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The 10 Most Sexually Unappealing Craigslist Postings

cracked.com — The casual encounters section of Craigslist is packed with requests for no-strings-attached nookie. Here are the ten least likely to get responses, and most likely to leave you wondering, 'What the hell is wrong with people?'

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  • GeyserShitdick, on 05/03/2008, -1/+41I love that guy's ass in the white tights. It looks like a lamp or something.
    • jakash, on 05/03/2008, -6/+27DAMN ITS A GUYS ASS!?! I JUST BLEW MY LOAD OVER A MALE REAR!?! DAMN ASSES THESE DAYS... we gotta be careful what we rip our dongs out for nowadays...
    • ajhaji, on 05/03/2008, -2/+16I love lamp. Wait...
      • grason1129, on 05/03/2008, -0/+1Thats not a space station...It's a MooN!!

        ............wait!
    • aaabatteries, on 05/03/2008, -2/+5I see what you did there.
    • thewump, on 05/03/2008, -3/+6If you love his ass you should maybe answer the ad.
  • dunnylovehun, on 05/03/2008, -3/+40One of the funniest Cracked articles in a while. Love the guy who thinks having a hotel room is going to get him laid.
  • GlennLThompson, on 05/03/2008, -1/+69I like the chick who admits to being grotesquely fat with a cavernous vagina. If she feels comfortable admitting that, it must be because 'the catch' is even more horrible to imagine.
    • adventchild08, on 05/03/2008, -0/+8When she said that I couldn't help but think of the scene in city slickers where he loses his watch.
    • TheWorm, on 05/03/2008, -10/+4Video footage has been found: http://youporn.com/watch/155121 (NSFW or stomach!!)
      • lukak, on 05/03/2008, -3/+7Holy crap dude, what's wrong with you?
      • iFrikkenR, on 05/03/2008, -2/+3Beastiality is illegal dude. WTF?!
      • WildTang3nt, on 05/03/2008, -1/+2*barf* I hope he was at least paid well... *throws up some more*
      • TheWorm, on 05/03/2008, -1/+5I deserve to be buried for that.
        • pigducksheep, on 05/03/2008, -0/+2Do you deserve to be dugg for admitting it?
        • fuzzybeard, on 05/04/2008, -0/+1(insert wildly inappropriate joke about necrophilia here.)
      • fuzzybeard, on 05/04/2008, -0/+1What has been seen cannot be unseen. I have *NEVER* been more grateful for only having dialup!
    • BabyWookie, on 05/03/2008, -1/+4The catch is that she's got the Hiv too. Complete package!
    • Divals, on 05/03/2008, -0/+2Grotesquely fat? She's skinnier than any girl I've ever been with.
      Though the cavernous vagina thing is a rather large turnoff. I suppose having four kids will do that to you.
  • AManWithNoName, on 05/03/2008, -0/+29SPOILER: 'The Catch' is that she is, in fact, Cthulu, and before the sex even starts, you will be driven mad by the very sight of her. On the bright side, once you're a gibbering mass of flesh, the fatty sex doesn't seem that bad.
  • rosserfan, on 05/03/2008, -0/+25They should include links to the original posts.
    • MiamiRox, on 05/03/2008, -0/+3Definitely. How else am I going to be able to find the great catch that is #4.
  • SmooveO, on 05/03/2008, -0/+8Men in tight pants need love too.
  • jjive, on 05/03/2008, -17/+6Tomorrows list on cracked.com...
    "The top 10 reasons why dumbass writers have to use lists to organize their thoughts"
    • Alix7, on 05/03/2008, -3/+4That's why writers do it, to organize their thoughts.

      BTW, cracked.com is known for its hilarious writers. Check out all the cracked articles which have been Dugg in the past WEEK. Their material is fresh, witty and almost always funny.
      • jjive, on 05/03/2008, -12/+1BTW, the cracked writers said you can stop sucking their poles now.
        • Alix7, on 05/03/2008, -7/+3BTW, your mother said you can stop sucking your dad's pole now.
          • jjive, on 05/03/2008, -10/+1BTW, your mother swallows, not spits.
          • Alix7, on 05/03/2008, -8/+3BTW, your mother spits, and your sister swallows
          • jjive, on 05/03/2008, -7/+1BTW, your a nasty re-tard, but your mama is a sweet cherry.
          • Alix7, on 05/03/2008, -7/+2BTW, it's spelled "retard", and it's impossible for a mother to have a cherry. Just check your mother's pussy next time you're in bed, you'll see my excellent carving work
          • jjive, on 05/03/2008, -7/+1Don't fret over syntax, you can still suck my pole.
            Alix7, you must really want it, you keep following me around.
          • Alix7, on 05/03/2008, -7/+2Pole? More like twig, I'm guessing you don't get laid much. Well, besides the farm animals
          • jjive, on 05/03/2008, -5/+1That's funny, your mom, sister and grandma didn't complain.
            But, sorry dude I don't do assholes.
            Maybe a "retard" from cracked.com will jerk you off.
          • Zarokima, on 05/03/2008, -0/+5C-C-C-COMBO BREAKER!!!
          • Alix7, on 05/03/2008, -5/+2That's funny, my grandparents are dead. Guess that makes you a necrophiliac. Queer.

            In the meantime, tell your mom and sister that I'll be comin over tomorrow
          • jjive, on 05/03/2008, -3/+1Your grandparents probably died from your rapier wit.
  • Whadabala, on 05/03/2008, -3/+7I post as a woman on craigslist. Teh boys don't write me otherwise.
  • Craig1394, on 05/03/2008, -0/+11Are there any real, honest ads on Craigslist anymore?
    • aukxsona, on 05/03/2008, -0/+26The fat lady at the end seems pretty honest.
  • Ascendancy5, on 05/03/2008, -16/+2Thanks for the pain in the ass 2 pages, really needed.
  • Owwmykneecap, on 05/03/2008, -15/+4You can argue that people shouldn't put face pics onto sites like craigslist...

    But cracked really shouldn't be showing their faces on their site...
    It's really bad form.
    • lukak, on 05/03/2008, -1/+11"let's just say orally talented" guy? is that you?
  • mrsneakypat, on 05/03/2008, -12/+1And this one..... http://philadelphia.craigslist.org/m4m/660066998.h ...
    • Jeffler, on 05/03/2008, -0/+4This posting has been flagged for removal
      (The title on the listings page will be removed in just a few minutes.)

      Methinks you made it up in hopes of being dugg up..
    • adventchild08, on 05/03/2008, -0/+3flagged for removal
  • adidav9, on 05/03/2008, -0/+2TBH, this just makes me feel better about my life...
    • Twenty, on 05/03/2008, -0/+1Doesn't make me feel better about mine. *****, craigslist was my last resort, now I need another safety...
  • rdubya44, on 05/03/2008, -0/+35"i love eating kitty"

    Hahahahhahahahaa
  • birkoph, on 05/03/2008, -23/+1cracked.com = BORING!!

    You FAIL at funny.
    • birkoph, on 05/03/2008, -4/+1digging me down won't make the site any more funny.
  • YodaJones, on 05/03/2008, -12/+3Yawn. That was not worth the ones and zeroes it was printed on.
  • alienunknown, on 05/03/2008, -2/+3Ahhhhh I knew I shouldn't have posted on craigslist!!!!!!!
  • foshizol, on 05/03/2008, -2/+4I wasn't expecting the first picture with the fat hairy stomach and huge hairy thighs, I threw up in my mouth. But it was nice to know that I'm still not completely jaded by some of the stuff on the web.
    • triad203, on 05/03/2008, -0/+1never been to rotten.com, have you?
  • Cheesasaurus, on 05/03/2008, -3/+2Dugg just for the thumbnail.
  • andihedrick, on 05/03/2008, -9/+2dugg for hips getting tighter as she warms up.
  • acroyear2, on 05/03/2008, -0/+3I was really hoping one of my posts ended up on there.
    • TekTrixter, on 05/03/2008, -1/+2Really wishing one of my posts wasn't on there...
  • Drewnami, on 05/03/2008, -0/+5Out of all of them, the last one is most likely to get action. There ARE a surprising amount of people into big girls. You just don't hear about it.
    • psykiv, on 05/03/2008, -0/+2I like chubby chicks. 220 or so is my limit though. Anything more than that is way too much imo.
      • Drewnami, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1I'll have to agree with that unless the woman in question is tall.
    • warringgael, on 05/03/2008, -0/+3If she ain't 280, she ain't a lady
  • Danby123, on 05/03/2008, -8/+3OGC
    • KingGorilla, on 05/03/2008, -1/+3You didn't even try with that one
  • Bamont, on 05/03/2008, -0/+22I'm pretty sure the most pathetic ad I ever saw on CL was the one where the chick was offering sex for an epic flying mount in WoW.
  • ndesantis, on 05/03/2008, -0/+5Why would william hung stoop to this level? I would join him in his exclusive SF hotel room with a mini-bar in a second.
  • Puisapres, on 05/03/2008, -0/+1Um...if he weren't married, I would totally date the Sherlock Holmes guy...

    (The Red-Headed League FTW)
  • DteK, on 05/03/2008, -0/+8Dugg for being on 2 pages and not 10

    I think I work with that guy trying to get laid in the SF hotel!
  • mrmount, on 05/03/2008, -0/+1Jus wondering where it went wrong for me!
  • louser, on 05/03/2008, -1/+2Big girls are like mopeds, fun to ride til your buddies find out!
  • michael43, on 05/03/2008, -1/+2The bad news is these people have a better chance of getting laid then most of the digg users.
  • AndrewDB, on 05/03/2008, -4/+2Doesn't anyone find it remotely suspicious that the same people always digg cracked.com stories?..

    They're ***** auto digging and getting this ***** on the front page. Bury this.
  • warringgael, on 05/03/2008, -0/+2"Men, not necessarily homosexuals, interested in sodomizing a migrant worker." LOLZ sounds like the chorus to a weird al song gone terribly terribly wrong.
  • normlsparky, on 05/03/2008, -0/+1the socially retarded need lovin' too!
  • irieb, on 05/03/2008, -0/+1don't these (http://www.mycraigslist.com/bb/app/results.html?c= ... gentlemen know their indecent proposals are in public domain for all to see - and really what are the chances of these guys actually pulling anything - and if they did, one could only think that there on to something...... regretfully I am not as evolved because I don't get it - is there a side to the opposite sex that is laying dormant, ready to spring into action at the sight of a member of this super species?
  • CDep, on 05/04/2008, -0/+1And I thought all the good men were taken.
  •  

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