I think I have to reface every one of my 5's as Emo Lincoln. And if a cashier refuses to take it, I'll tell her about how Mr. Lincoln will cut himself.
Good thing the government doesn't monitor the internet without warrants, or else someone might show up at your door and arrest you for defacing property of the Treasury.
Oh, wait.
United States Code
TITLE 18 - CRIMES AND CRIMINAL PROCEDURE
PART I - CRIMES
CHAPTER 17 - COINS AND CURRENCY
§ 333. Mutilation of national bank obligations
“Whoever mutilates, cuts, defaces, disfigures, or perforates, or unites or cements together, or does any other thing to any bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt issued by any national banking association, or Federal Reserve bank, or the Federal Reserve System, with intent to render such bank bill, draft, note, or other evidence of debt unfit to be reissued, shall be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than six months, or both.”