section of the article:
"'Do you want cheese on that?' -- Asked when a customer ordered a plain cheeseburger."
This question may sound stupid, but I worked a McDonalds for a few months, and you would not believe the number of people who ask for a plain cheeseburger when they want a plain hamburger. I think they do it on purpose, so that they can get free food when their order is wrong... which it always is. - mediaphile, on 10/12/2007, -1/+39@blapierre:
boiled to your liking = boiled how you want it
boiled to your likeness = boiled in the shape of your face - EternalDarkWing, on 10/12/2007, -1/+32On a trip to New York City I passed a restaurant with a sign out front that read, "Toss your own salad for only $2.99!".
- AmishRefugee, on 10/12/2007, -1/+27I have but one: At subway, i ordered a subway club sandwich
Her: Would you like that toasted?
Me: No thank you.
...She immediately turns around and toasts it - AmishRefugee, on 10/12/2007, -5/+31rambo, please don't pimp your articles in the comments for semi-related articles, it makes you seem desperate for diggs....
- oOLiquidNightOo, on 10/12/2007, -5/+30when i was in college i went to the movies with my girlfriend. it was the middle of the day and i was starving. we went to the concession stand and this guy steps up to wait on us. i'm not sure what happened, but i just had a brain lock.
"i'll have 2 regular hamburgers, a fry and a large shake"
the guy just looked at me (rightfully so) like WTF? my girlfriend, finally asked "what are you doing?" for another 5 seconds or so, i felt completely alienated like .. what they hell, why don't they want me to eat? then, it clicked and all 3 of us started laughing like idiots. ok well, 2 of us laughed "like idiots", 1 of us WAS an idiot. - teddyrux, on 10/12/2007, -4/+26"Is there any meat in the veggie rolls?"
Questions like these are incredibly valid. I've read the ingredients of a dip called "Veggie Dip" to discover gelatin. - elnerdo, on 10/12/2007, -3/+24Do NOT link to ebaumsworld.
Ever.
Do not even go there. - mediaphile, on 10/12/2007, -2/+23@spudnic:
or the customer could just not eat two of the nuggets. - jschrab, on 10/12/2007, -1/+19@blapierre:
Also, I think they meant "broiled" steak, not BOILED steak. Eewww... - Ystig, on 10/12/2007, -1/+19Many weird examples. But nothing much weirder than a restaurant I've gone to a few times in Toronto's Chinatown...which serves Forehead Person:
http://ystig.com/foreheadperson.jpg - oOLiquidNightOo, on 10/12/2007, -7/+25if she's kinda hot & asks 6 or 12, i use to respond by saying "which would you say you prefer 6 or 12 inches?"
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -2/+20A quote that I heard in a restaurant once:
son: "dad, do you ever get so hungry that you eat so fast that you bite your fingers?"
dad: "sometimes..." - meepus, on 10/12/2007, -0/+18Most people don't realize what gelatin comes from.
- Rikushix, on 10/12/2007, -2/+20"Parking for drive-through customers only." -- A sign at a McDonald's in California.
Sounds stupid, but actually makes perfect sense. The McDonald's near where I live has the exact same sign (maybe sometime I should take a picture :D) It's basically a parking spot reserved for people using the drive-through who ordered something that's gonna take a long time. Then they can wait for their food without holding the other drive through customers up. When their order's completely ready, one of the employees comes out and delivers it to their car.
The rest of them are perfectly moronic though. Where would we be without rinkworks :) - NCSUGavin, on 10/12/2007, -1/+18This happened to me when I was working in a sub shop.....
College student comes in....
Him: How big is a 6 inch sub???
Me: About 6 inches....
Him: Can I see the bread??
Me: Yeah *shows him the bread*
Him: hmm...how big is a 12 inch sub??
me: uhh...about .... 12 inches....
him: can i see the bread?
me: Imagine two of these *showing him the 6 inch bread AGAIN* - spinningobo, on 10/12/2007, -1/+16I used to work at pick up stix (an asian take-out place, for those who don't know). You have no idea the kids of things that people ordered.
For example (at an ASIAN TAKE OUT PLACE):
I had MULTIPLE instances of people ordering ice cream.
One time an 80ish year old man walked in and ordered fried chicken and mashed potatoes, being completely serious. To top it off, I turned back and looked at my manager, who proceeds in telling me, "What? Give the guy what he wants."
And my personal favorite...
One of the blondest girls I've ever seen in my life walks up and orders SHRIMP, with WHITE MEAT ONLY.
I was like, "Uhh... you want shrimp... with only white meat?"
She responded with attitude, "Yeah, you can do that, can't you?"
*stiffling a laugh* "Yes, maam. We can do that." - mediaphile, on 10/12/2007, -1/+16Clearly, there's no shortage of morons in the world.
This story isn't about food, but just another testament to how dumb customers can be. I used to work at a movie theater, often in the box office. A man came up and looked at the electronic marquee behind me, apparently browsing for a movie.
Man: One ticket for You Can Count on Monte.
Me: You Can Count on Monte?
Man: Yeah.
Me: (blank stare)
At that point I turned around to look at our marquee just to make sure we didn't have a movie titled You Can Count on Monte. I proceeded to print him out a ticket for his selection, The Count of Monte Christo. - ardenr, on 10/12/2007, -0/+15I asked for lukewarm water once, and was told that sorry, they only had really cold and really hot water... The guy behind the counter seemed a bit stunned that an 8 year old could tell him how to solve this problem...
- CiXeL, on 10/12/2007, -2/+16this is kind of unfair.
these jobs are made so you dont have to think. basically the people behind the counter are automatons.
if the corporations representing these businesses could use robots they would.
ive never worked fast food but i have worked retail before and you get so robotic in your talking and actions that you really are just running on automatic and not actually thinking.
treat retail people like a very simple computer and you will get the results you want alot of the time. - akamia123, on 10/12/2007, -0/+14This is especially true with soups. Often vegetable soup is made with chicken or beef stock.
- yourmom, on 10/12/2007, -0/+13I work at Cold Stone Creamery. We had a guy come in and pass a bad cashier's check (ignorant clerk, we're not even supposed to take cashier's checks at all, let alone counterfeit ones). Anwyays, a guy comes in, tries to make a purchase with a counterfeit casheir's check that looks exactly like the fake one that's hanging in the back room as an example of what not to take. I tell him I'm confused, tell my manager what's going on, she says that she will call 911 and to please keep him busy. For three minutes, I keep him busy, pretending to be stupid and not knowing what's going on with the register. A cop pulls up outside the store after about three minutes and the guys says, oops, gotta run. I say, "No, wait, I got it, I can ring you up now." He says, "Wait, are those cops for me?" I say, "No, of course not." He says, "Okay, cool." The cops came in ten seconds later and arrested his ass.
- ethon, on 10/12/2007, -2/+13I'm a manager at a liquor/wine store, and needless to say, I get asked a bunch of insane questions by all sorts of...different... people all the time. Some more recent ones include:
-A guy asking me if we sell any T-Mobile cellphone minutes. Is this a common thing in other liquor stores, and we are just that much behind the times?
-A lady asking if we sell dice. Again, another very odd question.
-Some really sketchy guy asked me if we had any extra/used razor blades that we dont want anymore. We do, but there's no way in hell I'm giving this guy one to cut up some lines of coke.
I've also had a lady ask me what the difference between white and red wine are.
People never cease to amaze.... - LumpenEloi, on 10/12/2007, -1/+11I worked as an usher at a theater in high school. One time, this woman ordered an extra large popcorn, then loaded it up with synthetic butter. Her husband asked her what time it was, so she flipped her wrist over to check her watch, dumping ALL of the popcorn onto the lobby floor. Then she gave me a dirty look when I started to sweep it up.
- epalla, on 10/12/2007, -1/+11"Parking for drive-through customers only" makes perfect sense. Sometimes you gotta move ahead if you ordered something that's going to take a second. They keep spots open for you for that purpose.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -1/+10There are probably many deli's with that slogan, but one was Wagner's in New Orleans. I had a buddy with the last name Wagner and he was always wearing around the "You can't beat Wagner's Meat" shirt.
- ejectMedia, on 10/12/2007, -1/+10I went to the nicest steakhouse in town here and I ordered a great NY Strip. They asked if I wanted a salad with it, which i did not. She went through all the options with me, and I wanted none of them with my steak. She finally runs out of things to offer me as a side and says:
Waitress: "would you like peaches on your steak?".
Me: "Ummm......not really." - manitoba98xp, on 10/12/2007, -1/+9Assuming your on Windows, maybe. Many sound card drivers (such as my Creative one) allow you to use your audio output as an input (Creative calls it "What U Hear"). Switch your Skype input device to that input temporarily to get the desired effect.
There are third-party drivers (such as Virtual Audio Cables) that achieve the same effect. - buches, on 10/12/2007, -2/+10Post your random thoughts on comment boards without regard for the topic much?
- gaijin, on 10/12/2007, -1/+8I used to serve in dinner houses and after waiting on a million tables and asking the same questions, things start to run together. I don't even know how many times the following took place:
Me: Would you like soup or salad with that?
Diner: I don't know. What's on the Super Salad?
The great thing is that no matter how badly I ran all the words together, THEY felt like the idiot! - AoiTakuma, on 10/12/2007, -0/+7I worked at a theater as well. my favorite is the incredibly obese people that order an extra large popcorn (when the sizes only go up to large) with "extra-extra-extra butter" and a large diet coke (while everything in the place screams Pepsi. They are perfectly happy with the fact that they cutting calories by drinking diet soda and not the least bit concerned with the tons of plaque they are adding to their arteries through the popcorn. Sometimes they would have trouble breathing when they would order
- kixxster, on 10/12/2007, -0/+6@ethon yeah CT is really weird, for the longest time I thought everyone couldn't buy alcohol after 8, and I was amazed when I found you can buy beer (albeit bad beer) at gas stations in NY.
I used to work at CVS before we sold alcohol and you'd be surprised how many people asked us if we did, after looking at all the coolers. And I've said my share of dumb things working the counter there, basically because I start to run on autopilot. - bunni, on 10/12/2007, -0/+6We stock cell minute cards at our liquor store for tmobile and boost next to the phone cards.
- spudnic, on 10/12/2007, -4/+10So you take 2 out the box before you put it in the bag and chuck the spares in the bin, it aint rocket science
- zenzenkevin, on 10/12/2007, -1/+7Less about stupidity and more about differences in Language, there's a restaurant in Tokyo called "Fast Kitchen" which gets (more or less) turned into "Fahsuto Kittchan". Except it takes way to long for them to say it so Japanese Kids walk around calling it "Fa-kin". I certainly did a double take the first time someone said it.
- Jist, on 10/12/2007, -2/+8LOL... the last one was funny. The teenager was like, "this dude wants an airplane on his bread." Umm... I dont think we have that?
- tidu, on 10/12/2007, -3/+8Just make sure the recipient of that statement is female.
- ethon, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5In CT, we have an inclusive list of what we can sell. This list does not include food (a lot of angry customers because we don't sell lime for their Corona...gross, drink Sol if you want Mexican beer), cigars/loose tobacco, lighters?, and quite obviously, phone cards and/or cell phone minutes. Connecticut is a ***** up state....
- blahtastic, on 10/12/2007, -1/+6They have those cell minutes at a lot of convenience stores. Don't know about liquor store prevalence though, wouldn't be the first thing on my mind when going to a liquor store anyway..
- IronChef, on 10/12/2007, -2/+6I remember once when I was teenager in Chicago standing in line of a Burger King...
A person in front of us asked for a burger with the secret sauce.....(I believe at that time the Big Mac was touted having the secret sauce.)
The fast food worker asked "What.....Mayonnaise?
I still to this day laugh at that...I guess you had to be there. - lhnz, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4http://www3.flickr.com/photos/pabuk/146930902/
- answer42, on 10/12/2007, -2/+6Here's mine, from a Chinese restaurant where I worked:
(Blonde middle aged lady) "Does the Chinese Chicken Salad have chicken in it?
(Me) "Uh...yeah...It's called the Chinese CHICKEN Salad..."
(Blonde middle aged lady) "Oh...but it doesn't say chicken in the ingredients"
(Me) "..." - blapierre, on 10/12/2007, -1/+5@jschrab
Obviously you have never had fondue style filet mingon. You boil it and it is extremely tender and juicy. Definitely one of the best ways to cook it. - djepik, on 10/12/2007, -2/+5hahahaha pretty great. Except for the last one. I sure as hell wouldn't know what somebody meant if they asked for it "plain" there are many varying degrees of plainness he could have meant a plain sandwich with nothing but the meat (that would be pretty terrible), nothing but the meat and cheese or hell only the meat and cheese.... there are so many combinations.
But other than that pretty great. - livestradamus, on 10/12/2007, -1/+4"Curried Ghost"
They could've meant to say Curried Gosht (ghost in hindi/urdu translates to meat or beef) - Mikecol, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3"I've read the ingredients of a dip called "Veggie Dip" to discover gelatin."
Veggie dip isn't vegetarian dip, it's dip for vegetables. - nyccharlie, on 10/12/2007, -3/+6There was an Indian restaurant near me that served, "Curried Ghost", obviously they meant curried goat.
- techie4life, on 10/12/2007, -6/+9I work at a McDonalds and 4 pieces only come in happy meals and if a customer only wants 4 pieces and were slow they can pay the regular price and we can have them keep the other 2 on assembly but if were busy the drivethru-ot dosent have time to yell back only 4(its impossible to ring up 4 outside of a happy meal) and that would end up being confused when the runner for you order is looking for a 6 piece and there isn't one.
- Jubalicious, on 10/12/2007, -2/+5That was a good story. I liked the part about the cheese being orange. Great success!
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