What is Digg?312 Comments
- simonowens, on 05/07/2008, -5/+371Florida is making publications like The Onion obsolete.
- GrandmaSheila, on 05/07/2008, -4/+155man's career ruined by fairy-tale delusional charges trumped up by lunatics who believe in "magic". Why are such people in charge of "education"?
- MasterThief117, on 05/07/2008, -3/+137Put on my robe and wizard hat...
- inactive, on 05/07/2008, -6/+139Wizardry is bad, but asking someone telepathically to temporarily override the laws of the universe for you is just fine, even encouraged.
- keinsignal, on 05/07/2008, -2/+134So a guy glues a toothpick to his thumbnail and gets fired because he might be exhibiting *demonic powers*.
I should be making a joke here but I just can't. This is beyond parody.
I will, however, state here and now that I will cast my 2008 presidential vote for any candidate who promises to revoke Florida's statehood. We need to demote these guys to Puerto Rico status until they get their s**t together. - GrandmaSheila, on 05/07/2008, -5/+123welcome to the 12th century...we are the laughing stock of the world
- noisymime, on 05/07/2008, -1/+114He's a mathemagician!
- rkbabang, on 05/07/2008, -22/+102*****' Jesus-nuts. These are the same people that want to nuke Iran.
- Hangly, on 05/07/2008, -1/+80You really think his career is ruined? C'mon. According to the Florida state government he's a ***** WIZARD.
This is the greatest opportunity a guy could have. He should demand the charge in writing, frame it, and use those credentials to start a college of wizardry.
It's been a long time since America was a strong contender in Quiddich. - redokami, on 05/07/2008, -2/+75damn muggles
- Hangly, on 05/07/2008, -2/+71I think "fired for wizardry" would look pretty good on my resume.
- thecatcantalk, on 05/07/2008, -12/+74Further proof that the U.S. is not at all like those backward, ignorant Moslem countries. *explodes with laughter* The difference, of course, is that the President of Iran speaks better English than the President of the United States.
And Bush's brother is the Governor of Florida, what a ***** surprise. Florida, Florida, Florida, that's all you have to say.... - MikiMac, on 05/07/2008, -3/+53Why do you think he is a wizard?
he turned me into a newt.
A newt?
I got better.
Burn him anyway.
Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether he is a wizard!
There are? Tell up. What are they, wise Sir Supervisor?
Tell me ... what do you do with wizards?
Burn them.
And what do you burn, apart from wizards?
Wood?
So why do wizards burn?
Because they're made of wood...?
Good.
So how can we tell if he is made of wood?
Make a bridge out of him.
Ah ... but can you not also make bridges out of stone?
Does wood sink in water?
No, no, It floats. Throw him in the pond Tie weights on him. To the pond!
Wait. Wait ... tell me, what also floats on water?
Bread? No, no, no. Apples .... gravy ... very small rocks ...
A duck.
Exactly. So... logically ...
If he weighs the same as a duck, he's made of wood.
And therefore?
A wizard! - Arawn, on 05/07/2008, -10/+59This is completely moronic.
There was a time I dreamed of going to the U.S. to live and work. Not anymore. - Miff, on 05/07/2008, -3/+49I really want to see that trick now.
- dreamtiger, on 05/07/2008, -13/+53I have a good friend who was raised in the South. She assures me that epic stupidity of the kind described in the article is everywhere there. Being from civilization, I simply can't imagine a school board that believes in wizardry. It boggles the mind.
- mattlohkamp, on 05/07/2008, -2/+38come on - "thou shalt not suffer a witch to live" - I think he's getting off pretty easy.
- brufleth, on 05/07/2008, -1/+37There's a reason Fark has a "Florida" tag.
- zephyear, on 05/07/2008, -2/+37can we kick florida out of the union yet
just saw it off, kick it out into the ocean - Kyrgizion, on 05/07/2008, -0/+29If that guy got fired for a toothpick, imagine what they'd do to you for a rabbit.
- duke1981, on 05/07/2008, -1/+28I thought there was only Magic allowed in Orlando....
- fxu1989, on 05/07/2008, -7/+34I'm sure they are the same people who want to preach the bible at public schools.
- dreamtiger, on 05/07/2008, -3/+30Wanna see me pull a rabbit out of a hat?
- hellotyler, on 05/07/2008, -2/+26No kidding, Florida is *****!
- Canadian0207, on 05/07/2008, -2/+26actually, for 7 years in a row, Florida was ranked #1 as having the weirdest news in the US.
This proves it. - fxu1989, on 05/07/2008, -1/+24The trick:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=9fdXN_99EkI
I am embarrassed and proud of living in Florida.
Embarrassed because of stories like these.
Proud because we got the lead in banging our teachers. - LokitheComplex, on 05/07/2008, -1/+24I wish one of these stories would end with those that made the decisions losing their jobs for a change.
- Hangly, on 05/07/2008, -1/+21This is why Fark has a "Florida" tag.
At least the teacher wasn't shrinking penises. - Shuukyoku, on 05/07/2008, -14/+33It would boggle my mind, except that the Bible has wizardry in it. Thus, they believe. Similar case with witches. Of course, the Bible also has a world wide flood, a giant tower that creates all language, a talking snake, and ***** unicorns in it. Ask the next Christian you meet if they believe in unicorns.
- monoxism, on 05/07/2008, -2/+20Send him to Hogwarts.
- loquax, on 05/07/2008, -8/+26Wait one moment ma'am, I am from the South, and while we do have our fair share of nuts down here, I have lived in Iowa, Minnesota, South Dakota, etc. I've traveled to about every state in the "lower 48." I hear of crap like this everywhere. I personally know of a small town in Minnesota where one of the school board members advocated getting rid of every book but the Bible and the dictionary from the library. Kansas, of recent notable creationist activity on their school board, is in the Mid-West.
As far as the other end of the spectrum, may I remind you that it was L.A. that suggested that hard drive manufacturers stop calling disks "master and slave" because it hurt the feelings of some of their constituency. How about the recent nut cases in Austria (with the cellar Nazi dad) or Germany (with the woman with three dead babies in the freezer) or any of a number of crazy-ass things that happen in supposedly "enlightened" Europe (where I have also lived).
Stop with the bashing of the South, we are not perfect down here, and we have a lot of people who have been bound into poverty and ignorance largely due to colonialistic practices from Northern industrial companies (such as U.S. Steel and Exxon Mobile) who found it easier to not pay proper taxes on resources they extracted from the South and to keep the labor force divided along racial lines to prevent them from organizing.
Finally, the Land O' Lakes area isn't particularly Southern. Most of the people from the Tampa area down to the Keys are from either up North or some other place other than the south. If this had happened in the Panhandle area, you may have had a point.
Epic stupidity is not limited or exclusive to the South. It often gets capitalized upon when it does happen here to re-enforce the supercilious feelings of people like you; but if you look hard enough in your own backyard, I am willing to bet that you will find the same breed of nut lurking around your little garden as well. - SilverBadger, on 05/07/2008, -1/+18We must go about this properly ... since we burn witches, he must be made of wood. Since wood floats, he must weigh the same as a duck. Bring out the large weigh-scales and one duck please!
- allengeer, on 05/07/2008, -0/+17I can see the conversation... "Mr. Miller... youve been accused of wizardry.... this is very serious.. what do you have to say for yourself?" "Are you ***** kidding me?" "We take wizardry very serious here at hogwarts." "Are you ***** kidding me?"
- tomis, on 05/07/2008, -7/+23America is *****.
- rivalius13, on 05/07/2008, -2/+18Hate to be debbie downer on this one, but: http://www.upi.com/NewsTrack/Quirks/2008/05/06/sub ...
That's no where NEAR as exciting as him getting fired for wizardry. - suldar, on 05/07/2008, -1/+17I keep looking for an Onion logo but I don't see one?
- inactive, on 05/07/2008, -1/+16Way to ruin the joke *****.
- boobsbr, on 05/07/2008, -0/+14theses guys were geniuses...
- TheThirdLevel, on 05/07/2008, -0/+14He turned me into a newt!
....I got better. - dagnome1984, on 05/07/2008, -0/+14"And Bush's brother is the Governor of Florida"
I think you mean Charlie Christ. Jeb Bush is the former governor. - webcrumb, on 05/07/2008, -0/+14Shrubbery.
- TheThirdLevel, on 05/07/2008, -0/+13+1
Bring out the Firebolts. - cutething, on 05/07/2008, -0/+13That's an awesome, awesome point. I absolutely would awkwardly raise that topic in conversation:
"You seem very qualified for this position."
"Yeah, I no longer work in the Pasco County school district."
"Um, okay.."
"They couldn't handle my powers."
"Your powers."
"My incredible wizardry! Oh ho! What's THIS?!"
"A ... it's a quarter."
"It MAGICALLY came out of your ear! Wooaaah!" - Ford_Prefect2nd, on 05/07/2008, -1/+14Exodus 22:18, one of my favorites, the Bible telling people to kill people of other faiths. And they say Islam preaches violence.
- brufleth, on 05/07/2008, -6/+18Try suggesting something like this at a school board meeting in Cambridge, Springfield, or Barnstable in Massachusetts. You will get laughed out of town. I can understand your dismay at the north/south division but there's a big different between the mid west or the south and areas like the northeast. I know, I've lived both places.
In addition there is a HUGE difference between a nut job who commits horrible crimes on his basement children and a school board (or I should at least hope there is). There's also a big difference between someone taking the politically correct thing too far (in your example of master/slave hard drives) and accusations of wizardry leading to loss of employment.
In short you're comparing apples to horse shoes. - flyingcatcircus, on 05/07/2008, -1/+13You sir, are a GENIUS! Or, should I say, "A Wizard!?"
- skydharma, on 05/07/2008, -2/+13But him getting fired for wizardry dovetails so nicely with my preconceived notions about America!
- LeRenard, on 05/07/2008, -1/+12I lived in Pasco for a time and can confirm it is in fact as much of a backwards hell hole as it would seem. This isn't the first time they've done this sort of thing, I seem to remember they ruined someones career for refusing to teach creationism. I don't even find this surprising.
- JosephShell, on 05/07/2008, -3/+14I find it so worrying that there are such stupid people out there.
Let alone in managerial positions within state systems.
What next, Witch Trials again? - roosterjm2k2, on 05/07/2008, -1/+12WWWwwwwwiiiiizzzzzzzzzzzzaaaaaaaaarrrrrdddddd!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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