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Scientists: What If the Whole Universe Is Just One Big Atom?

theonion.com — A consortium of the world's top physicists descended upon Stanford University Monday to discuss some of the difficult questions. Among the revolutionary ideas expected to be raised at the historic week-long summit is the possibility that, like, our whole universe might be just one big atom in, say, some super-duper huge thing out there.

Who dugg this? Made popular Sep 11, 2008

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196 Comments

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  • Thrash16, on 09/11/2008, -19/+140Dear The Onion,
    You are abso-*****-lutely hilarious.
    -Sincerely,
    The rest of us
  • kingvik, on 09/11/2008, -1/+101I've been saying that for years, Hawking is stealing my ideas.
  • SugarCoatedSalt, on 09/11/2008, -1/+91when I read the headline I said out loud (no joke):

    "dude! I've always wondered tha-" then I saw the URL and said "oh *****"
  • Falldog, on 09/11/2008, -2/+80Sounds like someone just saw the ending to Men in Black.
  • SaintDogbert, on 09/11/2008, -0/+63Dude, what if the one big atom is the the same as all the little atoms in our universe and it all just loops around on itself forever? Wouldn't that be awesome? And do you have any more Cheetos? I've totally got the munchies.
  • drewski526, on 09/11/2008, -3/+51it's the onion, not Time magazine....
  • Yetisquatch, on 09/11/2008, -2/+49Yep. I was about 15 or so, stoned as hell, and called it "the infinite size theory". I never wrote a thesis so how did all of you people hear about it? Spies!!!

    On another note, hooray for weed and all the great ideas that have spawned from its use.
  • levitron, on 09/11/2008, -3/+43Yeah, but....dude....what if it really is?

    (somehow those questions sound a lot deeper when asked late into the evening, after a feast of beer, pizza and some weed....)
  • copypasterepeat, on 09/12/2008, -0/+33Hahaha...

    [raises hand] Me too.

    Is it really odd that, (based on a lot of the comments here) that many of us came to this enlightening conclusion when we were younger? And I'm talking pre-MIB ending.
  • ElHoju, on 09/11/2008, -0/+29"They call them fingers, but I've never seen them fing"
  • browbeaten, on 09/11/2008, -0/+29This article is remarkably accurate.
  • inactive, on 09/11/2008, -8/+35The Onion FTW.
  • cricketsymphony, on 09/11/2008, -3/+27http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fifth_Element
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fifth_Elephant
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fifth_Beatle
  • Nairebis, on 09/11/2008, -1/+24What if... the color I see as red... YOU'RE seeing as... blue.

    Stop man, you're blowin' my mind!! I need more Doritos...
  • theNazz, on 09/11/2008, -1/+22"What if DOG spelled CAT?"
  • DeathJux, on 09/11/2008, -1/+22"Today a young man on acid realized that all matter is merely energy condensed to a slow vibration, that we are all one consciousness experiencing itself subjectively, there is no such thing as death, life is only a dream, and we are the imagination of ourselves. Here’s Tom with the weather."

  • inactive, on 09/11/2008, -1/+21I swear, I don't think there was a person alive who, on seeing the ending to Men in Black, didn't instantly think "I KNEW IT!"
  • CasinoJack, on 09/11/2008, -1/+20Simpsons did it!
  • inactive, on 09/11/2008, -1/+17It is in Orions belt.
  • OneLess, on 09/11/2008, -2/+18Oh no, curse words! Hide the ***** god damn ***** women and children!
  • inactive, on 09/11/2008, -0/+16And some of my bad ideas...

    Like everyone having their own planet for storage. It'd be like lockers, but bigger and further out.

    It worked in my mind at the time.
  • knodi, on 09/12/2008, -2/+16You mean there are countless other universe and you or me are nothing special? Ya right buddy I'm an American. Not only am I special but I'll kick you ass too.
  • thegrantman, on 09/12/2008, -1/+15It is in Onions belt.
  • Lacero, on 09/11/2008, -0/+14Quantum hydroponics FTW!
  • moonboots, on 09/11/2008, -2/+15simpsons did it
  • synystar, on 09/11/2008, -0/+13Yeah, but imagine Hawking saying "Man, that ***** would be so ***** up." via his voice-synthesizer... ahh, I'm still chuckling.
  • inactive, on 09/11/2008, -9/+21slow down there, mrs palin. go ban some books and stuff.
  • inactive, on 09/11/2008, -1/+13Love the Onion! And it makes me think of the intro to Contact. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kNAUR7NQCLA
  • SpeedSteamBoat, on 09/12/2008, -0/+10Yeah, it's right up there with the "Our high conversations are so awesome! We should record them and turn them into a movie/book/TV show/stage production. We'd be rich!"

    Haha, good times.
  • shutaro, on 09/11/2008, -1/+11What if hamburgers ate people?
  • RudeTurnip, on 09/12/2008, -0/+8Or, as Carl Sagan put it, a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam.
  • yueandme, on 09/12/2008, -0/+8Is it pathetic that I was reading the article, didn't realize it was from the onion, and thought that it was a legitimate science article?

    Brilliant.
  • DestroyFascism, on 09/11/2008, -0/+8The theory would be true if the universe is 4 or 5 dimensional.

    Never ending in both scales...

  • Br3ach, on 09/11/2008, -0/+8Hmm, if that were true then there could be some race of aliens that built their own LHC and could possibly collide our universe into another at near light speed. Something tells me that would suck for about 1/billionth of a second
  • sockpuppets, on 09/11/2008, -2/+10What if my pink thing licked me?
  • lekahe, on 09/11/2008, -0/+8I love the idea.
  • IIAmusedII, on 09/12/2008, -0/+7Does vulgar language totally ***** up your ***** too?
  • lennybird, on 09/12/2008, -0/+7Well, in Russia, they do.
  • inactive, on 09/11/2008, -2/+9I beat the Onion by about 30 years. We used to sit around as kids an put forth similar ideas...without any ad banners of course.
  • lloydruberus, on 09/12/2008, -0/+6What if lettuce ate hamburgers?
  • charm803, on 09/11/2008, -0/+6What if....the Doritos you see as chips...are really snails?
  • blacklilyninja, on 09/11/2008, -0/+6this was great LSD conversation back in the day.
  • ProfessorRamrod, on 09/11/2008, -0/+5I thought i was trippin when they mentioned string theory..im going to lie down now to recollect myself..i seriously need to eat more ho ho's

  • inactive, on 09/11/2008, -2/+7http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Fifth_Dimension
  • ishkabum, on 09/11/2008, -2/+7yeah seriously, when i saw this i was like nice .... somebody had a good conversation over a blunt or two. i mean, hasn't any eleven-year old had this same epiphany? it indeed is very interesting, but what is really to be said or proven about it, scientifically?
  • inactive, on 09/11/2008, -0/+5always felt this way...
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cLGJoX44QQ
  • Raptor007, on 09/12/2008, -0/+5It's funny to see all these people going "woah, I totally thought of that first". I bet someone in the 1500's or so beat you to it. Besides, didn't prettymuch everybody ponder this at some point?

    Anyway people... it's an Onion article. I'm sure real scientists have debated this issue many times before.
  • ousthouse, on 09/12/2008, -0/+5geez. I want to punch you in the face.
  • omenmedia, on 09/12/2008, -0/+5Same here, I've always wondered about this since being a kid!
  • Mononuclear, on 09/12/2008, -0/+5you got pregnant before you were 11?
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