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216 Comments
- SuperCUBE, on 10/11/2007, -8/+199Woman always get the good-end of the deal. They get all the kids and all the property. It sucks.
And then the men still have to pay child-support. *****. - JEWestbrookJR, on 10/11/2007, -4/+136I am the American dream. I am a divorced man WITH CUSTODY! nothing was sweeter than fighting my ex-wife for child support and winning. She didn't want custody... just thought it was ridiculous that she should have to help pay for our daughter. My guy friends that have to pay child support say I'm a god amongst men haha
- antineocon, on 10/11/2007, -11/+132Yeah men get the shaft
- pintomp3, on 10/11/2007, -19/+129wow, what was he waiving?
- Arkavus, on 10/11/2007, -5/+101I can't believe the mom did such a horrible thing to her children. It's sad that it happens to other people too. Divorce is a sad fact of life but if there are children involved they always need to be put ahead of any problems a couple has. Children need BOTH of their parents not just their mother.
- f4nt0m4s, on 10/11/2007, -2/+82what a guy and what a dad...he's publicizing this case, writing a book, and maintaining a strong relationship with his kids. someone give this guy a ***** medal.
- SilkSteel, on 10/11/2007, -7/+79Bitches like his ex-wife are enough to make a man feel jaded over the opposite sex forever.
- monkeyrun, on 10/11/2007, -3/+67I understand why the word "bitch" exists.
- DooklesTheBear, on 10/11/2007, -6/+64Sorry to post this at the top but I want people to hear my story as well. I'm in a terrible situation too and it's not even my kid, instead it’s my little sister. My mom went through a huge divorce with my stepfather who was an abusive alcoholic to her. On top of that he was a sick pervert when it came to my little sister and a horrible monster. My mother found out about what he was doing and had him arrested with a restraining order. After a few months she felt terrible that my sister couldn't see her father (even he was messed up) and let him see her once at a restaurant. He then set her up and got proof that she broke the restraining order and got my sister taken away.
He hired a high-priced lawyer that proved my mom was lying about everything, because why else would she let a sick twisted monster see his daughter if he was so awful? The courts eventually sided with him and with the help of his attorney made my mother look like a demented woman who needs therapy. Now he has my sister in full custody, still abuses her, and my mom has to see a psychologist when she is 100% normal. Now here comes the kicker.
My brother and I are both over 20 and have full legal rights to see my sister whenever we need. The only condition is that we have to make scheduled appointments before hand and my sister has to agree with it. So every time we go to see her, beforehand he tells her to say stuff like: "I hate you", "I don't want to ever see you" and "I never loved you" to the court and to us. Therefore, we can never see her and the judge only says "it's up to your sister and if she doesn't want to see you, then we're not going to force her." We haven't been with her fully for four years and I only see her once a month for about 15 seconds before she screams at us to leave. I raised her while he was at work since she was born and she is closest to me and even after she screams I say that I love her and she says I love you back.
Is our legal system totally screwed up or what? Are they blind to see that an 11-year-old girl should not have any hate towards her brothers like she does who have only taken care of her and loved her more than anything? Now he has finally won with full custody since last month and I will never see my sister again until she's probably 18. By that time, she will already be so ***** up and in 7 years it will be so long that she won't even see us as family anymore. I deal with this pain every day of my life. I wish I could take this public because there is so much more that I know would make headlines. - spdorsey, on 10/11/2007, -1/+52This is often more the case than the exception.
I fought to have my daughter for half the time after my divorce, only to have a judge throw the book at me and deny me visitation more than 4 days/month with a $3000/month payment to the mother. I was a good guy, too. No adultery, financially stable, no drugs/alcohol, and a good Dad.
I am currently seeking legal help because my ex-wife has taken my daughter (3 years old now) to Germany and has no plans to return. The courts don't care and have no interest in seeing the real problem in these cases. What is it that makes a Dad so evil by default? - seenthefuture, on 10/11/2007, -15/+62She's cute...I would wave at her too.
- Hindu_Wardrobe, on 10/11/2007, -1/+42I'm female. And I agree with you guys that there is a definite bias towards women when it comes to child custody and divorce. These women want equal rights? They're gonna have to evenly split things. And that means, the father needs to be able to see the kids. They're his kids, too.
Of course, if one of them has a legitimate reason that the other shouldn't be able to see the kids (molestation or something), then that's different. We really need to do away with these ***** gender biases. - ericatdigg, on 10/11/2007, -2/+39Yea, I've been on the short end of Family Court.....my wife had an affair while I was in Iraq. I came home and found myself abruptly homeless. After uncovering intimate emails that predated me coming home for six months between my wife Angela and her lover Bryan, I was floored. She works at a church...full time staff...www.midwaybc.net. So I went to the church (which we both had attended for years) to talk to the minister. She took me to family court saying she was scared of me......scared that I was going to show someone those emails more than likely. The minister of the church refused to talk to me about the matter saying because she was on staff it was a personnel issue. Can you believe that. Anyway, she did get a domestic violence order against me....based on nothing but her preference not to want to have to see me anymore. Kind of harsh.
The system is broken. - plantfood, on 10/11/2007, -0/+32you sir ARE a god amongst men
- mtwoar, on 10/11/2007, -0/+29Congratulations, you are definitely among the few. Even the few men I know that have succeeded in winning custody over their children do not receive any type of child support. It seemed like a trade off for many of them. They gave the house, etc to the wife in return for the children. It's a sad day when children are traded and bargained for the same as a material possession.
- noreturn, on 10/11/2007, -0/+27Jesus, dude. Don't give up.
- Urusai, on 10/11/2007, -1/+26Never invite the law into your private affairs.
- GMorgan, on 10/11/2007, -0/+22The British system is particularly ***** up. The last 7/8 years all the headlines in Britain have been about fathers screwed over by the system. From fathers left on the breadline by the CSA while the ex's new partner is wealthy to mothers who flout court orders mandating shared custody. There is also a serious issue where you are guilty until proven innocent in these cases, the CSA has chased down 'fathers' without warning and without requiring any proof they are the father.
In the face of this corrupt system the politicians are trying to make it more unbalanced in favour of the women.
I personally know a bloke who has 2 daughters with the third being from his wives affair that split them up. He is made to pay for the third because if he complains his ex will refuse custody in spite of court rulings. - DryMaltExtract, on 10/11/2007, -2/+23The only way the guy can win is if the wife doesn't want them, even if she's a crack whore.
There was a story I heard once, a guy's ex-girlfriend died in a car accident. They had a child together. Child welfare etc. etc. went to his house, knew for a FACT he was a damn good father and had a job, lived in a good house etc. They all spoke up for him in court saying he would be an exemplary father but no, the FEMALE(just saying >_>) judge decided that due to the mother's parent's "terrible loss" that they should have full custody of the child. He does not get to see his daughter because the parents do not like him. JUSTICE.
He does not pay child support. He places all the money that would go for that into a trust fund they will get when they are 18.
Judges who decide stupid ***** like this, going against what institutions created to help them make a decision no less, should be hung. - klethron, on 10/11/2007, -2/+23I divorced 3 1/2 years ago and have been to court umpteen times and yet I am still not allowed to spend time with my children who are now 9 and 6. It is absolutely amazing how bad men can get shafted by women who are vindictive. "Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned".
- spdorsey, on 10/11/2007, -0/+21Very constructive. You are one sorry loser.
The system is set up in a way that gives the rights to the Mother by default. Laws have been passed in the last decade that make this rights-by-default system illegal, but it will not really die until the old-school Judges leave the system. In reality, there are a lot of fathers out there who really care and who really want to be there for their kids, but they cannot be a part of their kids' lives because Judges cannot give the cases proper time, or just don't care at all.
P.S. - I had a Lawyer. It didn't help. - FlamingWombat, on 10/11/2007, -1/+18Yeah... the problem with a whole lot of divorce proceedings is that the mother seems to get sympathy and thus the upper hand, regardless of the situation. In my particular case, I don't get how they can justify my mother getting the house and the car, as well as most of the rest of the stuff, but my dad still having to pay child support...
The entire child support collection system is terrible, too, but that's a whole other story - direlemming, on 10/11/2007, -4/+21and they wonder why the murder rate is so high makes you think that if you just devoice maybe this will happen to you why not just get rid of the bitch and save the torment
- spdorsey, on 10/11/2007, -1/+18How dare anyone digg this story down. This is a common story, unfortunately. My wife was also employed by her church when our custody battle was going on. Her church was in a nice part of town, and her friends from church helped dismantle my life with their legal council and neighborhood campaigns. The invented horror stories about me and even opened up a sexual abuse case against me (charges were dropped immediately by the police).
It's one thing to have power and to use it wisely. It's another thing all-together to have that power and to use it against another person. This goes for ex-wives as well as judges. These decisions affect peoples' lives - the kids too! Think before you act!!! - realyst, on 10/11/2007, -0/+16Lifetime, the We network, Fox, CNN, most prime time drama, Jennifer Lopez movies
Which, unfortunately, is where many people get their education. - plantfood, on 10/11/2007, -6/+21stories like these make me a sad panda
- Soulhuntre, on 10/11/2007, -1/+15I am surprised she didn't manage to "recover memories" of him molesting the kids. Thats the common weapon in such cases.
- Aadain, on 10/11/2007, -0/+13If you read what the kids said their mother told them about their father, that should be grounds alone for all parental privileges to be revoked from her. Fathers have had their rights revoked for far less harmful behavior, yet mothers can lie, emotionally scar, and basically use their children as objects (similar to the house and cars) to "get back" at a person they don't like anymore. We need a law in place* to level the playing field. If you use your children to get back at your ex-spouse in anyway, you forfeit all your rights. Kids are human beings and need both parents in their lives, no matter what some ultra-feminist women like to tell you. Fathers are incredibly important in helping little boys and girls shape their view of the world.
Sorry if I sound bitter, I'm not a father but I hope to be some day. Stories like these tick me off to no end.
*I know this took place in England, but the US needs a law like that as well. Telling your kids "dad is a wicked man" just because you don't like him anymore is tantamount to slander and child (emotional) abuse. - corser, on 10/11/2007, -1/+14Married a woman who turned out to be a vindictive bitch.
- npk9, on 10/11/2007, -0/+13@swooshonln
Thats a nice belief that mothers are trying to raise there kids 40hrs a week, but unfortunately there are as many women as there are men that simply don't give a ***** about there kids and just use them for some $$$ - STARTSOMETHING, on 10/11/2007, -0/+12this is the proof parents are f-ing up their kids just because their own benefit is better than their child's
- dgendreau, on 10/11/2007, -0/+12Same here. She cheated on me. I made her GTFO and I kept custody of our 4 year old son. She owes me child support, but not much. I wont collect, but I will keep track of how much in case she tries to get money out of me in the future. She only takes our son 1-2 days every 2 weeks and doesnt even call to talk to him. In the end I know we are better off without her. I met a woman who is much nicer and is totally hot for my body (turned on by pale skinny brainy types... who would have thunk it?), and we are raising my son and her daughter together. No more drama for me thanks. I'm just glad things ended up as well as they have for me. It could have been MUCH worse.
- DooklesTheBear, on 10/11/2007, -0/+12Thank you for the support. I will never stop fighting for her, even though I believe it's too late. So much damage has already been done to her and no one knows it will ever be fixed.
- SocialPoison, on 10/11/2007, -0/+12*slowclap*
Nicely done sir... nicely done. - DooklesTheBear, on 10/11/2007, -0/+12Also, sorry about the formatting. I had it spaced into paragraphs but for some reason Digg messed it up and put it all together.
- cheapogoovo, on 10/11/2007, -1/+12Just say "no" to CPS
- weeeezzll, on 10/11/2007, -0/+10Yea, that guy is damaged goods now. He will never be able to trust a women in a relationship again. I really don't think I would have been able to handle situation like that.
That was a seriously touching story...at the risk of looking like a total pussy I'm going to admit I cried when I got to the "reuinion" part of the story. I can't (don't want to) even begin to imagine what it would be like to have my daughters taken from me like that. And then to be told that I couldn't even wave at them?
That woman need to be charged with some sort of child welfare endangerment crime and thrown in jail! - CedEx, on 10/11/2007, -0/+10Well, with they way the law has been treating him, he might as well been doing that.
- GiggleStick, on 10/11/2007, -1/+11That's why this is so grievous. Apparently he didn't do anything. It was enough for the ex-wife to simply say that it was upsetting to the children to see him, which she most likely did just to spite him.
- stopple, on 10/11/2007, -1/+11WHEN her father went to prison, no one explained to Lisa why. 'Mum said: "You see - I told you he was bad." I was ten years old. As far as I knew, you had to do something pretty awful to go to prison.'
BURN THIS WOMAN AT THE STAKE ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGH - taylooooor, on 10/11/2007, -2/+11As tragic as this sounds, I've seen it from the other side. My younger brother's father was mentally and physically abusive. After my mother divorced him he would do things like stand outside to wave at my brother, or run in to them all around town any time they went out. It was all aimed at terrorizing my mom. After my 3 year old brother asked my mom why she's a "whore," we put a tape recorder in my brother's diaper bag and heard this guy saying things like "your mommy's a slut, yes she is, isn't she" in baby talk... it was completely ridiculous. He violated the restraining order constantly and the police would do nothing because he would always put it on my mother, and play the wounded father, saying things like, "I just want to see my boy, officer." I'm not saying the same thing was happening in this case, but 'standing outside to wave at his daughters' isn't necessarily an innocent action.
- funkyjunk3, on 10/11/2007, -0/+9Amen!
- Jerim, on 10/11/2007, -1/+10To be fair, the courts were going based on what the girls told them; that they didn't want to see their father. If you read the last half of the story, the daughter Lisa explains how she said she didn't want to see her father because she thought it would make her mother happy. In fact, all it took after 5 years of separation, was for Lisa to tell the courts that she did want to see her father. The courts immediately granted him his visitation rights. The courts do some crappy things sometimes, but you can't blame them for respecting what they were told were the girls' wishes at that time. If the girls say they don't want to see their father, then the courts have an obligation to respect that. And if this guy is waving to girls that said they didn't want to see him, then the court has every reason to believe that is harassment. The blame belongs on the mother who manipulated her children and the courts.
- bardamuclichy, on 10/11/2007, -0/+9Dugg up. I know a family in which this occured. The grandma came up with all kinds of wild stories about how the parents were invovled in a devil worshipping child raping cult. Seriously. She got custody. Two of the four kids are pretty normal now, but the other two along WITH the grandma later 'developed' MPD, which if you know anything about psychiatry, is a crock of *****. Prior to that, the grandma's explanation for everything was 'demons' possesing them all. This all occured with CPS's help.
The situation is somewhat better now... but man... abuse was going all around in that family. - withincontext, on 10/11/2007, -0/+8I work with a single dad that won custody of his now 13 yr old daughter. It *can* happen, but it rarely does. I would have been much better off with my father.
Congrats. - spdorsey, on 10/11/2007, -0/+8I hate to say it, but you are probably right.
- JEWestbrookJR, on 10/11/2007, -0/+8congrats to you sir. I too, have a new woman in my life. Not that yours isn't, but my current wife is EXTREMELY awesome because she was willing to accept me and my daughter when I was 21, my daughter was 2, and she was 19 and she didn't have any kids. She pretty much gave up careless early 20's to settle down with a family.
- LegendX, on 10/11/2007, -2/+10Great story. The whole court system is messed up in my opinion. Look at me for instance. I was close to a sexual assault sentence because I have my girlfriend a hickey. Apparently her mom was forcing her to be with me without me knowing. So the best way for her to get out of it was to point the "witch's finger" and say I touched her all over. Being 19 and her 16 it was terrible. I fought for 2 years on the case and to this year that finally allowed me to go under a simple battery sentence. For those 2 years they kept believing the girl. For 2 years I was without work because I was always in the newspaper.... and I was a hair close to losing my college carreer and be under as a Sex offender for 30 years.
I may not be a father but I can feel this guys pain. The justice system needs to be fixed. There needs to be 2 sides of every story in the court room.
Why are us men looked so bad upon. They should not take the woman side just because she is a woman. Why take someone's life away because someone's selfish reasons. Sometimes I am not proud to be an American.... - spdorsey, on 10/11/2007, -0/+8Irrelevant. The judges act the same way here in the good ol' USA.
- GhostToon, on 10/11/2007, -1/+9I thank god (allah, science which ever one you want to choose) that my parents didn't fight over me and my sister when they got divorced. I don't know what I would have done if I couldn't see my dad on a regular basis. The courts only gave him weekends but my mom never objected to him seeing us when ever so if we wanted to see him or if he wanted to take us to a ball game or something then we did.
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