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Man Likes Woman So Much He Marries Her

theonion.com — Henry Leighty, a 32-year-old Arizona native and insurance claims adjuster, reportedly had such a huge crush on his girlfriend, Stacy Tompkins, 29, that he just had to marry her in a small ceremony Sunday which he totally dreams about every night when he goes to bed.

Who dugg this? Made popular Jun 10, 2008

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252 Comments

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  • alapoet, on 06/09/2008, -24/+299I love the Onion! :-)

    "In analyzing relationships similar to the newly wedded couple's, experts predict that, within four to six months, Leighty and Tompkins are most likely going to do it, probably resulting in a baby in a baby carriage."

    LOL
  • Hodgie, on 06/09/2008, -53/+216The onion makes me cry...... geddit?
  • MojoJonJon, on 06/10/2008, -14/+169lol how gay
  • inactive, on 06/10/2008, -13/+107Buried as inaccurate. It is a widely known fact that you have to hate each other to get married.
  • speel, on 06/10/2008, -15/+107Wait till she cheats on him.
  • mGARANDEUR1, on 06/10/2008, -2/+91Ahhh. I really don't miss 5th grade.
  • UntoTheBreach, on 06/10/2008, -2/+76No no, the hate comes after. First you have to know nothing about eachother or yourselves.

    4 out of 5 dentists agree - marriage is the leading cause of divorce.
  • webcrumb, on 06/10/2008, -7/+75: : : : : : : : : | : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : : ’’’~~~~~~’’¯: : : : : : :
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  • HSlipwiffle, on 06/09/2008, -12/+80Shocking! The onion is awesome.
  • DickyT83, on 06/10/2008, -11/+71. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . _________
    . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ./ It’s a trap!
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  • DickyT83, on 06/10/2008, -6/+60Someone cue Admiral Ackbar.
  • Sornos, on 06/10/2008, -5/+51Ahhhhh....That's good satire.
  • inactive, on 06/10/2008, -14/+57Yeah.... where is the story where 5 years later she takes half his ***** and his kids.
  • Viend, on 06/10/2008, -9/+50...I nearly laughed.

    Then I figured out how stupid it would be to laugh and decided not to.
  • MuskokasFinest, on 06/10/2008, -7/+43How gay.
  • Shoebox639, on 06/10/2008, -6/+40It's a TRAP!
  • sdcarter, on 06/10/2008, -1/+35Won't take long either. She's a hottie.
  • Zephik, on 06/10/2008, -4/+35!part a s'tI
  • NJank, on 06/10/2008, -4/+33It`s a Trap!
  • Vladamir, on 06/10/2008, -6/+34¡dɐɹʇ ɐ s,ʇı
  • boojoy, on 06/10/2008, -0/+27whoooooooooshhhh
  • 4rp4n3t, on 06/10/2008, -2/+29As in: “I'm not going to get married again. I'm just going to find a woman I hate and buy her a house.”
  • dondara, on 06/10/2008, -3/+30Tasteless? Quick, somebody call this guy a Waaaaambulance.

    Grow up, nothing is above ridicule. Nothing.
  • marcusbrutus, on 06/10/2008, -4/+30It's a trap!
  • peaceninja, on 06/10/2008, -4/+29It's a tRap!
  • philodygmn, on 06/10/2008, -22/+46File with one of my favorite Man on the Street features ever, about a gay bishop: "Isn't caring about all that God stuff kind of gay anyway?"

    http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38051
    The more macho and brittle your morals, the more vulnerable and weak you really are.

    "The more you tighten your grip, Tarkin, the more star systems will slip through your fingers." -- Princess Leah, "Star Wars Episode IV: A New Hope"
  • ariGme, on 06/10/2008, -1/+25I need to wake up before reading digg...originally read that as "maimes"
    same difference though right?
  • rickyg67, on 06/10/2008, -5/+28Buried for incorrect spelling while trying to pull of Star Wars reference. Its Leia, Leah. Nitpicky I know, sorry.
  • mightycbu, on 06/10/2008, -8/+29man, this is so gay!
    i think marriage should be exclusive for people of the same sex :P
  • Dubbsacc, on 06/10/2008, -3/+23.ereht did uoy tahw ees I
  • Zephik, on 06/10/2008, -4/+24ıʇ,s ɐ ʇɹɐd¡
  • lumbergh, on 06/10/2008, -1/+20Actually, if you blow the dust off your Strunk and White, you'd see that the end-quote character is SUPPOSED to be all-consuming of any punctuation that would normally follow it. Armchair nosepicker.
  • Zipko, on 06/10/2008, -3/+21How would you see them on Digg if you're on The Onion's site?
  • filth, on 06/10/2008, -2/+19Did you mean to say "...to pull *off* Star Wars reference?" If you're going to be a douche-nozzle at least get your own spelling right.
  • webcrumb, on 06/10/2008, -2/+18I didn't get the joke until you pointed out it was a joke. Then I had to work out what the joke was. Thanks for making me feel stupid.
  • duccodude, on 06/10/2008, -3/+18no, dumbass.
  • DickyT83, on 06/10/2008, -1/+16You win.
  • reddevild, on 06/10/2008, -0/+15He won The Game!

    I didn't think that was possible
  • Maj.Disastor, on 06/10/2008, -1/+15Its a tarp.
  • Zaggynl, on 06/10/2008, -17/+31I didn't get it..
  • mystdragon333, on 06/10/2008, -3/+16i c wat u did thar
  • LittleDas, on 06/10/2008, -3/+15What the *****?
    when did we become 4chan?
  • Aidje, on 06/10/2008, -0/+10There's a greasemonkey script that will do that for you.
  • Noobcamper, on 06/10/2008, -0/+10Its a joke...
  • Zephik, on 06/10/2008, -0/+10Upside down AND reversed. HA! Beat that! :D
  • TheInfamousOne, on 06/10/2008, -1/+11RTFA
  • SteelFrog, on 06/10/2008, -1/+10██'█ █ ████!
  • neurobox, on 06/10/2008, -0/+9You won't hear about it in The Onion, it'd be too normal. They wouldn't ever cover something so mundane. They stick to scandalous stuff (like the large ball of light moving slowly from East to West across the sky over a 12 hour period).
  • identifiedlogo, on 06/10/2008, -2/+11What a relief. I read the caption and then the entire article and then I realized it was Onion. I was about to loose my mind.
  • bijou0304, on 06/10/2008, -0/+9You clearly do not understand or appreciate satire
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