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[humor] Google.com designed for Google

meangene.com — What would Google.com look like if it had to be designed for Search Engine Optimization In Google

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  • AndyBeard, on 10/26/2007, -1/+317Now you know why all sites tend to look the same OTHER THAN GOOGLE
    • bs0l, on 10/18/2007, -87/+7For those too lazy to click through, the final page is here: http://www.meangene.com/google/google_internet_sea ...
      • whatsgoodike, on 10/18/2007, -3/+66ZOMG, spoilers!!!1!
        seriously dude, it's about 8 pages, and all the humor would be lost without them.
        • cyberoidx, on 10/16/2007, -0/+1Comment hijack, but funny that google is nowhere on the first page when searched for "search"
          google.com/search?q=search
          • whatsgoodike, on 10/16/2007, -0/+1They we're talking about that last night in the comment section on the other google digg
            http://digg.com/tech_news/Revolutionary_Search_Eng ...
            Google doesn't show up when you search for anything 'search' related; most likely filtered out on purpose; search 'search' on Yahoo on the other hand.. (the contrasting professionalism shows fast)
    • jonnyboy88, on 10/16/2007, -4/+4oops
    • Elranzer, on 10/19/2007, -0/+24The best part is that all those mock-up links and tags actually work...
      • rabidbob, on 10/16/2007, -4/+4Yeah ... gotta love the Hillary Bushwacker Dildo link .... !
  • spiritfly, on 10/22/2007, -4/+75hmm.. now I wonder how google has PR10 without the necessary optimization?
    • GiorgosK, on 10/16/2007, -41/+8They can assign to themselves any PageRank they want, even 11 if they wanted ...
      • Verdanic, on 10/18/2007, -3/+41Thanks for clearing that up.
      • sancho320, on 10/16/2007, -0/+4No, they have to follow the algorithm, it wouldn't be FAIR any other way!!!
        • aaronm67, on 10/16/2007, -0/+11...like google doesn't have enough incoming links to qualify as pagerank 10?
        • michaelb1, on 10/16/2007, -0/+1trust the algorithm
    • DJB31st, on 10/16/2007, -0/+14Because PR has absolutely nothing to do with any of this.. its about the PR of pages that link to yours.. think how many sites link to google, that is why they have a PR of 10.

      If they where cheating SERPS.. then that would be different as a look on their homepage shows no META tags, no descriptions etc.. which explains why the listing looks horrible when you search google in google. http://www.google.com/search?q=google&btnG=Search& ...

      However PLEASE don't click the link above too many times.. as i've heard rumours that it COULD break the internet!!
    • trylleklovn, on 10/16/2007, -0/+1Infinte loop! *head explodes*
  • JonnyCash, on 10/31/2007, -6/+724That's funny...I was expecting it to continue to morph into Yahoo.com :)
    • beatryder, on 10/22/2007, -10/+53me too!
      • takeda, on 10/19/2007, -0/+18Agree,
        The 9th page should just replace the logo to "Yahoo!" and the changes would be complete.
    • swisstone, on 10/19/2007, -0/+14me three!
    • gutterclown, on 10/19/2007, -1/+26Go banana!
    • robomixx, on 10/19/2007, -5/+12KKKKK CAAAPTAIN PLAAANNNNET!
      • seraph582, on 10/19/2007, -3/+13... what does the KKK have to do with anything?
        • drakenlot, on 10/19/2007, -0/+7He said the KKKKK, they're different
        • nekochan, on 11/05/2007, -0/+10kkk captain planet swears its the blacks that are destroying the environment.
      • Killah_xxx, on 10/19/2007, -0/+6"Protect the environment, or I'll f***ing kill ya'!"
    • wolfkeeper, on 10/24/2007, -0/+1I just noticed that the google rank of www.google.com is 8/10 whereas the google rank of www.yahoo.com is 10/10, and msn.com is 1/10 (!)
  • aflusche, on 10/22/2007, -21/+4Thanks for this, Andy!
  • Sandpetra, on 10/22/2007, -20/+3Class! Makes u think doesn't it!
  • Tobsy, on 11/05/2007, -4/+137*lol* This is brilliant.
    Hmm, on the other hand - It's totally undermonetized. They'll never make it. ;-)
    • mozfet, on 10/16/2007, -0/+3Fantastic, there is nothing like your own medicine :) Adding AdSense would help with getting the site indexed. Also, it needs around 300 words of non-link content, a couple of RSS feeds, and where is the PODCAST? And where are the affiliate links?
    • towlie, on 10/16/2007, -0/+3*lol*
  • fastfastlane, on 10/18/2007, -2/+32Google to perfection:
    Sites We Like Hot - www.linkshare.com
    New Websites - links4trade.com
    Our Partners - payperpost.com
    Bwahaha, bloody hilarious!
  • emom, on 10/16/2007, -40/+4Google only gave Yahoo a page rank of 10 a few months ago - last time I checked they were at a laughable PR9 - laughable only because it made Google look so freaking childish & STUPID.
    • HonoredMule, on 10/17/2007, -1/+24I don't suppose it occurred to you that Yahoo's page rank was not rigged, and Yahoo is actually that pathetic?
  • bullsfan03, on 10/17/2007, -2/+33So THAT's what the "I'm feeling lucky" button is for! thank you for re-inforcing the keywords for me!
    • Digibull, on 10/16/2007, -0/+10Yeah, I've never felt lucky so I've never pressed it :(
      • drakenlot, on 10/16/2007, -1/+1You've prolly confused getting lucky with being lucky. Then again, you could just be that unlucky.
  • MyxoFish, on 10/16/2007, -6/+0Time paradox.
    • Gravey9, on 10/16/2007, -0/+1No...no, that's not at all what it is.
  • toastgodsupreme, on 10/22/2007, -3/+181Looks like Yahoo... except cleaner.
  • mediaspree, on 10/17/2007, -46/+4This is what happend to Bush, running on a humble foreign policy.
    • Mononuclear, on 10/16/2007, -2/+23... what?
    • RobotBanana, on 10/16/2007, -0/+24Yeah, because the one thing we need more of is Bush comments in completely unrelated topics.
    • utahnkid, on 10/16/2007, -1/+9Go away
  • Deathbaboon, on 10/16/2007, -21/+10hillary dildo bushwhacker FTW
    • carleethian, on 10/16/2007, -2/+2funniest part
    • lazyslacker, on 10/16/2007, -0/+0Your post is the first result on google if you search for "hillary dildo bushwhacker".
  • fuzzmeister, on 10/19/2007, -6/+95It seems like Google could actually use some SEO. Check out this search:
    http://www.google.com/search?q=search+engine

    google.com isn't even on the first page when you search for "search engine" in Google. The nearest result is google.co.uk on the second page.
    • zeptobyte, on 10/22/2007, -3/+55If you're searching on Google, you probably know about Google, and don't need to find it by searching.
      • fuzzmeister, on 10/16/2007, -2/+24Obviously, but the point still stands that Google doesn't fudge the results to benefit them, and could use some good ol' SEO.
        • HonoredMule, on 10/19/2007, -0/+28Google instead goes for UHO: user-happiness optimization.

          As it turns out, search engine optimization doesn't do much to fix that point 5 seconds in where users discover that your website is crap and leave forever.
    • kretik, on 10/16/2007, -0/+8That's a very interesting observation. Discarding the fact that you're obviously using Google to begin with, I also tried "internet search", where Google doesn't even rank. I think that's on purpose. Imagine the thousand "privacy advocates" and miscellaneous nutcracks who would howl at Google if it were the first hit on a search like that, even though it probably should.
      Try that on Yahoo, Altavista and MSN, BTW. You'll be surprised at the results =)
      • arctic, on 10/16/2007, -0/+2"Privacy advocates"? It's their website, they can do with it as they please.
      • yunus, on 10/17/2007, -0/+3They should just use one of their corrections like when you spell something wrong to say "Are we not good enough for you!"
    • bipher, on 10/17/2007, -5/+0That's so funny! Alta Vista, Microsoft and Yahoo all rank higher on Google than Google, ha ha!
    • thebrawl, on 10/16/2007, -0/+1The #1 Google result for "search engine" is Dogpile. However, if you try "search engine" at Dogpile, Google is ... [Found on Windows Live, Yahoo! Search]
    • zongamin, on 10/16/2007, -1/+1idiot?
    • plbland, on 10/16/2007, -0/+1Ah, but on Live.com Google Ranks 1st

      http://search.live.com/results.aspx?q=search+engin ...
    • TheOneGreatX, on 10/16/2007, -0/+1http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=search+engine&ei= ...
  • vat0r, on 10/22/2007, -3/+35Almost nailed it but you forgot the extra snazzy "Web 2.0" design.
    • Ludnix, on 10/16/2007, -3/+4Search engines do not care how shiny your websites are.
      • 4ndr3wk, on 10/16/2007, -2/+1but users care how their search engines look
        • Jugalator, on 10/16/2007, -0/+2Yeah, not that that has anything to do with the article though. It's about search engine optimization.
  • swatward, on 10/17/2007, -3/+80I just realized there was no digg for the google.com homepage. I made one.
    • whatsgoodike, on 10/22/2007, -1/+26best part: your digg should hit the front page by morning, nice work. *golf clap*
      • marksmayo, on 10/16/2007, -0/+2brilliant work - it DID make front page :) Possibly the digg article with the most sarcastic comments on it too ;)
        • whatsgoodike, on 10/16/2007, -0/+1Mine was one of them! You'd have to be a prudish dick not to get a kick out of digging google.
    • JoshRulzzAtWork, on 10/20/2007, -2/+4You could make the summary:
      HAY GUISE THEIRS THIS GR8 SITE WHERE YOU CAN TYPE STUFF IN AND IT WILL SHOW YOU PAGES THAT HAVE THAT STUFF ON IT LOL.

      Or even better:
      Best picture of a web search engine EVER!!
      • whatsgoodike, on 10/16/2007, -0/+1What?
        aahh... no... i think his was fine.. take a seat.
        His China reference was gold.
  • mishsquish, on 10/17/2007, -1/+29I'd also slap in Google AdSense to increase the frequency of Google coming up in the Google search results.
  • acitcratnA, on 10/16/2007, -4/+2Searching gives me an error.
  • yfguitarist, on 10/17/2007, -0/+37Thank heavens for the humor tag!
  • stellarceltic, on 10/16/2007, -1/+9[really? we had no idea...]
  • eatsushi, on 10/23/2007, -2/+21They forgot to link to www.adultfriendfinder.com
  • RadiatedAnt, on 10/23/2007, -4/+71Needs more Cowbell
    • Killah_xxx, on 10/16/2007, -2/+1"I've got a fever... And the only prescription is 'more cowbell'!"
      • tyzent, on 10/25/2007, -0/+2why even make this comment? you took a *funny* reference and expanded on it, making it not fit and less funny.
  • p0tent1al, on 10/16/2007, -3/+1This was excellent. Good job.
  • OrGoN3, on 10/16/2007, -9/+2What would Google.com look like if it had to be designed for Search Engine Optimization In Google?
  • Driv300mph, on 10/16/2007, -0/+3We need still more inbound links!!!!!!
  • cubedude6491, on 10/23/2007, -6/+3thanks for telling me it was humor...
  • gadgetboy32, on 10/16/2007, -9/+3Funny how history repeats itself. Evryone knows Yahoo! was exactly like this 11 yrs ago, it's just a matter of time google will like like what Yahoo is today.

    http://www.tranquileye.com/cyber/1997/yahoo_1997.g ...
  • crispyX, on 10/17/2007, -5/+0you people saying 'thanks for telling me it's humor', that was stated, since some people would actually click it and expect real stuff and be dissapointed later when somebody does 'oh it's just kidding dude'

  • Zaeyde, on 10/16/2007, -1/+3I am more amused by what the sex toys link leads to.
    Designer dildos. The one I clicked on was 169 dollars.

    ....
    Bwahaha/
    • darnit, on 10/16/2007, -0/+1Strap on's aren't cheap.
      • TheMidnight, on 10/16/2007, -0/+2At least we know where your bank account goes now.
  • bendingbeats, on 10/16/2007, -0/+3What no h1 tag or semantic markup? ... using tables for layout ... please.
    still funny.
  • ponstars, on 10/16/2007, -0/+2 Brilliant Andy!
  • adude, on 10/16/2007, -0/+2lol: Social-Bookmark-Spam Facilitators reminded me of Portal.
  • doom2quake, on 10/16/2007, -1/+1super funny ... i wonder if google even tries SEO on its own products ....
  • Googlelady, on 10/16/2007, -0/+2wow this is one of the best things I found on Digg lol.... Very nice ;)
  • remisser, on 10/23/2007, -1/+13Who searches the web anymore? We all google the web now.
  • theclashrocker, on 10/16/2007, -0/+1so basically that looks between google.com and igoogle.com as far as webpage clutter goes.
  • fearlessfx, on 10/16/2007, -2/+1Searching gets a 404 error.. i thought this was google, not yahoo.
  • michel99, on 10/16/2007, -0/+0Great work.

    So how come google has pagerank of 8-9 even without all these. Are they cheating??
    • DJB31st, on 10/16/2007, -0/+1Because PR has absolutely nothing to do with any of this.. its about the PR of pages that link to yours.. think how many sites link to google, that is why they have a PR of 10

      If they where cheating SERPS.. then that would be different as a look on their homepage shows no META tags, no descriptions etc.. which explains why the listing looks horrible when you search google in google. http://www.google.com/search?q=google&btnG=Search& ...

      However PLEASE don't click the link above too many times.. as i've heard rumours that it COULD break the internet!!
  • willcoll, on 10/16/2007, -0/+1still looks easier to use that all the other search sites.
  • xkilleddestinyx, on 10/21/2007, -4/+0wooooooooooowwww thats amazing lmao so true too
  • Trax91, on 10/16/2007, -1/+3Without the [humor] tag, I'd forgot to laugh.

    /sarcasm
  • nextbigthang, on 10/16/2007, -3/+2as a SEO'er..this is f*cking hilarious!!!
  • willkelleher, on 10/16/2007, -1/+0I was expecting it to turn in to the MSN search page...
  • Mikau735, on 10/18/2007, -4/+0Am I the only one who doesn't get this at all?
    • mozfet, on 10/16/2007, -0/+0Probably... Try searching for SEO, click a couple of links, read a couple of forums, and go back and look at it again :)
  • MrSparky, on 10/16/2007, -3/+0Huh?!

    There's links in there for keyword searches. Make a popular 'joke' and get plenty of links with PR?!

    SPAM!! Tell me I'm being too cynical?!
  • MistyEstelle, on 10/23/2007, -0/+3Hah! This never even occured to me before, but it is true... Google gets away with having such a clean minimal site because it IS Google ;)
    • realunderdog, on 10/16/2007, -0/+1"Google gets away with having such a clean minimal site because it IS Google ;)"

      There is no substitute for ownership.
  • irvin666, on 10/16/2007, -1/+0Reminds me of Maddox.
  • pezholio, on 10/16/2007, -1/+8SEO is the alchemy of the 21st century. Any 'link requests' I get go straight in the spam folder. IT DOESN'T WORK PEOPLE! Just have a standards compliant, well designed, accessible site and the rest will follow...
    • lcarsdeveloper, on 10/16/2007, -0/+4You left out the most important thing...HAVE GOOD CONTENT! What's the point of a brilliant looking well designed site if there's nothing worth reading on it? So many people build unoriginal sites with stolen content, and they're a complete waste of effort.
    • DCUK, on 10/16/2007, -0/+1Content and TIME = most important
  • guardianx, on 10/18/2007, -0/+10What no hidden text? pah they'll never rank!
  • sonar1, on 10/16/2007, -3/+2die evil corporations! viva la goolgucion!
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