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285 Comments
- inactive, on 05/28/2009, -9/+1203...but I didn't shoot the century (gothic).
- popzero, on 05/28/2009, -3/+850And they say it is a capital offense.
- wild, on 05/28/2009, -10/+489The sun was setting just past the x-height of the horizon. Bodoni had been pressing on since daybreak, tracking was getting narrower, and he knew his bounty lay over the next hill. The bitter grit of ampersand was coating his throat, and he was thirsty for a resolution. At the top of the hill he looked out. All of Rosewood lay below him.
A pica jumped out from behind a bush, startling him.
"A bit jumpy, ain't ya Serif?" Bodoni turned to see Helvetica standing behind him, gun in hand.
"So we finally get to meet face to face." Bodoni had seen his type before. The rigid lines and smooth angles. Yea, Helvetica was easy to read, but so common he left no impression. The kind of man that lives a hard life, taken for granted. Growing up, he was probably cast away by the ladies in favor of new money, someone from a family like the Futura's or Univers's. Yes, Bodoni would have found Helvetica's appearance comic, sans the gun in his hand.
The two men locked eyes, measuring each other up. "We have rules in these here parts. You can't just run around opening up the lead on any typeface you want."
"I didn't do it, Serif." Helvetica gritted his teeth. Someone was going to see a bullet before the sun sets.
"Why don't you come along quietly? No reason to make a big display out of this."
"That won't be happening. I got a large family to feed. You take me in and I won't get a trial of fair design. And with what you've accused me of, no lawyer would take my case."
"I don't intend to take you in. You've been sentenced to the death, and I am here to watch you bleed."
"I did not shoot Caslon, and I'll be damned if your going to put my face on the murder!"
Bodoni knew he could not match Helvetica for speed. He was a legend, but at the end of the day still the same old character. No, despite his popularity Hevetica would have to die if there was to be prosperity for the Bodoni family. Guilty or not, for too long the Helvetica's had run rampant in these parts. It made it hard for another man to find a purpose. Bodoni would have to open up first. Someone was going to take a bullet, and he couldn't leave Arial as a widow, not now. Killing Helvetica was right, justified.
The Serif pulled out his revolver quick as an em dash and squeezed the trigger. He missed wide, letting out a cursive as he dropped to his left. Helvetica fell to his knees and drew fast. Bodoni took a bullet in the neck and fell backwards. He rasped for breath, reaching for the gun that lay just a few points too far from his hands.
Helvetica stared down at him, pity in his eyes. "It didn't have to be this way. I may have shot you Serif, but I did not shoot your Century." - offdachizzane, on 05/28/2009, -3/+348...but I swear it was in Script Condensed.
- illegalamigo, on 05/28/2009, -4/+320how could you be so bold?
- JAPHacake, on 06/11/2009, -18/+298* Desperately trying to think of a font related pun*
- fallingdamage, on 05/28/2009, -3/+264The internets has been going for almost 20 years now and someone finally came up with this??
- wickensworth, on 05/28/2009, -3/+258Your effort shows a lot of character
- warp1080, on 05/28/2009, -4/+218I work for www.loiterink.com and this image was taken from a product on our site. If you'd like to support the actual artist of this you can buy the shirt at http://www.loiterink.com/i-shot-the-serif/362/.
- ToastPop, on 05/28/2009, -6/+207Dammit, as soon as I saw the headline I was trying but couldn't think of a somewhat rhyming font. I have been outwitted.
- radicaldementia, on 05/28/2009, -4/+186Comic sans has been waiting for this day.
- glinsvad, on 05/28/2009, -3/+155But the punishment is merely symbolic.
- cornelje, on 05/28/2009, -1/+141I feel the crime was justified.
- postitnote, on 05/28/2009, -1/+132It definitely was a bold move though.
- dogatemypron, on 05/28/2009, -5/+136I read that far too many times before I realized it didn't say sheriff.
- inactive, on 05/28/2009, -1/+124Police Helicopter performed an arial search.
- chockster, on 05/28/2009, -2/+117If anything, it underlines the need for greater gun control.
- monarch00, on 05/28/2009, -5/+120Puns can be abstract. Stop trying to follow the letter of the law...
- ADifferentUsern, on 05/28/2009, -3/+107Wingdings did. Got off with an insanity plea.
- onederboy, on 05/28/2009, -1/+97I heard one of the suspects is quite a character.
- gAquila, on 05/28/2009, -7/+84Hmm, a font comic (sans)?
- readacook, on 05/28/2009, -0/+75You young kinds with your sans-serifs.
- commentposted, on 05/28/2009, -2/+73The Times New Roman newspaper reported the incident.
- chockster, on 05/28/2009, -5/+75Something about italic.
- Managore, on 05/28/2009, -0/+70The Georgia Times knew Roman Verdana was behind it all.
- Rhendal, on 05/28/2009, -3/+67It happened in font of many eyewitnesses.
- onederboy, on 05/28/2009, -0/+61Wingdings was later quoted saying "Finger pointing right, cross, thumbs up, face with blank expression, space, teardrop, finger pointing left, sun, high five, finger pointing right."
- jerstud56, on 05/28/2009, -11/+65The problem here has not yet been underlined.
- epgyd, on 05/28/2009, -2/+53I logged into this long-forgotten account to digg you, wild.
"I don't intend to take you in. You've been sentenced to the death, and I am here to watch you bleed."
just because of this one, single, line. Strikingly original = 1 digg. Savor it bro. - krwlngindark, on 05/28/2009, -1/+51wooooooooow.
- frontaxle, on 05/28/2009, -3/+53We'll have none of your type around here?
- VoodooChi1d, on 05/28/2009, -2/+51Typographical humor.
- Mship, on 05/28/2009, -1/+45I'm sure a 6 year old wouldn't know sans-serifs. So stop trying to be a pretentious ass.
- benderillo, on 05/28/2009, -0/+44back in my day it was all monospaced courier and we liked it.
- DeadManWalking, on 05/28/2009, -1/+43Garamond always hated me...
- roostersheep, on 05/28/2009, -3/+43This type of offense is never followed through to the letter. The problem stems from video games.
- rhdesigns, on 05/28/2009, -2/+39Best comment/story of the day, no doubt.
You sir win all of the internets for today - ianferrell, on 05/28/2009, -1/+38Century Gothic is a SANS serif font. It doesn't have serifs.
- Vorsprung, on 05/28/2009, -1/+37aaaand thumbnail ruins surprise, yet again. :/
- emistijl, on 05/28/2009, -0/+36No. This is an old concept. The internet is still a den of thieves.
- dVerge, on 05/28/2009, -1/+37I've grown quite font of these pun threads.
- Nauru, on 05/28/2009, -0/+36I didn't think you were the type to say so.
- fredrockbluff, on 05/28/2009, -0/+36this comment thread is engrave danger....
- JethroSoulja, on 05/28/2009, -1/+36Dude, this was ***** brilliant! why are people digging you down? I was enthralled.
- seroevo, on 05/28/2009, -6/+39Ugh. It's hard to say what's worse, the initial "joke" or the barrage of puns that followed.
- nablec, on 05/28/2009, -0/+32It's arial shame these threads won't last long.
- gamebittk, on 05/28/2009, -1/+31wild, that was fantastic.
http://digg.com/d1sO8e - alpha88, on 05/28/2009, -0/+30allfatherblack: We get it. You wear a bluetooth headset.
- inactive, on 05/28/2009, -2/+29I think the only thing uglier than comic sans would be comic serif.
- latexsolarbeef, on 05/28/2009, -0/+27It's a shame the actual "I shot the serif" font is just horrid.
http://www.dafont.com/search.php?psize=m&q=i+s ... -
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