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130 Comments
- dankoleary, on 10/12/2007, -7/+176This article made me laugh harder than a concrete brick tied to a duck.
- TheWalkingDude, on 10/12/2007, -7/+113I have a feeling these comments are going to get ugly, like Ann Coulter in a Republican Bukkake video called "stir up the pot".
- SparQy, on 10/12/2007, -5/+1019. "The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t." sounds like a rip-off of a line I recall in a Douglas Adams book about something "floating there in mid air, much like a brick wouldn't"
- dcmjzero, on 10/12/2007, -4/+84similes are a subset of analogies.
- jaydj, on 10/12/2007, -6/+77Your mom is as buried as your comment
- therippa, on 10/12/2007, -5/+68"He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it."
I can totally picture Stewie from The Family Guy saying that. - RadiantBeing, on 10/31/2007, -2/+59excellent catch Sparqy:
"The great ships hung motionless in the air, over every nation on Earth. Motionless they hung, huge, heavy, steady in the sky, a blasphemy against nature. Many people went straight into shock as their minds tried to encompass what they were looking at. The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't."
The Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy - nemitzka, on 10/12/2007, -13/+63Aren't most of these similes?
- Bluth, on 10/12/2007, -11/+61I think I saw this one last night on the To Catch a Predator dateline.
"Alright, this is getting old...like my online girlfriend's 13th birthday." - 1021, on 10/12/2007, -3/+45Site loaded smooth as butter for me.. you guys should get off those dial-up modems.
- h3ndrix, on 10/12/2007, -4/+44Although, they do seem fabricated by non high school students, I laughed.
- 1021, on 10/12/2007, -16/+53like this the best:
6. Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. - everfalling, on 10/12/2007, -3/+39reminds me more of a quote from a Douglas Adams book called The Hitchhikers guide to the Galaxy:
"The great ships hung motionless in the air, over every nation on Earth. Motionless they hung, huge, heavy, steady in the sky, a blasphemy against nature. Many people went straight into shock as their minds tried to encompass what they were looking at. The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't." - Roger, on 10/12/2007, -3/+39Reminded me of Douglas Adams.
- Bluth, on 10/12/2007, -2/+36You have no say - like a truck full of Democratic mimes at a political rally in China.
- perryge, on 10/12/2007, -2/+27The best I've ever heard was told to me by my old high school principal:
'The Egyptians buried their dead in pyramids, which were like giant triangular cubes.' - deim0s, on 10/12/2007, -2/+28I predict that this comment page will contain more terrible attempts to be funny than any other page in the history of Digg.
- mavere, on 10/12/2007, -0/+25Wow, that's a great site.
"It was a dreary Monday in September when Constable Lightspeed came across the rotting corpse that resembled one of those zombies from Michael Jackson's "Thriller," except that it was lying down and not performing the electric slide." - narjun, on 10/12/2007, -4/+28It's from the office actually
::edit:: damn, late by a quarter second. digg me down.... - somnus, on 10/12/2007, -2/+23Ed Helms on "The Office". But yes, he's from the Daily Show.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -1/+21I believe Stewie DID say that during an episode.
- dcmjzero, on 10/12/2007, -6/+25@tekmonkey
similes can be considered a subset of metaphors (i.e. a simile is a metaphor which uses "like" or "as"). both metaphors and similes are analogies.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Analogy - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -1/+19isn't it ironic how most people's definition of irony is actually just coincidence?
- binnis, on 10/12/2007, -6/+23Yeah I think that's a west coast thing. Wheel of fortune usually comes on at 7:30.
- gumby05, on 10/12/2007, -0/+15Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis.
-Jack Handey, Deep Thoughts - gumby05, on 10/12/2007, -8/+23I'm always a step ahead...like a carpenter that builds steps.
- veersite, on 10/12/2007, -1/+16I think most of those came from the link below:
http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/
"Since 1982 the English Department at San Jose State University has sponsored the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest, a whimsical literary competition that challenges entrants to compose the opening sentence to the worst of all possible novels..." - beatmonger, on 10/12/2007, -1/+15wont: adjective [ predic. ] poetic/literary in the habit of doing something; accustomed : he was wont to arise at 5:30 every morning
I had to look it up too. - idonthack, on 10/12/2007, -0/+13No, a metaphor is another subset of analogy. They are often explained as similies that don't use "like" or "as", but rather a form of "to be". For example, "Your mom is a cow" would be a metaphor stating that your mom has cow-like properties, and the equivalant similie would be "Your mom is like a cow."
metaphor
n : a figure of speech in which an expression is used to refer to something that it does not literally denote in order to suggest a similarity
EDIT: dcmjzero beat me to it - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -0/+13Terry Pratchett would have said "The little boat passed over the pond quickly and with a splashing sound, much like one of Cut-Me-Own-Throat Dibblers sausages-inna-bun through a tourist".
- DalekoProvidek, on 10/12/2007, -2/+15If someone already posted it, how could it have been yours? :-)
- mrASSMAN, on 10/12/2007, -1/+11I just checked.. (I keep all the watched episodes in my storage) you're right it's from Office.
The actual quote:
"I'm always thinking one step ahead -- like a.... carpenter.. that makes stairs". - jstack, on 10/12/2007, -4/+1420. The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Phil. But unlike Phil, this plan just might work
Funniest one in my opinion. - blowhole, on 10/12/2007, -1/+10@MatTipton
Because having extra words is double plus ungood? - 574lk3r, on 10/12/2007, -0/+8that was ***** hilarious,
like a blind man falling down a mahole.
ok im not as good,
but im drunk and british whats your excuse?. - mink78, on 10/12/2007, -7/+15This makes me feel used and unwanted, like the two chocolate halves of an Oreo cookie after someone has already licked the cream out of them.
- r3tex, on 10/12/2007, -1/+8Swedish people are really good at doing this in "real-time" and often compete in who can come up with the most far fetched / funny ones. I usually start thinking too hard to come up with good ones. >_
- 574lk3r, on 10/12/2007, -0/+7crap, that was supposed to say manhole.
told you i was drunk. - xyqxyq, on 10/12/2007, -1/+8Or is it just coincidental?
- ub3rgeek, on 10/12/2007, -5/+11No Douglas Adams.
:P
wow i need to refresh more :( - GabeUtsecks, on 10/12/2007, -1/+7number 7 is the best.
7. He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree. - directedition, on 10/12/2007, -3/+9Dial-up, dual-OC3s, same thing.
- Tiak, on 10/12/2007, -0/+5You'll allow it? We're as grateful as an emotionally imbalanced rape victim who has just been given gonorrhea.
- sceebacny, on 10/12/2007, -11/+15"The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn’t."
That sounds like something Terry Pratchett would write. - just1moredigger, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4Yeah! Extra Virgin Olive Oil is sooo much better!!!
- saifatlast, on 10/12/2007, -2/+6This is quite possibly the best thing I've ever seen on digg.
- binnis, on 10/12/2007, -3/+7"Shots rang out, as shots are wont to do."
Can somebody please explain this one? - ryan4477, on 10/12/2007, -0/+4im glad you can read the comments at the bottom of the page.
- OAKsider, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3You are gone.
- T-Maaz, on 10/12/2007, -0/+3I think these are actually some of the past winners and honorable mentions from the annual Bulwer-Lytton ( http://www.bulwer-lytton.com ) and Lyttle-Lytton ( http://adamcadre.ac/lyttle.html ) Contests, aren't they?
These are the annual writing contests are also sometimes referred to as the "It Was A Dark and Stormy Night" contest (in honor of Edward Bulwer-Lytton who penned that original and oh-so-horrible opening verse), in which contestants vie for the worst possible analogy within an opening phrase for a book.
The bowling ball one seems to ring a bell with me... -
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