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75 Skills Men Should Be Able to Do

esquire.com — A man can be expert in nothing, but he must be practiced in many things. Skills. You don't have to master them all at once. You simply have to collect and develop a certain number of skills as the years tick by. People count on you to come through. That's why you need these, to start.

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  • Apollyon0810, on 05/09/2008, -67/+17These are all really good. I don't know why it's not getting more diggs.
    • CTRaider, on 05/09/2008, -2/+41MrBabyMan revolt?
    • guydudeman, on 05/09/2008, -4/+9Here's a link to the printable version, which doesn't have the annoying flash ads: http://www.esquire.com/print-this/features/essenti ...
      • mciampa1214, on 05/09/2008, -4/+21what are these 'ads' you speak of?
        • guydudeman, on 05/09/2008, -9/+2When I brought up the page, an ad covered half of the first paragraph of the article. Maybe not for you I guess? Anyway, I always just think it's good practice to link to the printable version to avoid the ads and for quicker loading times. Don't you think so?
          • sephiroth965, on 05/09/2008, -5/+22Everyone here but you has Adblock plus. Welcome to digg.
          • KaneElson, on 05/09/2008, -10/+2No I don't think so, this person spent their time writing this information for your enjoyment and you are using their bandwidth, so the least you can do is indirectly support them through advertising.
          • MellerTime, on 05/09/2008, -0/+6@Kane yeah, but then they shot themselves in the foot with the annoying flash ads because they made more money off of them. If ads weren't intrusive, we wouldn't hate them enough to block them.
          • TheMidnight, on 05/09/2008, -1/+7At least it's on one ***** page.
        • celkin, on 05/09/2008, -9/+1/obligatory comment
    • jerrycurley, on 05/09/2008, -11/+27Because actually they all are ridiculously stupid, and you obviously are paid by Esquire?

      Most ofthese are the dumbest things and if ANYONE thinks that knowing how to do them makes you manly, then I feel VERY sorry for you. Oh, and #33 will get you thorwn out of any bar or pool hall. You DON'T make contact with the felt.
      • KaneElson, on 05/09/2008, -0/+5That is what I was thinking, I could just see him tearing it and getting hit with the repair fee.... Now that is manly.
        • nicko68, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1A real man could fix it himself.

          Or throw a good punch at the owner, steal his car keys and drive off.
      • willk281, on 05/09/2008, -1/+1we will find out very soon whether or not there is payola involved.
      • RobotBuddha, on 05/09/2008, -0/+3Glad to hear someome say it, those were horrible. Especially the very top, "Learn one liners that sound profound but actually mean nothing". That's just the level of appreciation a Representative democracy needs, right there.
      • subliminalurge, on 05/09/2008, -1/+1Most of them were ridiculous, but a few were spot on.

        Change your oil.
        Change a tire.
        Jump start a car.
        Build a campfire.

        Any man who calls AAA when he gets a flat is not someone I'd have any interest in hanging out with, or even having a conversation with, for that matter. (With an obvious exception for someone with a debilitating injury.)

        I would add:

        Plant a garden and have it grow.
        Cook meat ON a grill. (It's amazing how many people think that to "grill" means to "turn that expensive steak into a piece of burnt charcoal.)

        And most importantly: Be able to stand up for yourself without being an asshole about it.
    • RudeTurnip, on 05/09/2008, -4/+4Because it's fappery for the tools who read Esquire. Buried.
    • Aensland, on 05/09/2008, -3/+12Many are common sense, but some are cultural. Why would it matter knowing how to score a baseball game, if you live in some country which doesn't even play it? And some are questionable. Brand loyalty? Whatever for? If something's good, it's good, but there's no reason to stick with it if for some reason it isn't good anymore (car accessories comes to mind).
      • Gir53457, on 05/09/2008, -1/+2So if you're British or Pakistani then teach an American how to play cricket.
    • Goya, on 05/09/2008, -4/+22Because its pretentious dribble that talks down to the reader. I grill my steak because I want it that way, a chore is doing the dishes after. And really, know ONE band really well so you can drone on all night about Cobain's childhood hobbies?! Douche
    • whataboutdave, on 05/09/2008, -4/+3My guess is that upwards of a dozen Diggers know how to tie a bow tie. Maybe six or more might give it a try.
      • MellerTime, on 05/09/2008, -2/+8And how many will ever attend an event where they *need* to tie a bow tie?
        • whataboutdave, on 05/09/2008, -1/+2Exactly my point. This article makes an unlikely Digg submission.
    • Hangly, on 05/09/2008, -0/+9As an inferior male I feel threatened by this list.
  • tatercakes, on 05/09/2008, -4/+141is it bad if you score less than two?
    • grahamvinyl, on 05/09/2008, -5/+33yes.
      • Stroggoth, on 05/09/2008, -1/+3I thought #3 was going to be: 3) Be Able to Compile a "Best List Evar" and post it to Digg.
      • known, on 05/09/2008, -1/+1No.
        You are a product of your environment. -- Clement Stone
    • rey1867, on 05/09/2008, -4/+29oui.
    • roseap, on 05/09/2008, -2/+52"15. Calculate square footage" Please tell me that's the one you got.
      • albinorhino101, on 05/09/2008, -6/+2Well, we know it was #22
      • Solis, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1I'm lucky if I can add. Anything more complex than that would give me a migrane.
    • afterthoughtCA, on 05/09/2008, -11/+5i think there are about 5 i can't do.
      • Hangly, on 05/09/2008, -3/+3Same here.
        I'm not going to learn to gamble though. I all probability I'll get addicted and it will destroy me.
    • Handcannons, on 05/09/2008, -3/+7"is it bad if you score less than two?" Not if you're a child.
    • albinorhino101, on 05/09/2008, -7/+1was = wasn't = FAIL :(
    • WolverineBlue, on 05/09/2008, -1/+32Read the title, it's bad if you score less than 75.
    • KaneElson, on 05/09/2008, -4/+14Yes, very. Some of these are just crap, but you should be able to do a lot of them....
      Make a bed, make a fire, calculate square footage, write a letter, sew a button etc.... They are just basic things that if you haven't had to do then you must live a very sheltered life. I am only 19 years old and I can do most of the things on the list.
      • noumuon, on 05/09/2008, -0/+12sew a button that lasts more than a day... now that takes a woman's touch. :P
        • Hangly, on 05/09/2008, -1/+7Not really. Just double the thread and make four or five passes. That or use the sewing machine button attachment and--

          Oh wait, you were joking?
      • bagboyrebel, on 05/09/2008, -2/+7sheltered life becuase none of the buttons on my shirt have fallen off yet?
    • mGARANDEUR1, on 05/09/2008, -0/+13I really don't think it is important if I don't know how to tie a bowtie. Knowing how to tie a tie is good enough.
      • Gir53457, on 05/09/2008, -0/+6I worked with children in the photography kiosk at a mall and had to wear a bow tie. When an infant sees a tie they immediately think "pull rope, see funny face."
    • TridenTBoy, on 05/09/2008, -5/+1Although I frown upon you I still think it's good you are not a generic "man".
    • Hangly, on 05/09/2008, -2/+3It really is pretty bad.
    • Zera, on 05/09/2008, -8/+9This list is really pretty much completely covered by Boy Scouts... at least the "real skills" on the list.

      The only 5 I don't have and don't want were:
      Know how to buy a suit - ***** it, that's what the douchebag salesman is for, lets face it, this is a guy who does this ALL DAY, he's gonna know alot more than me even if I meet esquire's ideal amount of knowledge on the topic (a small paragraph, apparently is enough)
      Know hot to tie a bowtie - I am NOT going to be caught dead wearing a damn bowtie, EVER, PERIOD.
      Play Gin? What's Gin have on the 15 more popular adult card games?
      Make a Drink in large batches? - Yea, because you just HAVE to drink liquor to be a man.
      Describe a glass of wine in one sentence - ***** THAT. Wine comes in two types. "*****", and "It's not bad"

      And I just have to wonder about this:

      "25. Drive an eightpenny nail into a treated two-by-four without thinking about it.
      Use a contractor's hammer. Swing hard and loose, like a tennis serve. "

      First of all, why would you use an 8 penny to go through a 2x4? Not enough of it will go through to be effective. 10 penny is what you need. Second this has GOT to be the WORST hammer swinging explanation I've ever heard:
      "Use a contractor's hammer. Swing hard and loose, like a tennis serve."

      WTF This author has never driven a nail, nor seen a real contractor swing one. You swing like a tennis serve in the movies, although this does make me laugh just to think of all the douchebags who will try to hit nail this way to "be a man" LOL, I hope they're wearing safety glasses.
      • TexMexMatt, on 05/09/2008, -4/+3A real man knows how to buy a suit and to drive a nail thru a 2x4. Why does it matter why you should do that? It doesn't. What matters is that you CAN do it (or actually have done it just for the pure hell of it. Driving nails in a board is fun :-) ) if you are a man.
        Bowtie? Come on, if you are wearing a tuxedo you got to have a bowtie and for some occasions you GOT TO wear a tuxedo.
        Play gin. Its not that hard you know.
        Yes you got drink liquor if you are a man or at least have done it. I swigged more bottles of Absolute Vodka (I am Swedish) than I can remember.
        Describing a wine other than "*****" is a challenge and real men are up for that challenge.

        This is about being a man, nothing else.
        I think I got almost a full score on all those points in the article. There are a few more things to do but I am only 38 and got a bunch of years left :-)
      • Orion682, on 05/09/2008, -2/+5You don't HAVE to drink hard liquor, but you should be able to without making a face imo at least.
    • Oppslagsverk, on 05/09/2008, -3/+7Sir, you are a lady.
    • JayD16, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1Well, I nailed the ones on physics at least...
    • queenstarsha, on 05/09/2008, -2/+6you are not very manly, it seems. i can do more than two (off the top of my head, give a woman an orgasm and hold a baby) and i have a vagina. i guess i have an advantage is the orgasm dept. i can also calc. square footage.
    • jwoelmer2, on 05/09/2008, -1/+1i don't think you need to worry much- women aren't considered men
    • corneliusJones, on 05/09/2008, -3/+3That just means it's time to hand in your balls. I'm sure you'll be fine, you clearly weren't using them.
  • willyummy69, on 05/09/2008, -25/+8Good read.
  • CTRaider, on 05/09/2008, -19/+63I disagree with #19. There are no woman out of my league. If I were to approach a gorgeous woman with any attitude other than that (along with some humor) she'll sniff you out a mile away. : P
    • jerrycurley, on 05/09/2008, -14/+169You are on Digg...EVERY woman is out of your league.
      • commenter01, on 05/09/2008, -3/+12sorry, jerry. i feel for you, if that is the standard you hold yourself up to.
      • wild, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1There are a few trolls in Warcraft that might appreciate him.
    • peaceninja, on 05/09/2008, -13/+19i'm proud to say i was able to do #19 last night. was out with friends, went up to a girl i didnt even know and asked her to dance to the next song, and the next song was actually a really bad song to dance to so we ended up talking to get to know each other and waited for a good song to come up.
      • jbham184, on 05/09/2008, -3/+17Congratulations.
      • Melun91, on 05/09/2008, -3/+14Really dude. I'm so happy for you.
        • vodkataime, on 05/09/2008, -2/+4Making diggers envious is not the best way to score diggs.
      • GrayvDigger, on 05/09/2008, -1/+2So what happened then??
      • Rhendal, on 05/09/2008, -0/+11And then you started talking about your Level 70 Blood Elf Paladin and she gave you a fake number.
        • belebih, on 05/09/2008, -0/+3If only it had been an 70 Orc Warrior, then she would've gone home with him for sure. You know what they say about men with huge shoulders.
    • mllawso, on 05/09/2008, -0/+78Once a woman (who I made the mistake of glancing at) told me she was out of my league. I asked her if it was because I don't want to spend $20 an hour.
      • DrGreenHat, on 05/09/2008, -0/+23nice
      • wild, on 05/09/2008, -2/+4The proper response to that (and any snarky comment is) "Yea, but I can always go try and talk to someone else. You'll always be ugly."
        • Metis2be, on 05/09/2008, -0/+3No sir, his was the proper response.
    • dougdiggerton, on 05/09/2008, -1/+10All you need is a little liquid confidence
      • KarthVader, on 05/09/2008, -1/+5I'll drink to that.
      • erbalot, on 05/09/2008, -1/+3Liquid courage?
      • BoneheadFarker, on 05/09/2008, -0/+0Powdered courage works better.
        • skyroket, on 05/09/2008, -0/+3lol there's always this guy.... why does he keep showing up?
        • cheeseplease, on 05/13/2008, -0/+0Dugg for truth.. alcohol doesn't help your confidence that much at all
    • BlueStreak69, on 05/09/2008, -2/+2I prefer the green confidence.
    • BGog, on 05/09/2008, -5/+9And I don't agree with #12. "Respect the following, in this order: age, experience, record, reputation...."
      WTF, why age? Respect is earned. I don't believe age plays any role. I know 60 year olds who are useless, irresponsible pricks who deserve no respect and I know 22 year olds (10 years younger than me) who I look up to. I don't get the 'respect your elders crap'. You do NOT automatically become wise or good or worthy just because you've aged.
      • Rhendal, on 05/09/2008, -2/+3You should. These are the people who "didn't do something stupid to get themselves killed." If you run across an elderly gentleman, then yes you should initially respect the guy. If he spits in your face, not so much then.
    • neko6, on 05/09/2008, -1/+5Only once in my life a girl told me I was out of league. I was completely in love with her, she was 18 and I was 16.
      Five years later, she tried to kiss me. I had a GF. Never talked to her again.

      Remember that things change, sometimes drastically.
      • Solis, on 05/09/2008, -1/+2*****. Things never change and if they do it's always for the worse.
        • skyroket, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1If you're like that girl that told him you are out of his league they evidently do change for the worse. Quit being so *****.
    • junkwheel, on 05/09/2008, -0/+2In Russia, every wealthy woman is out of your league.
  • Tamriel, on 05/09/2008, -3/+39#4 threw me off. How about score a bowling game?
  • DeskFlyer, on 05/09/2008, -5/+169Looks like I suck at being a man.
    • FatLoser, on 05/09/2008, -2/+17At least you have the "at being." Imagine how I feel :(
      • kevlarbaboon, on 05/09/2008, -10/+34probably like a fat loser, i'd guess.
        • kodek, on 05/09/2008, -5/+8Hehe. I guess I'm the only one who got that. (look at parent's user name)
        • alecks, on 05/09/2008, -0/+4I thought it was a gay reference... if you didn't have the "at being" part, then it'd just be "Looks like I suck ... a man"
    • sh4rkb1t3, on 05/09/2008, -18/+4Not really. A real man has the power to get other, lesser men to do the things he can't do himself. A real man avoids situations in which he is not adept in.
      • Smaulz, on 05/09/2008, -0/+19I used to have a boss like that. Worse excuse for a human being I've ever met. You two would get along great.
        • Jashobeam5, on 05/09/2008, -0/+4I think most people have had a boss like that before. They quickly become ex-bosses.
      • Melun91, on 05/09/2008, -8/+2@sh4rkb1t3, No, thats called a pussy-faggot. And nobody likes a pussy-faggot
      • belebih, on 05/09/2008, -0/+2You are mistaken, sir. The phrase you're looking for is "***** douchebag" not "real man".
    • toppgun, on 05/09/2008, -9/+4I score probably around 75% or higher of these and I'm only 18. I even learned how to tie a bowtie tonight because this reminded me to learn how. (I watched a youtube guide and figured it out from there). With my newfound skill I am going to wear a bowtie to school tomorrow instead of a regular tie. Biddies love that bowtie.
    • mGARANDEUR1, on 05/09/2008, -4/+20A REAL man stay home and plays video games all day.
    • foomojive, on 05/09/2008, -1/+6Screw this list. I'm gonna be me, not try to do a bunch of stuff i'm not interested in and act like I'm all slick because i know how to score a stupid baseball game from start to finish. Baseball is lame. I'm married and I wouldn't want a pretentious bitch who scoffs because i don't instantly order her just the right drink at a bar. These stuck up chicks can go find some evenly matched stuck up guys and they can go live their stuck up lives together for all I care.
      • corneliusJones, on 05/09/2008, -2/+3Hey buddy, why so defensive?
      • Zaleucus, on 05/09/2008, -1/+1While you will live your angry and spiteful life?
    • chrisdancy, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1I'm gay, so I guess I suck real men.
  • thelastcivilian, on 05/09/2008, -2/+44Let's just say that I'm glad it says "should" - it leaves some cushion.
  • Darren05, on 05/09/2008, -8/+98"When nobody has your back, you gotta move your back" - Great Quote.

    Well done Esquire a very amusing read and not loosely thrown together like some lists.
    • crapmatic, on 05/09/2008, -6/+6I gotta say that I don't really know what that quote means. I would have been in the hallway asking "wtf?" Then again, I'm not cut out for Esquire.
      • TexasJeff, on 05/09/2008, -1/+9Not that tough really; whenever you find yourself in a place where those who should stand by you don't, it time to find somewhere that people actually have honor.
        • barnett25, on 05/09/2008, -4/+1I thought it meant that if no one agrees with you, your probably wrong.
        • skyroket, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1"I thought it meant that if no one agrees with you, your probably wrong."
          Hey aren't you that guy that, when told to lead, follow, or get out of the way, you always get out of the way??
          • barnett25, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1I didn't say I thought it was right. Thats just how I interpreted that.
    • ScottMitchell, on 05/09/2008, -3/+1Knack, knack, pattywhack, give a dog a bone.
      • odganarb, on 05/09/2008, -0/+13Knick knack paddywhack, you nitwit.
    • kilworth, on 05/09/2008, -4/+2 .
  • bullcutter, on 05/09/2008, -7/+53question your own masculinity much?
    • bobmagoo, on 05/09/2008, -2/+4try to be well rounded much?

      Our culture is spewing out this generation of man boys that have no useful skills or qualities. They don't respect women, they have no class, and they think that getting wasted and playing video games is living the good life. I think it's time to grow up and embrace what it truly means to be a man. This list is by no means a checklist required for manhood, but rather a list of symptoms that may indicate a boy(or guy) has begun the transition out of the world of selfish immaturity towards being a contributing, or at the very least, interesting member of society.
      • bullcutter, on 05/09/2008, -4/+1"Our culture is spewing out this generation of man boys that have no useful skills or qualities."

        Your culture maybe, not mine.

        "I think it's time to grow up and embrace what it truly means to be a man."

        Uhhhhhh have fun playing with your ***** and balls, because that's all it "truly" takes to be a man.
    • Phyraxus, on 05/09/2008, -2/+6Seriously, what kind of douchebag has to chop down a tree to show he is a man? It can't even fight back.
      • bobmagoo, on 05/09/2008, -4/+2clearly you've never seen lord of the rings
  • Premier, on 05/09/2008, -54/+147Dumb list, I'll take my 3 minutes back now
    • MuskokasFinest, on 05/09/2008, -1/+36It was a dumb list, but congrats for getting a "Top 75 List" onto one page, with descriptions and all.
      • jazzyinco, on 05/09/2008, -0/+4Yeah, if it was Forbes magazine, we'd be here all day clicking through pages.
      • barnett25, on 05/09/2008, -0/+2No kidding! I was expecting it to be spread out across 25 pages.
    • DMCer, on 05/09/2008, -3/+10The value is in the paragraphs, not the list itself. Consider learning to appreciate good writing (#76?).
      • Solis, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1When when I come across good writing I'll appreciate it.
    • Oppslagsverk, on 05/09/2008, -2/+9Wow, you are a fast reader.
    • paradigm1220, on 05/09/2008, -1/+8Might he be suggesting that not enough men appreciate the subtleties in life? Take a step out of the comfort zone and be open-minded about what this guy is suggesting. Is scoring a game of the American Pastime that outlandish? Take the opportunity to do it, you might even surprise yourself and learn something new.

      /soapbox
      • Solis, on 05/09/2008, -3/+5Baseball sucks and you can go ***** yourself.
        • skyroket, on 05/09/2008, -2/+2lol don't digg this guy down ... that was awesome. I don't agree with it, but it was still awesome and unexpected.
        • j3ffr0, on 05/09/2008, -2/+1lol please digg this guy down ...
      • j3ffr0, on 05/09/2008, -1/+1I didn't read the article.
    • j3ffr0, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1Coming soon --> More comments than diggs...
  • OffPiste, on 05/09/2008, -13/+86#76 Safely load/unload and reduce stoppage of any firearm below .75 caliber.
    • Samurai77, on 05/09/2008, -5/+22I was thinking the same thing.
    • Gerbil_Juice, on 05/09/2008, -9/+6Am I not a man for not being familiar with any guns (shotguns excluded) larger than a .45?
      • OffPiste, on 05/09/2008, -4/+9Black powder?
      • Jashobeam5, on 05/09/2008, -4/+30You're not a man until you have learned to prepare, load and fire a musket.
        • llamaguy132, on 05/09/2008, -0/+8cause its such a useful skill
        • lateralus, on 05/09/2008, -0/+15Don't even talk until you can prepare and launch a catapult or roll a burning log (not toilet humor).
        • mooseofshadows, on 05/09/2008, -0/+2The sad thing is I actually can build and launch a catapult...
      • TitanX13, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1good thing i know how to load and fire a musket and below.
        so i don't need to know how to load a 25 mm round
      • passedoutghost, on 05/09/2008, -1/+1I know how to load a cannon!

        In Battlefield Vietnam....
    • nyfael, on 05/09/2008, -4/+19Yeah, I was surprised at the lack of firearm mention.
      • TexasJeff, on 05/09/2008, -1/+10So was I, then I remembered that this was Esquire.
      • Goodanswer, on 05/09/2008, -2/+8Dont forget they really just want men to cut off their own balls and fall inline with what the system wants.
        How to properly use a firearm is critical. whether it is zombies or the next door neighbors yapping dog.
    • JustinTX, on 05/09/2008, -4/+22Can I substitute my firearm safety/marksmanship skill for that poetry crap?
      • lensman00, on 05/09/2008, -1/+6Sure, but either way this WWII vet is one up on you.
        "Ode to a Sten Gun"
        http://www.birminghamstories.co.uk/av_page.php?id= ...
      • catbeller, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1Only if you actually ***** your gun. Or use your gun to kill poets, thus getting rid of the men who will actually have a chance with women who like poetry rather than things that go boom and zoom.
        Eh, guns can help you eat in a pinch. Not saying its a useless skill. But shoot and write a poem after.
    • MuskokasFinest, on 05/09/2008, -19/+12I may be a minority on digg, but I was quite happy with there not being any mention about weapons. I think it would take quite a man to realize that he can solve problems with words and his bare hands, instead of using tools specifically designed for killing (hunting and target practice aside).
      • Aharoni, on 05/09/2008, -5/+25God damn hippies
        • MuskokasFinest, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1Either that or I'm Canadian...
      • zephyr42, on 05/09/2008, -1/+9It's always important to know how things work, I don't care if you love or hate guns. The technology and the mechanics of them are fascinating.
      • allengeer, on 05/09/2008, -2/+8one day, god forbid, the whole world is going to go to ***** and the only thing that is going to stand between you and a group a crazed cannibals lusting for the meat on your bones is going to be a Baretta Silver Pidgeon and a box of 20 gauge shells.
        • nakani, on 05/09/2008, -2/+1.
        • mciampa1214, on 05/09/2008, -2/+2ironically - 20 gauge is widely known as a 'womans gun'
        • somedirtbag, on 05/09/2008, -1/+2It's Beretta, BTW.
          And for me, it would be two M1911A1 .45's, one under each arm or on each hip.
          • allengeer, on 05/09/2008, -1/+1its also Pigeon but i mean who cares.
      • DrunkenMick, on 05/09/2008, -2/+4Yeah until that crazed crackhead breaks into your house hellbent on raping your dog. Perhaps you as well. I'll bet you wish you had a gun then you god damned hippie.
      • stonedthot, on 05/09/2008, -5/+2Guns are for pussies. OOOhh suddenly I'm a big man because I can move my finger 2 cm and kill something. Yeah well ***** done. Unless its war, guns are for cowards. Though i'm sure my many hours of duck hunt and resident evil will stand me in good stead come the zombie/duck invasion
        • corneliusJones, on 05/09/2008, -2/+4Guns are perhaps the most powerful tools invented by man. But you don't need to know how to use one, because those who do know will be telling you what to do.
          • stonedthot, on 05/09/2008, -2/+1You talking about the rapture or something? Strange little fantasy those religious fanatics have I must say (not that i'm saying you are one) I never am sure when this occasion is supposed to occur that all society will break down and gun-toting yanks are going to run the world. Though I guess the latter ain't too far off the truth.
        • WarMachineWCLH, on 05/09/2008, -1/+8The fact that you assume it has anything to do with the desire to be a big man says more about you then it ever will about any actual gun owner.

          Also, shooting a gun accurately and precisely (and they aren't the same thing when refering to a gun) requires more skill than you or most people seem to realize. It really isn't as easy as moving your finger 2cm. If you don't believe me I'd me more than happy to take you to a shooting range and show you.
          • stonedthot, on 05/09/2008, -2/+1As a matter of fact i have gone clay pigeon shooting and got 10 out of 10 first time and fired an Ak47 at a target pretty damn accuratelyin latvia, though I realise that is hardly the same as shooting a tin can from 500 yards i'm sure i'd handle myself fine with some practice.

            I live in Scotland, and my point is more about those that carry guns on the street not going to a shooting range or hunting, which i'm sure is fun.
            Its about the guy that is afraid of getting in a real fight in the street, and carries a gun out of fear and ends up killing someone rather than just getting in a punch up. That's the coward i'm talking about. The same goes for knives, but guns take it a step further. I guess maybe you didn't get my point because there is a different gun culture in USA from here. Here guns are only ever really heard about when its inner city violence and it usually ends in innocent kids getting shot. From what i've heard USA is about 10 times worse, due to... more guns

          • WarMachineWCLH, on 05/10/2008, -1/+2It seems to be you're talking about criminals then and not law abiding gun owning citizens. Next time you need to make that more clear. Making guns illegal doesn't stop criminals from getting guns, it just stops me from being able to go to the shooting range so I can kill the ever present threat presented by paper targets.

            And America doesn't have more violent crime because of more guns. Correlation doesn't equal causation. Canada has more guns per person than the US and it doesn't have as much violent crime. (Though it still has it's share) There's other factors at play, no single one point but as is always the case there is a spike in violent crime in larger cities and low income neighborhoods which has a lot to do with a lack of proper education but it's certainly not the single cause. I'm reminded of this quote;
            "25 States allow anyone to buy a gun, strap it on, and walk down the street with no permit of any kind: some say it's crazy. However, 4 out of 5 US murders are committed in the other half of the country."
          • stonedthot, on 05/13/2008, -0/+1Canada has about 30 guns per 100 people, USA has 90 per 100 as of August 2007 http://www.commondreams.org/archive/2007/08/28/347 ... I understand your point though I don't entirely agree. However, maybe you should check your facts before making spurious claims.
            I don't think hunting rifles are a problem, but hand guns are asking for trouble. And yes I know guns don't kill people, people do, but mixing poor education, poverty and freely available firearms just doesn't seem like a very good idea.
            "But hey that's just like my opinion man"
      • barnett25, on 05/09/2008, -1/+5Maybe I have just watched too many movies, but I believe it is possible that at some point in my life society could collapse, if only for a short period. Whether due to a well executed terrorist attack, or a nuke from a hostile country. It could happen, and the people that feel that they should only have the skills necessary for the civilized life they live now will either go hungry, or be attacked by desperate people. I personally feel better being prepared to protect and feed my family in dire circumstances.

        Plus target shooting is a lot of fun once you get over the fear of firearms (but still retain a healthy respect for what they can do).
      • Largent, on 05/09/2008, -1/+2Did you read the one about knowing how to throw a punch, or kick ass? see above: "God damn hippies"
    • kertong, on 05/09/2008, -1/+10#77 - Shave with a straight razor. There is something to be said about having the luxury of a good, clean, and satisfying shave.
      • thescimitar, on 05/09/2008, -1/+3I shave every Monday morning with a straight razor, my great grandfather's straight razor (which is still sharp, and still polished, after a century of use). I think that, besides the aesthetics of using a straight razor, you honor the heritage of your forefathers, who did a lot more with a lot less.
        • kertong, on 05/09/2008, -0/+2I agree. More and more, it's becoming a lost art. Not many know how to properly strop the blade, or even shave with one. This is something I will be sure to pass down to my son, and hopefully he will do the same.
        • catbeller, on 05/09/2008, -0/+2And that razor was made once, and used for a century, while the nation went on to make and dump hundreds of billions of tiny razor-cum-plastic garbage into landfills and the oceans. For those green-y types, take it back to basics. Clothes that last, cities you can walk to work in, razors that last for generations. Maybe hey, *I* should actually try it. Thanks.
          • kertong, on 05/10/2008, -0/+1Yup. Who needs 4 gimpy diamond tipped blades that last hardly 2 weeks, when all you need is one good hollow ground, carbon steel blade that will likely outlive you if you take care of it right!
        • Metis2be, on 05/10/2008, -0/+3From a woman's perspective, there's something sexy about a man who can rake a real blade against his face and not get cut.

          There's something infinitely more sexy in being able to kiss a man and not having to worry about my face being rubbed raw.
    • opmike, on 05/09/2008, -3/+20Every man should be able to field strip common firearms: 1911, Glock, Sig, HK, AR, AK, 870, etc. We don't need your ignorant ass asking a bunch of time consuming questions when the zombie apocalypse breaks out and we're all trapped in grimy cellars with only a single bottle of CLP and tarnished, mil-spec ball ammo.
    • sk11, on 05/09/2008, -2/+3You can tell this list was tailor made for American men only.
      • Solis, on 05/09/2008, -0/+4I'm an American man, sure as ***** not tailored for me.
  • SportsViewer, on 05/09/2008, -19/+3I know what 76 should be.... Giggity Giggity!
  • mimigins, on 05/09/2008, -3/+27Sew a button.
    • nyfael, on 05/09/2008, -1/+13Surprisingly helpful.
      • horscategorie, on 05/09/2008, -0/+3Surprisingly helpful, extremely easy, saves a lot of money and time, can get you out of potentially embarrassing situations.
    • desertDenizen, on 05/09/2008, -1/+24I once sewed on a button while waiting in an airport. An older woman noticed, came over, introduced herself, and said that a man who could sew on his own button was the kind of man her daughter should meet, and offered to set it up. Curious about this notion, as an experiment, I sewed on a button while waiting during the return portion of my trip. Nobody said anything, but it was VERY clear that women were taking notice. So, not a bad prop.
  • ProjectGSX, on 05/09/2008, -48/+107This list is retarded. "4. Score a baseball game." Gee, yeah, thats really ***** important. Apparently this author is concerned about the size of his package.
    • hansk, on 05/09/2008, -2/+4i clicked on 'more about the author' and it didn't work. it reads like a compilation of fantasy lists girls make up when dreaming of the "perfect guy."
    • JoeOfParma, on 05/09/2008, -3/+2No one's saying any of these are important, per se; if you want to know how to do your job and nothing else, I'm sure the author would be fine with that. But to suggest that baseball isn't important to have some cultural knowledge about in a social situation is pretty ***** stupid.
      • Solis, on 05/09/2008, -2/+2No *****, baseball is pretty ***** stupid. As are all sports.
        • BrPyne, on 05/09/2008, -1/+2Sports aren't stupid, take that back.
    • BoneheadFarker, on 05/09/2008, -2/+0I think the actual sport is less important then knowing exactly what's going on in the game. I can barely keep track of a baseball game, I have no clue what's going on in a football game, but put me in front of a hockey game and I can tell you everything that's going on.
      • foofighter828, on 05/09/2008, -1/+1soccer with sticks and skates?
    • skyroket, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1http://www.southparkstudios.com/clips/155927
  • jerrycurley, on 05/09/2008, -40/+233Another one of those articles written by someone who thinks that they are real men because they can do stupid things that they consider to be manly.

    The sad part is that there are actually people who believe this *****.

    And I'm soory..but score a baseball game? Is this what every MAN should do, or every 10 year old boy?
    • yojiffyskippy, on 05/09/2008, -10/+34The sad part is that there are actually people who get angry about this *****. Lighten up Francis. It doesn't really make you an more or less of a man if you can't do any of the items on the list.
    • ph1sh55, on 05/09/2008, -3/+11hey now calm down. I think you need to take a step back and relax, score a baseball game, whatever- a magazine article shouldn't be a source of anger.
      • Solis, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1Everything is a source of anger. That's what happens when life sucks.
    • noumuon, on 05/09/2008, -1/+10$20 says tom's really a moniker for a woman.
    • danomagnum, on 05/09/2008, -1/+16I kinda got the impression it was written by a woman.
      • Mikhail101, on 05/09/2008, -1/+15yea especially about the part of giving a woman an orgasm, what knid of man cares about that
        • jessethouin, on 05/09/2008, -2/+1The kind of man with 5 children.

          And, yes, every time. Each and every time.
        • Metis2be, on 05/10/2008, -0/+1The kind who wants to be able to sleep with her a second time.
    • Ikulus, on 05/09/2008, -2/+11I agree that the baseball scoring is a dumb point and shouldn't be on the list.

      That said, there are many useful points you should be focusing on, instead of the odd stupid one here and there.
      • jerrycurley, on 05/09/2008, -1/+3The "odd stupid ones" were the majority of the list.
    • yourfoxygrandma, on 05/09/2008, -1/+2You're missing the point. Lighten up.
    • Xander512, on 05/10/2008, -0/+1No one ACTUALLY believes you have to do this to be a man, and i guarantee you that the majority of people don't take this list seriously at all besides some negative and bitter Digg users like yourself.
      And he's not even trying to say you have to do all this stuff to be a man - its just a lighthearted list about some things he personally thinks men should do / know...... so relax
  • amdforever, on 05/09/2008, -19/+3All you need is OGC.
  • leontes, on 05/09/2008, -3/+16oh come on.
  • abovetheneck, on 05/09/2008, -6/+145Call me old fashioned, but I like to "have" skills or "obtain" them, not "be able to do" them.
  • xeocube, on 05/09/2008, -3/+132How about grammar, is that a skill men should be able to do?
  • babydick, on 05/09/2008, -16/+7This is *****.
    • rabidg00se, on 05/09/2008, -0/+16And this is six asterisks: ******
    • BedPost, on 05/09/2008, -1/+5You put in 5 stars. I can't think of a 5 letter word that grammatically fits that you would feel the need to censor! This is infuriating! I most know, what is it?!
    • bdbr, on 05/09/2008, -1/+6If you think its *****, call it *****. Be a man.

      Then again, you were the one who picked "babydick" as a moniker.
    • SteelFrog, on 05/09/2008, -0/+3SPARTA! *Kick*
  • Skanadian, on 05/09/2008, -19/+13375 skills men should be able to do if you're insecure about your manliness.
    • dougdiggerton, on 05/09/2008, -0/+2#1. BJ's
    • odganarb, on 05/09/2008, -3/+1dugg for the name Skanadian. That's awesome.
      • skyroket, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1lol are you going to friend him and follow him around and digg all his comments???
    • cstegner, on 05/09/2008, -1/+2Covers topics both traditionally manly and unmanly. Not sure what male insecure in his masculinity prides himself on being able to "Tell a woman's dress size".

      Blame it on being for insecure men, rather then admitting your too lazy or scared to try something new. That should serve you well throughout your life, good luck.
      • skyroket, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1Saying anything about a woman's dress size usually puts you in a bad position...even if you're accurate, they can probably drum something up to get ***** about.
  • CandidateZero, on 05/09/2008, -6/+42Please, Esquire, give me a numbered list so know how to be a real man!
  • MasterTroll, on 05/09/2008, -7/+21This seems like a pointless list, in my opinion.
    • lik3n, on 05/09/2008, -1/+4QFT!
    • Rodalli, on 05/09/2008, -2/+4Agreed. This one has absolutely no meaning:

      "23. Be loyal. You will fail at it. You have already. A man who does not know loyalty, from both ends, does not know men. Loyalty is not a matter of give-and-take: He did me a favor, therefore I owe him one. No. No. No. It is the recognition of a bond, the honoring of a shared history, the reemergence of the vows we make in the tight times. It doesn't mean complete agreement or invisible blood ties. It is a currency of selflessness, given without expectation and capable of the most stellar return."

      Non-sensical, feel-good, Hallmark *****. I doubt the writer even knew what he was trying to say.
  • OffPiste, on 05/09/2008, -6/+42#55 is wrong.

    You need first to know if you're north or south of the equator. The techniques is different for each scenario.
    • WolverineBlue, on 05/09/2008, -1/+8And If you're on the equator you just need to know which way the Sun is moving.
    • Macgyrl64, on 05/09/2008, -11/+2Um......North is always North and South is always South no matter where you are on the planet. Unless you're my sister and North is always up......*shaking head*
      • billbillbilly, on 05/09/2008, -1/+12correct, however the two hemispheres view the sun from opposite angles
    • LuxFX, on 05/09/2008, -0/+4There was one more item, I think the one about finding your way out of the woods, that assumed northern hemisphere.
    • bdbr, on 05/09/2008, -0/+35If you don't even know which side of the equator you're on, you're probably too damned lost for it to even matter which way is north.
    • Ikulus, on 05/09/2008, -2/+24Real men don't leave American soil.
      • odganarb, on 05/09/2008, -0/+16Unless it's to kill Nazi's or Commies.

        (Not kidding.)
      • contortpiezo, on 05/09/2008, -0/+2Or to deliver freedom to dictatorships!
    • duggdowncatisad, on 05/09/2008, -0/+3Even worse, this technique can be wrong anywhere south of the Tropic of Cancer (if it's June 21 and you're on a cruise ship crossing the Panama Canal, the sun is to the north for example). It's also pretty useless if you go too far north. This one is fine as long as the world stops at the USA border.
  • Nhmarine, on 05/09/2008, -29/+44Just because I am male I am required to know this *****? "Cooking somewhere other than a grill." I can't cook on a grill, but I can cook on a microwave. Does that emasculate me? I never keep miniscule score of baseball games. "Oops, I forgot to write down that Ramirez had an error.... What number is the catcher again?" Does that emasculate me? This is propaganda designed to make people who aren't the burly Manly Men who smoke Laramies and wear cowboy hats and drive pickup trucks that are ten feet off the ground feel like they are doing less than they should be. ***** you, ***** you indeed.
    • Hetman, on 05/09/2008, -10/+41Thats a bit of an overreaction to any list.
    • yojiffyskippy, on 05/09/2008, -4/+25It sounds like you have plenty other more important "issues" to deal with before addressing your masculinity.
    • Melun91, on 05/09/2008, -2/+19Wow. All I have to say to that is can you please teach me how to cook on a microwave.
    • etnuts, on 05/09/2008, -7/+4chill man just coz you cant do some of these stuff doesn't mean your not a man
      wait you are man right?
    • Aharoni, on 05/09/2008, -2/+5The list in itself is very... American. Baseball? come on... nobody gives a rat's ass about baseball outside of the US.
      • ISurfTooMuch, on 05/09/2008, -1/+6The Japanese are pretty enthusiastic about baseball as well. They have their own pro leagues there.
      • foofighter828, on 05/09/2008, -0/+2Latin America.
      • Solis, on 05/09/2008, -4/+1Anyone who gives a rats ass about baseball in America is ***** idiot.
    • hansk, on 05/09/2008, -4/+3He's not overreacting, this list is retarded and insulting. I'd expect women would be insulted if a list came out saying "real women know how to sew, cook...(which they did, in the 1950s, but gender role lists should have died in that era)" or some ***** like that.
    • TripcodeMel, on 05/09/2008, -2/+14Shut up, you pussy.
    • Ravatar, on 05/09/2008, -1/+5So wait, you can't cook on a grill?

      o.0
    • somedirtbag, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1Real men smoke Lucky Strikes, unfiltered.
      • sykotik, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1I personally indulge in Pall Mall unfiltered, problem is, they cost more than the filtered ones.
        Go figure...
  • lik3n, on 05/09/2008, -3/+24Rilo Kiley didn't break up. They just released a new album.

    Also, buried for being totally useless.
    • JonahB52, on 05/09/2008, -1/+3Yeah! Rilo Kiley is coming here next week!
    • smartcause, on 05/09/2008, -0/+5Well, they kinda did...his facts are just out of date. While they didn't officially call it quits, when Jenny Lewis (lead singer) and Blake Sennett (lead guitar) broke up, they each decided to pursue solo careers and weren't planning on doing any more Rilo Kiley albums. She released "Rabbit Fur Coat" with the Watson Twins and he released "Sun, Sun, Sun" with the Elected. He even wrote the song "The Bank and Trust" about her. It had lyrics like "Well, she gets real mean when she's drunk / And she finally fell asleep, and I'm glad / She said, 'The only way you got as far as you did / Is 'cause of me. Your songs suck'"

      With trash talking like that, it really looked like they were broken up. But I don't think either album was very successful (although his was actually good), so with a couple of years to calm down and a big new record deal with Warner Bros (they had been on indie labels like Brute/Beaute and Barsuk before), they got back together and did a new CD.

      Hey look at that, I'm on my way to accomplishing #6. Except for he said NOT to pick Rilo Kiley...ah crap.
      • it5five, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1Blake is a douchebag and his album was boring. When I saw them live during their More Adventurous tour, he got ***** off at one of their roadies for forgetting to tune one of the guitars. Rather than do it himself in about 10 seconds, he brought the guy out on stage and talked ***** on him.

        Jenny's album was way better than his. Plus she is hot and not a complete asshole like Blake.
        • adamh227, on 05/09/2008, -0/+2I dig The Elected, but Jenny's was better. I'd say both albums were better than Under The Blacklight.
    • fletcherrr, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1woooooosh...
  • kmg9000, on 05/09/2008, -0/+33075 All on one page, Yet some sites still can't have a list of 10 things on one page
    • KaneElson, on 05/09/2008, -0/+34Best thing about this list.
    • LanceWindu, on 05/09/2008, -0/+11Those other sites are only in it for the ad money. ***** me right the ***** off.
  • gelgels, on 05/09/2008, -4/+60As a gal, I have to say the carressing a girl's back is a fab thing to know.
    • KaneElson, on 05/09/2008, -2/+11Don't tell me you think most of these things actually make someone 'Manly' though.
      • Jashobeam5, on 05/09/2008, -6/+10I hate to burst the bubble for so many guys on this site, but yeah, most men I know can do at least 1/2 of the things on this list. I was shocked there are men who can't do at least 1/4 of the things on this list. Where are you guys from? Didn't your dads teach you how to build a fire, score a baseball game, jump start a car and throw a punch?
        • Melun91, on 05/09/2008, -0/+19Unfortunately, not everyone in the world is a die-hard baseball fan.
        • metaliq, on 05/09/2008, -0/+20Or has a father.
        • Solis, on 05/09/2008, -4/+2I probably can't do a single thing on this list, I didn't have a father, couldn't care less about sports. Why and when the ***** would I ever need to build a fire? And why would I have ever needed to be in a fight? You are ***** scum.
        • skyroket, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1"You are ***** scum."
          I don't think Jashobeam5 is scum. He's just pointing out that most men he knows know how to do most of this *****... you should direct your angst at the author of the article, man....man....

          Building a fire is cool. Haven't you ever seen that Tom Hanks one when he got stranded on the island? "LOOK WHAT I HAVE CREATED!!!" Badass.
        • DharmaTurtle, on 05/10/2008, -0/+1My dad is an Asian with a capital A.

          Sighs... he also lives about 7 states away. I had to learn manly things from scratch. In a house with only three other women, ulgh.
    • wickensworth, on 05/09/2008, -2/+37I'm sorry, who allowed a girl to enter into this discussion?
    • hlehmann, on 05/09/2008, -7/+47Go iron my shirt.
      • johnmatias, on 05/09/2008, -3/+7lol... I know it's wrong but it's still ***** funny...
    • novask, on 05/09/2008, -0/+34When I try they always end up charging me with sexual harassment.
    • fdsarawr, on 05/09/2008, -5/+43As a guy, I'd have to say carressing my ***** with your mouth is a fab thing for you to know.
    • ISurfTooMuch, on 05/09/2008, -2/+5From experience, I can tell you that gelgels is right. Women LOVE a good neck and back rub. Let's just say that, if you master this skill, it can be the gateway to other activities.

      I also have to agree with the one about dating out of your league. In truth, we should never see someone as out of our league, but we often do. Once you realize that you can walk up to anyone, then you gain confidence, and confidence is key to dating anyone. If you act unsure of yourself or, God forbid, desperate, women will pick up on that, and you've already got two strikes against you. Confidence, in the long run, brings success, and that creates more confidence. Believe me, it took me years to figure this out, but it works.
      • DeadSkinMask, on 05/09/2008, -1/+8"Let's just say that, if you master this skill, it can be the gateway to other activities."

        Please explain. I don't understand what you are eluding to.
      • Solis, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1How exactly does someone get confidence in the first place?
        • ISurfTooMuch, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1Sometimes you have to fake it. It's one of those "leap of faith" things. You make yourself understand that it will work, and you force yourself to stay calm.

          And this leads me to my next observation: it's much easier to meet a woman who is introduced to you by a mutual friend. Not only is it easier because the friend helps with the introduction, but it's easier because both you and the woman have some assurance that you aren't being set up with some nutcase, and that takes a little pressure off. Of all the relationships I've been in, the ones that worked out best have all been setups, and all the ones where I ended up getting involved with a psycho were the ones where I just met someone without being introduced. BTW, I had this discussion with my wife, and she agrees with me. Setups just seem to have a better chance of working out.
  • frank26080115, on 05/09/2008, -12/+601. Give advice that matters in one sentence.
    2. Tell if someone is lying.
    3. Take a photo.
    4. Score a baseball game.
    5. Name a book that matters.
    6. Know at least one musical group as well as is possible.
    7. Cook meat somewhere other than the grill.
    8. Not monopolize the conversation.
    9. Write a letter.
    10. Buy a suit.
    11. Swim three different strokes.
    12. Show respect without being a suck-up.
    13. Throw a punch.
    14. Chop down a tree.
    15. Calculate square footage.
    16. Tie a bow tie.
    17. Make one drink, in large batches, very well.
    18. Speak a foreign language.
    19. Approach a woman out of his league.
    20. Sew a button.
    21. Argue with a European without getting xenophobic or insulting soccer.
    22. Give a woman an orgasm so that he doesn't have to ask after it.
    23. Be loyal.
    24. Know his poison, without standing there, pondering like a dope.
    25. Drive an eightpenny nail into a treated two-by-four without thinking about it.
    26. Cast a fishing rod without shrieking or sighing or otherwise admitting defeat.
    27. Play gin with an old guy.
    28. Play go fish with a kid.
    29. Understand quantum physics well enough that he can accept that a quarter might, at some point, pass straight through the table when dropped.
    30. Feign interest.
    31. Make a bed.
    32. Describe a glass of wine in one sentence without using the terms nutty, fruity, oaky, finish, or kick.
    33. Hit a jump shot in pool.
    34. Dress a wound.
    35. Jump-start a car (without any drama). Change a flat tire (safely). Change the oil (once).
    36. Make three different bets at a craps table.
    37. Shuffle a deck of cards.
    38. Tell a joke.
    39. Know when to split his cards in blackjack.
    40. Speak to an eight-year-old so he will hear.
    41. Speak to a waiter so he will hear.
    42. Talk to a dog so it will hear.
    43. Install: a disposal, an electronic thermostat, or a lighting fixture without asking for help.
    44. Ask for help.
    45. Break another man's grip on his wrist.
    46. Tell a woman's dress size.
    47. Recite one poem from memory.
    48. Remove a stain.
    49. Say no.
    50. Fry an egg sunny-side up.
    51. Build a campfire.
    52. Step into a job no one wants to do.
    53. Sometimes, kick some ass.
    54. Break up a fight.
    55. Point to the north at any time.
    56. Create a play-list in which ten seemingly random songs provide a secret message to one person.
    57. Explain what a light-year is.
    58. Avoid boredom.
    59. Write a thank-you note.
    60. Be brand loyal to at least one product.
    61. Cook bacon.
    62. Hold a baby.
    63. Deliver a eulogy.
    64. Know that Christopher Columbus was a son of a bitch.
    65-67. Throw a baseball over-hand with some snap. Throw a football with a tight spiral. Shoot a 12-foot jump shot reliably.
    68. Find his way out of the woods if lost.
    69. Tie a knot.
    70. Shake hands.
    71. Iron a shirt.
    72. Stock an emergency bag for the car.
    73. Caress a woman's neck.
    74. Know some birds.
    75. Negotiate a better price.
    • credential101, on 05/09/2008, -28/+4You know how I know your gay?
      Because you took all that time do put all 75 things into a comment.
      • DeskFlyer, on 05/09/2008, -3/+21His gay what?
      • noumuon, on 05/09/2008, -5/+3really? i would have figured it was 22. Give a woman an orgasm so that *he* doesn't have to ask after it.
        • Relikh, on 05/09/2008, -0/+5it means he doesn't have to ask her after sex if she had one
    • nyfael, on 05/09/2008, -1/+6DeskFlyer - good call.
    • radiofrequency, on 05/09/2008, -3/+6Shoot a gun (and hit what you're aiming at).
      Ride a horse.
    • db0255, on 05/09/2008, -0/+276. profit
  • bigpeeler, on 05/09/2008, -14/+154I swear that that list was written by a woman.
    • Hetman, on 05/09/2008, -2/+8A some things makes me wish it was written by a women. Well the first one is know how to keep score of a baseball game. A lot of people on this thread seem to be hating on that. I do not think it makes you less or more of a man if you can score a baseball game. But I really like baseball and keeping score. I would like a girl that liked baseball that much.
      • KaneElson, on 05/09/2008, -4/+4That is what the score-board is for; Real men are lazy.
    • fcruz1331, on 05/09/2008, -3/+8halfway down the list i had to go and check the authors name because i could swear it was a woman writing this
      • jerryterhorst, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1i checked it twice. i was considering googling to see if "Tom" could somehow be a woman's name. "I needed a white knight" and the one about the shoeshine guy were very ... femininely-written.
    • lauralyn, on 05/09/2008, -1/+17nay or "put the toilet seat down" would have entered the picture at some point
    • ubuwalker31, on 05/09/2008, -3/+13No, it was written by a boy scout. Seriously. IMHO, I think its a great list...but I was an Eagle.
      • KaneElson, on 05/09/2008, -13/+7Hahahahahahahahaha.... Sorry, I just couldn't believe someone actually admitted to being a boy scout.
        • Commonwealth, on 05/09/2008, -0/+15I was a Boy Scout and I hope my son joins as well.
        • Diggalicious3, on 05/09/2008, -0/+10I'm a Boy Scout, I made it to Eagle. Scouts is awesome, the only people I've heard say otherwise are roughly 13 years old.
          • mciampa1214, on 05/09/2008, -0/+2I'm also an Eagle, unfortunately it seems to be more highly regarded among older generations.
          • ubuwalker31, on 05/09/2008, -0/+2Being an Eagle is highly regarded by lots of adults, primarily others who have been involved in the Scouting movement, especially other Eagle Scouts. There are Eagle Scouts in many important and influential positions around the country. In fact, there is a National Eagle Scout Search currently on-going...you can call 1-866-753-3506 to register your information.
        • below413, on 05/09/2008, -0/+5Eagle is weighted as much as a varsity sport when applying to a lot of colleges.
      • brad77, on 05/09/2008, -0/+6Me too, and proud of it. I'd say the same if I met you in "real life."

        *edit*: this was for KaneElson
    • UtilityPole, on 05/09/2008, -0/+3All the more reason to listen to it.
    • xdra, on 05/09/2008, -3/+4If this was written by a woman, #1 would have been to learn to shut the ***** up and stop talking about yourselves- you're not as great as you think you are.
    • Utsazn, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1"I needed a white knight, and I knew it wasn't him." What kind of guy looks for a white knight. Author is either a woman or gay. Either way I'd say this list is reaching. I'd say 60 is relevant.
      • ubuwalker31, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1He meant a strong and valuable ally, who can give him good counsel. In other words, a buddy. He didn't mean it in the sense that he needed to be rescued. It is a poor choice of words though, IMHO.
    • belebih, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1Well apparently, judging by a few items on that list, real men are kind of gay (not that there's anything wrong with that).
  • kevlarbaboon, on 05/09/2008, -5/+27This is kind of dumb.

  • mooseontheloose, on 05/09/2008, -10/+128#76. Not give a ***** about lists like this
  • twertyto, on 05/09/2008, -9/+56Useless infomation if you live in the real world. Should say: 75 skills for men who live in romantic comedy movie land.
    • crapmatic, on 05/09/2008, -11/+6Yeah, only pussies need to know how to change a flat tire.
      • MellerTime, on 05/09/2008, -4/+7AAA, bitch.
        • Ravatar, on 05/09/2008, -0/+2And what happens when theyre not available, or your cell phone dies or is out of service, etc? Being able to rely on ones self in a variety of situations should be one of a person's most valued skills.
      • nakani, on 05/09/2008, -0/+3Knowing how to change your tire isn't about being manly, it's about not being an n00b
        • Jorin, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1Not being a n00b is pretty much the essence of being a grown man.
  • bratterscain, on 05/09/2008, -20/+11#76 Drive a big 4x4
    #77 Profess your love of watching men grab each other in skimpy outfits (wrestling)
    #78 If insecure, read lists on what you should do to be a man
  • jspania, on 05/09/2008, -3/+72You know, like nunchuku skills, bow hunting skills, computer hacking skills... Girls only want boyfriends who have great skills.
    • NOFXY, on 05/09/2008, -6/+3pfft.. how can people still misspell it?.. it's "numbchucks" damn... :)
    • quisph, on 05/09/2008, -1/+6Ok, thread's over. You win.
    • muffinkiller, on 05/09/2008, -1/+3i love those skills. AND i love guys that like star trek.
  • Pinkertinkle, on 05/09/2008, -6/+14I can't believe some person actually got paid real money to write up that stupid list.
  • gregthebunny, on 05/09/2008, -6/+7676. Don't let stupid magazine articles tell you how to be anything.
    • Relikh, on 05/09/2008, -3/+0you are the winner
    • williamlee, on 05/09/2008, -2/+0Amen.
    • Ravatar, on 05/09/2008, -1/+277. Don't let digg people tell you whether or not to let magazines tell you how to be anything.
  • DarkSenay, on 05/09/2008, -3/+32Dugg for all of it being on one page... Bravo fellas.
  • Barackalypse, on 05/09/2008, -10/+4Buried for presuming to tell me what I ought to be able to do. They should probably add "Mind your own damn business and leave others to live their lives as they see fit"
  • martian, on 05/09/2008, -2/+21#79 Use proper grammar.

    You don't "do" a skill.
    • Namaha, on 05/09/2008, -1/+1What are 76-78?
    • Weejay, on 05/09/2008, -2/+2HAHA, you beat me to that one. English is not my native language but that definitely sounds wrong...
  • Gonasadude, on 05/09/2008, -20/+28WTF? #22: Give a woman an orgasm so that HE doesn't have to ask after it. He? HE? ... Sorry. Not my kind of woman.
    • Namaha, on 05/09/2008, -0/+35I'm pretty sure the author meant that a man shouldn't have to ask a woman afterwards if she came.
      • Gonasadude, on 05/09/2008, -0/+12Makes more sense now. Thanks.
      • Marlon, on 05/09/2008, -1/+6I think he was busy having sex when he wrote it
        • johnmatias, on 05/09/2008, -0/+5That would help the lists creditability.
    • bdbr, on 05/09/2008, -1/+29Apparently there's supposed to be some other guy there, and you don't want him wondering what happened.
    • evi1, on 05/09/2008, -0/+2I have never had that problem myself.
  • DaviDTC, on 05/09/2008, -0/+32If this was on cracked.com it would be about 75 pages. Im sure they will put up their own version soon though.
    • passedoutghost, on 05/09/2008, -1/+1To be fair they always post 5 points per page.
  • jp12380, on 05/09/2008, -4/+7This is ridiculous.

    I have to be able to swim 3 different strokes and doggy paddle does not count? Screw that, I do not.
    • krnldmp, on 05/09/2008, -1/+10Tell ya what. If you fall overboard a boat and can make it to shore by yourself it doesn't matter how the f*CK you do it.
    • passedoutghost, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1I know one. Splashing the ***** around until help arrives.
  • LastDitchHero, on 05/09/2008, -3/+12Jack of all trades, master of none.....
    • Relikh, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1but always a crowd pleaser
    • NOFXY, on 05/09/2008, -0/+5specialists learn more and more about less and less until they know everything about nothing, while generalists learn less and less about more and more until they know nothing about everything.

      anyone know the source of this semi-quote?
      • amirbd, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1What, google couldn't hook you up with the source of that? I agree though, 'tis good. .. Sounds like something a professor would say, in passing, in a lecture.
  • hagfish70, on 05/09/2008, -8/+6Damn, I know how to do maybe 10 of these things... According to Esquire magazine, I'm not a man! Crap, better go leave my wife and 4 kids so they can replace me with someone who can meet all of those requirements.
    • yojiffyskippy, on 05/09/2008, -5/+10Dude, if you can only do 10 of these, you are not only not a man, you are also a pathetic excuse for a human being. COME ON! Shaking hands, talking to a kid, fry an egg, tie a knot, etc etc. More than 10 of these "skills" are easily mastered by a monkey. You really need to apply yourself.
      • hagfish70, on 05/09/2008, -4/+5You must be that monkey.
        • Melun91, on 05/09/2008, -3/+2And you must be that autistic guy who simply didn't come into this world with everything he needed to live a happy, normal life.
          • hagfish70, on 05/09/2008, -2/+5Right... I feel sorry for both of you. I mean learn how to take a joke, idiots.
    • queenstarsha, on 05/09/2008, -1/+2i can undoubtedly do 28 and i'm a chick. i hope your wife is at least satisfied in bed.
  • BabyWookie, on 05/09/2008, -26/+6Buried as "gay" for not including being able to handle a firearm of some sorts. Every man should be able to field-strip an AK-47.... blind-folded.
  • gryphon50, on 05/09/2008, -4/+17A real man does not need to refer to a list of what it takes to be a real man. He makes his own list or better yet, embodies it.
    • Badandy127, on 05/09/2008, -1/+1Someone took this a bit too seriously...
    • Jorin, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1Problem is some guys make lists like:

      Leave dishes on the counter for 10 days straight
      Create rats nest in bedroom
      Use deodorant sparingly
      Fawn after women in a supplicating and demeaning way

      A man who embodies this list isn't going too far.
  • fudged71, on 05/09/2008, -6/+80#57: Beat your dick like it owes you money

    HOLY *****
  • whatthefu, on 05/09/2008, -7/+71"60. Be brand loyal to at least one product."
    Why? That's silly.
    • RudeTurnip, on 05/09/2008, -2/+32So Esquire can sell ads for it, silly.
    • Xephyr, on 05/09/2008, -5/+19Apple?
    • Evolutuon, on 05/09/2008, -2/+8Digg?
    • yojiffyskippy, on 05/09/2008, -2/+14What if that brand was Summer's Eve or Martha Stewart Living? Would that still qualify?
    • johnmatias, on 05/09/2008, -1/+6Jack Daniels. DONE.
      • Berkana, on 05/09/2008, -1/+1Knob Creek > Jack Daniels
        • somedirtbag, on 05/09/2008, -0/+2Woodford Reserve > Knob > Jack
          • RudeTurnip, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1Blanton's Single Barrel Reserve > Woodford Reserve > Knob > Jack
          • db0255, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1Captain Morgan > all of the above
    • amirbd, on 05/09/2008, -0/+4Jack Daniels indeed. But, no, honestly there is a decent point made. It's not about being brand-loyal in some corporate douche/shill/whore kind of way. It's about being quirky. The same way you'd be weird about your hometown team, no matter how worthless they are. It's about that other number, loyalty. Chicks dig loyalty.
      • jessethouin, on 05/09/2008, -0/+2Cincy Bengals fan here. Point made.
        • somedirtbag, on 05/09/2008, -0/+1Dugg, sir. It's been a tough two decades to be a Bengals fan. ***** fair-weather fans. WHO DEY, BITCHES!!
    • DeadSkinMask, on 05/09/2008, -1/+1Chevy Guy, right here.
    • passedoutghost, on 05/09/2008, -0/+2Your mum?
    • jnosanov, on 05/09/2008, -1/+1It's about being able to say "I'm a burma shave guy" or something similar that expresses the ability to make a choice and the confidence to stick with it.
  • DraggingTheLake, on 05/09/2008, -0/+31There are few things more embarassing than wandering around a parking lot trying to find another man to help me change my flat tire.
    • Commonwealth, on 05/09/2008, -1/+13I think the AAA payments are well worth avoiding this situation.
      • amirbd, on 05/09/2008, -0/+6Yeah, but it's a waste of an hour waiting for them to arrive when you have all the tools and the spare tire in your trunk. Imagine you were driving on a date and this happens. Either you say, "OMG! Time to call AAA and wait an hour for a burly tow-truck driver to come help fix this!".. or, worse yet, tow the car. Or, you say "Please step out for a second and wait", and then manly-ily jack your car up, change the ***** tire, and drive to the restaurant like nothing ***** happened in 15 minutes. (Wash your hands before you eat.) You'll be the ***** man.
        • justice7, on 05/09/2008, -1/+3if you're not comfortable doing it, you'll look more like a douche trying. Take control of the situation any way you can and if she doesnt like it or offer to help in some way, then she's not worth keeping. Women are a dime a dozen; i wish you geeks would stop treating them all as if they're some rare find only once in a lifetime can bring you. Make sure she likes you for who you are, not if you can change a tire.
    • bieber, on 05/09/2008, -2/+15...you can't figure that out yourself? Follow the instructions on the jack to jack the car up, unscrew the big nuts on the outside of the tire (these are apparently called "lug nuts"), pull it off, put new one on, reverse process. Really not that hard, if you just try it...
      • sidian, on 05/09/2008, -0/+21naw man youre already effin it up..you loosen the bolts first THEN jack it up...city slicker
        • tomz17, on 05/09/2008, -0/+4nice!
        • jeuhrn, on 05/09/2008, -0/+4Also worth noting, even if you have a cheap jack or not, put the tire you just took off under the car.
      • somedirtbag, on 05/09/2008, -1/+2Everybody knows that Diggers have deep rooted fear/jealousy of anything with "big nuts".
    • zebraz, on 05/09/2008, -2/+3I would be embarassed too if I couldn't do simple things.
      Things a chimpanzee can do.
      • ISurfTooMuch, on 05/09/2008, -0/+2Are you saying that the Trunk Monkey can change tires? Damn, I gotta get me one of those!
    • MalkyMalc, on 05/09/2008, -1/+1Yeah, whatever. Changing a tyre in the modern world is often impossible without professional help. The reason? Those high-powered guns they use to screw in the wheel nuts at garages. It seizes them in place. I once had to call out the AA and the guy took 15mins with some serious kit to get the bolts out.