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646 Comments
- euphemizeme, on 11/07/2007, -51/+2483I once almost went on a date with a girl.
- maximusGeek, on 10/24/2007, -30/+890I once dated a girl that tried to get her self pregnant with my used condom! Needless to say, I'm not dating her anymore.
- rm999, on 10/12/2007, -22/+649xsuite
You realize why he was a dick, right? She cheated on him, and then tried to trick him into thinking some other guy's baby is his. If that isn't a one-way ticket to hell I don't know what is. Yeah, he pulled her chains for a while, but do you realize how painful it is to know your girlfriend is cheating on you? - revenge7, on 10/12/2007, -11/+533Mirror: http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/274495936.html
- Alfdog, on 10/12/2007, -18/+529Billy Jean is not my lover
She's just a girl who claims that I am the one...
But the kid is not my son. - Crass22, on 10/12/2007, -19/+413Chivalry is Dead, and Women killed it.
- xsuite, on 10/12/2007, -33/+426But the chick deserved it for trying to get married like that, what a bitch.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -56/+386What's a girl?
- Tr33fiddy, on 10/12/2007, -12/+309Anchorman:
1. SHE was using HIM as an object to raise her (and another man's) child.
2. I'd hardly say him using her for sex is as bad as what she had in mind - his life. SHE clearly had no respect for HIM.
3. No, he didn't have to humiliate her. Indeed he DIDN'T humiliate her. She did. - sockpuppets, on 10/12/2007, -21/+313As great as this story is the guy stole it from craigslist to get blogspam traffic. It should be buried as such.
- brasso, on 10/12/2007, -25/+297I’ll try to sum up a funny story that happened a few years ago: I got a vasectomy. I met a girl soon afterwards. She was nice and attractive but with a selfish streak that raised a big red flag. She was 32 at the time and I could practically HEAR her biological clock ticking. Regardless, she was a good lay, easy on the eyes, and reasonably good company.
I did NOT tell her about my vasectomy and I always used a condom with her to protect against STDs. She assumed, obviously, that the condom was only used for birth control. Silly girl.
We date for a few months. I never made any move towards commitment but she brought it up ocassionally. For me, this was a casual but pleasant relationship. For her - as I was to find out - it was part of life-changing series of events that she was planning very carefully.
Four months into dating, I get the “I’m pregnant” talk. She’s going on and on about how the condom must have broke and now we really need to think about getting married “for the baby”. She’s positively giddy. She has a baby in her and she thinks she’s gonna have a good meal ticket (me) to go along with her new 7lb annuity.
At this point, I’m just as giddy. I get to pull the reverse “oops” on her. I figured that she slept with some bad boy and got knocked up. Good thing I was using condoms! Better still that I have a serious mistrust of women who can’t think beyond their own uteri.
So I wait a couple of days to “think about all this.” I meet her again. I say I don’t want kids and that she should have an abortion. I know where this is going and sure enough it goes there. She goes completely batsh*t insane on me. There were the usual insults about my manhood. There were threats of legal action. It was all very ugly and I was loving every minute of it.
Well, I let her stew for a few days. She leaves me nasty messages on my phone. She sends awful emails. I’m laughing hysterically.
It was time to drop the hammer. While she was stewing I was busy. First I get a notarized copy from the urologist who performed the vasectomy. Next I get a notarized copy of the TWO test results indicating a “negative test result for sperm” to show I’m sterile and shooting blanks. Finally, I get a letter from a shark attorney stating he has seen the other documents and is prepared to litigate against this woman if she continues to communicate with me in such an unpleasant manner. Also, the letter states that we will insist on DNA testing to show that the baby is not mine. I’m ready.
I meet with this woman at her place. I bring flowers and a small bit of jewelry to show I am willing to reconcile and assume my responsibilities as a new father. I also have stuck in my pocket the documents I have prepared.
She’s all giddy again. Her plan is going perfectly - or so she thinks. We talk about our future. We have some pretty good sex. Then, as I am about to walk out the door, I ask her the $64,000 question. “Are you sure that this baby is mine?”
Well, she goes batsh*t insane again. Hell, she ought to. Her plan could completely unravel if there is ANY question about my paternity. Oh, she’s really screaming now. How dare I question her morals. Do I think she’s a slut. I’m just trying to weasel out of my responsibilities… blah, blah, blah, yadda, yadda, yadda.
I’m not really mad. I’m kind of embarrassed for her. But since she won’t shut up and the neighbors can hear all of this, I ask her to step back inside and sit down. She sits on the sofa and calms down a bit. She is glaring at me with all the moral self-righteousness that only a woman can muster up. She thinks she has me trapped. She is 100% convinced her plan has worked. Oh, the tangled web of lies and deceit she has wrought around herself and I am about to hack through them with a few pieces of paper.
I reach into my pocket slowly. I extract the three pieces of paper and unfold them slowly and deliberately.
I tell her simply, “You’re screwed”.
Her look doesn’t change. There is no way she can fathom what I have prepared.
I continue. “I am sterile”
Her look changes just a bit. Something is beginning to sink in. Naturally, she reverts to women’s logic. “You’re full of sh*t. You’re trapped and you know it.”
I hold up the letter and the test results. “Three months before we met, I had a vasectomy. Here is a notarized letter from him stating what I had done. Here are two test results showing that I tested negative for the presence of sperm. Blanks. I am shooting blanks. That baby inside you is simply not mine.”
This woman is not to be swayed by logic and clear documentation. “Bullsh*t, those are fakes.”
I was ready for that. “No, they are real. This last piece of paper is from my attorney. It’s a simple letter to you that states if you pursue any kind of legal action against me for child support that I will insist on a DNA test to prove paternity, that is, to prove that your baby is not mine.”
I give the woman all the documents. She reads them slowly, deliberately. With each passing second she can feel in her soul that she has made a very bad mistake. With denial swept away, she started to cry. It’s a small cry at first. Then it becomes deeper and more painful. By the time she gets to the letter from the lawyer she is sobbing.
I had no sympathy for her. I turned and walked out the door. Even after I closed the door I could still hear her sobbing.
Epilogue -
I never heard directly from this woman again. I did hear through my friends that she did indeed have the baby. I also heard that the real father was some guy in a band she had met. I assumed that after 30, women stopped going after musicians, bikers, criminals, and thugs. Silly me for thinking the best of American women.
The Moral of the Story -
Get a vasectomy but keep it a secret. - theshazcat, on 10/12/2007, -12/+251I am a chick. And I found this article utterly hilarious.
The title intrigued me as to what ***** logic could be behind it, but hey, I like it.
I will be the first to admit, women can be bitches, but don't let one spoil the whole crop.
On another note: I have stayed with a guy before because the sex was good. Hell I enjoy myself, is that a crime. - mancat, on 10/12/2007, -9/+240Who the ***** cares? Have you heard how some women talk about men? Have you seen how men are depicted as boorish, moronic loafs on television and in pop culture nowadays? Just watch one episode of King of Queens - that's all you'll be able to stand, anyway.
Sexism works both ways, you know. - Bhima, on 10/21/2007, -13/+242This in no way surprises me. I've read several studies showing many of that the men paying for and raising kids are not the biological fathers.
This is what women want... a daring rule breaker to impregnate them and a regular joe to raise the kid.
Why do you act all indignant? - MixMastaKooz, on 10/12/2007, -7/+185It's called Cuckholdry....named after the Cuckhold bird who finds a good partner to raise chicks and build a nest, but goes out and finds a bigger male to mate with.
It is believed women do this more often than we think...but researching it is difficult because it's hard to find a woman who's willing to be a part of a study about this. - dggeek, on 10/12/2007, -2/+167"Just because a woman is pregnant doesn't mean you have to marry her."
Of course not, but you are then legally obligated to pay child support (assuming it is yours). - Confuzed, on 10/12/2007, -6/+170This is originally posted at http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/sea/274495936.html
- SvenGeiss, on 10/12/2007, -14/+177I'm going through a rough patch of crazy women right now and all i have to say is... nice play my friend.
- mrharvey518, on 10/12/2007, -22/+178There are gals on digg?
- Dragon88, on 10/12/2007, -9/+163That'll be a great story for your future son.
"You were supposed to be a condom! I shot you into it, but your mom fished you out and shoved you in her vagina, because she's a controlling, lying bitch."
Yeah, that kid won't be ***** up when he learns how he was conceived. - Antha, on 10/12/2007, -7/+155*Waves*
I'm most definitely a girl.
And that chick got what was coming to her. It was a *****, mean trick to pull. - nixonrichard, on 10/12/2007, -6/+146It's sad when you are a woman whose entire future consists of a turkey baster and a used condom.
- masgrada, on 10/12/2007, -15/+144"I've went on dates with myself many times now..."
and I never get turned down for sex after! - ArntorFTL, on 10/12/2007, -9/+133@anchorman
"He continues using the woman for sex even after he knows her full story. In other words... he has no respect for her..."
Do you realize how asinine this sounds considering she cheated on him, got herself knocked up and then tried to foist the kid off on him as if he was the gravy train to picket fenced bliss? His lack of "respect" for this piece of trash is hardly the point here. - RandomGuySteve, on 10/12/2007, -9/+124Tabasco sauce in the condom. 60% of the time it works every time!
- haggie, on 10/12/2007, -54/+166That's why chicks have faces. For you to blow your load on. Can't get pregnant if its all over her forehead and chin!
- jimmiss, on 10/21/2007, -9/+115Wait! No woman in the entire world would ever have kids just to get money would they? Thats crazy talk.
- DreKor, on 10/12/2007, -14/+115I'd like to thank you for your text dump. It was most helpful.
- Crass22, on 10/12/2007, -10/+111ExecutiveMonkey said this way below, but I felt it should be raised near the top.
On multiple occasions he asked her if she was sure the baby was his. He gave her many opportunities to be honest and admit she was sleeping around. She chose not to. He only displayed a lack of respect for her when it became clear she had no respect for him.
I have sympathy for her because it is most likely she was thinking of the best interests of her child and not trying to steal this guy's money for her own use. She probably didn't know whether the child was his or the anonymous band members', and thus there is no reason to assume she's a con artist. She was probably a woman trapped in a hard position: be a single mother or try to secure a responsible father for her baby.
That said, she was in the wrong and I totally disagree with your opinion that the author of the story acted childishly and "deserves to be alone." He gave her every chance to be honest and instead she screamed at him, threatened him, told him he was "trapped," and insulted his manhood. If she wanted to be let down easy she should have shown some respect for her lover and not treated him like an object to be manipulated without any concern for his life and well-being. She should have told him that she was pregnant and that she didn't know if he was the father. She chose to sleep around and she had no right to try to take someone's life to cover for her own irresponsibility. Furthermore, she could have had an abortion. Today's women have the right to choose what to do with their own bodies, but not with the lives of their lovers and boyfriends. Men have rights too. - CindyBurger, on 10/12/2007, -7/+107whatever...Im a girl and I think she deserves every bit of it!
- rAid135, on 10/12/2007, -19/+115@anchorman
u clearly did not understand the story... the only reason he continued to have sex with her was because she was trying to put him in a legal bind which would force him to pay for child care etc. - inactive, on 10/12/2007, -8/+99The REAL Moral of the Story:
Don't screw around with someone you don't really know. - SilentSpyder, on 10/12/2007, -4/+88This gives me the chills. Imagine raising a son for years and to find out he's not yours after you loved him as your own. Scary but real.
- themastersb, on 10/12/2007, -9/+93The complete ownage of a website through the Digg effect.
- grabbingit1, on 10/12/2007, -27/+108What a great story! Thank you very much for writing it!
- mookiemookie, on 10/12/2007, -9/+90You know those stories that are so friggin great that you log in just to digg them? Yeah, this is one of those.
- josegutz, on 10/12/2007, -45/+123I've went on dates with myself many times now...
- dicerandom, on 10/12/2007, -4/+81You know, I got seriously railed on in a Social Studies class because of bringing up things like this. The discussion was around birth control, I mentioned that I very much wished there was a working and FDA-approved male equivalent to "the pill" so that I could have more control over whether or not I choose to father a child. I mentioned the fact that there are some crazy women who will go to great lengths (not taking pills, poking holes in condoms, etc.) to get pregnant in order to "catch" a man.
Can you guess what happened? Yup, every single woman in the class was all over my case. That would never happen, I'm a horrible person for even thinking such a thing, relationships need trust, etc.
Yeah, right. - carinishead, on 10/12/2007, -2/+76I just found out yesterday (Valentine's Day, ironically), that I'm not a father... I was dating a girl and when she got pregnant, she told me it was 100% mine, no chances it could be anybody else. Then, when I started telling her she'd have to move to Indiana (as I'm in school and she's from Georgia) if she wanted me to take care of the baby. This pissed her off, she dumped me, a month or so later it turns out instead of one possibility, me, there are actually 3 possible fathers. She broke down crying when she found out the baby wasn't mine yesterday. This could be because I'm the only boyfriend she has ever had who has not either A.) been in jail, B.) dropped out of highschool or not attended college, and/or C.) been a drug dealer. I had to do a fist-pump when she broke down... she treated me like dog ***** for months and broke my heart, then wanted to use me because I'm intelligent, stable, and have a bright financial future.
- owenadam, on 10/12/2007, -5/+78This girl I used to date kept on telling me she was late everytime we had a fight. I would go to the drug store, get a test and be really nice to her whle she played my fears. Needless to say, everytime this happened, she would get her way because i was too relieved to not be a daddy that I didnt really care if she got her way. (As a side note, more than one girl has told me that they do this quite frequently) Anyway, once I got wise and she tried it, I went to the store and bought six or seven tests (which for some reason is less embarassing than buying just one) and gave them to her in a bag I told her I figured it would save time in the future with a big grin. Anyway, it was the beginning of the end, but funny as hell
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -13/+84I think one thing is for certain, no matter how crazy a bitch is, if she has a killer rack, men put up with it until they cop a feel. Then its byebye.
- pagit, on 10/12/2007, -3/+67and by the way
happy valentines day - SigmaDraconis, on 10/12/2007, -9/+72No reason to bury the story for having such an accurate title. The woman DID get completely owned.
- koonchu, on 10/12/2007, -1/+63Were you nervous while Maury was opening the envelope?
- bitmanx, on 10/12/2007, -4/+65This same ***** happened to a friend of mine last year, he stuck with her the entire time through the pregnancy until birth. Then you have 30 days to change the name for whatever reason after birth because he held off getting married. He wisely invested in a $120 DNA test and dropped the news on her and her mother and told them to get f**k out.. She spilled the beans after saying she was knocked up from her past loser druggy boyfriend. Needless to say she already had two kids from a failed marriage. Lucky for my friend he walked away with zero kids and a potential loser wife.
- MixMastaKooz, on 10/12/2007, -6/+66Sorry...that's spelled cuckold
- thotpoizn, on 11/13/2007, -3/+62 I raised a son for years and loved him as if he were my own. Still do, in fact, even though he's all grown up now. I have never really much cared for the term "stepson" even though he was almost 2 years old when I married his mother. I'm just saying, suppose it happened to you and it WAS a surprise... Are you so petty and fragile that it would actually change your relationship with your SON? Would all those years of affection just evaporate because of what the mother had done? I just can't see it.
- inactive, on 10/12/2007, -3/+60"This gives me the chills. Imagine raising a son for years and to find out he's not yours after you loved him as your own. Scary but real."
That's when you almost want to divorce the woman and keep the kid...out of spite...and the fact that the KID actually loved you no matter what. Which is more than you can say about the woman. - offwithyourtv, on 10/12/2007, -3/+56I'm yet another one of those "gals on Digg." Hell, I didn't realize this many girls would have been on here replying, either.
And along with many of the other girls on here, I must agree that the guy had every excuse to be a dick to her. What she did was evil and selfish. I would have done the same thing if I were in that guy's situation.
And as someone else already mentioned, yes, many women are evil (perhaps even most of them) but don't judge us all based on these crazy bitches. There are those of us who don't even like kids. - Thrift, on 10/12/2007, -9/+62It's always sad to hear how people try to scam others in such diabolical ways. Good for him for not getting upset and seeing the laughter in this whole ordeal.
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