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Guy Survival Chemistry - Mix Your Own Cleaners

thebachelorguy.com — Using only three main ingredients: water, baking soda and white vinegar, you can cook up some homemade cleaners that'll get your place in date-shape before your girlfriend shows up. And for a helluva lot less than the cleaners you buy in the store.

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  • GemStar38, on 06/09/2008, -1/+30I wish my boyfriend would clean up. I doubt he even has these ingredients though.
    • Terr01, on 06/09/2008, -2/+22I question the point of this article.

      As a bachelor, I don't even have baking soda or white vinegar in my kitchen. It makes more sense to just get some 409 or window cleaner.

      Do you really want guys "inventing" new cleaning solutions? ("Well, I figured carpet is sort of like hair, so I added conditioner too, but now it's too thick to spray...")
      • t0x2c, on 06/10/2008, -0/+3Lucky you, the actual article does not call for any baking soda. So you're halfway there.
        • yaddayaddayoda, on 06/10/2008, -3/+3Anyone purchasing these items at the same time will get a visit from the Department of Homeland Security.
    • gpit2286, on 06/09/2008, -13/+5Girls use digg?
    • l800LEMMINGS, on 06/10/2008, -1/+2its not his fault its the ADD why do you think we're all on digg
    • MetalGear7, on 06/10/2008, -5/+1Sounds like he has a sexual problem...maybe I can fix my ingredients into your cooking pan what you say :P
    • gaapgod, on 06/10/2008, -2/+1Your BF should get a job and buy the real stuff.
  • livegreenordie, on 06/09/2008, -0/+16 That's what my mom used to use-vinegar/water on windows w/newspaper instead of paper towels~
    • rhabd0mancer, on 06/09/2008, -0/+5Ethyl rubbing alcohol + water is the best window cleaner.
      • sulthernao, on 06/09/2008, -0/+3True, but I can't stand the smell.
        • rhabd0mancer, on 06/10/2008, -0/+4Ethyl alcohol doesn't smell bad. You are thinking of the other kind, isopropyl alcohol.
    • edelay, on 06/10/2008, -5/+1That why you're mom so hot!
  • funyimahelen, on 06/09/2008, -0/+9this and the book "a man, a can, a plan" are fitting for any bachelor guy!
  • kelleydfp, on 06/09/2008, -0/+13Baking Soda is used for just about anything.
    • t0x2c, on 06/10/2008, -0/+8It's in the description, it's in the top of the article, but it's not used in ANY of the recipes in the actual article. WTF?
  • ventsi, on 06/09/2008, -0/+12You can add lemon juice insted of vinegar it smells better
    :):):)
    • mewho, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1Just wondering-- how many guys keep fresh lemons/or lemon juice on hand?
      • BoomShake007, on 06/10/2008, -0/+3Lemon juice can be used in drinks and food. Always good to have some in the fridge.
  • Digitel, on 06/09/2008, -2/+31Bong Cleaner:
    1 cup Rubbing (isopropyl) alcohol
    1 tsp Salt

    Same as the 420 cleaner but almost free when compared
    • kakwakas, on 06/10/2008, -1/+1Adding some window cleaner helps, too.
    • borsaid, on 06/10/2008, -0/+0Use sea salt. . .it won't dissolve as quickly and is much more coarse. It will act as a better scrubbing agent than your typical table salt.
    • joshblufs, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1Never tried salt just straight iso, which works really well. What is salt supposed to do? does it help allot?
    • Rikkochet, on 06/10/2008, -0/+4This is the most helpful comment I think I've ever seen on digg. Seriously, thanks man. Boiling water is such a pain to use.
    • danomagnum, on 06/10/2008, -8/+1Ammonia + Bleach is the preferred method. Gets my bong squeaky clean.
      • gnarnia, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1Yeah man, nothing gets you ripped quite like a lung-full of chlorine gas.
    • senatorpjt, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1Acetone works well if it's not plastic.
    • cathpah, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1if you're anti salt, you can always use small grain rice to achieve the same effect (to scrape off all the gnarliness that doesn't come off with hot water alone)

      grass friendly diggers.........unite!
    • Larsonal777, on 06/10/2008, -0/+2damn... i find it funny that so many people are all serious on how to clean their bongs.
    • Oea420, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1coarse sea salt + 90% iso = best ever

      fill up glass with this stuff, shake like crazy.. .salt will make it so goddamn clean
  • AlwaysAwake, on 06/09/2008, -1/+12We waste a lot of money on cleaners that, even if they work, and many don't, are way too expensive . Thanks for the tips.
    • Larsonal777, on 06/10/2008, -0/+2most cleaners are diluted too... you know the best cleaner is bleach... put it in some hot water and use it to clean the bathroom... kills everything that might be growing in there and cleans too... heck... most cleaners especially the ones that say "contains bleach" are just that... bleach (or something you can get for cheap) with water and presto... they make millions... its aaall marketing people
  • itsgotyou, on 06/09/2008, -15/+1My bitch already knows about this. BURIED!
    • sockpuppets, on 06/09/2008, -0/+20He doesn't like it when you call him that.
      • itsgotyou, on 06/10/2008, -2/+2Yes he does. You can ask him yourself. His nick here is MrBabyMan.
  • bossm4n, on 06/09/2008, -0/+22That furniture polish makes a nice salad dressing as well.
    • apmtt, on 06/10/2008, -2/+0A piece of lettuce probably makes a nice replacement for the cloth when using this as furniture polish.
    • joshblufs, on 06/10/2008, -2/+1I'd stick to using it on salad unless you like the smell of rancid olive oil all over your furniture.
      • joshblufs, on 06/10/2008, -0/+2p.s. use mineral oil it does not develop that off smell.
    • AmericansRevolt, on 06/10/2008, -2/+0funny, bossm4n. :D
  • rapcrap187, on 06/09/2008, -2/+9Erm? doesnt basking soda and vinegar sorta of ... erupt when you mix the two? Like with the middle school volcano project?
    • GemStar38, on 06/10/2008, -0/+6It does, that's why none of the recipes in the article tell you to mix them together
      • Larsonal777, on 06/10/2008, -0/+3NONE of the recipes in the article tell you to mix baking soda at ALL... what gives... baking soda feels left out
    • TheThirdLevel, on 06/10/2008, -0/+6NaHCO3 + C2H4O2 ----> NaC2H3O2 + H2O + CO2

      Thanks for the review, my chem final is in two days.
      • t0x2c, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1But what type of reaction is this?
        • WalkerTXclocker, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1It's a double replacement reaction, and is also a neutralization reaction. Carbonic acid is unstable, and it immediately falls apart into carbon dioxide (CO2) and water (H2O). The bubbles you see from the reaction come from the carbon dioxide escaping the solution that is left. Carbon dioxide is heavier than air, so, it flows almost like water when it overflows the container.
  • sockpuppets, on 06/09/2008, -0/+24I use snozzberries to clean my kitchen. The fumes are delicious, they smell like smurf hugs.
    • borez, on 06/09/2008, -0/+10I have snozzberry wallpaper, it rocks
    • Geister, on 06/09/2008, -1/+9Snozzberry? Who ever heard of a snozzberry?
    • AmericansRevolt, on 06/10/2008, -1/+0im just going to say dingleberry before anyone else
    • woofers07, on 06/10/2008, -0/+3I don't know what the ***** snozzberries are but if they smell like smurf hugs, I want some.
  • borez, on 06/09/2008, -2/+10"She's coming over in a half hour "

    Fat chance with diggers
  • BOFH2, on 06/09/2008, -0/+6Use Vinegar to remove smells from you gym clothes. Learned this when I was a sophmore footbal player in HS when my mom refused to do my laundry.
  • ThatDustyGuy, on 06/10/2008, -0/+30Remember guys,

    Ammonia + Bleach = Chlorine Gas.

    Never mix them.
    • BlueSkyfish, on 06/10/2008, -0/+15Amonia + Iodine = explosives!
      • TheThirdLevel, on 06/10/2008, -1/+2Never mix pure Rubidium with water either. Heck, don't even expose it to air.
      • t0x2c, on 06/10/2008, -0/+3Ammonia and bleach? Real men use Isopropyl Alcohol and Chlorine Tablets (Sodium Hypochlorate)

        Way more Chlorine
      • ShugNinx21, on 06/10/2008, -0/+5Hahahaha! Lightweights!


        Oh wait, chlorine!
    • lebreezy, on 06/10/2008, -8/+1Amonia + Dick - You = Amonia.....Sorry I had to
    • RedHerringHack, on 06/10/2008, -1/+5Or is that "Always Mix Them". I forget.
    • FaithclubDotNet, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1Ammonia is what urine is mostly made up from. So if you're cleaning up animal waste or the toilet, do not use bleach.
      • xBDVx, on 06/10/2008, -0/+3uh...no. Urine is mostly water and urea (which contains nitrogen, but is nothing like ammonia). If you had ammonia coming out in your piss, that would burn like HELL.
    • xBDVx, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1You also can get rocket fuel if you mix in the right proportion. So kids, don't try this at home
  • bullcutter, on 06/10/2008, -4/+13uh, its way easier to just spend the $2 or $3 on a bottle of real cleaning *****, especially since it won't smell like piss.
  • mal1964, on 06/10/2008, -2/+56"She's coming over in a half hour and your place is a wreck"
    Whats the hurry she can clean it when she gets here.
    • AmericansRevolt, on 06/10/2008, -5/+1she can clean the apartment too
  • lisaawesome, on 06/10/2008, -0/+11And if you use these homemade cleaners you can tell your date it's because you care about the earth. Then you will get laid.
  • AlanFang, on 06/10/2008, -0/+4It's digg, how would anyone have a girlfriend?
    • Larsonal777, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1well... cus no one here will actually USE these... its all just talk... about what if.
  • tamzarian, on 06/10/2008, -3/+1Is this really on digg?

    Smells a bit like spam in here.
  • hollywoodphony, on 06/10/2008, -0/+28Awesome! Hey, welcome to my apartment. I just saved 30 cents and now my room smells like douche.
    • mal1964, on 06/10/2008, -0/+11At least the ass smell is gone.
      s/
    • hollywoodphony, on 06/10/2008, -0/+2You could have accomplished the same thing by just washing your moustache every once in a while.
  • jjk7288, on 06/10/2008, -1/+4Because, as we all know, vinegar makes for a wicked good smell.
  • greenlight2001, on 06/10/2008, -0/+6Best cleaner out there is Simple Green. Smells decent enough, cuts grease very well and can be cut with water for various other cleaning jobs. The coast guard uses on there boats because its actually safe for the environment. They even use it to clean birds after oil spills.
    • Larsonal777, on 06/10/2008, -1/+1Hey... GREENlight... i see your ploy... you... you're a simple green salesman aaaaaren't you... AREN'T you!
      • greenlight2001, on 06/10/2008, -1/+1I see YOU are trying to sell boeing airplanes! It's SOOOO obvious by your username...

        /lame
        • Larsonal777, on 06/10/2008, -1/+1well Boeing IS the world's leading aerospace company and the largest manufacturer of commercial jetliners and military aircraft combined. They also have a long tradition of aerospace leadership and innovation!
        • greenlight2001, on 06/10/2008, -1/+2Really? I have to admit, you have me a little interested now. Got any brochures? HEY WAIT A MINUTE!
  • Olegovich, on 06/10/2008, -0/+8"Vinegar dissolves quickly and doesn't leave behind a smell."

    Fail.
  • agentep, on 06/10/2008, -0/+3I thought it read "gay survival chemistry -- make your own cleaners"
  • judicar, on 06/10/2008, -0/+4What could possibly go wrong? I hear mixing bleach and ammonia makes everything smell like bubble gum.


  • edelay, on 06/10/2008, -0/+14Here is another quick solution to clean up before the big date.
    - 1 2 litre bottle of diet pepsi
    - 1 package of mentos

    Insert the mentos into the bottle, then shake. :-)
  • johnmcd, on 06/10/2008, -1/+1Wait, The ingredients are baking soda and vinegar?
    This guy is not smarter than a fifth grader.
    • gdehms, on 06/10/2008, -0/+2Read the article.. baking soda isn't even mentioned
      • ReelVideo, on 06/10/2008, -0/+2It mentions it in the second paragraph, but it never says how to apply it.
    • johnmcd, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1"Using only three main ingredients: water, baking soda and white vinegar, you can cook up some homemade cleaners that'll get your place back to date-shape before she shows up. And for a helluva lot less than the cleaners you buy in..."

      Obviously I read the article, baking soda is mentioned.
      • Larsonal777, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1thats the discription num nuts... read the ARTICLE! No where does it say to mix the two.
  • TheGuruStud, on 06/10/2008, -1/+2Pure bleach owns all. I clean with it almost exclusively :)
  • darkfish, on 06/10/2008, -0/+13TFA had just one mention of baking soda with no mention of uses. Here is a *fun* recipe to try:

    "Enhanced" cleaner"
    1 cup white vinegar
    1 cup baking soda

    There is no need for a spray bottle. The results will spray your room clean automatically.
  • lebreezy, on 06/10/2008, -0/+2WTF... "using only 3 main ingredients" my ass....Just buy a bottle of Mr. Clean, it works on everything
  • lead2thehead, on 06/10/2008, -1/+1Anyone who is too lazy to buy a $4 bottle of household cleaner is sure as hell not going to make his own.
    • onelikeseabass, on 06/10/2008, -0/+6It's not about being lazy. It's about saving money when a lot of people out there don't have much.
  • RogueMountie, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1Also fun: mixing various cleaning products together.
  • senatorpjt, on 06/10/2008, -0/+8What bachelor has baking soda or vinegar? I clean with chloroform.
  • RationalXubrnce, on 06/10/2008, -0/+8
    The reason guys don't clean is not because they don't know what to use.
    • laughandsing, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1Or it could be the fact that they're too lazy.
  • quail20, on 06/10/2008, -0/+0You can clean with that stuff, but if it's a greasy and old mess it will take you awhile. That's the reason chemists came up with store brand cleaners. They do the job quicker than those vinegar recipes. To save money just buy the concentrates in the janitorial aisle of Home Depot and mix according to the label.
  • aserer511, on 06/10/2008, -0/+3favorited for those mysterious stans that end up on my dorm room carpet.
  • DNABeast, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1"You can use old motor oil to fertilize your lawn."
  • Sumudu, on 06/10/2008, -0/+0Is it just me, or does this guy say "dissolve" when he means "evaporate?"

    The article makes more sense assuming that, but my opinion of the author has definitely plummeted.
  • mparker7410, on 06/10/2008, -0/+2"All Purpose Cleaning Solution:
    1 cup Vinegar
    1 cup Water
    1 spray bottle"

    Yes, wipe down your entire apartment with this all purpose cleaner if you'd like your place to smell like balls.
  • ChasingAmyJ, on 06/10/2008, -0/+2Try pouring coca-cola on dirty dishes in the sink before washing them. I accidentally did, it breaks up those hard bits and pieces of food that you have to scrape off. Toxic stuff!
  • Chuu, on 06/10/2008, -0/+1One big problem with the list - never use food oils for furniture polish.

    What ends up happening is the oil seeps into the wood -- will eventually rot -- and then turns black. Even some mineral oils will do this over time as they oxidize. Using oils for anything except a stain when dealing with wood is a big mistake -- except in very special cases (i.e. lemon oil for *UNTREATED* mahogany or ebony on guitars, which are already very dark woods).
  • charlietuna, on 06/10/2008, -1/+2The classic DIY chemistry book Henley's Formulary covers this and more.
    I got mine here http://www.lindsaybks.com/, though Amazon has it.
    http://www.amazon.com/Henleys-Formulas-Workshop-Ga ...
  • gamben0, on 06/10/2008, -0/+2It takes less effort to go to the nearest store and spend a whopping 2 dollars on a can of real cleaner. C'mon, no one is this effing broke or they wouldn't have a girlfriend in the first place.
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