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44 Comments
- CementShoes, on 01/28/2009, -1/+34dugg for pictures
- Bic823, on 01/28/2009, -0/+17Should have included
"When you have the ability to arbitrarily turn invincible (see Tartarus in Halo 2, among countless others), why not have this ability activated ALL THE TIME" - sgmeyer, on 01/28/2009, -1/+15Other than "Dugg for X...", does any body have anything good to say?
- SiPhuYoda, on 01/28/2009, -0/+14May I direct your attention to this final boss from some Japanese shoot-em-up
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nscP9QpXoFM - hitkaiser, on 01/28/2009, -4/+16***** you two of my friends died because they had something good to say!
- Pxtl, on 01/28/2009, -0/+11This. That was my very first thought. If you have an invincibility-based attack (or even worse, you're always invincible except for a handful of attacks that expose you), why do you ever stop using it? This goes way, way back. Oldest memory I have of one of those is Heat Man from Megaman 2.
Similarly, if you can fire two weapons out of your guns: coconuts and fireballs, and your only weakness is when people throw coconuts at you, maybe you should stick to the fireballs? - FFXIfrohike, on 01/28/2009, -0/+10This was done on Usenet years ago. Only this one's not as funny, and shorter. Anyway, here's the list:
-Call upon your creativity when it comes to attack patterns.
-Consider that the traps in your lair may pose a threat to you as well.
-For bosses of unusual size: do not build platforms that allow direct access to your face.
-Don't situate your lair next to a room full of weapons, health packs and save points.
-For the love of God, cover your glowing red spot! - GuanYuber, on 01/28/2009, -0/+10Dugg, although Ruby Weapon was harder than Emerald.
- fliptiger, on 01/28/2009, -1/+9Dugg for Shadow of the Colossus and Kirby pictures
- LargeStack, on 01/28/2009, -0/+7 Dugg for --- For the love of God, cover your glowing red spot!
- psykiv, on 01/28/2009, -0/+7Dugg for proper use of apostrophes.
- inactive, on 01/28/2009, -0/+7Flaming coconuts would cover that up and kill the hero pretty quick.
- inactive, on 01/28/2009, -0/+7Are you kidding me? Sure, he doesn't look like much now, but to a 7-year-old kid, he's terrifying.
- inactive, on 01/28/2009, -0/+6Don't believe you heard of a game called Ikaruga or Radiant Silvergun... Any boss in any level.
- SiliconRain, on 01/28/2009, -0/+5Agreed. The first picture had me pissing myself with laughter and nostalgia simultaneously.
- biggbear, on 01/28/2009, -1/+6Agreed. I think I hate Ruby Weapon more than any boss from any other game. Someone refresh my memory if there is a harder boss than Ruby Weapon.
- buzzbeater, on 01/28/2009, -0/+5And also... make sure that every corner of the screen can be reached by at least one attack pattern
One more thing.. have an escape plan (a well rehearsed script for pleading to the hero) like dr. willy - rDr4g0n, on 01/28/2009, -0/+5dugg for the fantastic artwork!
oh and I guess people want me to say something else... omg power users and shouts are ruining digg etc... there. - cgrickard, on 01/28/2009, -0/+5not dugg, but the pictures are cool.
- Vosona, on 01/28/2009, -2/+7Buried for being a complaining bitch.
- FFXIfrohike, on 02/01/2009, -0/+379. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured of all
extremely unusual phobias and bizarre compulsive habits which could
prove to be a disadvantage.
80. If I must have computer systems with publically available
terminals, the maps they display of my complex will have a room
clearly marked as the Main Control Room. That room will be the
Execution Chamber. The actual main control room will be marked as
Sewage Overflow Containment.
81. My security keypad will actually be a fingerprint scanner. Anyone
who watches someone press a sequence of buttons or dusts the pad for
fingerprints then subsequently tries to enter by repeating that
sequence will trigger the alarm system.
82. No matter how many shorts we have in the system, my guards will
be instructed to treat every surveillance camera malfunction as a
full-scale emergency.
83. I will spare someone who saved my life sometime in the past. This is
only reasonable as it encourages others to do so. However, the offer is
good one time only. If they want me to spare them again, they'd better
save my life again.
84. All midwives will be banned from the realm. All babies will be
delivered at state-approved hospitals. Orphans will be placed in
foster-homes, not abandoned in the woods to be raised by creatures of
the wild.
85. When my guards split up to search for intruders, they will always
travel in groups of at least two. They will be trained so that if one of
them disappears mysteriously while on patrol, the other will
immediately initiate an alert and call for backup, instead of
quizzically peering around a corner.
86. If I decide to test a lieutenant's loyalty and see if he/she should be
made a trusted lieutenant, I will have a crack squad of marksmen standing
by in case the answer is no.
87. If all the heroes are standing together around a strange device and
begin to taunt me, I will pull out a conventional weapon instead of using
my unstoppable superweapon on them.
88. I will not agree to let the heroes go free if they win a rigged contest,
even though my advisors assure me it is impossible for them to win.
89. When I create a multimedia presentation of my plan designed so that
my five-year-old advisor can easily understand the details, I will not
label the disk "Project Overlord" and leave it lying on top of my desk.
90. I will instruct my Legions of Terror to attack the hero en masse,
instead of standing around waiting while members break off and attack
one or two at a time.
91. If the hero runs up to my roof, I will not run up after him and struggle
with him in an attempt to push him over the edge. I will also not engage
him at the edge of a cliff. (In the middle of a rope-bridge over a river of
molten lava is not even worth considering.)
92. If I have a fit of temporary insanity and decide to give the hero the
chance to reject a job as my trusted lieutentant, I will retain enough
sanity to wait until my current trusted lieutenant is out of earshot before
making the offer.
93. I will not tell my Legions of Terror "And he must be taken alive!" The
command will be "And try to take him alive if it is reasonably practical."
94 .If my doomsday device happens to come with a reverse switch, as
soon as it has been employed it will be melted down and made into
limited-edition commemorative coins.
95. If my weakest troops fail to eliminate a hero, I will send out my best
troops instead of wasting time with progressively stronger ones as he
gets closer and closer to my fortress.
96. If I am fighting with the hero atop a moving platform, have disarmed
him, and am about to finish him off and he glances behind me and drops
flat, I too will drop flat instead of quizzically turning around to find out
what he saw.
97. I will not shoot at any of my enemies if they are standing in front of
the crucial support beam to a heavy, dangerous, unbalanced structure.
98. If I'm eating dinner with the hero, put poison in his goblet, then have
to leave the table for any reason, I will order new drinks for both of us
instead of trying to decide whether or not to switch with him.
99. I will not have captives of one sex guarded by members of the
opposite sex.
100. I will not use any plan in which the final step is horribly
complicated, e.g. "Align the 12 Stones of Power on the sacred altar then
activate the medallion at the moment of total eclipse." Instead it will be
more along the lines of "Push the button."
101. I will make sure that my doomsday device is up to code and
properly grounded.
102. My vats of hazardous chemicals will be covered when not in use.
Also, I will not construct walkways above them.
103. If a group of henchmen fail miserably at a task, I will not berate
them for incompetence then send the same group out to try the task again.
104. After I captures the hero's superweapon, I will not immediately
disband my legions and relax my guard because I believe whoever holds
the weapon is unstoppable. After all, the hero held the weapon and I took
it from him.
105. I will not design my Main Control Room so that every workstation
is facing away from the door.
106. I will not ignore the messenger that stumbles in exhausted and
obviously agitated until my personal grooming or current entertainment
is finished. It might actually be important.
107. If I ever talk to the hero on the phone, I will not taunt him. Instead I
will say this his dogged perseverance has given me new insight on the
futility of my evil ways and that if he leaves me alone for a few months
of quiet contemplation I will likely return to the path of righteousness.
(Heroes are incredibly gullible in this
regard.)
108. If I decide to hold a double execution of the hero and an
underling who failed or betrayed me, I will see to it that the hero is
scheduled to go first.
109. When arresting prisoners, my guards will not allow them to stop
and grab a useless trinket of purely sentimental value.
110. My dungeon will have its own qualified medical staff complete with
bodyguards. That way if a prisoner becomes sick and his cellmate tells
the guard it's an emergency, the guard will fetch a trauma team instead
of opening up the cell for a look.
111. My door mechanisms will be designed so that blasting the control
panel on the outside seals the door and blasting the control panel on the
inside opens the door, not vice versa.
112. My dungeon cells will not be furnished with objects that contain
reflective surfaces or anything that can be unravelled.
113. If an attractive young couple enters my realm, I will carefully
monitor their activities. If I find they are happy and affectionate, I will
ignore them. However if circumstance have forced them together against
their will and they spend all their time bickering and
criticizing each other except during the intermittent occasions when they
are saving each others' lives at which point there are hints of sexual
tension, I will immediately order their execution.
114. Any data file of crucial importance will be padded to 1.45Mb in
size.
115. Finally, to keep my subjects permanently locked in a mindless
trance, I will provide each of them with free unlimited Internet access.
This Evil Overlord List is Copyright 1996-1997 by Peter Anspach
<Anspach@aol.com>. If you enjoy it, feel free to pass it along or post
it anywhere, provided that (1) it is not altered in any way, and (2) this
copyright notice is attached. - CoD4, on 01/28/2009, -0/+3gotta love sotc, i never got past the eighth boss, maybe tonight!
- FFXIfrohike, on 02/01/2009, -0/+3
If I Ever Become an Evil Overlord:
1. My legions of terror will have helmets with clear plexiglass visors, not
face-concealing ones.
2. My ventilation ducts will be too small to crawl through.
3. My noble half-brother whose throne I usurped will be killed, not kept
anonymously imprisoned in a forgotten cell of my dungeon.
4. Shooting is not too good for my enemies.
5. The artifact which is the source of my power will not be kept on the
Mountain of Despair beyond the River of Fire guarded by the Dragons of
Eternity. It will be in my safe-deposit box.
6. I will not gloat over my enemies' predicament before killing them.
7. When the rebel leader challenges me to fight one-on-one and asks, "Or are
you afraid without your armies to back you up?" My reply will be, "No, just
sensible."
8. When I've captured my adversary and he says, "Look, before you kill me,
will you at least tell me what this is all about?" I'll shoot him, and then say
"No".
9. After I kidnap the beautiful princess (or prince), we will be married
immediately in a quiet civil ceremony, not a lavish spectacle in three weeks
time during which the final phase of my plan will be carried out.
10. I will not include a self-destruct mechanism unless absolutely necessary.
If it is necessary, it will not be a large red button labelled "Danger: Do Not
Push".
11. I will not order my trusted lieutenant to kill the infant who is destined to
overthrow me -- I'll do it myself.
12. I will not interrogate my enemies in the inner sanctum -- a small hotel
well outside my borders will work just as well.
13. I will be secure in my superiority. Therefore, I will feel no need to prove
it by leaving clues in the form of riddles or leaving my weaker enemies alive
to show they pose no threat.
14. I will not waste time making my enemy's death look like an accident: I'm
not accountable to anyone and my other enemies wouldn't believe it.
15. I will make it clear that I do know the meaning of the word "mercy"; I
simply choose not show them any.
16. One of my advisors will be an average five-year-old child. Any flaws in
my plan that he is able to spot will be corrected before
implementation.
17. All slain enemies will be cremated, not left for dead at the bottom of the
cliff. The announcement of their deaths, as well as any
accompanying celebration, will be deferred until after the
aforementioned disposal.
18. My undercover agents will not have tattoos identifying them as members
of my organization, nor will they be required to wear military boots or
adhere to any other dress codes.
19. The hero is not entitled to a last kiss, a last cigarette, or any other form
of last request.
20. I will never employ any device with a digital countdown. If I find that
such a device is absolutely unavoidable, I will set it to activate when the
counter reaches 117 and the hero is just putting his plan into operation.
21. I will design all doomsday machines myself. If I must hire a mad scientist
to assist me, I will make sure that he is sufficiently twisted to never regret
his evil ways and seek to undo the damage he's caused.
22. I will never utter the sentence "But before I kill you, there's just one
thing I want to know."
23. When I employ people as advisors, I will occasionally listen to their
advice.
24. I will not have a son. Although his laughably under-planned
attempt to usurp power would easily fail, it would provide a
fatal distraction at a crucial point in time.
25. I will not have a daughter. She would be as beautiful as she was evil,
but one look at the hero's rugged countenance and she'd
betray her own father.
26. Despite its proven stress-relieving effect, I will not indulge in
maniacal laughter. When so occupied, it's too easy to miss
unexpected developments that a more attentive individual could
adjust to accordingly.
27. I will hire a talented fashion designer to create original
uniforms for my legions of terror, as opposed to some cheap
knock-offs that make them look like Nazi stormtroopers, Roman
footsoldiers, or savage Mongol hordes. All were eventually
defeated and I want my troops to have a more positive mind-set.
28. No matter how tempted I am with the prospect of unlimited power, I
will not consume any energy field bigger than my head.
29. I will keep a special cache of low-tech weapons and train my troops in
their use. That way -- even if the heroes manage to
neutralize my power generator and/or render the standard-issue
energy weapons useless -- my troops will not be overrun by a
handful of savages armed with spears and rocks.
30. I will maintain a realistic assessment of my strengths and
weaknesses. Even though this takes some of the fun out of the job, at
least I will never utter the line ``No, this cannot be! I AM
INVINCIBLE!!!'' (After that, death is usually instantaneous.)
31. No matter how well it would perform, I will never construct any sort
of machinery which is completely indestructable except for one small and
virtually inaccessible vulnerable spot.
32. If I am engaged in a duel to the death with the hero and I am fortunate
enough to knock the weapon out of his hand, I will
graciously allow him to retrieve it. This is not from a sense of fair play;
rather, he will be so startled and confused that I will easily be able to
dispatch him.
33. No matter how attractive certain members of the rebellion are, there
is probably someone just as attractive who is not desperate to kill me.
Therefore, I will think twice before ordering a
prisoner sent to my bedchamber.
34. I will never build only one of anything important. For the same reason
I will always carry at least two fully loaded weapons at
all times.
35. If my supreme command center comes under attack, I will
immediately flee to safety in my prepared escape pod and direct
the defenses from there. I will not wait until the troops break
into my inner sanctum to attempt this.
36. My pet monster will be kept in a secure cage from which it cannot
escape and into which I could not accidentally stumble.
37. Even though I don't really care because I plan on living forever, I will
hire engineers who are able to build me a fortress sturdy enough that, if I
am slain, it won't tumble to the ground for no good structural reason.
38. I will dress in bright and cheery colors, and so throw my enemies
into confusion.
39. All bumbling conjurers, clumsy squires, no-talent bards, and
cowardly thieves in the land will be pre-emptively put to death. My foes
will surely give up and abandon their quest if they have no source of
comic relief.
40. All naive, busty tavern wenches in my realm will be replaced with
surly, world-weary waitresses who will provide no unexpected
reinforcement and/or romantic subplot for the hero or his sidekick.
41. Any and all magic and/or technology that can miraculously
resurrect a secondary character who has given up his/her life
through self sacrifice will be outlawed and destroyed.
42. I will not fly into a rage and kill a messenger who brings me bad news
just to illustrate how evil I really am. Good messengers are hard to come
by.
43. I will see to it that plucky young lads/lasses in strange clothes and
with the accent of an outlander shall REGULARLY climb some
monument in the main sqaure of my capital and denounce me, claim to
know the secret of my power, rally the masses to rebellion, etc. That
way, the citizens will be jaded in case the real thing ever comes along.
44. I won't require high-ranking female members of my organization to
wear a stainless-steel bustier. Morale is better with a more casual
dress-code. Similarly, outfits made entirely from black leather
will be reserved for formal occasions.
45. I will not employ devious schemes that involve the hero's party
getting into my inner sanctum before the trap is sprung.
46. I will not turn into a snake. It never helps.
47. I will not grow a goatee. In the old days they made you look diabolic.
Now they just make you look like a disaffected member of Generation X.
48. I will not imprison members of the same party in the same cell block,
let alone the same cell. If they are important prisoners, I will keep the
only key to the cell door on my person instead of handing out copies to
every bottom-rung guard in the prison.
49. If my trusted lieutenant tells me my Legions of Terror are losing a
battle, I will believe him. After all, he's my trusted
lieutenant.
50. If an enemy I have just killed has a younger sibling or offspring
anywhere, I will find them and have them killed immediately,
instead of waiting for them to grow up harboring feelings of
vengance towards me in my old age.
51. If I absolutely must ride into battle, I will certainly not ride at the
forefront of my Legions of Terror, nor will I seek out my opposite
number among his army.
52. I will be neither chivalrous nor sporting. If I have an
unstoppable
superweapon, I will use it as early and as often as possible
instead of keeping it in reserve.
53. Once my power is secure, I will destroy all those pesky
time-travel
devices.
54. I will offer oracles the choice of working exclusively for me or being
executed.
55. When I capture the hero, I will make sure I also get his dog, monkey,
ferret, or whatever sickeningly cute little animal capable of untying
ropes and filching keys happens to follow him around.
56. I will maintain a healthy amount of skepticism when I capture the
beautiful rebel and she claims she is attracted to my power and
good looks and will gladly betray her companions if I just let her in on my
plans.
57. I will only employ bounty hunters who work for money. Those who
work for the pleasure of the hunt tend to do dumb things like even the
odds to give the other guy a sporting chance.
58. I will not rely entirely upon ``totally reliable'' spells that can be
neutralized by relatively inconspicuous talismen.
59. I will make sure I have a clear understanding of who is
responsible
for what in my organization. For example, if my general screws up I will
not draw my weapon, point it at him, say ``And here is the price for
failure," then suddenly turn and kill some random underling.
60. If an advisor says to me ``My liege, he is but one man. What can one
man possibly do?'' I will reply ``This.'' and kill the
advisor.
61. If I learn that a callow youth has begun a quest to destroy me, I will
slay him while he is still a callow youth instead of waiting for him to
mature.
62. I will treat any beast which I control through magic or technology
with respect and kindness. Thus if the control is ever broken, it will not
immediately come after me for revenge.
63. If I learn the whereabouts of the one artifact which can destroy me, I
will not send all my troops out to seize it. Instead I will send them out to
seize something else and quietly put a Want-Ad in the local paper.
64. My main computers will have their own special operating system that
will be completely incompatable with standard IBM and
Macintosh powerbooks.
65. I will make the main entrance to my fortress standard-sized. While
elaborate 60-foot high double-doors definitely impress the masses, they
are hard to close quickly in an emergency.
66. If one of my dungeon guards begins expressing concern over the
conditions in the beautiful princess' cell, I will immediately
transfer him to a less people-oriented position.
67. I will hire a team of board-certified architects and surveyors to
examine my castle and inform me of any secret passages and
abandoned tunnels that I might not know about.
68. If the beautiful princess that I captures says ``I'll never marry you!
Never, do you hear me, NEVER!!!'' I will say ``Oh well,'' and kill her.
69. I will not strike a bargain with a demonic being then attempt to
double-cross it simply because I feel like being contrary.
70. The deformed mutants and odd-ball psychotics will have their place in
my Legions of Terror. However before I send them out on important
covert missions that require tact and subtlety, I will first see if there is
anyone else equally qualified who would attract less
attention.
71..My Legions of Terror will be trained in basic marksmanship. Any who
cannot learn to hit a man-sized target at 10 meters will be used for
target practice.
72.Before employing any captured artifacts or machinery, I will
carefully read the owner's manual.
73.If it becomes necessary to escape, I will never stop to pose
dramatically and toss off a one-liner.
74..I will never build a sentient computer smarter than I am.
75. My five-year-old child advisor will also be asked to decipher any
code I am thinking of using. If he breaks the code in under 30
seconds, it will not be used. Note: this also applies to passwords.
76. If my advisors ask "Why are you risking everything on such a mad
scheme?", I will not proceed until I have a response that satisfies them.
77. I will design fortress hallways with no alcoves or protruding
structural supports which intruders could use for cover in a
firefight.
78. Bulk trash will be disposed of in incinerators, not compactors. And
they will be kept hot, with none of that nonsense about flames going
through accessible tunnels at predictable intervals.
79. I will see a competent psychiatrist and get cured - deshabble, on 01/28/2009, -0/+3The art is a really cool style, i like it a lot.
- lgoose, on 01/29/2009, -0/+3If you are big and has weak legs, stay sit...
if you are some magical creature made of bones, stay away from falling rocks, better yet stay on open field
if you're bigger than the hero, when he vanishes FIRST LOOK BEHIND YOU
don't you ever get stuck
if you throw projectiles, make sure that they can't be thrown back to you
never stock ammo or explosive stuff in your lair - Halsfield, on 01/30/2009, -0/+3devil may cry 4 definitely falls victim to the platforms next to your head . they give you platforms that let you bounce around 100s of feet in any direction and you finally get close to the head or arms/legs to make attacks. without the platforms there's no stopping you.
- howyudoin, on 01/28/2009, -1/+4Dugg for Kirby
- themastersb, on 01/28/2009, -0/+2Dugg for *insert something relevant here and receive Diggs*
- Snoosy, on 01/28/2009, -2/+4Not dugg because these comments suck and the article really wasn't that good aside from the pictures.
- ssquared22, on 01/29/2009, -0/+2These illustrations were AWESOME.
- 1807, on 01/28/2009, -2/+4My two of friends died because they DIDN'T have any witty last words.
- FordSVT1, on 01/28/2009, -1/+3Sonic and Mario can't walk through walls, so why not just build a big wall? Why give them an (albeit deadly) path through in the first place?
- Darksider, on 01/28/2009, -1/+3Dugg for my boss resembling bowser
- EvilFerret, on 01/29/2009, -0/+2From what I understand in those impossible Japanese shmups, only a single pixel at the exact center of the ship will cause a kill....... So instead of absolutely impossible, it's just next to impossible.
- secaedelcielo, on 01/28/2009, -2/+4Cute ;-;
- jggr, on 01/29/2009, -0/+2http://www.eviloverlord.com/lists/overlord.html
Everyone's favourite and super funny list. - AteNas, on 03/29/2009, -0/+1Agreed. It is the same as saying that you liked something, nothing against, but it would be wonderfull if in your comment you could add anything to the subject.
For all those other three comments, you are the ones whining about something here. - icreonerp, on 02/21/2009, -0/+1Dug for some tips there.
http://www.icreongamestudio.com - w00tnot, on 01/28/2009, -1/+1Dugg for King Dedede
- psolimyn, on 01/28/2009, -2/+1wayyy harder. especially if you're trying to beat him with 3 characters, cloud & cid using triple growth weapons, and low ap materia.... because if you're not, what's the point?
- 1807, on 01/28/2009, -8/+7You know what would be a great article? Writing a story about video game bosses who are more like REAL bosses. Like the Commander Chief guy from Gears of War two. He sends Marcus Fenix and co. into this living ***** storm knowing full well they are probably not going to make it out alive. Not to mention the COUNTLESS "bosses" you have in RPGs who ask you to find their damn fishing pole so you can make it through the town. Find your own damn fishing pole! Or go buy a new one cheap skate! Hell, I'll go buy you a new one with all the money I find which just happens to be carried around by the man-eating monsters that invisibly wander the land. It'll give me something meaningful to buy other than better weapons and armor which are only good till you get to the next town.
Ok, ok, calm down 1807, sorry. - RunDiggMC, on 01/28/2009, -3/+1Dugg for the smiling Bowser from Super Mario Brothers being perhaps the least intimidating video game boss ever.
Check him out: http://www.videogamesblogger.com/wp-content/upload ... - inactive, on 01/28/2009, -5/+2Don't believe you heard of a game called Ikaruga or Radiant Silvergun... Any boss in any level.
EDIT: Wrong thread, oops. - Elranzer, on 01/28/2009, -7/+3Most of the bosses from FFXII made Ruby and Emerald look tame in comparison.



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